Unfair!?

Unfair?! I've been so busy for the past few weeks. I've hardly had time to do my laundry, much less cook for myself. I broke down the other weekend after I spent close to 5 hours at my house all week long because of work and sleeping elsewhere. Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with the one person in my life whome I thought would understand me as much as my girlfriends. Was I expecting too much again? How come I always have to be the one to ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling? How come I'm the one who usually initates the check-ins? AND, to top it off, I have to pull stuff out of him most of the time! What the hell is going on? For the first time, I'm finally fine with my professional life but it feels like things outside of it are in some sort of transition. I haven't been inspired to cook anything in such a long time. I want to do something with my room to rearrange or something but I don't know what. I want to do something different in the dining room but I don't know what. I haven't sketched anything in such a long time. What the hell kind of phase is this?!

Gray Matter Exercise

Will someone please dig me out of the drab intellectual hole I feel like I've been in for ages? The best thing about this is that I can't even figure out what I'm in the mood for. The last movie i saw in the theaters was Bride and Prejudice . It was such a smart and cheeky movie...definite chick flick and a I know a few boy toys who would love it!

I haven't even cooked in so long! I haven't felt very inspired. I miss the farmers' market I used to go to regularly. I need to make more of a point to go every Thursday in Chinatown or in Northridge. Inspritation...I can't do weekly trips to Trader Joe's, especially when I know I can pick up fresh produce a bit cheaper elsewhere.

Inspirition...inspiration...inspiration...where to find it...where to find it...where to find it.

Say it isn't so!

Have I really gotten too old for going out? I've just noticed lately that I don't have patience for all these stupid, ritzy, ditzy clubs. How many times do you go to the same damn place and go through the same damn routine...get your fit right, get your hair tight...blah blah blah. Have I really gotten that spoiled to just stick to clubs or night-outs where my friends and I have rented out a club/restaurant or at least a portion of it to just chill? Have I really gotten into the habit of extending so much energy during the day that I can't even fathom doing much in the evenings except chill out on my bed with a nice book or scroll through internet babble? Ummmm...maybe it's a phase...

Daily Download

What the hell am I feeling right now? Work has been kicking my butt and tomorrow will be another day. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS FREAKIN' EVENT IS OVER!! I completely asked for it. Growing pains...growing pains...growing pains. Man, it's been rough.

Came from a FAN mixer tonight. Not sure what to think about that group at this point. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. Maybe it's just the month. Only two board members were there tonight, minus the two advisors. I haven't been in the mood to network with anyone during the past few mixers. Someone put it quite well tonight - "I don't want to go to those things anymore. It's the same damn thing all the freakin' time. Do something different already!" EXACTLY! Do I still have hope for that group?...yes. Will it stand the test of time and get fully running on its own?...who knows? But just like anything, if people will for something, then it will happen.

The one thing I was impressed with tonight were the three people I met as I was walking out the door from the mixer. They were three men who started a record label in New York and have been in LA for the past year or so trying to push their music into the scene on the West Coast. All three were Pilipino and had mentioned that they were currently working with UCLA's Samahang on something. Taking into consideration that my perception of Samahang isn't too positive at this point, I think it's high time to introduce these boys to other, more general community organizations. I was impressed by their candor and their willingness to network with a whole load of different people. I immediately introduced them to one of the FAN board members and they took it from there. Good luck, Q.

After the whole program for this evening and having someone whine in my ear for most of the night, I'm just completely exhausted. I got on the computer with the intention of doing some work but I'm just not feeling it right now. As I said earlier, tomorrow is another day.

Breathing

Today was a damn hard day. I feel like I got trampled on left and right and tomorrow will be another day. It's amazing that I actually like what I'm doing. Growing pains...must be patient with myself and must continue to have a little more foresight.

Phases

For the first time in a long time, i can honestly say I'm in a state of peace. I was always looking for something more the entire time I was at Kaplan. I started to volunteer with other organizations to find out what I really wanted to do and through all of that, here I am, working with one of the groups I had volunteered with in the past. I am an advisor of a group that i was completely skeptical about joining to begin with. I have met the majority of my friends through the volunteer projects and organizations I have participated in over the past few years. Go figure. We'll see how long this phase lasts. But one thing's for sure...I'm enjoying every minute.

Let's go out!

Last night was the first time I have gotten drunk in such a long time! Had fun with some of my girls at Claudia & James' wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and the weather was perfect. Thank goodness the rain has passed, for now at least. It was the funnest time I've had with my girls in quite some time. I miss going out with Cris! Time to get the Spring/Summer party season started!