Missing Pedestal

For some reason, I feel like gloating about this - "A Minor Trail? Not for Filipinos."

I hope this is another reason why Pinoys should not put their beloved artists on pedestals, more so than US artists!




A Minor Trial? Not to Filipinos
A drug possession case features a name that many in her homeland, and among L.A.'s immigrants, adore. She's an actress now in a sobering role.
By Jia-Rui Chong
Times Staff Writer

September 29, 2005

The People vs. Nora Cabaltera Villamayor, a small drug possession case being heard in a branch courthouse near LAX, has received little attention in the U.S. news media.

But in the Philippines, the coverage has been so extensive, and at times breathless, that it rivals the U.S. fixation on Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart.

For her first court date recently, a crowd including journalists from Manila and fans who flew in from across the United States swarmed the petite 53-year-old star of stage and screen. A puzzled Associated Press photographer turned to a Los Angeles correspondent for the Philippine Daily Inquirer covering the arraignment and asked, "Is she as big as Sophia Loren is in Italy?"

"Way bigger," the reporter replied.

Villamayor is anonymous in the United States, except among Filipinos, to whom she is better known by her stage name, Nora Aunor.

On March 30, authorities say, a federal baggage screener at Los Angeles International Airport reached into her black duffel carry-on and pulled out a glass pipe and 6.69 grams of methamphetamine inside a knotted-up baggy concealed in a sock. At the time, authorities didn't know of her celebrity, said Deputy Dist. Atty. Marguerite Rizzo.

But at home, and among Southern California's huge population of Filipino immigrants, Aunor is called simply "the Superstar."

Presidential candidates have been known to call her seeking an endorsement. Former President Joseph Estrada gave her a house in 1998 after she helped him with his campaign. She has been called the Philippines' greatest pop icon.

Aunor's legions of fans — Noranians, they call themselves — compare her as an actress to Meryl Streep. They have flocked to the more than 170 movies in which she has starred. As a Broadway-style belter in the style of Barbra Streisand, she has cut more than 20 albums.

Some in the Filipino press have portrayed Aunor's drug case as if it were one of her screen melodramas.

Her fans are divided over whether to believe the government's case but say they plan to stick by their star.

"We realize that Nora Aunor is no saint," said Epee Rafanan, a 55-year-old San Francisco resident and officer of the International Circle of Online Noranians, a fan club.

Rafanan and seven other fan club members from the Bay Area drove overnight so they could sit in on the arraignment at which Aunor, who is free on bail, pleaded not guilty.

For that first court date, April 21, fans outside shrieked and raised placards reading "Noranians Forever" and "We Love You Ate Guy." (Ate is a respectful term for older sister in the Philippines, and Guy is a nickname from high school that stuck.)

The fans followed her into the courtroom and filled the rows behind her. Some winked or smiled at her from their seats. Others walked over to whisper in her ear or pass her candy.

Erlinda Valderrama, a 57-year-old Baldwin Park resident who saw Aunor in concert recently, called her "a strong woman."

"She's going to get over it. She's been through worse," Valderrama said.

Corabel Ybanez, 55, also considers herself a Noranian but worries that the star has lost her direction.

Ybanez, who lives in New York City and was recently visiting relatives in Carson, thinks most people pity the actress now.

"I'm sad," she said. "She's practically alone, and she spends her time with friends who lead irregular lives."

Aunor has grown so popular with Filipinos because they identify with her rags-to-riches story, said Momar G. Visaya, editor of the Asian Journal, a Los Angeles-based newspaper for Filipinos.

"She's from a really poor, poor family in the Bicol region," he said. "People see her as an inspiration — if she can do it, anybody can."

To earn money as a child, Aunor would sell water at the train station or cooked food throughout town from a woven tray carried on her head.

She became famous at 14, when she won a national singing competition.

Aunor distinguished herself from many stars of the day by acting in an understated style and speaking in Tagalog, not English. She opened the door for a new kind of movie star, Visaya said.

Fans are especially loyal because Aunor goes out of her way to recognize them, Rafanan said.

After she regaled the audience with her golden voice at a January concert in Hawaii, she signed autographs for hours.

"People at the venue decided it was taking too long, and they would like to close the gates," Rafanan said. "There was still a long line of people waiting for her signature. Nora said, 'Well, I'm going to continue signing autographs outside.' She didn't stop until the last fan."

At a concert in Reno last spring, Rafanan recalled, Aunor walked to the seat of a 95-year-old woman in the audience and told the crowd that this woman had flown from New York to spend her birthday at the concert.

"These are older people who are saying, 'Oh, I didn't see you in the Philippines, but oh, I see you here. I'm so happy,' " Rafanan said.

Aunor, who was released on bail hours after her arrest, is continuing a U.S. concert tour, which has included recent dates in Glendale and Las Vegas.

This month, she was the guest star of a show at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut. The audience feverishly applauded her versions of "What a Feeling" and "The Impossible Dream."

Waiting backstage in a black and fuchsia ball gown and size-2 heels, Aunor said in halting but clear English that her lawyers had instructed her not to discuss details of the trial other than to say she denied the charges.

But she did say she had reached a state of calm about it. The only time nerves got the better of her, she said, was at her second court date.

"At the preliminary hearing, I was so nervous I cried," she said, clutching a reporter's arm. "But then I realized, when I do nothing, I don't have to be nervous or afraid. I believe in God."

Aunor has been living in the San Francisco area since August 2004, said her business manager, Norie Sayo. She declined to name the city, saying she didn't want fans to mob Aunor's house.

Aunor said she hoped to establish residency in the U.S. because she wanted to live a more anonymous life.

"I don't want to be called 'the Superstar,' " she said. "I was happy before when I was just in the provinces."

In Manila, she said, fans who saw her on the street would pinch her, just to say they had touched the Superstar. She never left her house to go shopping. Boutiques brought the newest fashions to her.

"California is nice," she said. "I can do everything I cannot in Manila. I can shop. I can go walking anywhere."

In the Bay Area, Filipino Americans might spot her at the Target or Radio Shack, but they usually leave her alone.

But she still inspired some hysteria during the Walnut concert. As soon as she stepped outside, a group of about 20 women surrounded Aunor, shouting, "Ate Guy! Ate Guy!"

All tried to hug her. Sayo had to pull Aunor free by the arm so she could sign autographs at a nearby table. As cameras flashed around the star, about 40 more people, looking delighted, waited while she signed programs, CDs and old photographs fans had brought.

Most did not mention the trial, but one fan did offer Aunor a business card. The woman told Aunor in mixed Tagalog and English to call her if she needed help because her husband knew someone in the district attorney's office.

For the trial, Sayo has been trying to downplay Aunor's celebrity status.

"I told the fan clubs, Don't come anymore" to court, she said. "We just want it to come out like a regular case, nothing special."

Aunor faces up to three years in prison and possible deportation if convicted. The trial is scheduled to begin Oct. 14, said prosecutor Rizzo.

Rizzo said she hadn't heard of Aunor until after the arraignment, when other lawyers in the office handed her the case and told her Aunor was famous. "She's just a defendant that I'm prosecuting," Rizzo said.

Fund Raising 101

When you're trying to raise money for the less fortunate, why would you target the less fortunate to attend an event or fund raiser? Um...maybe targeting a crowd that has more disposable income might help in the cause? I think this is one of the big things that get to me when I attend "art for art's sake" fund raisers. Most of the time, I see artists and other supporters who don't necessarily have the disposable to allow them to give.

The Youngest Maxim Reader

This boy's a trip. Maddux Paras is one of the chubbiest and cutest babies I know! I could just eat him!

The Soul of a Revolution

I finally had a chance to watch "Diarios de Motocicleta" tonight. I can understand why it was nominated for Academy Awards. It was a beautiful movie which took you through stunning landscapes of Sur America. It was also a wonderful story of how Ernesto "Che" Guevarra and his friend, Alberto Granada, experience the people and the land of which their priveleged lives allowed them to experience.

Throughout the journey, we see the two move out of their comfort zones and begin to see the inequalities and divisions that exist in their society. We see how they are affected by it and what they choose to do about their feelings and their passion to create change in their society. It's an inspirational story that not only makes you want to travel the world but learn from the people who keep this world turning - working families.

I've never examined any of Che's writings or philosophy. Time to put another one on my list.

By the way, get your dvd copies now!

Santa Barbara Camping

All we did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep and drink.


Noel apparently was the pro at all this camping stuff.



The boys came up with a super smart game...who could throw a rock the farthest into the ocean.


And for the "wiener," Noel got to wear these stylin' glasses...er goggles?


We went wine tasting afterwards. Don't let these pictures fool you. The first winery we went to had wines stored in metal barrels...yech! We could taste the metal in the wine. How 'bout using glass barrels?


It was back to LA after traipsing through Santa Barbara County, particularly in Solvang. We were done after the hunt for THE Cheese store was over. Tons of wine on a hot day is not always a great idea.

Next year...Yosemite!

"Filipinotown Searching for Its Center"

I've heard so many damn comments about this freakin' LA Times article in the past few days. I guess it was expected since I do work in Historic Filipinotown with one of the largest community organizations there.

I don't quite understand what the purpose was of the article? From what I heard when people were being interviewed for this article, it sounded like the writing was going to be a bit more extensive than what appeared in the paper. For those folks who were "misquoted" how 'bout writing into the opinion section of the LA Times and setting it straight. If you don't make any noise, who's going to hear you? Besides, whatever you write will most likely make the paper since it's in direct response to a previous article and it looks like The Times wants to give more focus to the other brown folks in this city. It's about freakin' time, no?

So what about the people who know nothing about Historic Filipinotown. Let's hope this article drives them to find out more. It's great publicity for SIPA, I can tell you that!

The question remains, is an economic center for Historic Filipinotown the right direction to go when the majority of the Filipino American community has yet to figure out how to work together? Is an economic center something that we, as a community really need? Maybe this area needs to grow as naturally as other Pilipino-centric areas have such as Panorama City, West Covina, Carson City and National City. How are you going to participate in the change? Talk is cheap.

Restless

What to do, what to do...I'm supposed to get motivated and start exercising again...tomorrow? I guess it would be a good thing if I actually disciplined myself more...tomorrow?

Sweeet, Apple!

The company is blasting the electronic music industry out of the water. It has cornered 82% of the market. To many, Steve Jobs is God! To me, he's a freakin' genius. The leadership he has given to Apple is incomparable. So what do you do when you've determined your largest market share? Create more developments so you make more money in that market!

Some new developments -
1. New version of Itunes w/functions that allow users to make it more convenient for users to listen to the music THE WAY THEY WANT
2. The exclusive acquisition of all of Madonna's albums
3. The exclusive acquisition of all of the audio books of Harry Potter
4. An exclusive partnership with Motorola to provide an Itunes phone through Cingular's network - gives access to music anywhere in the world through the network combined with the phone features....the ads for this are fuckin' AWESOME...ok, some are corny but they get the message across and Apple, Cingular and Motorola will be reaping the rewards from this for quite some time
5. more deals have been made with Honda, Acura, Audi and Volkswagen to offer ipod connectivity in their cars - by 2006, 30% of all cars in the US will offer this option
6. Ipod Mini be gone! - they've introduce the Ipod Nano that's as small as the coin pocket in traditional jeans. It carries 1,000 songs and is in color! Feast your eyes....kids, this is smaller than the stupid Razr phone that I've been lusting about since it came out. The smallest will have 2 gigs and holds 500 songs. It's selling for $199. It's just $70 more than the Shuffle. Which one would you get? Keep in mind the Shuffle has no display screen.



So is this whole entry an Apple ad? OF COURSE! Simply because they rock! Until the next big company comes along, my statement stays! I've worked on their systems since I was in 4th grade and I'm not backing out anytime soon.

Go Steve Jobs and your peeps! Thanks for my super cute Powerbook, too!

Palengke Politics

In a palengke (market), there's tons of activities going on but in the midst of all the chaos, exchanges of goods are had, individuals communicate but everything can never really seem to come together and work in unison. I witnessed a wonderful example of palengke politics tonight. SIPA had a community meeting for two of our housing developments.

Magnolia Tree is on 2nd & Lake. It's an affordable housing development with 46 family units. We're going to break ground in October and it's going to go off without a hitch.

Mango Tree is the mixed used, Seniors' housing development that's going to be across the street from our existing offices. It has received little backing from the City of LA, thus far. The purpose of the community meeting was to get names and people to physically back the project so the logistics could start getting processed by the City of LA.

First of all, the presentation of the material was a bit confusing, particularly for the audience. It wasn't even clear to me at first what was going to happen. A presentation was made about SIPA and then they went in to the transit survey and the housing developments. When you are presenting to an audience who is a bit physically older and mentally slower, holds English as a second language, you might not want to frame your statements with words and concepts that are at a higher intellectual level. I was a bit astounded at how things were presented. There were several times I just wanted to grab the mics out of all of the speakers hands and clearly explain everything.

The community was brought together to:
1. learn more about SIPA and the services that are offered to the surrounding community-in-need
2. participate in a transit survey to improve the conditions of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown
3. get more information about SIPA's two housing developments
4. pledge their committment to physically call the council district office to state their support for the Mango Tree project

Why did it take more than one hour?! Granted, people did eat but some of the questions that were asked were a bit ridiculous only because the material was not presented in a very clear manner.

When information was being given about SIPA and our services, you could hear the leaves rustling in the wind. Statements like case management and counseling, telecom rights campaign, and empowerment and leadership programs were way too sophisticated of words for the audience. You would think that presenters would get this way before-hand. Things were being translated in Spanish but I don't think that helped very much either!!!

The transit survey was presented and things just kept going downhill. All they needed to say was, "We want to improve all of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown by placing seats with covers and lights at the most frequented stops. We need you to fill out this survey with your comments and needs so we have proof to give to the City of LA so we can tell them that the community really does want to make these changes!"

The housing part was what killed me the most. It took forever for people to freakin' get the point that Magnolia Tree had no issues. Mango Tree was the development in danger. If no calls and/or backing gets to the City of LA, there will be no development, there will be no senior housing, there will be no new townhouses, there will be no new SIPA offices so we can do more and the future of other affordable housing developments in Historic Filipinotown becomes greatly jeopardized. Why that was so hard to get was solely based on the fact that concepts were just way too intangible for the audience.

In the midst of the entire event, people were talking amongst each other. People were answering cellphones. This one man kept standing up and started to walk around the room for whatever reason. Those who were hard of hearing were freakin' yelling at each other while they were attempting to ask questions of each other. Peter was laughing hysterically. Staff told the audience several times to give their attention to the speaker. Al Garcia had to give his interepretation of all the concepts in loud-ass Tagalog every so often. I was a bit jealous since I really wanted to do the same damn thing but in English so the other presenters could see how to properly address the audience.

I'm so addressing this madness at our next management meeting!

Tomorrow...tomorrow...tomorrow

It's time for my pops to stop smoking. I mean really, it's time. He's smoked for years and I was so scared when I talked to him today. It actually made me want to run home. He sounded as if he was hooked up to a respirator, gathering as much breath as possible to talk to me. Turns out he's been on respiratory antibiotics. He was with Mike at the clinic because he's been sick for the past few days, as well. I love my dad...always taking care of everyone else but himself. Not always a good trait to have, though. His little saying of "do as I say, not as I do" has been ringing through my head for years. He promised he'd stop smoking. I'm holding him to that.

Say "NO" to CA Sushi Bowl!

Just in case anyone plans on eating at the California Sushi Bowl on Vermont and Melrose anytime soon, I'd recommend you don't. That was the last thing I ate last Thursday before I started to feel a little off. Friday, it got worse. I started to feel more queasy and had a headache for most of the day. It then proceeded to nausea but I never through up, which may or may not have been a good thing.

I tried to get up on Saturday morning to go to the bathroom. As I was standing in front of the mirror, I felt extremely light headed and felt as if I was going to faint. The last time I felt that way was before I fainted in high school before I was diagnosed with anemia. I proceeded to panic trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. All the roomies peaced-out for the weekend so luckily The Joe was gracious enough to look after me while I was sweating away all of Saturday. I was knocked out! I was too weak to eat or drink anything, which sucked because that left me extremely weak!! I managed to muster up enough strength to move to the living room in the evening. I didn't have the strength to move after that so I spent the night on my futon in the living room.

The next morning was a little better. With a little mental will, I managed to get a little bit of cereal in me and take a warm shower after I determined that I had enough strength to actually stand for longer than a minute. I was still out of breath afterwards but felt a little better.

Today is another day and I'm still trying to recover my strength. No lifting big, fat boxes. Lots of fluids, though.

Lesson learned, kids...be extremely picky which "B" places you get food from.

$$$$$$$$

The almighty green devil...this freakin' world can't live without it. Working in the world of nonprofits really changes your view of money. It's a means of survival. You travel that fine line between making a profit for profits' sake and making a profit for the sake of the segment of the community you serve.

Being anti towards the corporate community is pointless. The reality is that the majority of the financial support that exists in the Pilipino community comes from corporations, not from individuals. But for non-corporate types, if you don't have events, it makes it look as if the organization "isn't doing anything." There's such a large disconnect from the people being served and taking advantage of the services and donors. That's one of the paradoxes I've observed over the past few months. It's quite hilarious. People expect you to better the community but they don't want to pick up their own torches to start supporting the community they often criticize for being disconnected and difficult to organize.

Where is it going to stop? I see the same attitudes passed on through generations. I keep thinking a change has to come soon but I keep getting discouraged when people in MY generation don't see the value in investing in themselves, in their people, in their families, in their youth, in their peers. And I'm just not talking about money. I'm talking about time and developing relationships that will help to sustain a cause, an organization.

And then there are those who want to take on every single issue possible. Intentions are grand, a little too grand. It takes a while for them to realize that you can't save the entire world by yourself. You're going to have to work with other people. Politics is a given. Whether you like to deal with it or not, you're going to need to learn how to play the game. Just be careful who your bedfellows are. Sometimes they don't always have the best intentions.

Lastly, there are tons of people who like to hear themselves speak. They want their grandstands because they think that's really going to make people listen to them. I've always had the experience of people not listening to those who are yelling. Stop yelling people, it's not going to get anywhere and will most certainly not get you what you want.

So all of these attitudes begin and end with money. What doesn't? I guess the key is to figure what kind of good you want to get from it and how do you go about getting what you want with it.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

YOU MUST THINK I'M STUPID! Motherfucker...think again!

We going campin'!

God only knows how this weekend is going to be. What has been a long time coming, had a few bumps along the way and is now actually happening is a bit hard to believe. I'm looking forward to it, though. Hopefully these fools won't be late so we can actually get a good camp site.

We're going to El Capitan. It looks beautiful, right on the ocean and connected to Refugio State Beach.

Uncle Andoy and Auntie Evelyn, along with Lanie are going to be at the Santa Barbara Farmer's Market. Can't wait to see them, either. I haven't seen family in a while. I even managed a little visit with Manong Ped and Lee while those fools are down here with Karen and Marie.

This is going to be a nice little getaway that has certainly been a long time coming. Pictures to come!

Where did it go?!

Dear Most High, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card.


8/10/05 8:18am
WOOHOO....found it! The best thing about it is now my laundry is seperated and ready to go! Mercury still sucks!

Happiest Place on Earth?

We're going here on Monday. As much as I don't want to be in the office, it's going to be a tad bit nerve racking considering we have a big event on Thursday and we're supposed to sell out on tickets.

Besides that, I'm not really looking forward to the heat and all the kiddies running about. Maybe I'm just being bah-humbug but damnit, it couldn't have come at such an inopportune time! Everytime I'm there, I also keep thinking of how happy can Disneyland be? It's a company that was started very long ago and had a different focus then. Now, the corporation has presented stories in a way that can be compared to how fastfood has stormed the nation. Disney has managed to dull down stories as much as their big name studio friends who make the movies that tell half truths.

Why am I being so cynical lately? Vacation time...

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

With the good comes the bad. I had a good day today...press conference this morning w/food and government officials talking about how the Voting Rights Act needs to be reapproved by the US Congress...came back for about an hour and then went to lunch and had the BEST MEATLOAF EVER!!!...took a nice tour of the Hollywood Hills, Lake Hollywood, drove by the Hollywood sign and salivated over all the super nice haciendas in the Hills...came back to the office and was let off early. Hoped to spend time with someone I haven't seen all freakin' damn week and now there's some stupid emergency and I'm back at work...again...writing in this damn journal...friend is getting a pedicure...my head feels heavy and all I want is a damn hug...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! motherfucker!

Winding down

It's late and I just got home about 15 minutes ago. Can't go to sleep yet so doing some winding down. I have so much pent up emotion right now.

I've been working like mad lately. Even friends who contact me at work can't get a hold of me.

We had to go to a movie premiere/screening of Miramax Films "The Great Raid" tonight. It was extremely difficult to watch scenes of the movie since the entire time I kept thinking about my relatives who lived through World War 2 and the Bataan Death March. I've been asked to keep my critiques to myself until after the next screening next week but hey, who's going to tell?



I kept waiting for something to be pronounced correctly by the purow/putit in the production. There were a couple of Tagalog words muttered by one of the actors but for the most part, everything else was pronounced with a very westernized tongue. I had a bit of a problem with the flawless makeup some of the women wore, particularly in the so-called battlefield and war-torn country. I didn't expect for them to show much of the story from the perspective of the Philippines and its people, the country that was raped by BOTH SPAIN AND THE UNITED STATES. I guess the edit would have been a little too long to show all of that. So what's it come down to, people? I think we're going to really need to start making our own damn films since none of the major western production companies are going to do it...ideal situation, no?

Sometimes I see these things and think, "Are we, as Pilipinos, ever going to break out of the mentality that we're not good enough to be in the forefront of media outlets or even in society?" How long are we going to settle for being portrayed as the "supporting actors?" I hear way too often, "Oh, it was a great story. Really shows how the Pilipino People are so caring." Always taking care of other people aside from themselves. It's a paradox that I see often, even from those in our community who feel they are trying to break the cycle. They're waiting for the next super power purow/putit to save them from themselves. When are we going to start taking care of ourselves? When are we going to begin telling our own stories and SUPPORTING each other through that?

Although this story could be portrayed as just another one that shows how Americans save the day, yet again, it also shows how vital it was to work with the Pilipino rebel soldiers. Before we get all pro-US, let's also remember that these same "rebel soldiers" were probably also the same ones who revert to fighting the US Baboys after they didn't want to get out of the country. The movie also neglected to show the exchange of the "deed" of the Philippines between Spain and the US. I guess that would have added a little more time to the movie than they wanted to, as well.

Overall, this movie was fine in showing the struggles and disparities of war, as well as the so-called true heroes. It shows the benefits in working with a group of individuals from different backgrounds, as well as highlights the historical significance of the piece. It's definitely something everyone should see. But I highly urge that this is definitely not where we, as Pilipinos and Pilipino Americans should stop. Fine, support a "mainstream" movie that takes place in the Philippines but let's work towards stopping Hollywood and the entertainment industry, as a whole, it's exoticism of the country and its people. I love meeting entertainment or corporate types who love to tell me how "exotic" my look is after they find out I'm "FIlipino." "I love that country. The people are sooo beautiful and oh so friendly!" It's a good thing they haven't opened their eyes to how the Philippines' people are just accomodating them in order to become as capitalistic as it's dominators in hopes of gaining more financial wealth than its oppressors so they can be just like them! Who's the bad guy again?

Aside from that, I'm exhausted, braindead and really, truly missing personal time.

Home Sweet Home

Found out someone attempted to break in to my mom's Pathfinder last Friday in broad daylight. Those are some fuckin' balls! Then, when they call the police for a report, they're told that they'd have to fill out a form online! What about the people who have limited or no access to the internet, as well as those who don't know how to use it?! My poor mother. No one has shown her how to even turn on the computer. I went ahead and filled out the stupid form online for her and sent the Stockton Police Department a nice little message.


From: Gerlie
Subject: Police Reporting
Date: August 1, 2005 11:08:28 PM PDT
To: police@ci.stockton.ca.us
Cc: Mom, Mike, Dist6@ci.stockton.ca.us

To whom it may concern,
My parents experienced an attempted auto theft last week in broad daylight. Although their car was not stolen, the feeling of violation on their personal property and well being continues to linger.

An attempt was made to contact the Stockton police department to report the crime shortly after the discovery of their damaged vehicle. The person they spoke with informed them that they would not send out a police car and instructed my mother fill out a police report online. I was a bit taken aback that the only option presented to them was to fill out the report online. I realize that the online reporting may make the process a bit more efficient. Is there any other way to get access to your services for those with 1) limited personal access to the internet, 2) limited or no knowledge of how to use the internet? I am concerned because having access to this type of technology is not always afforded to those of older age nor to those at low levels of income.

The crime happened on Friday, July 29th around 5pm. I did not hear about the news until today, 8/1/05. Because my parents have limited knowledge of the internet, I filled out the application for them even though I now live in Northridge in Southern California. If you would like to reference the temporary police report number, it is T05001721. It was submitted today, 8/1/05 at 19:12.

I applaud the technological advancements the Police Department and the City of Stockton have made with offering online services but I hope provisions have been made for those who have yet to afford access to those technolgical advancements. I have already suggested to my mother that she and my father look into advocating for a neighborhood watch program if there is not one already, as well as working with the local neighborhood council or their city council district office to ensure the well being of their neighborhood. Should you hear of more crimes in that area, I strongly advocate that police cars perform periodic drive-throughs on top of residences' efforts to maintain the well being of their communities.

Sincerely,
Gerlie Collado
Thomas Edison High School - Class of 1997
Stockton resident - 15 years


I took the liberty of copying their council district office, as well as one of my dingbat brothers who hasn't taught my mom how to use the freakin' computer! I promised mama I would teach her basics as long as she learned how to check her voicemail on her cellphone. No voicemail, no internet training. :-)

The Hunt

PREPARATIONS

Time to feed one of my cravings......shoes!!! I haven't purchased any cute ones in a while!!! I can't even remember the last time I got new shoes! When these cravings hit, you just have to satisfy them or it's going to start eating at you! Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Now find the right ones, that's the fun of the hunt! Anyone who can locate these gets a prize!

THE PRIZE


WOOHOO! Found them in tan in a random store AND they were on sale! My day was made! :-)

Babies solve everything

Too many complaints and negative energy right now...but baby made me feel better.

F*$%in' Flips!!!

I HATE CRAB MENTALITY!!!! Learn to be freakin' supportive, damnit! Oh...are you feeling neglected...ohh...let me baby you so you can feel better about yourself! Get over it already, f*$%ers!!!

It's coming...

Ah...it's that time of year again and things are moving as swiftly as they should. There are always suprises along the way but for some reason, FPAC is way too blessed for bad things to weigh it down. It was really hard for me to completely stay away so I'm playing a very very minor role. At least I hope I am. :-) So it can get a bit hectic, but damnit, I love this stuff!!! AND there is hope that changes are a good thing!

Successes

A clear example of what you can do when you focus. Unbeknownst to many, my Joe-y was so scared getting on a rink that was just a little larger than the living room in his house, especially since he's never really ice skated. I've always believed he could do anything and this is proof. He's starting to embark on some new things in his life and I have full confidence that everything he has worked for will completely pay off. He's still kind of close to the wall in this picture, though. A kid almost knocked him down as he was approaching the turn. ahahaha!

It was The Monster's birthday last weekend. I was kind of bummed I missed it...kind of bummed I missed another family get-together...just feeling a bit homesick.

Think again!

For a while, this summer was looking to be a somewhat relaxed one. I figured with some things taken off my plate, I'd be able to relax and take in the sites more often than not...right...spoke way too soon! Is this really something that I have to accept about my life...moving from one project to another? There has to be an end sooner or later, right? But then there's always something that replaces the other. Maybe this is a challenge to simplify my life a little more. Otherwise, I see no opportunity to get my room clean anytime soon! Boo!

Transitioning...still

Yes, I do love my job. I'm learning a ton each day and I'm able to give back in ways I never thought I would.

When I was in my prior position, I had my day job and so many other things going on outside of work. Now I find myself in a position where I'm required to do some of the projects i used to do outside of my job and find myself with a little more free time than I thought...well, in between projects, that is. So what am I left with now?

I've been told that my true nature leads me to constantly look for new things to do aside from my daily grind. I think that sums up the majority of my life. So I think it's just a matter of figuring out other things I can spend my time doing, aside from the "community projects" I've been invovled with for the past year or two. Transitions are good, right? Maybe this is a good time to start focusing on me again.

I'm doing...

I'm enjoying where I am a lot more than where i was a five months ago.
I'm not working a 9 to 5 job.
I'm working for a community I really care about.
I get to throw fabulous events for big and small funders/supporters.
I get to check out other events that affiliate groups throw and meet all sorts of interesting people.
I'm healping to increase the perpetuity of one Pilipino organization.
It's all about the money but all for the good reasons.

What if I can be more effective if I wasn't an official member of one group?
Would it be the same case if I were to be with another ethnic organization?
How affective do I really want to be?
What kind of affects do I want to instill in my community?

I can't change the world on my own. I don't know why that thought ever entered my mind...wishful thinking...maybe.

It's a job...it's a career? Still thinking. It'll definitely develop into something, that's for certain.

Starting off the week...

How is it that pain becomes more intensified as we get older...more so with women, I guess?

And how is it that the first phone call I get this freakin' morning comes with a huge dose of attitude and rudeness even if it's not my fault!?! MF!

Trying to stay positive...the long weekend will definitely not come too soon!

trying to fight off emotional meltdown...damn these freakin' hormones!

i just want to crawl into a little hole and sleep until tomorrow...

Spirituality and Freedom

To the so-called progressive freedom fighters out there who do not feel that religion should not play a big role in fighting for freedom, I have two words for them - liberation theology.

For the less materially blessed - of necessities and wants, those who really have nothing as strong as their spirituality to make it through; may the blessings of The Creator shine upon you always. Nothing will ever be as strong as your faith and no one can examine it better than you.

Fanaticism kills.

Ano ba?

An LA hip hop group just put out a new cd which contains a Tagalog song penned from one of their members, I'm sure. It's not the most content driven Tagalog track. But I see it's significant purpose of helping to open doors for other Pinoy artists to introduce their songs to the masses and show how enlightening a Tagalog rap can be other than talking about eating adobo and wanting to be friends instead of getting married. Overall, the cd is full of dance beats which will more than likely be played out at all the clubs this summer.

My first question, where did all the content go? Did their meaningful lyrics go out the door the minute they finished recording the track about getting retarded and took on a female member?

This is one of my favorite hip hop groups. They have been originals throughout their entire career. What kills me the most is their Tagalog track was released in the Philippines with a special promo disc containing a video shot with a bunch of booties shakin' everywhere, as I'm told. It just seems that they have started to fall into really being in the limelight and producing tracks that those who are not as interested in content would definitely purchase, aka, the masses. If that's really the case, sige. I support them but don't think I'll be polluting my ears with a ton of their tunes any time soon. Please don't get too retarded.

Miffed

if there is nothing in your power to change something, why try?!

What happened?

Did I just attempt to apply for a position and just get turned down for it? "No thanks, but I'm sure we'll be able to do more with you in the future." I sincerely hope so. Luckily, this is a good friend and there are ways of getting around this one. Oh yes, he will give in.

Subservience

not a good feeling...not a good feeling at all.

The Force Explained

Ok...not going to ruin it so no need to panic. With all the hoopla going around about this damn epic, you'd think that the characters and events in this movie were real. Lucas has done a tremendous job of continuing one of his greatest professional creations and, bottom line, make more money for all. Don't mean to sound cynical but that's pretty much what it usually boils down to.

In regards to the movie...it was pretty damn good. Tons of eye candy most of the time but spectacular scenes, none the less. The work that went into creating this movie should and cannot be discounted at all. In all seriousness though, people...it's just a movie. There's no need to go on and on about differences in story line, perceptions on character's personalities and the like. Another bottom line, it's just a movie, a simple story that has many parts. The success of the epic can only be attributed to the populus who continue to treat the story lines and characters as real beings. Instead, I must urge that we take the meanings of the stories more seriously than the literal depictions of the characters and events.

Lesson 1
The idea of equalities always existing in the universe has existed throughout the centuries.

Lesson 2
No matter how hard we try, escaping our destiny can sometimes be a fleeting attempt. Thus, other inevitable events are set to follow with whatever decisions and actions we undertake.

Lesson 3
Releasing all attachments to material things - objects and beings, really is a good thing, indeed. Helps you keep your focus on the non-tangible things.

Lesson 4
No matter what the challenge, focus on the task at hand in order to reach your overall goal. Release all distractions that may come from it and keep on truckin'.

Lesson 5
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, except when they try to knock off a limb with a big ass laser thing.

Lesson 3
Get to a busy ass theater at least 30 mins. before starting to allow yourself plenty of time to hit the concession stand.

Lesson 4
Go to a theater that has reserved seating if you're going to watch something that the entire world has been waiting for. Thank The Almighty for Arc(h)light!

Damn my new found moroccan mint tea obsession! I should've drank this hours ago! Must find other things to tire my mind now. Good night!

Summer has begun!

First unofficial pool party of the year! if only more weekends can be like this. Went to another bbq yesterday at one of my girl's place. Took in some sites in El Serreno, behind South Pas, and just before Alhambra. Went to dinner at Shamshiri's with the roomies later on that evening. Checked out a new club Jointz has started in Hollywood on Sunday afternoons. Can't beat the free stuff. Came back home to bbq again with the roomies and some homies. Do we really have to go to work tomorrow?!

Hobby #101

Oh yeah, forgot one more thing. The new project of the moment - growing new plants: basil, rosemary, mint and chocolate mint. The orchids are still growing strong. I let my African Violets run their life. My little vine from college is still growing strong. I supppose I should move that into a new plant holder sometime soon so it can fill itself out. Maybe I did inheret a green thumb from good old dad. I miss fresh fruits and vegetables. I remember the first time I ate an organic tomatoe, it tasted like the ones I would bite into when I was younger...the ones my mom would buy every Saturday at the farmer's market. Kind of sad. Can't wait to eat some seasonal fruits and vegies from Dad's garden.

Who? Me?

"Every so often the cosmos treats us to a bewitching month, one so special it can only be described as truly breathtaking. Dear Capricorn, precisely this sort of month lies ahead for you. You are a hardworking, ambitious sign, but even you realize from time to time that you need balance."

Nice start to the month, wouldn't you say? It's been about three months since I've transitioned to a new work environment and an all around new work neighborhood. The areas I have worked in are drastically different, down the noise I hear every day come 2 o'clock in the afternoon. From the silence I would hear at my cube, comes the pounding and yelling of little ones excited for another afternoon to paint, internet surf, dance, throw, run, read, talk to their hearts' content. I love the noise. My focus grows as the noise gets louder. I've been told that, in essence, this quality is perfect for one in my new line of work.

So now my work life is in gear. Time to make sure my personal life is just as manageable. I need to get all my projects in line. I've been trying to clean my room in weeks. Seems like this is always the case unless someone special is coming over. I've been this way for ages. I remember being just as busy in high school and my mother yelling at me to clean my room. "But Mom, if I cleaned my room, I would never be able to find anything!" I realize that this would allow me to relax and even think a little more clearly but that's just the way I've always been. Something to work on? Well...yeah. All in due time. I'll kick myself in the ass to get in gear when I feel it's really time to do so. Probably another thing I should think about working on - procrastination. I guess if I really want to be a more productive person, I should certainly pick up the pace a little more.

Starting to ramble...maybe it's time for bed. My eyesight is going a bit. It's starting to get a little more difficult for me to look at the screen. Definitely time for bed before I say something non-coherent.

Truth in History

I was first introduced to Professor Howard Zinn in college through Professor James Taylor's "Race & Ethnic Politics" class. With the many students who had taken Professor Taylor's class, the movement to bring Professor Zinn to campus grew, at least from what I recall. Seeing him speak was one of the few times in my life that I actually felt "starstruck." To see and hear a man who had fought his entire life for labor equality, civil liberties and, of course, social justice, was quite remarkable. It drove my quest to gain more information on how "the system," whether it be capitalism, the great US democratic system, or globalism, can be learned from and changed from within. Being introduced to Professor Zinn and to the concept that justice, in essence, is not always fair, solidifed my own fight for equality.

These types of people are my heros, those who tell the truth about life, about people's experiences, particularly those who have been shun from the dominant society for way too long.

My father was the first. Throughout my lifetime, he has always reminded me of the significance of those who are not always at the top of the economic ladder. Those who toil to bring food from the ground to our tables. Those who perform the most repetitive of jobs simply to ensure that their families and themselves will live as equally as those who have postions that require a bit more grey matter exercise.

To those who continue to speak the truth and fight for it, thank you for your honesty, thank you for your bravery and thank you for your verocity. I pray that you will never lose yourself in the movement or "the system."

On the Contrary

Ain't that about a bitch! I heard praises all morning long about the great event that was put on last weekend that I worked on. Then I get a nice slap in the face to inform me that not everyone was happy. Ah well...you just have to love how much drama people like to raise, especially those who like to do it often, particularly when it comes to raising awareness of a particular person's power. I can't help to feel a little relief towards the potential shift in power that could happen in the next few weeks. Man, that would be the simple, silent and sweet top to this whole situation.

KCRW always makes me feel better. Sabor a Mi, sung by Los Lobos just started. This song always makes me envision a cool summer night, sitting among the trees, reminiscing about some past love, hearing children play in the neighborhood, and just enjoying the life that the Almighty has given me.

A Dead Tired High

It's done...my first one! What a ride! I'm so freakin' tired but I was amazed that I still had the energy to go out with George and Elson afterwards to get some drinks. I was such on a high of just knowing that everything was pretty much taken care of and whatever happened that we couldn't control tonight just happened.

Some things to keep in mind next time I have another big event -

1. Make sure to get enough food and rest.
2. Delegate and empower as much people as possible to help with various tasks!
3. Know people's limits and your own.
4. Set expectations from the very beginning.
5. Hydrate as much as possible while on the job.
6. Try to enjoy the event a little more than just walking in and out to just check on the order of the program.

I'm done.

2 more days!

I CANNOT WAIT! I'm sleeping in on Sunday! We might end up meeting financial goals! Hopefully the silent auction will get us up there. I'm so freakin' exhausted but damnit, I do thrive on this mess! I don't like to have to do it all the time but shiiit, when I need to step up to the plate, better get ready 'cause I don't throw down for just anything. All of this hoopla is for increasing the capacity of SIPA to keep progressing. We have three more affordable housing developments in the works. We want to create more youth programming and continue to grow with the community around us. Hell yeah! Yes, I do love my job! So far, so good!

Unfair!?

Unfair?! I've been so busy for the past few weeks. I've hardly had time to do my laundry, much less cook for myself. I broke down the other weekend after I spent close to 5 hours at my house all week long because of work and sleeping elsewhere. Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with the one person in my life whome I thought would understand me as much as my girlfriends. Was I expecting too much again? How come I always have to be the one to ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling? How come I'm the one who usually initates the check-ins? AND, to top it off, I have to pull stuff out of him most of the time! What the hell is going on? For the first time, I'm finally fine with my professional life but it feels like things outside of it are in some sort of transition. I haven't been inspired to cook anything in such a long time. I want to do something with my room to rearrange or something but I don't know what. I want to do something different in the dining room but I don't know what. I haven't sketched anything in such a long time. What the hell kind of phase is this?!

Gray Matter Exercise

Will someone please dig me out of the drab intellectual hole I feel like I've been in for ages? The best thing about this is that I can't even figure out what I'm in the mood for. The last movie i saw in the theaters was Bride and Prejudice . It was such a smart and cheeky movie...definite chick flick and a I know a few boy toys who would love it!

I haven't even cooked in so long! I haven't felt very inspired. I miss the farmers' market I used to go to regularly. I need to make more of a point to go every Thursday in Chinatown or in Northridge. Inspritation...I can't do weekly trips to Trader Joe's, especially when I know I can pick up fresh produce a bit cheaper elsewhere.

Inspirition...inspiration...inspiration...where to find it...where to find it...where to find it.

Say it isn't so!

Have I really gotten too old for going out? I've just noticed lately that I don't have patience for all these stupid, ritzy, ditzy clubs. How many times do you go to the same damn place and go through the same damn routine...get your fit right, get your hair tight...blah blah blah. Have I really gotten that spoiled to just stick to clubs or night-outs where my friends and I have rented out a club/restaurant or at least a portion of it to just chill? Have I really gotten into the habit of extending so much energy during the day that I can't even fathom doing much in the evenings except chill out on my bed with a nice book or scroll through internet babble? Ummmm...maybe it's a phase...

Daily Download

What the hell am I feeling right now? Work has been kicking my butt and tomorrow will be another day. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS FREAKIN' EVENT IS OVER!! I completely asked for it. Growing pains...growing pains...growing pains. Man, it's been rough.

Came from a FAN mixer tonight. Not sure what to think about that group at this point. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. Maybe it's just the month. Only two board members were there tonight, minus the two advisors. I haven't been in the mood to network with anyone during the past few mixers. Someone put it quite well tonight - "I don't want to go to those things anymore. It's the same damn thing all the freakin' time. Do something different already!" EXACTLY! Do I still have hope for that group?...yes. Will it stand the test of time and get fully running on its own?...who knows? But just like anything, if people will for something, then it will happen.

The one thing I was impressed with tonight were the three people I met as I was walking out the door from the mixer. They were three men who started a record label in New York and have been in LA for the past year or so trying to push their music into the scene on the West Coast. All three were Pilipino and had mentioned that they were currently working with UCLA's Samahang on something. Taking into consideration that my perception of Samahang isn't too positive at this point, I think it's high time to introduce these boys to other, more general community organizations. I was impressed by their candor and their willingness to network with a whole load of different people. I immediately introduced them to one of the FAN board members and they took it from there. Good luck, Q.

After the whole program for this evening and having someone whine in my ear for most of the night, I'm just completely exhausted. I got on the computer with the intention of doing some work but I'm just not feeling it right now. As I said earlier, tomorrow is another day.

Breathing

Today was a damn hard day. I feel like I got trampled on left and right and tomorrow will be another day. It's amazing that I actually like what I'm doing. Growing pains...must be patient with myself and must continue to have a little more foresight.

Phases

For the first time in a long time, i can honestly say I'm in a state of peace. I was always looking for something more the entire time I was at Kaplan. I started to volunteer with other organizations to find out what I really wanted to do and through all of that, here I am, working with one of the groups I had volunteered with in the past. I am an advisor of a group that i was completely skeptical about joining to begin with. I have met the majority of my friends through the volunteer projects and organizations I have participated in over the past few years. Go figure. We'll see how long this phase lasts. But one thing's for sure...I'm enjoying every minute.

Let's go out!

Last night was the first time I have gotten drunk in such a long time! Had fun with some of my girls at Claudia & James' wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and the weather was perfect. Thank goodness the rain has passed, for now at least. It was the funnest time I've had with my girls in quite some time. I miss going out with Cris! Time to get the Spring/Summer party season started!

Heaven pt. 2

If I could take public transit every day of my life, I would be in heaven! I hate having to take care of my car and I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go! I hate being a slave to my car! I feel like it's a freakin' child - regular checkups, catering to every squeak, drip, noise. I HATE IT! Times like this I wish I was back in the Bay with regular access to mass transit.

Gone are the days I lived near over 5 bus lines that could take me anywhere in the City.
Gone are the days when I'd just hop on a MUNI line to just see different parts of the City when I was broke as hell.
Gone are the days when I'd look down on different parts of the City and figuring out how to get there by whicheve MUNI line was the closest.
Gone are the days when I would hear several different languages from all over the world being spoken next to my ear.
Gone are the days I'd watch that Asian dude walk up and down Market St. with his "Impeach Clinton, Bush, Nixon, Eisenhower, Grant" sign with his funky looking glasses and the same, curiously looking, grey suit with pant legs that ended just above his ankle.
Gone are the days I'd trudge into class late because I'd refuse to walk up the damn hill during morning rush hour because the minute I'd start, halfway through, a freakin' Balboa limited would drive past me and I'd be no where near a damn bus stop!
Gone are the days I used to get my monthly MUNI paid for by the company I was working for or get it included in my student activity fee!
Gone are the days when I used to laugh at all the people waiting in that long ass line for the cable car at the end of Powell and Market as I merrilly went my way on the Fulton or the Hayes or the F line.
Gone are the days when I took the MUNI from the fog-stricken Richmond and look towards Downtown, where the sun was needlessly bathing towering buildings so the people below could get no tan what so ever!
Gone are the days when I'd wait for the 33 Ghost to take me to our weekly family dinners with a side of Seinfeld.
Gone are the days when I'd wonder what kinds of characters would be joining me on my regular rides.
Gone are the days when I'd take the 33 Geary with my duffel bag full of laundry for the weekend to the Bart Station on Market and Powell so I could go home for the weekend to get some lovin' from my momma and jokes from my dad.
Gone are the days when I'd find new places to visit in the City just by randomly taking a new line to get to some of my usual spots.
Gone are the days when my girls and I, in our short, sexy skirts, and heels, would take the Fulton or the Hayes to get to Bahia for a night of samba, cumbia, salsa, reggae and maybe some hip hop if the stupid dj was smart and decided to spin some freestyle.
Gone are the days when I'd wait in anticipation to go to a new food venue to savor on some deletable dishes, usually accompanied by great friends.
Gone are the days I'd watch the sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge and Marin from that cool spot at Ft. Mason.

Man, I miss the City by the Bay. Calgone...take me to San Francisco! I can never have enough time there!

But, alas...I've made my bed. I've decided to live here, where EVERYONE is a slave to their vehicles. I always wonder how long it's going to take until I get ridiculously weary of traffic-infested SoCal.

Pac Plunder

Last weekend was the Pacquio vs. Morales boxing match. It was disaster in the making.

I knew by the second round it wasn't going to be a good fight for Pacquio aka "The Pacman," as so lovingly referred to by his fellow countrymen...which brings me to my bigger point. Pacquio fell...hard.

After his previous fight against Barreros, which was proclaimed a draw, many believed he should have been the rightful victor, including myself. He went back to the Philippines shortly after to do some press events. He received awards here and there, recognition from Malacanang, herself, as well as a few large sums of pesos, I'm sure. He comes back to the States and does a few more press events and gains a bit more recognition. All the while, I couldn't help to think he should've been spending more time in the gym than revelling in all the praises of his countrymen. And there's the rub.

For some reason, in the Pilipino community, we love to create idols that supposedly represent all of us. Maybe it goes back to the years of colonization and the suppressed mentalities we, as a people, have cultivated in ourselves. But time and time again, we tend to raise certain invididuals to heights that they never thought they would go. When the time comes for them to get down to business, either their heads are too big for their own good, or the mass' expectations are way too high for the idol's own good.

Every round Pacquio fought was ended with a big grin on his face. In no way am I discounting the work he did in the ring but maybe he should have paid more attention to his fighting than his dancing. It was evident by the people I was watching the match with that the almight Pacman was not guarding the other half of his body when he was hitting with the opposing side. Not sure what his energy level was towards the end of the match but he would hit Morales and then would not follow with stronger blows. Um...I don't watch boxing that much but I would think that a fighter that gains a second of advantage over their opposition would aim for keeping that advantage.

In any case, I can't help to feel as if Pacquio fell into the trap of getting his ego raised to heights that it should never have reached. He's a good fighter, confirmed by many friends who watch and understand boxing more than I. Let's hope he learned his lesson this time around and will spend more time in the gym than signing autographs and taking pictures.

Friendster Vacuum

Damn Friendster...I turned my computer on tonight specifically to do some work and I got sucked into the Friendster trap. Damn these vices! i haven't been on that website in ages and I got hooked trying to find some peeps. Ah well. Time for bed...my mind can't think anymore.

Crown me!

I've developed a greater appreciation for keeping my teeth clean and healthy. I went in to get a new crown on one of my teeth today. All the years of loving sweets have started to catch up to me. I better watch it or I may develop a minor condition of diabetes like my father. Damn my family for letting me have anything I wanted as a child, including sugar on my rice! I'd like to award my father for the grand prize of helping me develop my sweet teeth. Without him, my love for desserts would not be as potent. He still makes the best kusinta in the world!

Another reason to love LaLa Land

Los Angeles Council Passes Anti-Sweatshop Ordinance

Alright folks, time to get other ports of entry in this damn nation to follow suit.

Yoga by Nike

Seems like a contradiction, doesn't it? A practice that promotes peace and unity of mind, body and community has been embraced by one of the largest mulitinational companies who is notorious for human rights abuses in their sweatshops in numerous developing countries. Where do we draw the line? For more information on the anti-sweatship Nike campaign, check out GlobalExchange.com.

Denial

After a few months of denying myself anything Filipino, I have a weekend filled with nothing but Pinoy things.

Instead of taking a walk around the neighborhood today, Lola's Boy, Katscratches and I went for a walk around the Island Pacific Market Plaza in Panorama City, aka Daly City #2. As Lola's Boy was picking up Pinoy newspapers, I noticed a big poster in Goldilocks promoting a visit from Manny Pacquio, a feather weight champion boxer who will be fighting Morales, a Mexican boxer in Vegas during Vanessa's Wedding. So then and there, it was decided that we were going to come back later in the afternoon to see if we could take pictures with him, as well as have a few of our friends come out and revel in their Pinoy-ness by having their pictures taken with him. Bambu & Kiwi are apparently huge fans of Pacquio's, aka Pacman. (Not sure how formidable of a nickname that is but he's Pinoy...can't really say much else about that.)

After succumbing to the food coma brought on by lunch at Pinoy Pinay and a few hours of random house chores, we get back to Goldilocks just as Pacquio was walking out the door. I walked into the restaurant trying to look for Bambu and Kiwi but ended up losing Joe in the process. Considering his 6"1' frame, it wasn't hard to find him. This fool ended up following the crowd that was surrounding Pacquio and low and behold, Bambu & Kiwi were also part of that crowd, starting to shout out Pacquio's name. Everyone was taking pictures of him. My lovely, smart, dearest decides to get behind Pacquio while Bambu & Kiwi were taking pictures from the front. This was the first time I've ever seen Joe so star struck. Bambu & Kiwi, whom I have seen pretty cool and collected were like little school girls trying to get a hold of Pacquio's hand. AHAHAHAH! They were sooo cute! Kat, Cheryl and I were laughing hysterically at the whole thing. Lola's Boy managed to get close enough to the car so that he could bump fists with the Golden Fighter, himself. Katscratches and I were talking about taking pictures with Pacquio with signs that said, "Hi, Dad." Ah well...next time. So I don't get star struck all the time but hell, if all the people I'm with are getting into it, I guess I'll join in a little bit.

Later in the evening, we all trekked down to Carson City to attend a conference on a Philippine Studies Program, essentially an immersion program to help teach people Tagalog and be exposed to different aspects of Philippine life. I forgot we were going to a college. I also forgot that it was the first time this conference was happening. First of all, if their attempt was to get people who have never been to the program to attend it, the format needed great improvement. Joe was going to go to some of the workshops, but many of them and the attendants consisted of individuals who had already gone through the program. Big no-no when you're trying to attract people who have never been through the program or have had little to no exposure to it. Why would I want to go to an event where most people know each other already and then go to a variety show where comments are made that pertain only to the people who have gone through the program? I was willing to keep an open mind about this whole thing, considering I hadn't attended any of the workshops.

As I was sitting through the variety show, I kept thinking how we were all a product of our parents' generation. There always has to be some kind of performance related event attached to some kind of gathering, whether it be academic or not. Go figure. Each performance in the beginning was drama this, drama that. Most of the songs that were sung were slow ballads either about losing one's love or having love....da...dada...dada...dada. And, in true progressive fashion, out came the poetry readings. Lola's Boy and I joke with each other all the time when we sit through these things. We've seen so many of them, there are similar elements that are prevalent in many readings. There always has to be some kind of description of being in darkness and walking into the light, experiencing an awakening of some sort or feeling water on someone's face, washing away some kind of torment. The intonations of the voice are always the same, having that beat that sounds like many people I've heard perform live poetry. And how come I've heard hella poems about a parent sacrificing their life for their child and laying the responsiblity of carrying on "the struggles" to the child after the parent has passed. Damn those are hard challenges to take on, especially being told as a child!? I wonder what children think when they're told that. At that point, I'm sure they don't know the difference between their shoes or a new toy. All I'm saying is that there are so many similar themes that have been used in so many poems I've heard. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that but the way those themes are approached needs to be super unique for me to stand up and give a mighty ovation. I think it's just more respectable to the art that way. Absolutely no offense is meant to those who are reading this and perform poetry. I love all of you. I just think that sometimes we all get a little carried away with the emotions and don't always see how cliche our lines and themes are. I've been a victim of it, too so don't start all that head rollin'. Keep doing your thing, though because goodness knows there are way more people out there who can write better than I can.

Native Gunz were the feature of the evening, I think. Those guys are great! Why don't they have a record deal yet? Ha! It was such a stark comparison to seeing them on stage and seeing them go gaga over Pacquio. Those guys tear it up everytime they take center stage, though. I can't really say much else for their performance except that they were freakin' awesome! Thanks for letting me be a groupie for the night!

To top off our night. we decided to catch some bites at the Maynila restaruant in Carson. We were in Daly City #3, we might as well check out the digs. First we park in a lot that has a huge mural that looked like it was created by Eliseo Silva and then we hear loud ass music blasting from the restaruant. Apparently this place is open until 2am for karaoke. I was just hoping the kitchen was still open. Afte a few minutes, I knew where I was. I felt like I was sitting in a roadside restaurant in the Philippines with cold, bare floors, open air seating, and of course, listening to people sing on the karaoke machine. Except down there, I think it's called videoke. No clue as to the reason so don't ask. The food was pretty darn good especially for not having Pinoy food for quite some time. Don't know if I'll ever go back there again but it's good to know where to go when you're starving for some late night snacks.

So that was my all-thing-Pilipino Saturday. On to Sunday!

Trippy Thursday

Today didn't exactly started the way I wanted it to. I woke up way too late and didn't get into the office until 10am. Ooops. Thank goodness traffic wasn't too bad on the 405, well, until I reached the 101/405 junction. Whoever designed that portion of the damn freeway was on some straight crack. It totally needs to be redone but there is so much traffic that goes through there, who knows if they will ever touch it. Besides, all the bougie, nonpublic transit-friendly Westsiders would probably create some kind of legal prevention to stop from revamping the whole freeway. It's one of the worst ones to be on in LA!

After work, I was completely late to my meeting with Arnold and Rex. Sorry guys...I apologize profusely. It was a good meeting, none the less. I'm still trying to get comfortable in my advisor role to FAN . I just want to make sure it really does progress beyond the social part. It'd be great to get to a level where it has a nice mix of the two.

I've been preparing to transition over to SIPA, too. I can't believe how lucky I was to have landed a position with an organization that I really believe in. I'm sure the politics are going to be quite interesting. But you can't work with Pinoys without tsismis.

With the transition, I haven't felt like doing very much with my present position. I need to just organize information that whoever is taking over will need. Not sure how to do that but I'm sure I'll think of something. In the past few days, I've managed to do more organizing of my iPod playlists than anything else. Thanks to Jane for leaving the majority of her tunes in the harddrive! :-) I can't say that I'm coming away from Kaplan with a lot of bitterness...maybe a little bit but that would take too much energy that I could use for something else.

About an hour after I had gotten home tonight, Joe came and picked me up to attend a fashion show Arrian & Diane invited us to. It was in an art gallery in Studio City near Laurel Canyon & Topanga. It was quite interesting hanging out with the higher end arts fartsy crowd. We're more used to the community/grassroots arts fartsy crowd. I don't think either of us were "super fashionable" for the event but I didn't care. I wear what I like whenever I wish. If I'm not in the mood then so be it. I did manage to spot a painting I wanted to purchase. Too bad the pretty canvas was about $14,000. :-( It was a painting of a Flamenco dancer who was standing with one arm in the air and the other turned down towards the floor, each holding a corner of a shawl that she had just flung into the air. I was more enthralled in the movement of the shawl. It had flowers on it and tassles on the end, which added to its fluidity. The dancer looked too perfect, too statuesque, very unrealistic. The only real things on here were her hands. The painter managed to put the detail in her hands, showing how her fingers were tightened to keep the shawl from escaping them. The dress was the traditional red, with the ruffles at the bottom. The dancers face was flawless, like magazine pictures of models that have been Photoshop-ed. I'm not so sure the point of the painting showed through. I wasn't sure if the painter was emphasizing the dancer's stance, the movement of the shawl or her fingers. But then again, art is a person's perception. So I'm just going to continue to perceive my own thoughts.

We decided to go check out the hip hop "club" that was happening in Northridge afterwards, yes Northridge. It ended up being at some seedy looking joint on Parthenia and Nordhoff. Um...no. We didn't even dare go in. I saw a ton of rice rockets (yes, I do have to use the phrase...sorry to all those who think it's politically incorrect) and decided against getting out of the car. We could hear the music bumping from the place but wasn't too impressed. It was back home after that.

So now I'm sitting here trying to get my thoughts out and the time is flying. Thank goodness it's Friday. I've been waiting for the weekend since Monday. Think I'll play sick on Monday. :-)

Down with technology! - Pt. 2

What the hell was Apple thinking releasing their damn version of Itunes! I've been trying to connect my Ipod to my computer all day and each time Itunes freezes as it tries to recognize the freakin' ipod and I have to restart my damn computer. My poor baby has been restarted so many damn times today. I went on Apple's website to see if there are any solutions that have been posted by Apple Support. How convenient that the one they posted doesn't work for all users! I even went on some of the forums on Apple's site and found that I wasn't the only one having the same problem with the Itunes update. I think I'll just inundate Apple's feedback messages until they send out a correction for the damn problem. Mofos!

Another Great Has Passed

Just found out that Ossie Davis passed away earlier this month. He and his wife were deeply involved with civil rights issues aside from their acting careers. He was one of the few actors that I really admire for his work on and off the screen. May his soul continue to live on and may his memory continue to inspire all to fight for equality and social justice.

A weekend in the NW

My family is absolutely nuts! Take away the parentals and it get's even crazier! Despite the freezing temperatures, it was a wonderful weekend in the NW.

We got in a few days early and stayed with Dominique. It wasn't as cold as I had expected when we first got there. For some reason, Joe was still stuck in SoCal mode and decided not to take a coat with him when we went out after we had arrived at Dom's. This boy has got to stop thinking it's supposed to feel like SoCal weather everywhere he goes. He and I went touring around the university district and checked out UW. We were also able to walk around the International District, Pike's Market, the retail core and the Seattle Center. I have to say, the Space Needle is completely overrated. I refused to pay $12 to go up to the observatory, take a look at Seattle and Canada, probably for a good 15 min. and then come back down....um...no!

Had a little moment at the Wing Luke Museum. I didn't think I was going to be as moved as I was. There was an exhibit of the Japanese internment camps where one was able to walk through a small version of a bunk. The entire time I kept thinking how cruel we, as a society, can be. We let our fears take over and all our logic goes out the windows. And for those in places of power, sometimes they know they can get away with anything if they exploit their influence on people's fears.

I think I could spend two years there if I were accepted into UW's Urban Planning graduate program. The advisor I met with was pretty helpful and gave some insight to other programs available on the West Coast. It's a relatively small program so I wouldn't have to worry about getting lost in the numbers. There was this one building near their quad that looked like it was used as a cathedral at one point. It was like you were looking at a picture and trying to decide what didn't fit in the view.

It was over after we got together with il familia. The festivities began with being awestruck by Raster's cross-eyes or lazy eyes, whichever way you want to see it. HA! Poor cat...we were making fun of her all weekend. She was pretty chill and is my current desktop picture. She was probably the only sober one out of all of us the entire weekend.


Here's a view from the Bunnuelos Ranch.


Here's Raster in all her disco glory.

The party on Saturday was supposed to be a costume one. I had been too busy all week to think of one so one of my cousins had the idea of putting me in one of the sari's she had purchased on one of her trips. Though I enjoyed wearing something so beautiful for a bit, I kind of felt odd wearing it, especially since she and I were somewhat limited in our knowledge of how to wrap it. After a few more people showed up with saris, it was time for me to take it off. I just felt really odd wearing it. It was almost as if I was exotifying the practice of it. I know it's similar to when non-Pinoys wear barong tagalogs and such so I go back and forth with this thought.







The whole trip was an eating fest. I hadn't realized how much my cocousins and I had become such foodies. On Sunday, we had a Japanese spread that riveled any dinner I've had at a Japanese restaurant.



That there on the top left of the picture is my favorite yaki dish in the world - unagi! Manong Bong & John were awesome! And we continued to talk about food even after we sat down for the meal. The tapas dishes at the party were pretty damn good, too! We'd revert to talking about things that happened the last time we all got together to have a party at the Bunnuelos Ranch. All our parents kept bugging us because they didn't think there was enough food for everyone. Just goes to show that we can have our own successful parties our own way.

We topped off the trip with the Holy Grail....never again!





All came to an end as Manang Juzen drove me to the airport on Monday afternoon. It was an amazing flight into San Francisco. I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing the vistas of that city. It was absolutely amazing. There were billowing clouds sitting on top of The City and was completely clear as we touched down at SFO. Figures it would be clear south of The city. I remembered how much I despised the cloud-cover. Ah...part of The City's charm.

In retrospect, it was one of the best weekend I had spent with my family for quite some time. It didn't even compare to Christmas. Can't wait to get together with those fools again.

F*@kin' USF!

My lovely friend, Ev, calls me last night and informs me that USF has ended all of the recognition ceremonies for the students of color. What the hell?! So the Department of Student Activities wants to make everyone feel as if they are "equal," huh?! Apparently, USF has grown more diverse, which in turn, is producing more alumni of color. Makes sense? Sure does to me! Let's see how they feel when alumni of color start pulling our their funds and participation if this decision is irrevocable. Time to start doing some snooping.

Self Realizations

I like participating in interviews. I always learn something new about myself whenever I do one. Last night was the first night that I felt like I solidified my reason for my desire to work with the community. It stems from the fact that I was raised with the idea of having to take care of my younger siblings and basically all of those who are younger than me. This idea has extended throughout my entire life. Another major drive is the fact that i am a woman of color and it took quite some time to find my own voice and become comfortable with my own identity. To realize that my role in society is significant - regardless of my social status, ethnically or financially and being able to do my part in continuing organizations and facets in society that will foster others to find their own voices and solidify their personal identities is a powerful thing. This is my greatest passion.

Down with technology!

I hate this stupid ipod! I spent the majority of my day yesterday freakin' uploading songs onto it amidst a bunch of cleaning I was doing! All that time and come to find that I was uploading songs in a format that was taking up more freakin' memory than needed! This is a prime example of how freakin' technology can complicate your damn life! And now there's this damn limewire hookup that I can't get out of my damn playlist and I can't find the damn source on my freakin' harddrive! MF! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Is this how it's supposed to work?

I've always told myself that I would never grow too dependent on people to the point where I cannot do things on my own. When you are on the verge of being able to share your life with someone else, where do you draw the line?

I was dissapointed tonight because he wasn't going to join us for dinner. I hadn't seen him all day and I was kind of looking forward to it. Have I really grown this needy, this dependent? We spent the majority of the day yesterday. He finally let me learn how to drive his car and watched a few movies after we had dinner. Was this not enough time spent for the weekend? Was this not enough time spent for the week? How do I measure enough being enough? So, lf course, this got me thinking. How much of my time do I really want to compromise for him?

There's been so many things I've wanted to get done lately. I finally was able to purge my files today and got rid of a ton of old bills and other old documents that have been lying around for way too long. On top of that, I made a list of a bunch of other tasks I want to accomplish around the house. A few more weekends like this and my room will actually be spotless. Everytime he comes over, I feel like I have to make use of my time by myself so I can get a few things done before he comes over so we can actually hang out. Is this how it's supposed to work? Is this how it's going to be forever?

I've wanted to do a few more things to just help me be a happier and more positive person. For instance, I really want to get in the habit of making time to read more books. I figured this would be a good activity to do together and still be productive individually. So a week or so ago, I suggested that Sunday be a reading day unless other things came up. This idea hasn't really panned out too well. I want to do more walking around our neighborhood, especially when it's nice and sunny. Most of the time I've suggested this, my idea has been knocked down. I don't even mind if we go out in the evening! I feel safe doing so, especially if I have someone else with them. As the sun is staying out longer hours, I want to try to do more things outdoors. So there are many things that I'd like to do and, being the super multitasker that I am, I try to incorporate him so we can share some time. Should I even continue to make any more suggestions like the latter two if I've been knocked down a few times already? Damn...might as well do these things by myself!

So how much should I really involve him in my life? Am I being completely over dramatic about this? I think these are valid questions to ask, especially when one wants to continue moving forward in a committed relationship.

And another thing, why the hell does he feel like he always has to make things better when he really can't?! I realize there are times when I am being completely unreasonable and I accept that. Often times, it's just a way to release my frustration. I also know that the only person that can get me out of that frame of mind is me. I have to logically think my way out of whatever bummer of a situation I find myself. And there is nothing in this world anyone else can do to make me change my state of mind, not even him. We've already had a discussion about this. I told him that there are times that he just needs to let me be. JUST LET ME BE, DAMNIT! Have confidence that I know when I'm being unreasonable - at least most of the time. When I think I'm on the borderline, I'll ask for other people's opinions; and that includes him! This is the way I've always been and will most likely continue to be. I like my internal conflicts just the way they are. I think it's perfectly healthy to self-analyze. There are so many facets to my personality. I like exploring all of them in as a part of the process of building a strong character.

So where does this leave me? I'm still awake and a still a bit fuming and his ass is fuckin' snoring off in LA LA land. Serves him right to be reading this tomorrow instead of talking to me first about it. MF!

PS
No discussions will be had regarding this matter at places of employment. This definitely means YOU!

One for the portfolio

Here's an image of my future house:



We found the house in Baldwin Hills after Joe, Elson and I went to the MLK parade last week. I made Joe take a picture of it when he and Elson stopped to take a view of the city. Here's one of the views of the city from Baldwin Hills.



It's a spanish style home with a large window on the left side of the house, a patio in the front, good sized backyard in the back and sits on a small hill. It's adorable. I love the foliage in the front. I'd put a few more flowers and make the foliage a little more tropical but for the most part, it looks perfect. I think it was two stories. If it has wood floors, it's over. :-)

Tourist-ing

One of my favorite buildings in Los Angeles is the Disney Concert Hall. It's this immense, shiny, wavy building that rises from the skyline as you come up the hill on 1st from Historic Filipinotown. Everything about it is gorgeous! The metal panels are laid on top of each other which allows light to be shot through the bottom of the building and through each panel. Since there is no direct light on the building, in th evenings, it looks like it's glowing. It's definitely one of this century's great works of art with great functionality.

The last time Michael came to visit, I took him over there to check out the sites. Here's one of the pictures we took there.



I absolutely adore this picture. It was up against one of the walls in the Concert Hall's garden and the lighting is beautiful. And, yes, my little brother is also absolutely adorable and comes from great genes, if I do say so myself. :-)

Passion #101

Among the many things I'm interested in, food and spirits is definitely two things that I have quite an affinity for. After a late morning start, I turn on KCRW, as I do every morning, and begin to listen to their weekly cooking show, Good Food. I haven't had the opportunity to listen to this show in the past but, man, did this spark up a tremendous amount of creative energy.

One of the topics that were discussed was the insurgence of food blogs in the online community. I remembered one of my long time friends, Les, who added on a magazine idea to his many lists of lifetime goals just recently. And everything just came together! Blogs are free and he and I, combined, can say so many things about food places and experiences we've had in the past and intend to have in the near future. Why not start one of our own? I'm just waiting for his ass to wake up and answer all my freakin' messages.

Diplomacy

There's been all this drama lately about the Filipino American Library's collection being moved to UCLA, West LA College or remaining with SIPA. I can't believe people with the library are actually scoffing at the fact that the public has been making assumptions about why things are happening. If they had put out information to the public about their potential decisions to begin with, no one would have the need to be making assumptions about anything! I've been on a string of emails about this issue and I finally decided to write one of my own summing up the major problem of the situation. I have to say that I've impressed myself at how much I was very diplomatic in this letter.

As a concerned Filipino American community member of Greater Los Angeles, I feel compelled to write this statement on my personal behalf and in response to the numerous emails that have been written about the Filipino American Library’s future and recent events.

I, too, mourn the loss of another historical monument and valuable resource in Historic Filipinotown. As various community factions have devoted some of their energy in contributing to the revitalization of the area, it is disappointing to know that a major resource will be vacating Historic Filipinotown, an area that comprises one of the largest concentration of Filipino Americans in the City of Los Angeles. This, I think, will be a great setback in the economic and cultural redevelopment of Historic Filipinotown.

Over the past few weeks, many messages have been dispersed asking for further information in the form of a community forum or townhall meeting with the Filipino American Library Board in regards to the fate of the library collection. The public’s attempts to gain more clarification on the issue have been futile as hearsay continues to be spread about the Library Board’s final decision on the collection’s fate.

The public’s concern and ownership of the library is natural considering it is a public institution. These sentiments can be likened to the LA Central Library closing or moving. Information regarding such drastic events would naturally be released to the public in the beginning stages of the plans. This would allow the public the opportunity to contribute their ideas for a solution, as well as gain further understanding of the issues pertaining to the situation. In the FilAm Library’s case, no such information was ever shared with the public except for a select number of people.

A press release or FAQ document of some sort that detailed issues concerning the move and FAHI’s final decision would have sufficed. I do not believe paid subscribers or past financial and collection contributors to the library were informed, at the very least. Why were these steps to inform the public and past contributors not taken?

If there was public notice, I am certain the community would have stepped up our involvement in order to maintain the library in its current location. How could the community know how to address the needs of the library without the direction of the library’s leadership?

In a previous email, Ms. Prosy de la Cruz stated, “some folks might be prematurely concluding, without full investigation of what the facts are.” I completely agree because “folks” were never given the opportunity to find out what the exact facts are. So those who have not been privy to meetings with the FAHI Board are left to continue to speculate until the Board exchanges communication with the public. Why has the FAHI Board not yet taken the opportunity to communicate with the public?

Below are questions that have been asked in previous emails (attached below) or from other concerned community members, which could all be addressed in an FAQ or press release, should the Board choose to do
so.
· What does the move of the FiL Am library to UCLA mean? Is this a permanent move?
· Does it mean the Board members have given up control of its management and that they are now relieved of their responsibility to operate/manage it?
· Who controls the Fil Am library now?
· Does UCLA own the Fil Am collection now & that the Filipino Community no longer has a say in library policies & procedures?
· Wasn’t there anyone among those consulted who made an offer to take over the enterprise? Not even a community campaign to save it?
· The move to the UCLA library may have been the best solution from the Board’s perspective, but it is good to hear various grievances now so we can assess the impact/consequences of the move & address them. Is there still a Fil Am library Board member who cares about this?
· It [Fil Am library] was also a venue for a number of activities among Filipinos that enabled them to share their books or gain information, knowledge & education about our community, country of origin, & culture. In that sense, the FIL AM library will be sorely missed. Is there a way we can still bring together Filipinos for similar events at the UCLA library & feel at home?
· What is the main reason the library is being under-used? Was a community education/marketing campaign created to address this matter?
· What kinds of programs has the library initiated to create more public attendance? How successful were these programs? What could have been improved in the process of initiating these programs?

Best regards,
Gerlie Collado

Thanks goes out to Jonathan for forwarding my statement to the entire Board of Directors for the FilAm Library!

roAR!

For some reason, this year started off with a murmer which eventually grew into a roar. There have been drama here in there about different things. Good or bad, all of them have been great reminders of how it really feels to be alive. There are sayings that urge as to live life like we mean it but sometimes we get lost along the way and wonder why we do the things we do every single day of our lives. As a firm believer that there are always reasons to why things happen, I also believe that everything we experience in our lives is just to help improve us to become the beings that we were designed to be. I have so many things to be thankful. I want to continue to give thanks for the life that I lead, for the activities that I have the privelege of performing. I thank the Most High for all of the talents I have been blessed with.

One last time I mention this...I was standing on the House of Blues stage on Sunday...the very stage Prince, Chaka Khan, Jill Scott, Talib Kweli, Gangstarr and many others have stood! Aw yeah!