Weekend with the Fam

Spent the weekend with the Family, my mom's side, to be exact. I didn't grow up with them so times spent with this side are greatly cherished. I love visiting everyone in Los Osos. This is the view of Morro Bay with Morro Rock from Los Osos.

We decided to make a stop in Santa Barbara since we had plenty of time to get up to my familys'. Chris and I parked along Ocean Ave., near Downtown. We parked and took a walk to the pier, hoping to grab a taste of good seafood from one of the places that was featured in an episode of $40 a Day with the overly chipper Rachael Ray. Folks, the fresh seafood at the Santa Barbara Shellfish Company at the end of the pier is no joke. All the prices are super affordable because they always sell the stock for the day. They just have counters to sit at, as well as public tables on the pier so plan accordingly. The crabsalad sandwich was super yummy and my friend was diggin' the calamari sandwich. Their market rate steamed lobster with salad was featured on the show. Market rate means that the price of the lobster is less during peak season (Oct.-Mar.), which also means that it's best to get the lobster then as opposed to any other time of the year. Having gone to school in San Francisco, Chris and I were both glad to be next to the clean ocean again. The sun felt so good on my skin, especially since I spent the last four days indoors, trying to recover from a cold. I just wanted to glab a blanket and sleep in the park until the sun went down and then continue our drive to Los Osos. We went in search of a gelateria on or near State St. after lunch but to no avail. We ended up at the Costco in Goleta to grab a cup of frozen yogurt before we proceeded northward. Thank goodness I remembered the exit! Thanks, UCSB Alums!

The drive along the coast is always breathtaking, rain or shine. You move from one beachside city to another until you curve inland through the mountain tunnel near Vandenberg AFB. Acres of farmland and rolling hills are passed on the drive up to Los Osos. We were tempted to stop at a winery but didn't think of it until we passed the last one in Santa Maria. Oh! Before I forget, if anyone wants to try a winery in Paso Robles, Eos Estate Winery is THE place to go to, especially when you want a great bottle of muscato and muscat canelli, a great dessert wine!

Uncle Andoy, Auntie Linda and Uncle Ray are all farmers. It's wonderful eating there. Not only do they live near the ocean so all the seafood is fresh, but all the vegetables and fruit are also very sweet, crisp and taste the way they used to when I was a kid. Very few experiences compare to being with them...everything about the visit is so down to earth.

My cousin, Ellaine, and I were joking about how her parents had invited the village to her sister's babyshower. The village was truly present yesterday. They helped with all facets of the festivities, down to cooking through the night to ensure that there was plenty of food for everyone at the party. Our families share the same experiences - descending from those who learned to live off the land, living in a 3 bedroom house with a small family in each room during the first years of our lives, growing up with an extended family, calling our parents' comadres and compadres "auntie and uncle" or "lolo and lola" because they looked after us (physically, mentally and spiritually) when our parents couldn't. I see us continuing the same traditions, hoping to extend that feeling of a village to our friends and family members who are not Pilipino. This is, indeed, one of the very many factors that make me feel proud to have been raised the way my brothers and I were. I come from a family of very strong individuals, people who have weathered way too many storms to count.

Everyone is getting older and hopefully a little wiser. My aunts were trying to marry off their sons for some reason. I couldn't help but think that maybe it would be worthwhile for my male cousins to leave home and figure out how to live on their own before they start looking for someone else to be their pseudo-moms. It's one thing to leave home for whatever reason and then come back to get your bearings, with the intention of leaving again. It's certainly another issue of never wanting to leave home until you potentially find "the one." Leaving home or just releasing yourself from your safety net has a ton to do with personal growth. Not being able to find "the one" has a hell of a lot do with that, as well. Questions or implications of marriage and/or children were rampant all weekend, as well. How could they resist with two grandchildren on their way? I think everyone is starting to feel rather aged. They want to see their family blossoming beyond their children. Um...that won't be happening for quite some time so no matter how many questions or implications keep coming, they just keep sliding off my back.

Funny moment #1
I was enthralled with the National Geographic Channel's show, Taboo . The program was about various cultures around the world including insects and spiders and other venomous creatures in their regular diets. I was so into the show that at one point, my mom shoves sinuman (sweet rice steamed in banana leaves) in my face and I jerk back thinking it was something as foreign as what I was watching on the television. That's the last time I'll be watching something like that before I sit down to eat.

Funny moment #2
Of course, the karaoke machine needs to break out at some point during a Pilipino gathering. Aunti Linda went so far as to make a contest out of it. The top three singers received cash prizes. Too bad I was still congested. After the sangria was whipped out and some line dancing started, I would have whipped all of the drunk aunties to an oblivion.

Many thanks to Auntie Amy who let Chris and I crash at their house. People were packed at Uncle Andoy's house. The bathrooms were madhouses and I didn't want to stick around to see what they were going to be like in the morning. Overall, the weekend was a wonderful end to the my ill-stricken week. Can't wait to hang out with the other side of the family come Christmas time.

It's raining, it's pouring and all LA natives think the sky is falling!

The one thing LA natives can't do is drive in the rain. The non LA natives know this and get freaked out so everyone gets all screwy on the roads during showers. This entire area is not built for water. The streets get flooded, the highways get flooded, backyards get flooded, garbage cans get flooded, critters' homes gets flooded. It's big news when it rains down here! All the stations think they should be outside IN the rain when they talk ABOUT the rain!

I'm feeling a little better today. Nasal passages have opened up and I can breathe out of my nose, finally!!! Maybe my sense of taste is back. My nose is still itchy and red. Yes, my only sickness for the year, damnit!

Would going to work for half the day today be overdoing it? I'm not completely sure if my director would like me being there but I know I have some cleaning up to do so I'm going anyway. Besides, I have to close tomorrow night for some event so I won't be going in until around noon or so.

Back to the grind...

the one thing i hate about being sick is losing my sense of taste. and with that goes your sense of smell and the ability to breathe out of your nose. sucks when you're trying to get to sleep. i currently have a bag of used tissue next to my bed...blech. at least i only get sick once a year so this better be the one time this happens! this probably also means that i should really start taking better care of myself, including ending all the excuses of not being able to exercise. a little at time, right...as long as i don't get this sick again, i'm all for it. i feel like i've been a hermit for the past two days. i only went out today because i needed to pick something up from a friend. even then, i felt like i was walking under water because my ears are plugged. i'm having the time of my life right now!

Remembering our Ancestors

Dia de los Muertos, aka Day of the Dead, aka Feast of All Souls just recently passed. It's an indigenous celebration that was passed to The Church by colonized ethnic groups who continued to practice this tradition long after they become christianized. It's a time to remember our ancestors, all of the struggles they endured in their lifetime and remembering that we stand on their victorious shoulders.

I was completely amazed at the traditions of this celebration when I was in the Philippines in 2003. I grew up knowing very little about this tradition. As far as I knew, you're supposed to build altars to your ancestors during special occassions and place the same food and beverages on the altar as that which the entire party would be eating. In the Philippines, not only was food placed on altars but an all out party was hoppin' at the cemetary. If it hadn't rained the night before, I'm sure they would have had karaoke machines bumpin' until sundown. Family members from afar came home for the occassion to help clean the debris on ancestral gravesites, decorate them, light candles in their ancestors' memories and take time to truly remember them.



My lovely friends introduced me to Dia de los Muertos in college. It was so similar to Pilipino traditions, it was not hard to embrace it. Besides, with all the pasteles y decoraciones hermosas, who could resist?

To my dearest Lola, Lolo and Uncle Gimo, thank you for your strong spirits. Your loving memories lives on in me and inspires me everyday of my life. Lola, you inspire me to be as great of a woman as you were in your lifetime. My most vivid memories of the Philippines are of you. Lolo, you inspire me to seek the truth in all that I do. Uncle Gimo, you remind me to live life to it's fullest and find the silver lining in everything. I miss all of you dearly but I know you're always with me and will always be there when I need a kick in the ass to keep going. I promise to share the gifts you've given to me to others I encounter in my lifetime.

I'm totally bummed that I can't travel right now, at least not as extensively as I want. I kind of feel like just isolating myself from everyone else so I don't have to feel envious of other people's whereabouts. Many factors come into play as to why I can't go very far - money, time, money, time, money.

At this point, I would be completely satisfied with being able to just relax and take a little break from work. I've been working my ass off this past month. All for the greater good but god damn it...it hurts sometimes. And to top it off, my mind has gotten so used to thinking very quickly and shooting off in different directions at one time that when it is time to just chill out, it takes a while for me to get into that mindset and the next thing I know it, it's time to go to work again.

I try to stay away from discussions about the area I work and/or any issues pertaining to it. But I've found that when opportunities arise, you gotta take advantage of it...or do you? I've really tried to stay concious about dividing my personal time with work but it really does get to you after you spend more of your time at work and find yourself with less personal time as usual.

I have the entire week of Christmas off. It seems so far away. I haven't seen my family in about a month or so, not since my parents came down here to move my brother into school. He comes around whenever he can but I think I particularly miss my cousins. Those bastards went to the big sumo convention in Vegas last month. V is getting bigger by the day, I'm sure and I have yet to see her. I haven't been to San Francisco in months. I miss my friends...I miss being with people who just know me, the ones who need no explanation of how I feel or what I'm feeling...they just know. Even planning time to see them feels like additional effort I can hardly extend right now.

Desire...wanting to roll into a ball and wait for the new year to come.

Erwin Federizo, one of my favorite visual artists right now, did this



and this




I love his style! I even ended up purchasing a print from him at FPAC this year. His designs are very fluid and historical in context. He had this great graphic of halo halo which I'm told is also in his kitchen at home. The artists that stand out to me have distinct touches to their work. If I like artists' work enough, I should be able to see or hear their work and pinpoint exactly who created it.

Erwin will be designing ads for Addidas and other big accounts for an ad agency in The City for the next month. Congrats to him! If he ever starts his own business again, I'm soo going to advocate for people to work with him!

My Hero & Inspiration

Blank Man, the ghetto fabulus hero to save the day!

just when i thought i was going to regulate my sleeping, exercising and working patterns...damnit...had a long talk with one of my roomies...life's challenges are what they are and definitely make you feel alive!

Maybe I'm not understanding something but how can one be working on a political campaign but not be fully engaged in the process by not being a registered voter? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? The rules can't be changed if you don't play the game first...right?

Ok...another random story...

This article should have been titled, "Outlawing Magic."
Before you build anything, shouldn't you automatically think to check with The City, especially when the safety of a child is involved? "Outlawing Magic?!" COME ON!


Not in My Neighbor's Backyard
By Martha Groves
Times Staff Writer

October 26, 2005

The mansionization battle rustling the leaves of North Barrington Avenue is something new even for Brentwood.

It's a dispute not over a 12,000-square-foot neo-Tudor monster or a towering modernist cube, but over a backyard treehouse for an 18-month-old girl.

This being Brentwood, of course, the edifice at issue is no ordinary treehouse.

When Les Firestein, a television producer, and his wife, Gwyn Lurie, a screenwriter, wanted to do something really special for their daughter, Sydney, they enlisted their friend Roderick Wolgamott Romero.

Romero is a renowned builder of elaborate treehouses for such celebrities as Sting and Donna Karan. His work can be found in the "fantasy gift" section of this year's Neiman Marcus holiday catalog. Beginning price: $50,000.

In the backyard of the Firestein-Lurie home, which sits on a tree-studded half-acre north of Sunset Boulevard, Romero and his buddies built a roughly 10-foot-by-10-foot structure of reclaimed wood, salvaged windows and vintage stained glass from Buenos Aires that would quicken the heart of any fun-loving child or parent. The treehouse includes a viewing deck bordered by a railing crafted from tree branches from the backyard.

In return, Romero asked for a week's worth of lodging and all the Baja Fresh meals he could eat. With his tattooed arms and braided, knee-length hair swept up under a tweed cap, Romero and his pals worked for days, even in the rain.

Richard Fleming, the couple's next-door neighbor and a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, was not amused.

He feared that children could perch in this aerie and look in on him and his wife in their backyard pool and hot tub. He suspected, also, that city codes had been violated.

Enter the city of Los Angeles. As the treehouse neared completion last Thursday, city inspector Thomas Sze arrived on the Firestein-Lurie doorstep, responding, he told them, to an anonymous complaint.

"Oh, that's big," Lurie said he told them after looking at the treehouse and the much larger platform on which it rested. Sze also expressed concern about the structure's safety. On Friday, he delivered a written order that all work be halted.

"We're requiring plans and permits if [they] want to continue," Dave Keim, the city's chief of code enforcement, said in an interview Tuesday. "We'll work with them to try to legalize this…. It's not going to be easy."

The city does not require permits for nonhabitable structures less than 8 feet square, but Keim said the treehouse exceeds that size and therefore requires city permission. Firestein and Lurie can appeal whether a permit is required.

Firestein, whose credits as a TV producer and writer include "The Drew Carey Show" and "In Living Color," said his rights have been violated. "We just want to make this a magical place," he said. "It's as if the city has come in and said: 'We're outlawing magic.'

"And where do we go from here? No viewing platforms? No climbing in trees? No swing sets? No children playing? It is, figuratively and literally, a slippery slope."

The slope on which the Firestein-Lurie treehouse sits is dramatic. The steep hillside spills down from the back steps of their house to an expanse of green dotted with a play set, a trampoline inserted directly into the lawn and a picnic table. The rear is lined with towering eucalyptus trees. A moss-covered path zigzags from the main house and deck to the grass.

From down below, one can look back up the hill to the underside of the platform that supports the treehouse. The platform, which by the city's estimation is 20 feet by 30 feet, vaguely resembles a ship, with its "prow" pointing toward the lawn. It is more or less triangular, built around three eucalyptus trees. The platform's beams rest on a system of steel rods that have been inserted into the trees. An arborist assured the homeowners and the builders that the poles would not harm the trees.

The windows of the treehouse face onto the Firestein-Lurie property. The treehouse originally had a rear window that overlooked Fleming's property. After Fleming complained, the builders repositioned it. Firestein and Lurie have also vowed to plant trees and vines to mask the view of the treehouse from Fleming's property.

The couple expressed surprise that the situation has come to this, given their efforts to keep neighbors informed of their intentions — and given the care they say they've taken to ensure that the treehouse is safe.

Shortly before Firestein and Lurie moved in in August, the couple who sold them their house held a dinner party to introduce them to the neighbors. Fleming and his wife were there. When Firestein and Lurie announced their plan to build a treehouse, Lurie said, one neighbor offered to create a piece of art for it.

Fleming, however, said the treehouse plan "never crossed these ears." If it had, he added, "I would have raised questions immediately."

Dressed in blue scrubs, Fleming stood on his front lawn one recent afternoon and said that "it may turn out to be fine."

After living cheek-by-jowl with neighbors at the beach for several years, he said he values the privacy that this leafy Brentwood neighborhood affords. So does his wife, Margaret Michaels.

The dispute has taken much of the fun out of the treehouse experience for Firestein and Lurie.

They have received encouragement from their neighbor to the south, Craig Butler, a graphic designer.

"I think it's really beautiful," Butler said. "From my vantage point, it is so well integrated, non-obtrusive and very charming. It's like a little clubhouse."

His wife, Alexis, however, noted that in this neighborhood, residents crave total privacy. "Whether it's beautiful or not is not the issue," she said. "If I thought they were looking into our pool, it would be upsetting."

Why I Have a Love/Hate Relationship w/USF

LOVE

#1
New Green Class Offered to Students of USF's School of Business and Management (aka McLaren School of Business for the old folks)
by Emily Coon
“The objective is to stay in business indefinitely.” Todd Sayre

This fall, Todd Sayre, associate professor - accounting, launched USF’s first course on sustainable business. Using science and economics, Sayre will demonstrate how sustainable practices make good business sense. Sustainable businesses seek to balance the necessity of economic achievement with environmental quality and social justice. A quick scan of the Dow Jones
Sustainability Index reveals how extensively corporate America is embracing this new perspective. Sayre asserts, however, that education has not kept up with the trend. He is eager for USF to “get on board.”

“The university’s Vision and Mission Statement is a good fit with the principles of sustainability,” he said. The new course boasts a stimulating line-up of guest speakers including the co-founder of Global Exchange and a top executive of Interface. Sayre has been coordinating with USF’s chapter of Net Impact, a national organization that promotes corporate social responsibility, green business, public policy, and legislation. They plan to publicize the speaker schedule as a lecture series open to the public.

Two field trips are planned for the end of the semester. One is to Frog’s Leap Winery, which employs sustainable farming practices such as the use of spiders rather than pesticides. The other trip is to Solar Living, an “off-the-grid” community in Marin.

The sustainable business course has proven popular with undergraduate students and is at maximum enrollment. Says Sayre, “I am excited about the semester. I have many socially aware students.”

#2
USF has increased their ethnic minority recruitment for instructors in the past few years and one of them on the tenure track is Assistant Professor Victor Rios. This picture does little justice to this fine specimen of a homie from around the way turned budding sociology professional with an expertise in gang formation and the juvenile justice system in the United States.
USF Alumni Donnettes, check out the latest issue of "USF in the News," Vol. IV, No. 2. Yes, I must confirm that I would have had further distraction besides the ocean views if this man were around back then.

HATE
eh...check out my other blogs...I've included tidbits on USF's shadiness...I'm sure I can dig up more dirt later. The University has been spending money like water to update dilapidated facilities and actually make it more asthetically attractive to go to school there. I'm sure some kind of drama is bound to come from that. Besides, it's good to still be in touch with faculty and administration.

Went to another fundraiser tonight and low and behold, Big Tone was there! First of all, this is the largest grossing fundraiser in the Asian Pacific American community I have been to, thus far. And it's only their 22nd year doing this. Of course, the politics were steep in this event. (I think I've grown a bit more cynical through all of the things I've been doing in the past few months.) Then Big Tone gets presented his awards and this ass doesn't even remember the name of the damn organization that's honoring him! This fool was apparently involved with the agency over the course of a decade, at the very least! Maybe he should lay off his press events and spend a little more time behind his damn desk.

I think the highlight of the night was when they called my friend's name in a drawing to win a car! It was so freakin' random and she wasn't even there! Her company was there to represent her! My other friend and I screamed at the same time when they called out the name! SO RANDOM! Too bad the ticket was paid by her company after she had pleaded to purchase the ticket to begin with. Maybe next time.

Value in Education

As I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to a radio program addressing education in Los Angeles, specifically the significance of Magnet schools in the district. Being a product of them from elementary through high school, I'm all for magnet programs!

According to a UCI professor on the radio show who wrote her dissertation on social ramifications of magnet schools, they began sometime in the '70s to address the need to have integrated campuses within public school districts due to economic, ethnic and other social differences. After the first couple of years they were running, people liked them so much, no one wanted to get rid of them. Then we come to present day and now there is a divide between those who claim that magnet schools and programs are simply for integration purposes and those who emphasize the academic excellence of the programs. In a city as large as Los Angeles, we see stand alone magnet schools, such as Bravo Magnet, that are governed by the same requirements as regular district schools and magnet programs within large district schools, such as the math, science and performing arts magnet programs at Van Nuys High School. The demand for these programs have gotten so high that the process to enroll students have now become quite competitive. The Magnet Program Director of LAUSD tried to explain on the radio show some point system they use to determine enrollment but it sounded a bit too complicated.

I wish I could have listened to the rest of the show but there were tons of interesting topics there were discussing. The moderator inquired about the overall academic performance of students in magnet schools and programs versus the overall performance of students in non-magnet programs. I think the fact that Bravo Magnet is the second top academic performing school in LAUSD is pretty damn significant. Principal Flores-Torres of Bravo mentioned that there are about 30% "gifted" students enrolled, along with a number of lower performing students. The fact that the school has a mix of academic performance levels is good because those who are not performing so well can get guidance and motivation from their peers who are. Coming from a magnet program within a larger school, all the honor students were typically also enrolled in the magnet programs. Our classes were smaller, we had more group projects and were more often hands-on. Our forest ecology classes contributed to the fire/deforestation research with the Calavares Big Trees Park. The marine biology class contributed to research on the marine life in and near the Monterey Bay Aquarium. How more hands on can you get?

The major question that stood out in my mind during the radio show was, can the way programs are being run in the magnet schools be integrated into regular programs within LAUSD? The Magnet Program Director said that some non-magnet schools are examining ways of using successful teaching methods in regular programs. Can this be a way to advance the overall academic performance of LAUSD? Let's hope so. If these changes are successful, I'm sure other districts will use it as a model to integrate their teaching methods, as well.

The reality of the educational system in the United States is apalling. The fact that some schools who have the resources employ development professionals to aid in finding funds for programs they do not want to cut is clear evidence on how strapped for cash our schools are. The fact that the stupid dork running California's government wants to take more money away from the public school system while his children are safely tucked away in private schools is even more disturbing. And they wonder why California's children are not academically performing as high as other states. Hm...maybe we kept more money in the schools and allowed each child to get a simple text book might help. THINK!

There's something about the Fall/beginning of the holiday season that jump starts my creativity. As I was getting ready this morning, tons of ideas were flowing through my head as to what I'd like to do for my lovies this season. Maybe it's the motivation and the fact that I should have more free time during these cold months to do stuff. Ah well...default is to just stay in bed, read books and play with my powerbook all day...if only!

Good times

HOTTIES! This was before the crazy reception at Moonie and Lovella's wedding, the most rowdiest one I've been to, thus far! I clearly remember when this picture was taken.






However, I can't quite remember this one.

Teen Beat

That's my friend, Xochitl and I. My sweet little brothers had to dig through the crates for this one! This was before I figured out Johnny Depp is a bit off his rocker. I have no idea why I ever thought it would be cool to take this picture! I'm embracing the phase.

Yes, that's Patrick Swayze in the background...Dirty Dancing phase, before he tried to make an album. There were probably a few New Kids on the Block and Debbie Gibson posters floating around on the walls, as well. I'm owning up to it.

Screw all of the posers!

Stepped into the Wardrobe

Disney finally hit the jackpot. They're putting out book one of CS Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia" - "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" THIS December!

Before Harry Potter came along, The Chronicles blew all the other similar fantasy tales out of the water. A whole new world is created in the first book, one in which parallels of reality and biblical parabels are perfectly presented in the eyes of a child. It was until later in college that I really started to study CS Lewis and found that he was a devout Christian - OOH! It explains the parallels between God and Aslan's role in the Narnian series. Lewis also wrote numerous papers examining Jesus, Christianity and faith. Lewis' Narnia series was a huge social commentary on political, educational and religious views of man.

In terms of the movie, many of the creative people were the same ones who helped to develop the Lord of the Rings movies so one can clearly imagine the scope of this film's visual effects. I CANNOT WAIT! I remember watching the BBC versions as a child and thinking, "this is great to get visuals of the books." Getting better visuals is astounding. I really hope they remain true to the stories. December can only tell!

Missing Pedestal

For some reason, I feel like gloating about this - "A Minor Trail? Not for Filipinos."

I hope this is another reason why Pinoys should not put their beloved artists on pedestals, more so than US artists!




A Minor Trial? Not to Filipinos
A drug possession case features a name that many in her homeland, and among L.A.'s immigrants, adore. She's an actress now in a sobering role.
By Jia-Rui Chong
Times Staff Writer

September 29, 2005

The People vs. Nora Cabaltera Villamayor, a small drug possession case being heard in a branch courthouse near LAX, has received little attention in the U.S. news media.

But in the Philippines, the coverage has been so extensive, and at times breathless, that it rivals the U.S. fixation on Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart.

For her first court date recently, a crowd including journalists from Manila and fans who flew in from across the United States swarmed the petite 53-year-old star of stage and screen. A puzzled Associated Press photographer turned to a Los Angeles correspondent for the Philippine Daily Inquirer covering the arraignment and asked, "Is she as big as Sophia Loren is in Italy?"

"Way bigger," the reporter replied.

Villamayor is anonymous in the United States, except among Filipinos, to whom she is better known by her stage name, Nora Aunor.

On March 30, authorities say, a federal baggage screener at Los Angeles International Airport reached into her black duffel carry-on and pulled out a glass pipe and 6.69 grams of methamphetamine inside a knotted-up baggy concealed in a sock. At the time, authorities didn't know of her celebrity, said Deputy Dist. Atty. Marguerite Rizzo.

But at home, and among Southern California's huge population of Filipino immigrants, Aunor is called simply "the Superstar."

Presidential candidates have been known to call her seeking an endorsement. Former President Joseph Estrada gave her a house in 1998 after she helped him with his campaign. She has been called the Philippines' greatest pop icon.

Aunor's legions of fans — Noranians, they call themselves — compare her as an actress to Meryl Streep. They have flocked to the more than 170 movies in which she has starred. As a Broadway-style belter in the style of Barbra Streisand, she has cut more than 20 albums.

Some in the Filipino press have portrayed Aunor's drug case as if it were one of her screen melodramas.

Her fans are divided over whether to believe the government's case but say they plan to stick by their star.

"We realize that Nora Aunor is no saint," said Epee Rafanan, a 55-year-old San Francisco resident and officer of the International Circle of Online Noranians, a fan club.

Rafanan and seven other fan club members from the Bay Area drove overnight so they could sit in on the arraignment at which Aunor, who is free on bail, pleaded not guilty.

For that first court date, April 21, fans outside shrieked and raised placards reading "Noranians Forever" and "We Love You Ate Guy." (Ate is a respectful term for older sister in the Philippines, and Guy is a nickname from high school that stuck.)

The fans followed her into the courtroom and filled the rows behind her. Some winked or smiled at her from their seats. Others walked over to whisper in her ear or pass her candy.

Erlinda Valderrama, a 57-year-old Baldwin Park resident who saw Aunor in concert recently, called her "a strong woman."

"She's going to get over it. She's been through worse," Valderrama said.

Corabel Ybanez, 55, also considers herself a Noranian but worries that the star has lost her direction.

Ybanez, who lives in New York City and was recently visiting relatives in Carson, thinks most people pity the actress now.

"I'm sad," she said. "She's practically alone, and she spends her time with friends who lead irregular lives."

Aunor has grown so popular with Filipinos because they identify with her rags-to-riches story, said Momar G. Visaya, editor of the Asian Journal, a Los Angeles-based newspaper for Filipinos.

"She's from a really poor, poor family in the Bicol region," he said. "People see her as an inspiration — if she can do it, anybody can."

To earn money as a child, Aunor would sell water at the train station or cooked food throughout town from a woven tray carried on her head.

She became famous at 14, when she won a national singing competition.

Aunor distinguished herself from many stars of the day by acting in an understated style and speaking in Tagalog, not English. She opened the door for a new kind of movie star, Visaya said.

Fans are especially loyal because Aunor goes out of her way to recognize them, Rafanan said.

After she regaled the audience with her golden voice at a January concert in Hawaii, she signed autographs for hours.

"People at the venue decided it was taking too long, and they would like to close the gates," Rafanan said. "There was still a long line of people waiting for her signature. Nora said, 'Well, I'm going to continue signing autographs outside.' She didn't stop until the last fan."

At a concert in Reno last spring, Rafanan recalled, Aunor walked to the seat of a 95-year-old woman in the audience and told the crowd that this woman had flown from New York to spend her birthday at the concert.

"These are older people who are saying, 'Oh, I didn't see you in the Philippines, but oh, I see you here. I'm so happy,' " Rafanan said.

Aunor, who was released on bail hours after her arrest, is continuing a U.S. concert tour, which has included recent dates in Glendale and Las Vegas.

This month, she was the guest star of a show at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut. The audience feverishly applauded her versions of "What a Feeling" and "The Impossible Dream."

Waiting backstage in a black and fuchsia ball gown and size-2 heels, Aunor said in halting but clear English that her lawyers had instructed her not to discuss details of the trial other than to say she denied the charges.

But she did say she had reached a state of calm about it. The only time nerves got the better of her, she said, was at her second court date.

"At the preliminary hearing, I was so nervous I cried," she said, clutching a reporter's arm. "But then I realized, when I do nothing, I don't have to be nervous or afraid. I believe in God."

Aunor has been living in the San Francisco area since August 2004, said her business manager, Norie Sayo. She declined to name the city, saying she didn't want fans to mob Aunor's house.

Aunor said she hoped to establish residency in the U.S. because she wanted to live a more anonymous life.

"I don't want to be called 'the Superstar,' " she said. "I was happy before when I was just in the provinces."

In Manila, she said, fans who saw her on the street would pinch her, just to say they had touched the Superstar. She never left her house to go shopping. Boutiques brought the newest fashions to her.

"California is nice," she said. "I can do everything I cannot in Manila. I can shop. I can go walking anywhere."

In the Bay Area, Filipino Americans might spot her at the Target or Radio Shack, but they usually leave her alone.

But she still inspired some hysteria during the Walnut concert. As soon as she stepped outside, a group of about 20 women surrounded Aunor, shouting, "Ate Guy! Ate Guy!"

All tried to hug her. Sayo had to pull Aunor free by the arm so she could sign autographs at a nearby table. As cameras flashed around the star, about 40 more people, looking delighted, waited while she signed programs, CDs and old photographs fans had brought.

Most did not mention the trial, but one fan did offer Aunor a business card. The woman told Aunor in mixed Tagalog and English to call her if she needed help because her husband knew someone in the district attorney's office.

For the trial, Sayo has been trying to downplay Aunor's celebrity status.

"I told the fan clubs, Don't come anymore" to court, she said. "We just want it to come out like a regular case, nothing special."

Aunor faces up to three years in prison and possible deportation if convicted. The trial is scheduled to begin Oct. 14, said prosecutor Rizzo.

Rizzo said she hadn't heard of Aunor until after the arraignment, when other lawyers in the office handed her the case and told her Aunor was famous. "She's just a defendant that I'm prosecuting," Rizzo said.

Fund Raising 101

When you're trying to raise money for the less fortunate, why would you target the less fortunate to attend an event or fund raiser? Um...maybe targeting a crowd that has more disposable income might help in the cause? I think this is one of the big things that get to me when I attend "art for art's sake" fund raisers. Most of the time, I see artists and other supporters who don't necessarily have the disposable to allow them to give.

The Youngest Maxim Reader

This boy's a trip. Maddux Paras is one of the chubbiest and cutest babies I know! I could just eat him!

The Soul of a Revolution

I finally had a chance to watch "Diarios de Motocicleta" tonight. I can understand why it was nominated for Academy Awards. It was a beautiful movie which took you through stunning landscapes of Sur America. It was also a wonderful story of how Ernesto "Che" Guevarra and his friend, Alberto Granada, experience the people and the land of which their priveleged lives allowed them to experience.

Throughout the journey, we see the two move out of their comfort zones and begin to see the inequalities and divisions that exist in their society. We see how they are affected by it and what they choose to do about their feelings and their passion to create change in their society. It's an inspirational story that not only makes you want to travel the world but learn from the people who keep this world turning - working families.

I've never examined any of Che's writings or philosophy. Time to put another one on my list.

By the way, get your dvd copies now!

Santa Barbara Camping

All we did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep and drink.


Noel apparently was the pro at all this camping stuff.



The boys came up with a super smart game...who could throw a rock the farthest into the ocean.


And for the "wiener," Noel got to wear these stylin' glasses...er goggles?


We went wine tasting afterwards. Don't let these pictures fool you. The first winery we went to had wines stored in metal barrels...yech! We could taste the metal in the wine. How 'bout using glass barrels?


It was back to LA after traipsing through Santa Barbara County, particularly in Solvang. We were done after the hunt for THE Cheese store was over. Tons of wine on a hot day is not always a great idea.

Next year...Yosemite!

"Filipinotown Searching for Its Center"

I've heard so many damn comments about this freakin' LA Times article in the past few days. I guess it was expected since I do work in Historic Filipinotown with one of the largest community organizations there.

I don't quite understand what the purpose was of the article? From what I heard when people were being interviewed for this article, it sounded like the writing was going to be a bit more extensive than what appeared in the paper. For those folks who were "misquoted" how 'bout writing into the opinion section of the LA Times and setting it straight. If you don't make any noise, who's going to hear you? Besides, whatever you write will most likely make the paper since it's in direct response to a previous article and it looks like The Times wants to give more focus to the other brown folks in this city. It's about freakin' time, no?

So what about the people who know nothing about Historic Filipinotown. Let's hope this article drives them to find out more. It's great publicity for SIPA, I can tell you that!

The question remains, is an economic center for Historic Filipinotown the right direction to go when the majority of the Filipino American community has yet to figure out how to work together? Is an economic center something that we, as a community really need? Maybe this area needs to grow as naturally as other Pilipino-centric areas have such as Panorama City, West Covina, Carson City and National City. How are you going to participate in the change? Talk is cheap.

Restless

What to do, what to do...I'm supposed to get motivated and start exercising again...tomorrow? I guess it would be a good thing if I actually disciplined myself more...tomorrow?

Sweeet, Apple!

The company is blasting the electronic music industry out of the water. It has cornered 82% of the market. To many, Steve Jobs is God! To me, he's a freakin' genius. The leadership he has given to Apple is incomparable. So what do you do when you've determined your largest market share? Create more developments so you make more money in that market!

Some new developments -
1. New version of Itunes w/functions that allow users to make it more convenient for users to listen to the music THE WAY THEY WANT
2. The exclusive acquisition of all of Madonna's albums
3. The exclusive acquisition of all of the audio books of Harry Potter
4. An exclusive partnership with Motorola to provide an Itunes phone through Cingular's network - gives access to music anywhere in the world through the network combined with the phone features....the ads for this are fuckin' AWESOME...ok, some are corny but they get the message across and Apple, Cingular and Motorola will be reaping the rewards from this for quite some time
5. more deals have been made with Honda, Acura, Audi and Volkswagen to offer ipod connectivity in their cars - by 2006, 30% of all cars in the US will offer this option
6. Ipod Mini be gone! - they've introduce the Ipod Nano that's as small as the coin pocket in traditional jeans. It carries 1,000 songs and is in color! Feast your eyes....kids, this is smaller than the stupid Razr phone that I've been lusting about since it came out. The smallest will have 2 gigs and holds 500 songs. It's selling for $199. It's just $70 more than the Shuffle. Which one would you get? Keep in mind the Shuffle has no display screen.



So is this whole entry an Apple ad? OF COURSE! Simply because they rock! Until the next big company comes along, my statement stays! I've worked on their systems since I was in 4th grade and I'm not backing out anytime soon.

Go Steve Jobs and your peeps! Thanks for my super cute Powerbook, too!

Palengke Politics

In a palengke (market), there's tons of activities going on but in the midst of all the chaos, exchanges of goods are had, individuals communicate but everything can never really seem to come together and work in unison. I witnessed a wonderful example of palengke politics tonight. SIPA had a community meeting for two of our housing developments.

Magnolia Tree is on 2nd & Lake. It's an affordable housing development with 46 family units. We're going to break ground in October and it's going to go off without a hitch.

Mango Tree is the mixed used, Seniors' housing development that's going to be across the street from our existing offices. It has received little backing from the City of LA, thus far. The purpose of the community meeting was to get names and people to physically back the project so the logistics could start getting processed by the City of LA.

First of all, the presentation of the material was a bit confusing, particularly for the audience. It wasn't even clear to me at first what was going to happen. A presentation was made about SIPA and then they went in to the transit survey and the housing developments. When you are presenting to an audience who is a bit physically older and mentally slower, holds English as a second language, you might not want to frame your statements with words and concepts that are at a higher intellectual level. I was a bit astounded at how things were presented. There were several times I just wanted to grab the mics out of all of the speakers hands and clearly explain everything.

The community was brought together to:
1. learn more about SIPA and the services that are offered to the surrounding community-in-need
2. participate in a transit survey to improve the conditions of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown
3. get more information about SIPA's two housing developments
4. pledge their committment to physically call the council district office to state their support for the Mango Tree project

Why did it take more than one hour?! Granted, people did eat but some of the questions that were asked were a bit ridiculous only because the material was not presented in a very clear manner.

When information was being given about SIPA and our services, you could hear the leaves rustling in the wind. Statements like case management and counseling, telecom rights campaign, and empowerment and leadership programs were way too sophisticated of words for the audience. You would think that presenters would get this way before-hand. Things were being translated in Spanish but I don't think that helped very much either!!!

The transit survey was presented and things just kept going downhill. All they needed to say was, "We want to improve all of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown by placing seats with covers and lights at the most frequented stops. We need you to fill out this survey with your comments and needs so we have proof to give to the City of LA so we can tell them that the community really does want to make these changes!"

The housing part was what killed me the most. It took forever for people to freakin' get the point that Magnolia Tree had no issues. Mango Tree was the development in danger. If no calls and/or backing gets to the City of LA, there will be no development, there will be no senior housing, there will be no new townhouses, there will be no new SIPA offices so we can do more and the future of other affordable housing developments in Historic Filipinotown becomes greatly jeopardized. Why that was so hard to get was solely based on the fact that concepts were just way too intangible for the audience.

In the midst of the entire event, people were talking amongst each other. People were answering cellphones. This one man kept standing up and started to walk around the room for whatever reason. Those who were hard of hearing were freakin' yelling at each other while they were attempting to ask questions of each other. Peter was laughing hysterically. Staff told the audience several times to give their attention to the speaker. Al Garcia had to give his interepretation of all the concepts in loud-ass Tagalog every so often. I was a bit jealous since I really wanted to do the same damn thing but in English so the other presenters could see how to properly address the audience.

I'm so addressing this madness at our next management meeting!

Tomorrow...tomorrow...tomorrow

It's time for my pops to stop smoking. I mean really, it's time. He's smoked for years and I was so scared when I talked to him today. It actually made me want to run home. He sounded as if he was hooked up to a respirator, gathering as much breath as possible to talk to me. Turns out he's been on respiratory antibiotics. He was with Mike at the clinic because he's been sick for the past few days, as well. I love my dad...always taking care of everyone else but himself. Not always a good trait to have, though. His little saying of "do as I say, not as I do" has been ringing through my head for years. He promised he'd stop smoking. I'm holding him to that.

Say "NO" to CA Sushi Bowl!

Just in case anyone plans on eating at the California Sushi Bowl on Vermont and Melrose anytime soon, I'd recommend you don't. That was the last thing I ate last Thursday before I started to feel a little off. Friday, it got worse. I started to feel more queasy and had a headache for most of the day. It then proceeded to nausea but I never through up, which may or may not have been a good thing.

I tried to get up on Saturday morning to go to the bathroom. As I was standing in front of the mirror, I felt extremely light headed and felt as if I was going to faint. The last time I felt that way was before I fainted in high school before I was diagnosed with anemia. I proceeded to panic trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. All the roomies peaced-out for the weekend so luckily The Joe was gracious enough to look after me while I was sweating away all of Saturday. I was knocked out! I was too weak to eat or drink anything, which sucked because that left me extremely weak!! I managed to muster up enough strength to move to the living room in the evening. I didn't have the strength to move after that so I spent the night on my futon in the living room.

The next morning was a little better. With a little mental will, I managed to get a little bit of cereal in me and take a warm shower after I determined that I had enough strength to actually stand for longer than a minute. I was still out of breath afterwards but felt a little better.

Today is another day and I'm still trying to recover my strength. No lifting big, fat boxes. Lots of fluids, though.

Lesson learned, kids...be extremely picky which "B" places you get food from.

$$$$$$$$

The almighty green devil...this freakin' world can't live without it. Working in the world of nonprofits really changes your view of money. It's a means of survival. You travel that fine line between making a profit for profits' sake and making a profit for the sake of the segment of the community you serve.

Being anti towards the corporate community is pointless. The reality is that the majority of the financial support that exists in the Pilipino community comes from corporations, not from individuals. But for non-corporate types, if you don't have events, it makes it look as if the organization "isn't doing anything." There's such a large disconnect from the people being served and taking advantage of the services and donors. That's one of the paradoxes I've observed over the past few months. It's quite hilarious. People expect you to better the community but they don't want to pick up their own torches to start supporting the community they often criticize for being disconnected and difficult to organize.

Where is it going to stop? I see the same attitudes passed on through generations. I keep thinking a change has to come soon but I keep getting discouraged when people in MY generation don't see the value in investing in themselves, in their people, in their families, in their youth, in their peers. And I'm just not talking about money. I'm talking about time and developing relationships that will help to sustain a cause, an organization.

And then there are those who want to take on every single issue possible. Intentions are grand, a little too grand. It takes a while for them to realize that you can't save the entire world by yourself. You're going to have to work with other people. Politics is a given. Whether you like to deal with it or not, you're going to need to learn how to play the game. Just be careful who your bedfellows are. Sometimes they don't always have the best intentions.

Lastly, there are tons of people who like to hear themselves speak. They want their grandstands because they think that's really going to make people listen to them. I've always had the experience of people not listening to those who are yelling. Stop yelling people, it's not going to get anywhere and will most certainly not get you what you want.

So all of these attitudes begin and end with money. What doesn't? I guess the key is to figure what kind of good you want to get from it and how do you go about getting what you want with it.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

YOU MUST THINK I'M STUPID! Motherfucker...think again!

We going campin'!

God only knows how this weekend is going to be. What has been a long time coming, had a few bumps along the way and is now actually happening is a bit hard to believe. I'm looking forward to it, though. Hopefully these fools won't be late so we can actually get a good camp site.

We're going to El Capitan. It looks beautiful, right on the ocean and connected to Refugio State Beach.

Uncle Andoy and Auntie Evelyn, along with Lanie are going to be at the Santa Barbara Farmer's Market. Can't wait to see them, either. I haven't seen family in a while. I even managed a little visit with Manong Ped and Lee while those fools are down here with Karen and Marie.

This is going to be a nice little getaway that has certainly been a long time coming. Pictures to come!

Where did it go?!

Dear Most High, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card.


8/10/05 8:18am
WOOHOO....found it! The best thing about it is now my laundry is seperated and ready to go! Mercury still sucks!

Happiest Place on Earth?

We're going here on Monday. As much as I don't want to be in the office, it's going to be a tad bit nerve racking considering we have a big event on Thursday and we're supposed to sell out on tickets.

Besides that, I'm not really looking forward to the heat and all the kiddies running about. Maybe I'm just being bah-humbug but damnit, it couldn't have come at such an inopportune time! Everytime I'm there, I also keep thinking of how happy can Disneyland be? It's a company that was started very long ago and had a different focus then. Now, the corporation has presented stories in a way that can be compared to how fastfood has stormed the nation. Disney has managed to dull down stories as much as their big name studio friends who make the movies that tell half truths.

Why am I being so cynical lately? Vacation time...

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

With the good comes the bad. I had a good day today...press conference this morning w/food and government officials talking about how the Voting Rights Act needs to be reapproved by the US Congress...came back for about an hour and then went to lunch and had the BEST MEATLOAF EVER!!!...took a nice tour of the Hollywood Hills, Lake Hollywood, drove by the Hollywood sign and salivated over all the super nice haciendas in the Hills...came back to the office and was let off early. Hoped to spend time with someone I haven't seen all freakin' damn week and now there's some stupid emergency and I'm back at work...again...writing in this damn journal...friend is getting a pedicure...my head feels heavy and all I want is a damn hug...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! motherfucker!

Winding down

It's late and I just got home about 15 minutes ago. Can't go to sleep yet so doing some winding down. I have so much pent up emotion right now.

I've been working like mad lately. Even friends who contact me at work can't get a hold of me.

We had to go to a movie premiere/screening of Miramax Films "The Great Raid" tonight. It was extremely difficult to watch scenes of the movie since the entire time I kept thinking about my relatives who lived through World War 2 and the Bataan Death March. I've been asked to keep my critiques to myself until after the next screening next week but hey, who's going to tell?



I kept waiting for something to be pronounced correctly by the purow/putit in the production. There were a couple of Tagalog words muttered by one of the actors but for the most part, everything else was pronounced with a very westernized tongue. I had a bit of a problem with the flawless makeup some of the women wore, particularly in the so-called battlefield and war-torn country. I didn't expect for them to show much of the story from the perspective of the Philippines and its people, the country that was raped by BOTH SPAIN AND THE UNITED STATES. I guess the edit would have been a little too long to show all of that. So what's it come down to, people? I think we're going to really need to start making our own damn films since none of the major western production companies are going to do it...ideal situation, no?

Sometimes I see these things and think, "Are we, as Pilipinos, ever going to break out of the mentality that we're not good enough to be in the forefront of media outlets or even in society?" How long are we going to settle for being portrayed as the "supporting actors?" I hear way too often, "Oh, it was a great story. Really shows how the Pilipino People are so caring." Always taking care of other people aside from themselves. It's a paradox that I see often, even from those in our community who feel they are trying to break the cycle. They're waiting for the next super power purow/putit to save them from themselves. When are we going to start taking care of ourselves? When are we going to begin telling our own stories and SUPPORTING each other through that?

Although this story could be portrayed as just another one that shows how Americans save the day, yet again, it also shows how vital it was to work with the Pilipino rebel soldiers. Before we get all pro-US, let's also remember that these same "rebel soldiers" were probably also the same ones who revert to fighting the US Baboys after they didn't want to get out of the country. The movie also neglected to show the exchange of the "deed" of the Philippines between Spain and the US. I guess that would have added a little more time to the movie than they wanted to, as well.

Overall, this movie was fine in showing the struggles and disparities of war, as well as the so-called true heroes. It shows the benefits in working with a group of individuals from different backgrounds, as well as highlights the historical significance of the piece. It's definitely something everyone should see. But I highly urge that this is definitely not where we, as Pilipinos and Pilipino Americans should stop. Fine, support a "mainstream" movie that takes place in the Philippines but let's work towards stopping Hollywood and the entertainment industry, as a whole, it's exoticism of the country and its people. I love meeting entertainment or corporate types who love to tell me how "exotic" my look is after they find out I'm "FIlipino." "I love that country. The people are sooo beautiful and oh so friendly!" It's a good thing they haven't opened their eyes to how the Philippines' people are just accomodating them in order to become as capitalistic as it's dominators in hopes of gaining more financial wealth than its oppressors so they can be just like them! Who's the bad guy again?

Aside from that, I'm exhausted, braindead and really, truly missing personal time.

Home Sweet Home

Found out someone attempted to break in to my mom's Pathfinder last Friday in broad daylight. Those are some fuckin' balls! Then, when they call the police for a report, they're told that they'd have to fill out a form online! What about the people who have limited or no access to the internet, as well as those who don't know how to use it?! My poor mother. No one has shown her how to even turn on the computer. I went ahead and filled out the stupid form online for her and sent the Stockton Police Department a nice little message.


From: Gerlie
Subject: Police Reporting
Date: August 1, 2005 11:08:28 PM PDT
To: police@ci.stockton.ca.us
Cc: Mom, Mike, Dist6@ci.stockton.ca.us

To whom it may concern,
My parents experienced an attempted auto theft last week in broad daylight. Although their car was not stolen, the feeling of violation on their personal property and well being continues to linger.

An attempt was made to contact the Stockton police department to report the crime shortly after the discovery of their damaged vehicle. The person they spoke with informed them that they would not send out a police car and instructed my mother fill out a police report online. I was a bit taken aback that the only option presented to them was to fill out the report online. I realize that the online reporting may make the process a bit more efficient. Is there any other way to get access to your services for those with 1) limited personal access to the internet, 2) limited or no knowledge of how to use the internet? I am concerned because having access to this type of technology is not always afforded to those of older age nor to those at low levels of income.

The crime happened on Friday, July 29th around 5pm. I did not hear about the news until today, 8/1/05. Because my parents have limited knowledge of the internet, I filled out the application for them even though I now live in Northridge in Southern California. If you would like to reference the temporary police report number, it is T05001721. It was submitted today, 8/1/05 at 19:12.

I applaud the technological advancements the Police Department and the City of Stockton have made with offering online services but I hope provisions have been made for those who have yet to afford access to those technolgical advancements. I have already suggested to my mother that she and my father look into advocating for a neighborhood watch program if there is not one already, as well as working with the local neighborhood council or their city council district office to ensure the well being of their neighborhood. Should you hear of more crimes in that area, I strongly advocate that police cars perform periodic drive-throughs on top of residences' efforts to maintain the well being of their communities.

Sincerely,
Gerlie Collado
Thomas Edison High School - Class of 1997
Stockton resident - 15 years


I took the liberty of copying their council district office, as well as one of my dingbat brothers who hasn't taught my mom how to use the freakin' computer! I promised mama I would teach her basics as long as she learned how to check her voicemail on her cellphone. No voicemail, no internet training. :-)

The Hunt

PREPARATIONS

Time to feed one of my cravings......shoes!!! I haven't purchased any cute ones in a while!!! I can't even remember the last time I got new shoes! When these cravings hit, you just have to satisfy them or it's going to start eating at you! Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Now find the right ones, that's the fun of the hunt! Anyone who can locate these gets a prize!

THE PRIZE


WOOHOO! Found them in tan in a random store AND they were on sale! My day was made! :-)

Babies solve everything

Too many complaints and negative energy right now...but baby made me feel better.

F*$%in' Flips!!!

I HATE CRAB MENTALITY!!!! Learn to be freakin' supportive, damnit! Oh...are you feeling neglected...ohh...let me baby you so you can feel better about yourself! Get over it already, f*$%ers!!!

It's coming...

Ah...it's that time of year again and things are moving as swiftly as they should. There are always suprises along the way but for some reason, FPAC is way too blessed for bad things to weigh it down. It was really hard for me to completely stay away so I'm playing a very very minor role. At least I hope I am. :-) So it can get a bit hectic, but damnit, I love this stuff!!! AND there is hope that changes are a good thing!

Successes

A clear example of what you can do when you focus. Unbeknownst to many, my Joe-y was so scared getting on a rink that was just a little larger than the living room in his house, especially since he's never really ice skated. I've always believed he could do anything and this is proof. He's starting to embark on some new things in his life and I have full confidence that everything he has worked for will completely pay off. He's still kind of close to the wall in this picture, though. A kid almost knocked him down as he was approaching the turn. ahahaha!

It was The Monster's birthday last weekend. I was kind of bummed I missed it...kind of bummed I missed another family get-together...just feeling a bit homesick.

Think again!

For a while, this summer was looking to be a somewhat relaxed one. I figured with some things taken off my plate, I'd be able to relax and take in the sites more often than not...right...spoke way too soon! Is this really something that I have to accept about my life...moving from one project to another? There has to be an end sooner or later, right? But then there's always something that replaces the other. Maybe this is a challenge to simplify my life a little more. Otherwise, I see no opportunity to get my room clean anytime soon! Boo!

Transitioning...still

Yes, I do love my job. I'm learning a ton each day and I'm able to give back in ways I never thought I would.

When I was in my prior position, I had my day job and so many other things going on outside of work. Now I find myself in a position where I'm required to do some of the projects i used to do outside of my job and find myself with a little more free time than I thought...well, in between projects, that is. So what am I left with now?

I've been told that my true nature leads me to constantly look for new things to do aside from my daily grind. I think that sums up the majority of my life. So I think it's just a matter of figuring out other things I can spend my time doing, aside from the "community projects" I've been invovled with for the past year or two. Transitions are good, right? Maybe this is a good time to start focusing on me again.

I'm doing...

I'm enjoying where I am a lot more than where i was a five months ago.
I'm not working a 9 to 5 job.
I'm working for a community I really care about.
I get to throw fabulous events for big and small funders/supporters.
I get to check out other events that affiliate groups throw and meet all sorts of interesting people.
I'm healping to increase the perpetuity of one Pilipino organization.
It's all about the money but all for the good reasons.

What if I can be more effective if I wasn't an official member of one group?
Would it be the same case if I were to be with another ethnic organization?
How affective do I really want to be?
What kind of affects do I want to instill in my community?

I can't change the world on my own. I don't know why that thought ever entered my mind...wishful thinking...maybe.

It's a job...it's a career? Still thinking. It'll definitely develop into something, that's for certain.

Starting off the week...

How is it that pain becomes more intensified as we get older...more so with women, I guess?

And how is it that the first phone call I get this freakin' morning comes with a huge dose of attitude and rudeness even if it's not my fault!?! MF!

Trying to stay positive...the long weekend will definitely not come too soon!

trying to fight off emotional meltdown...damn these freakin' hormones!

i just want to crawl into a little hole and sleep until tomorrow...

Spirituality and Freedom

To the so-called progressive freedom fighters out there who do not feel that religion should not play a big role in fighting for freedom, I have two words for them - liberation theology.

For the less materially blessed - of necessities and wants, those who really have nothing as strong as their spirituality to make it through; may the blessings of The Creator shine upon you always. Nothing will ever be as strong as your faith and no one can examine it better than you.

Fanaticism kills.

Ano ba?

An LA hip hop group just put out a new cd which contains a Tagalog song penned from one of their members, I'm sure. It's not the most content driven Tagalog track. But I see it's significant purpose of helping to open doors for other Pinoy artists to introduce their songs to the masses and show how enlightening a Tagalog rap can be other than talking about eating adobo and wanting to be friends instead of getting married. Overall, the cd is full of dance beats which will more than likely be played out at all the clubs this summer.

My first question, where did all the content go? Did their meaningful lyrics go out the door the minute they finished recording the track about getting retarded and took on a female member?

This is one of my favorite hip hop groups. They have been originals throughout their entire career. What kills me the most is their Tagalog track was released in the Philippines with a special promo disc containing a video shot with a bunch of booties shakin' everywhere, as I'm told. It just seems that they have started to fall into really being in the limelight and producing tracks that those who are not as interested in content would definitely purchase, aka, the masses. If that's really the case, sige. I support them but don't think I'll be polluting my ears with a ton of their tunes any time soon. Please don't get too retarded.

Miffed

if there is nothing in your power to change something, why try?!

What happened?

Did I just attempt to apply for a position and just get turned down for it? "No thanks, but I'm sure we'll be able to do more with you in the future." I sincerely hope so. Luckily, this is a good friend and there are ways of getting around this one. Oh yes, he will give in.

Subservience

not a good feeling...not a good feeling at all.

The Force Explained

Ok...not going to ruin it so no need to panic. With all the hoopla going around about this damn epic, you'd think that the characters and events in this movie were real. Lucas has done a tremendous job of continuing one of his greatest professional creations and, bottom line, make more money for all. Don't mean to sound cynical but that's pretty much what it usually boils down to.

In regards to the movie...it was pretty damn good. Tons of eye candy most of the time but spectacular scenes, none the less. The work that went into creating this movie should and cannot be discounted at all. In all seriousness though, people...it's just a movie. There's no need to go on and on about differences in story line, perceptions on character's personalities and the like. Another bottom line, it's just a movie, a simple story that has many parts. The success of the epic can only be attributed to the populus who continue to treat the story lines and characters as real beings. Instead, I must urge that we take the meanings of the stories more seriously than the literal depictions of the characters and events.

Lesson 1
The idea of equalities always existing in the universe has existed throughout the centuries.

Lesson 2
No matter how hard we try, escaping our destiny can sometimes be a fleeting attempt. Thus, other inevitable events are set to follow with whatever decisions and actions we undertake.

Lesson 3
Releasing all attachments to material things - objects and beings, really is a good thing, indeed. Helps you keep your focus on the non-tangible things.

Lesson 4
No matter what the challenge, focus on the task at hand in order to reach your overall goal. Release all distractions that may come from it and keep on truckin'.

Lesson 5
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, except when they try to knock off a limb with a big ass laser thing.

Lesson 3
Get to a busy ass theater at least 30 mins. before starting to allow yourself plenty of time to hit the concession stand.

Lesson 4
Go to a theater that has reserved seating if you're going to watch something that the entire world has been waiting for. Thank The Almighty for Arc(h)light!

Damn my new found moroccan mint tea obsession! I should've drank this hours ago! Must find other things to tire my mind now. Good night!

Summer has begun!

First unofficial pool party of the year! if only more weekends can be like this. Went to another bbq yesterday at one of my girl's place. Took in some sites in El Serreno, behind South Pas, and just before Alhambra. Went to dinner at Shamshiri's with the roomies later on that evening. Checked out a new club Jointz has started in Hollywood on Sunday afternoons. Can't beat the free stuff. Came back home to bbq again with the roomies and some homies. Do we really have to go to work tomorrow?!

Hobby #101

Oh yeah, forgot one more thing. The new project of the moment - growing new plants: basil, rosemary, mint and chocolate mint. The orchids are still growing strong. I let my African Violets run their life. My little vine from college is still growing strong. I supppose I should move that into a new plant holder sometime soon so it can fill itself out. Maybe I did inheret a green thumb from good old dad. I miss fresh fruits and vegetables. I remember the first time I ate an organic tomatoe, it tasted like the ones I would bite into when I was younger...the ones my mom would buy every Saturday at the farmer's market. Kind of sad. Can't wait to eat some seasonal fruits and vegies from Dad's garden.

Who? Me?

"Every so often the cosmos treats us to a bewitching month, one so special it can only be described as truly breathtaking. Dear Capricorn, precisely this sort of month lies ahead for you. You are a hardworking, ambitious sign, but even you realize from time to time that you need balance."

Nice start to the month, wouldn't you say? It's been about three months since I've transitioned to a new work environment and an all around new work neighborhood. The areas I have worked in are drastically different, down the noise I hear every day come 2 o'clock in the afternoon. From the silence I would hear at my cube, comes the pounding and yelling of little ones excited for another afternoon to paint, internet surf, dance, throw, run, read, talk to their hearts' content. I love the noise. My focus grows as the noise gets louder. I've been told that, in essence, this quality is perfect for one in my new line of work.

So now my work life is in gear. Time to make sure my personal life is just as manageable. I need to get all my projects in line. I've been trying to clean my room in weeks. Seems like this is always the case unless someone special is coming over. I've been this way for ages. I remember being just as busy in high school and my mother yelling at me to clean my room. "But Mom, if I cleaned my room, I would never be able to find anything!" I realize that this would allow me to relax and even think a little more clearly but that's just the way I've always been. Something to work on? Well...yeah. All in due time. I'll kick myself in the ass to get in gear when I feel it's really time to do so. Probably another thing I should think about working on - procrastination. I guess if I really want to be a more productive person, I should certainly pick up the pace a little more.

Starting to ramble...maybe it's time for bed. My eyesight is going a bit. It's starting to get a little more difficult for me to look at the screen. Definitely time for bed before I say something non-coherent.

Truth in History

I was first introduced to Professor Howard Zinn in college through Professor James Taylor's "Race & Ethnic Politics" class. With the many students who had taken Professor Taylor's class, the movement to bring Professor Zinn to campus grew, at least from what I recall. Seeing him speak was one of the few times in my life that I actually felt "starstruck." To see and hear a man who had fought his entire life for labor equality, civil liberties and, of course, social justice, was quite remarkable. It drove my quest to gain more information on how "the system," whether it be capitalism, the great US democratic system, or globalism, can be learned from and changed from within. Being introduced to Professor Zinn and to the concept that justice, in essence, is not always fair, solidifed my own fight for equality.

These types of people are my heros, those who tell the truth about life, about people's experiences, particularly those who have been shun from the dominant society for way too long.

My father was the first. Throughout my lifetime, he has always reminded me of the significance of those who are not always at the top of the economic ladder. Those who toil to bring food from the ground to our tables. Those who perform the most repetitive of jobs simply to ensure that their families and themselves will live as equally as those who have postions that require a bit more grey matter exercise.

To those who continue to speak the truth and fight for it, thank you for your honesty, thank you for your bravery and thank you for your verocity. I pray that you will never lose yourself in the movement or "the system."

On the Contrary

Ain't that about a bitch! I heard praises all morning long about the great event that was put on last weekend that I worked on. Then I get a nice slap in the face to inform me that not everyone was happy. Ah well...you just have to love how much drama people like to raise, especially those who like to do it often, particularly when it comes to raising awareness of a particular person's power. I can't help to feel a little relief towards the potential shift in power that could happen in the next few weeks. Man, that would be the simple, silent and sweet top to this whole situation.

KCRW always makes me feel better. Sabor a Mi, sung by Los Lobos just started. This song always makes me envision a cool summer night, sitting among the trees, reminiscing about some past love, hearing children play in the neighborhood, and just enjoying the life that the Almighty has given me.

A Dead Tired High

It's done...my first one! What a ride! I'm so freakin' tired but I was amazed that I still had the energy to go out with George and Elson afterwards to get some drinks. I was such on a high of just knowing that everything was pretty much taken care of and whatever happened that we couldn't control tonight just happened.

Some things to keep in mind next time I have another big event -

1. Make sure to get enough food and rest.
2. Delegate and empower as much people as possible to help with various tasks!
3. Know people's limits and your own.
4. Set expectations from the very beginning.
5. Hydrate as much as possible while on the job.
6. Try to enjoy the event a little more than just walking in and out to just check on the order of the program.

I'm done.

2 more days!

I CANNOT WAIT! I'm sleeping in on Sunday! We might end up meeting financial goals! Hopefully the silent auction will get us up there. I'm so freakin' exhausted but damnit, I do thrive on this mess! I don't like to have to do it all the time but shiiit, when I need to step up to the plate, better get ready 'cause I don't throw down for just anything. All of this hoopla is for increasing the capacity of SIPA to keep progressing. We have three more affordable housing developments in the works. We want to create more youth programming and continue to grow with the community around us. Hell yeah! Yes, I do love my job! So far, so good!

Unfair!?

Unfair?! I've been so busy for the past few weeks. I've hardly had time to do my laundry, much less cook for myself. I broke down the other weekend after I spent close to 5 hours at my house all week long because of work and sleeping elsewhere. Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with the one person in my life whome I thought would understand me as much as my girlfriends. Was I expecting too much again? How come I always have to be the one to ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling? How come I'm the one who usually initates the check-ins? AND, to top it off, I have to pull stuff out of him most of the time! What the hell is going on? For the first time, I'm finally fine with my professional life but it feels like things outside of it are in some sort of transition. I haven't been inspired to cook anything in such a long time. I want to do something with my room to rearrange or something but I don't know what. I want to do something different in the dining room but I don't know what. I haven't sketched anything in such a long time. What the hell kind of phase is this?!

Gray Matter Exercise

Will someone please dig me out of the drab intellectual hole I feel like I've been in for ages? The best thing about this is that I can't even figure out what I'm in the mood for. The last movie i saw in the theaters was Bride and Prejudice . It was such a smart and cheeky movie...definite chick flick and a I know a few boy toys who would love it!

I haven't even cooked in so long! I haven't felt very inspired. I miss the farmers' market I used to go to regularly. I need to make more of a point to go every Thursday in Chinatown or in Northridge. Inspritation...I can't do weekly trips to Trader Joe's, especially when I know I can pick up fresh produce a bit cheaper elsewhere.

Inspirition...inspiration...inspiration...where to find it...where to find it...where to find it.

Say it isn't so!

Have I really gotten too old for going out? I've just noticed lately that I don't have patience for all these stupid, ritzy, ditzy clubs. How many times do you go to the same damn place and go through the same damn routine...get your fit right, get your hair tight...blah blah blah. Have I really gotten that spoiled to just stick to clubs or night-outs where my friends and I have rented out a club/restaurant or at least a portion of it to just chill? Have I really gotten into the habit of extending so much energy during the day that I can't even fathom doing much in the evenings except chill out on my bed with a nice book or scroll through internet babble? Ummmm...maybe it's a phase...

Daily Download

What the hell am I feeling right now? Work has been kicking my butt and tomorrow will be another day. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS FREAKIN' EVENT IS OVER!! I completely asked for it. Growing pains...growing pains...growing pains. Man, it's been rough.

Came from a FAN mixer tonight. Not sure what to think about that group at this point. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. Maybe it's just the month. Only two board members were there tonight, minus the two advisors. I haven't been in the mood to network with anyone during the past few mixers. Someone put it quite well tonight - "I don't want to go to those things anymore. It's the same damn thing all the freakin' time. Do something different already!" EXACTLY! Do I still have hope for that group?...yes. Will it stand the test of time and get fully running on its own?...who knows? But just like anything, if people will for something, then it will happen.

The one thing I was impressed with tonight were the three people I met as I was walking out the door from the mixer. They were three men who started a record label in New York and have been in LA for the past year or so trying to push their music into the scene on the West Coast. All three were Pilipino and had mentioned that they were currently working with UCLA's Samahang on something. Taking into consideration that my perception of Samahang isn't too positive at this point, I think it's high time to introduce these boys to other, more general community organizations. I was impressed by their candor and their willingness to network with a whole load of different people. I immediately introduced them to one of the FAN board members and they took it from there. Good luck, Q.

After the whole program for this evening and having someone whine in my ear for most of the night, I'm just completely exhausted. I got on the computer with the intention of doing some work but I'm just not feeling it right now. As I said earlier, tomorrow is another day.

Breathing

Today was a damn hard day. I feel like I got trampled on left and right and tomorrow will be another day. It's amazing that I actually like what I'm doing. Growing pains...must be patient with myself and must continue to have a little more foresight.

Phases

For the first time in a long time, i can honestly say I'm in a state of peace. I was always looking for something more the entire time I was at Kaplan. I started to volunteer with other organizations to find out what I really wanted to do and through all of that, here I am, working with one of the groups I had volunteered with in the past. I am an advisor of a group that i was completely skeptical about joining to begin with. I have met the majority of my friends through the volunteer projects and organizations I have participated in over the past few years. Go figure. We'll see how long this phase lasts. But one thing's for sure...I'm enjoying every minute.

Let's go out!

Last night was the first time I have gotten drunk in such a long time! Had fun with some of my girls at Claudia & James' wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and the weather was perfect. Thank goodness the rain has passed, for now at least. It was the funnest time I've had with my girls in quite some time. I miss going out with Cris! Time to get the Spring/Summer party season started!

Heaven pt. 2

If I could take public transit every day of my life, I would be in heaven! I hate having to take care of my car and I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go! I hate being a slave to my car! I feel like it's a freakin' child - regular checkups, catering to every squeak, drip, noise. I HATE IT! Times like this I wish I was back in the Bay with regular access to mass transit.

Gone are the days I lived near over 5 bus lines that could take me anywhere in the City.
Gone are the days when I'd just hop on a MUNI line to just see different parts of the City when I was broke as hell.
Gone are the days when I'd look down on different parts of the City and figuring out how to get there by whicheve MUNI line was the closest.
Gone are the days when I would hear several different languages from all over the world being spoken next to my ear.
Gone are the days I'd watch that Asian dude walk up and down Market St. with his "Impeach Clinton, Bush, Nixon, Eisenhower, Grant" sign with his funky looking glasses and the same, curiously looking, grey suit with pant legs that ended just above his ankle.
Gone are the days I'd trudge into class late because I'd refuse to walk up the damn hill during morning rush hour because the minute I'd start, halfway through, a freakin' Balboa limited would drive past me and I'd be no where near a damn bus stop!
Gone are the days I used to get my monthly MUNI paid for by the company I was working for or get it included in my student activity fee!
Gone are the days when I used to laugh at all the people waiting in that long ass line for the cable car at the end of Powell and Market as I merrilly went my way on the Fulton or the Hayes or the F line.
Gone are the days when I took the MUNI from the fog-stricken Richmond and look towards Downtown, where the sun was needlessly bathing towering buildings so the people below could get no tan what so ever!
Gone are the days when I'd wait for the 33 Ghost to take me to our weekly family dinners with a side of Seinfeld.
Gone are the days when I'd wonder what kinds of characters would be joining me on my regular rides.
Gone are the days when I'd take the 33 Geary with my duffel bag full of laundry for the weekend to the Bart Station on Market and Powell so I could go home for the weekend to get some lovin' from my momma and jokes from my dad.
Gone are the days when I'd find new places to visit in the City just by randomly taking a new line to get to some of my usual spots.
Gone are the days when my girls and I, in our short, sexy skirts, and heels, would take the Fulton or the Hayes to get to Bahia for a night of samba, cumbia, salsa, reggae and maybe some hip hop if the stupid dj was smart and decided to spin some freestyle.
Gone are the days when I'd wait in anticipation to go to a new food venue to savor on some deletable dishes, usually accompanied by great friends.
Gone are the days I'd watch the sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge and Marin from that cool spot at Ft. Mason.

Man, I miss the City by the Bay. Calgone...take me to San Francisco! I can never have enough time there!

But, alas...I've made my bed. I've decided to live here, where EVERYONE is a slave to their vehicles. I always wonder how long it's going to take until I get ridiculously weary of traffic-infested SoCal.

Pac Plunder

Last weekend was the Pacquio vs. Morales boxing match. It was disaster in the making.

I knew by the second round it wasn't going to be a good fight for Pacquio aka "The Pacman," as so lovingly referred to by his fellow countrymen...which brings me to my bigger point. Pacquio fell...hard.

After his previous fight against Barreros, which was proclaimed a draw, many believed he should have been the rightful victor, including myself. He went back to the Philippines shortly after to do some press events. He received awards here and there, recognition from Malacanang, herself, as well as a few large sums of pesos, I'm sure. He comes back to the States and does a few more press events and gains a bit more recognition. All the while, I couldn't help to think he should've been spending more time in the gym than revelling in all the praises of his countrymen. And there's the rub.

For some reason, in the Pilipino community, we love to create idols that supposedly represent all of us. Maybe it goes back to the years of colonization and the suppressed mentalities we, as a people, have cultivated in ourselves. But time and time again, we tend to raise certain invididuals to heights that they never thought they would go. When the time comes for them to get down to business, either their heads are too big for their own good, or the mass' expectations are way too high for the idol's own good.

Every round Pacquio fought was ended with a big grin on his face. In no way am I discounting the work he did in the ring but maybe he should have paid more attention to his fighting than his dancing. It was evident by the people I was watching the match with that the almight Pacman was not guarding the other half of his body when he was hitting with the opposing side. Not sure what his energy level was towards the end of the match but he would hit Morales and then would not follow with stronger blows. Um...I don't watch boxing that much but I would think that a fighter that gains a second of advantage over their opposition would aim for keeping that advantage.

In any case, I can't help to feel as if Pacquio fell into the trap of getting his ego raised to heights that it should never have reached. He's a good fighter, confirmed by many friends who watch and understand boxing more than I. Let's hope he learned his lesson this time around and will spend more time in the gym than signing autographs and taking pictures.

Friendster Vacuum

Damn Friendster...I turned my computer on tonight specifically to do some work and I got sucked into the Friendster trap. Damn these vices! i haven't been on that website in ages and I got hooked trying to find some peeps. Ah well. Time for bed...my mind can't think anymore.