MBA here I come!....deep breath

As much as I swore off business school and never to sit in a business course ever again, I have come to the conclusion that I will get more mileage from an MBA program than a specific MPA or MPP program. I want to stay in philanthropy and possibly the public and community service sector but bring way more to the table.

I have strengthened oodles of skills with my community involvement over the years. My level of care for the public sector has grown to levels I never knew it would. “Sink or swim” has been the main motto every time I get into something new. I do not foresee this changing anytime soon.

So here we go. We’re waiting for replies from various PhD programs for The Joe. If he decides not to go through with it, I’m applying. If he decides to go, then my timeline will be a little longer. For now, I’m going to take a few courses to strengthen the skills I figured (in college) I would pay someone else for when I got older. I have definitely seen the error of my ways. I gotta be competitive, right?

Bad group project flashbacks started to happen when I attended my first info session the other evening. I remembered buzzing noises happening every time the class and professor started droning on about bottom lines and profit margins that had no higher purpose. For this reason, I MUST have a community service/public administration/public policy slant to my program. The potential of going postal would be too high for me if I could not customize a program this way.

Moving forward – I breathe in courage, hope and the true spirit of humanity with the highest intentions of truly contributing to and supporting a better world.

Guilty Pleasure - Top Reality

Woohoo! Another season of the Top Chef is over. Although many of the challenges each chef is placed in doesn't always seem like reality, I still like watching the creative process. Ok...I guess I'm kind of hooked on the drama that ensues, as well. There's just something about watching other people fight! It puts me into that "I'm glad it's not me" mode.

In any case, the right, mature person won - someone who can really run a kitchen and have the respect of his colleagues. (Those who have not seen the show yet, do not read on if you don't want to know the name of the winner.) Stupid little Marcel needed to be kicked down a few pegs before he's really elevated to a level as respected as the executive chef of an establishment. I don't care where the hell the little prick is from. His head needed to be deflated so he can actually understand what it takes to be respected by colleagues in his field.

Bravo Ilan!

being sick sucks! i'm left to my knuddling with my nyquil so 1) i don't get anyone else sick and 2) i can't breathe through my nose and this is the only medicine that's strong enough to get me through the night without completely drying me up. blach! maybe i'll be well enough to get to work tomorrow...

I was reminded today of how my friends and I have always been somewhat gungho to make this world a better place. I don't think I'll ever move away from that frame of mind but I am definitely glad I've gotten more strategic about how we go about "saving the world." Conciousness is a powerful thing. Knowledge is even more powerful. And I am definitely in a position to keep working towards that, on a very global scale.

How sad!

The world was set abuzz this week with the introduction of the iPhone, the next generation of "smart phones" and iPods. As much as I was anticipating this introduction, I was highly disappointed to find that Apple has partnered with sucky Cingular as the service provider. The $499 cost for a 4 gig version and $599 cost for an 8 gig version didn't feel too good either.

I can't deny that the device really is a computer that fits in your palm and pocket. It's a phone. You can use it for phone calls, text/picture messages and visually scroll to check your voicemail. It works like a Blackberry for emails and online access. The browser is laid out the same way it is on the ever so cute Mac and Powerbooks. Google maps comes built in and, again, is the same view as you would see on a computer web browser. And lastly, you have mobile access to your music! Granted, you'll only have 8 gigs of music at the most right now.

What are the major arguments NOT to get it? First generation brands are always most expensive. The cost of the original iPods is definitely a little more than the current generation. They were also a bit more bulky. One of my fellow Mac-addicts who totally feeds my obsession everytime I ask for an Apple-related recommendation, said that the price will indefinitely go down. Since competitors will bid to provide parts for the device, Apple will experience efficiencies in production and customers will see the price decrease. Make sense? I hope so.

Let it be resolved that I will wait for the second generation, as much as I really want to play with it right now! Hell, if the third generation is even better, I think I can be that patient. I didn't get an iPod until the 4th generation. But yes, the new iPhone is ever so tempting.

Apple, Inc., you didn't make me super happy this week. But I wasn't completely disappointed.

In related news, I sent a "recommendation" to Verizon that they need to step up their game. I don't want to switch to Cingular because their coverage sucks more than Verizon. But Verizon's phones need to improve significantly. Don't be number 2 in the country forever!

Renewals

New year, older me and the iPod is still kicking. I got it to work yesterday after banging it on my bed a few times. It's probably not the most ideal thing to do with it but it works for right now. I've also started listening to my music again. I've forgotten how much I love the eclecticsm of music and how much it sparks my different moods.

My birthday was wonderful. It was a test of patience, understanding and flexibility. It didn't turn out as I had expected but in the end, I was with people I love and heard from my distant loved ones. I was reminded yet again of my many blessings. Thank you to The Most High for everything in my life, the good and the not so good. Great things will happen this year, I can feel it. And every year will only be better.

Apple iPhone, pleeeeeeeeease!

So Apple hasn't had the best pr in the past couple of months. Their stock has gone down a little due to the suuposed back dating of stock options, poor Stevie.

Rumors have it that they're going to announce a new iPhone next week at the MacWorld conference. Please don't tease me...say it's true! It seems like a natural progression but I doubt they're going to be cellphone service providers. It would require an entirely new set of operations, staff, expenses, etc. Besides, basic business principles will tell you that corporations the size of Apple should usually stick to their niche products rather than attempt to branch out if they don't have the proper systems in place to do so.

My iPod has been broken for months and I'm going to be in the market for a new cellphone in the next few months. I'm your target consumer, Apple! Make me happy! Just make sure you partner with Verizon to make that phone happen!

Culture for the Ones Who Can Pay for It!

Maya Angelou will be speaking at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion on February 23rd. The lowest priced tickets are $50. I know she's an expensive ass speaker to pay for but come on! What the hell is she going to talk about? Am I just being bitchy about this because I haven't seen her speak in YEARS and don't want to pay $50 just to see her speak for a freakin' hour and a half, at best?! What's up Maya?

The LA Music Center has a whole speakers series that individuals can subscribe to. Tickets range between $50-$150. And they scoff at those who are supposedly "uncultured."

first there was the feeling of "something" happening today. then there's the news about the baby girl. then the stupid service reniged on their promise to be at the venue on time. then the call came...i kind of had a feeling.

Life's Soundtrack

Ok, thought this would be kind of fun. :-) Thanks to Ms. Mags & The Joe.

If your life were a soundtrack, what would the music be?

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. New question-- Press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool
(Since I have comedy sketches and spoken word pieces on my Ipod, I get to skip them if it lands there to get to the next song. I'm also going to skip the non-English & Pilipino songs since I don't know the words to those.)

==========

Here goes...

Opening Credits:
Uwawi - Chin Chin Gutierrez

Waking up:
I've Got You Under my Skin - Frank Sinatra (nice uptempo)

First day at school:
If There Ain't Nothing - Res

Falling in love:
The Fact is (I Need You)...of course! - Jill Scott (LOVE HER!)

Breaking up:
É Preciso Perdoar featuring Caetano Veloso - Cesora Evora (only for the grown and sexy, especially with the bass line)

Prom:
Come Smoke my Herb - Me'Shell Ndegéocello...ahahahahha! didn't touch this stuff until college. this should've been "come smoke my cigar" since that period was far more prominent than anything else

Life's okay:
Breathe - Burning Star...ommmm

Mental breakdown:
Carnival - Wyclef Jean...he can get kind of crazy

Driving:
Takin My Time - After 7...he says "girlie" in it! :-)

Flashback:
Hands Up - Black Eyed Peas...not quite a super flashback

Getting back together:
The World's Gone Mad -Handsome Boy Modeling School

Wedding:
Flying High - Jem...so sweet!

Birth of child:
Ifiwouldaknew (Girlnextdoor Remix) - Musiq Soulchild...hm...what's this trying to say?

Final battle:
Things We Said Today - The Beatles

Death scene:
Miss You - Rolling Stones...you better!

Funeral song:
Eternita - Ornella Vanoni...so much emotion, so much drama!

End credits:
Travelling Around - Ethnic Descent...is yet but a dream

It all Makes Sense!

No wonder he hasn't been making really good music for a while! I was kind of late to this news. I just heard mention of it this morning. That one stupid song about "what if she was the one...blah blah blah" was really true!

Kenny 'Babyface' Edmonds and Wife Split
THURSDAY OCTOBER 06, 2005 08:00AM EST
People.com
By Stephen M. Silverman

After September brought what seemed a record number of celebrity breakups – Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis, Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murphy, Tori Spelling and Charlie Shanian, Kathy Griffin and Matt Moline, and Jamie-Lynn DiScala and A.J. DiScala – now comes news that R&B singer-songwriter Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds and his wife Tracey have gone their separate ways.

The husband and wife of 13 years – and parents of two young children – acknowledged in a statement Wednesday that they have been unofficially separated "for quite some time," the Associated Press reports.

"It is with deep regret that we announce our permanent separation. We remain best friends," said the couple, who have also produced movies and TV shows together, including Soul Food.

They also say that they "will continue to work together in our companies, and our various business ventures. ... More importantly, we are parents of two wonderful children, and will continue to provide a loving, caring and stable environment for them."

Besides his own hit songs – "Whip Appeal" and "Change the World" among them – Edmonds has also written for Whitney Houston, Mary J. Blige, Mariah Carey, Bobby Brown and others.

Look at him. Look at how happy he is! I have to ask him to smile whenever we take pictures together. But put him next to a rock with a Pilipino related plaque and he's all smiles!

This was during one of the visits with the fam in Los Osos. Since we were only 15 minutes away from the big rock where the first Pilipinos supposedly landed in North America I figured I'd feed his indelible appetite for all things Pilipino.

I do love his smiley photos more than the ones where he smirks.


Daren & Marius were visiting that weekend. They were the real reasons why we trudged up to Los Osos. I just want to bite them! I'm feel an itch to visit them in Florida next year.

Ipod vs Digital Camera

My ipod has been dead for quite some time. Unfortunately, I never bothered to get the warranty after The Joe gave me the damn thing for my birthday. Is it really necessary for me to get an 80 gig? I don't even listen to everything, it's so large! I think I was more enthralled with the fact that I had the ability to carry around 10,000 songs! After a while, it became more of a storage device. I have about 28 gigs of music uploaded. Hmm...maybe I should get an external hard drive to store the tunes. So many choices!

Then there's a camera. I bought a janky digital camera years ago and has now become greatly outdated. I've done so many cool things with the homies in the past few years but have little to show for aside from the memories, and even that sometimes fails me. Should I, shouldn't I? Maybe I can talk The Joe into getting one so we can share. :-)

Surreal

Here's the view from my new office. It's still hard to believe. To those who know me best, it's always a BEAUTIFUL DAY, even when it's cloudy. :-) Unfortunately, I can't see the beach from where I am. However, I can see the "Think Blue" sign from Dodgers' Stadium as well as the Griffith Observatory if I really stretch my neck that far.

Perspective

I think that's one of the biggest life lessons I've learned thus far. You have to always put everything in perspective. Life may not always be as bad as it seems. We all go through our own dramas but for me, life is not so bad right now. I can definitely say I'm learning tons of stuff and continuing to refine my skills. I thank God that I am no longer in a position where I want to go postal on all my coworkers and that I can truly and honestly see the products and services that are offered at my new organization. How can you not sell the fact that your organization's sole existance rests on the fact that it wants to create positive opportunities and better the community of an entire county?

There are material things that I don't have in my life right now but at the same time, I have more than some people. I can't help but think about where homeless people go when they're pushed from sleeping on the streets. Where do they go once they've been pushed out of Downtown LA - another neighborhood, another city, another county, another state? How about we increase spending on the causes that fight homelessness?

I may not be able to travel as much as I'd like but the opportunity to travel is something that is more obtainable to me than some people. There are children who have never been outside of their own neighborhoods, much less Los Angeles County. As much as the neighborhoods in LA are diverse, it's not entirely like when you physically travel to anothe country to take in the sights, sounds, smells and touches. It's a completely surreal experience being in a locale that you've only seen in pictures and read about in various publications.

Perspective calms me down. Knowing that there is a greater being guiding me on my path keeps me sane. Having confidence that I can overcome challenges keeps me strong and optimistic. Realizing that my life is filled with great love makes me feel blessed.

Weekend of Firsts

Finally got to see Los Amigos Invisibles today! Yes, they are even better live. Every single album and performance I've heard from them has mesmerized me. I will forever thank my lovely Chris for randomly grabbing their cd from Amoeba's racks and turning me on to them. I think they're tied with The Brand New Heavies in my standards. Common was on the bill, as well but had to jet with The Joe to a Galaxy vs. Chivas soccer game.

I was warned that we would be sitting with the fan club for the Galaxy team but I was blown away with all the shouting, singing, chanting, costumes, flags, streamers and other paraphanelia James and his crew had to for the game. The whole experience exceeded all expectations. One of the great things that I stumbled upon as I wondered around the stadium to take a break from the riot was a mini version of Coffee Bean. I say "mini" because their selection was extremely limited - I'm talkin' no morrocan mint latte here! Ah well, everyone can't be perfect.

Gotta love Daily Om. For some reason, during the past few weeks, many things have been mentioned about my penchant for helping people and causes. Hope they're all true.

Unquestionable Capability
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
Your talents may serve you well today, aiding you as you strive to address your duties creatively and carefully. You will likely feel proficient and skillful while handling your outer world affairs and private matters. Success can inspire confidence within you and prompt you to challenge yourself to outperform your past feats. Others may see self-assurance in your achievements and present you with personal and professional proposals that are both demanding and splendidly gratifying. If you find yourself facing adversity, you will likely respond proactively and with great valor. To make the most of the positivity and optimism you feel today, consider applying for a more prestigious position at work or taking up a diversion you’ve shied away from in the past out of uncertainty.

The skill with which we handle our outer world affairs is a reflection of the confidence we feel within. When we believe in our ability to handle every challenge the universe chooses to put in our path, our courage carries us forward, even when we feel overwhelmed by the demands placed upon us. Self-assurance breeds proficiency by motivating us to continue to hone our talents and aptitudes through practice after we have already established ourselves. We approach life’s difficulties practically and with poise, ready to do all we can to restore the security that will mirror the lasting security we feel within. No setback or roadblock can cause us to question our abilities. The more confident you feel today, the more faith you will have in your capacity to overcome adversity.

California Community Foundation, Here I Come!

After months of pulling my hair out but trying to stay calm, I finally landed a job offer with the California Community Foundation last Friday! WOOHOO!!! I cannot describe the amount of excitement I have over this job. It's not just a job. It's a position with one of the oldest and active philanthropic foundations in Los Angeles County. The president is also one of the most dynamic and down to earth woman of color I've had the privelege to speak with. One of the great perks is a window office on the 34th floor of the Union Bank building in Downtown LA. I have a beautiful view of the Music Center, City Hall, Chinatown, Echo Park and the surrounding area. I really didn't expect that. I was going to settle for a nice new cube. My start date as the new Communications Associate is October 2nd. I'll post pictures as soon as I get settled and my office is nicely decorated. From the looks of my director's desk and a few comments I received on Friday as I was getting the grand tour, it doesn't sound like I'll be bored once I start.

Thank you to The Most High for all my many blessings, especially for all my loved ones whose support allowed me to be much stronger than I thought I was throughout this entire period. New challenges and adventures are on the horizon. For now, I'm going to do everything I won't be able to do once I start working full time again.

AW YEAH!

The First

For some reason, it's different going to a wedding of a high school friend that graduted with you. The reminiscing begins, particularly since we will arrive at our 10th year reunion next year.

This past weekend The Joe and I attended my friend, Ron's wedding. He and Amanda had the ceremony and reception at a Sacramento winery. As I had feared, there was no shade. Unfortunately, I left my parisol at home so there was no way out of it. I spent most of the ceremony shielding the sun with the pi-pi I recieved from a prior wedding. As the evening progressed, a breeze began to blow and brought some much needed relief to the occasion.

To my surprise, more people than I had expected have actually settled down since high school, well somewhat. The ever so intelligently funny, Dave Pace is now happily married to a fellow UCLA PhD Physics candidate, Ann. She strives to be a lifetime student as much as Joe. What Physics PhD holders do after academia is a bit beyond my reach but I'm sure they have their share of fun. Randy fascetiously stated how Dave and Ann's children will most likely be solving calculus problems when they're 5 years old. Ron obtained his MBA about two years ago, I believe. (That reminds me. I need to snag the GMAT review materials I sent him a while back.) Ron's wife, Amanda, holds a masters degree in Psychology, I think. Randy has a burgeoning career in sales but more importantly, comedy and now lives in Sacramento with his younger sister, niece and a female roommate. It sounds like he's getting his act in gear to be more active in the entertainment industry so can't wait to see him bust out. Ms. Amanda Secor is now also married and lives somewhere in the East Coast - Boston, I think. Her military husband is on duty in Japan. At least it's not the Middle East.

All of us mentioned that we didn't want to go anywhere near our reunion. I'd go based on the guests, venue, food/beverages and cost of the event. I'm not paying $75 for a rinky dink event. I need to be entertained the entire freakin' damn night.

That leads me to ask, is 10 years after high school really enough for us to "make something of ourselves?" Who do I know from high school with advanced degrees or are working on them? - Barnett, Ron, Debbie, Lea, Becca, Celina, Dave, Ceferina, Sara. I think that's about it, at least to my knowledge.

So what's the need to have "accomplished" something by the time of our high school reunion? Can't we simply state that I've finally reached the point in my life where I'm comfortable with myself whole-heartedly? I think that's a major accomplishment within itself. How many people can state that at our age? How many people have come to realize that without comparison to the lives of others? Is this lame to ask? But I truly feel that too much time is wasted on worrying whether you're better than someone else. Why be ashamed of your personal growth? I guess I would go to our high school reunion, only if the emphasis on accomplishment is not completely based on material possessions.

Dedication in Purposes

Gotta love DailyOm.com!

Capricorn Daily Horoscope
You may feel purposeful and reliable today as you address your personal and professional responsibilities. A strong sense of purpose can drive you to devote yourself more fully to those activities and obligations that are related to your short- and long-term goals. Your commitment to fulfilling your purpose can give you extra energy and enthusiasm that can be channeled into both work and play. You may project an aura of dedication that causes people in positions of authority to take notice of and put their faith in you. An opportunity to advance in your career, change jobs, study at a university or abroad, or take a relationship to the next level may present itself today. You’ll likely cope with these changes in your day-to-day life with poise and grace today.

Understanding your soul’s purpose can help you maintain a strong attitude of dedication that makes fulfilling your obligations a joyful experience. When we drift aimlessly through life, the responsibilities we assume can seem a burdensome and aimless expenditure of time. Knowledge of purpose gives activity meaning by enabling you to comprehend the broader repercussion of your choice to devote yourself to a single path. Your resolve is cemented by the connection you feel to your purpose and the pride you feel upon accomplishing tasks that relate directly to the fulfillment of that purpose. In commitment, you will find satisfaction unlike any you’ve experienced before. Because your purpose is clear today, you will have little trouble fulfilling the expectations you have set for yourself.

I made it to the second round for the Communications Associate position with the California Community Foundation. I need to complete a writing assignment by Monday morning and I need to make it immaculate. They're making me work for the position and I'm going to show them that I will be worth all the money and time!

a passion for creativity = an enthusiasm to create change = the power to fight for equality

After being on so many interviews and phone conversations about positions, I'm starting to warm up to the idea of not working in the Pilipino community anymore. More challenges = more growth. I'm keeping positive thoughts flowing. Need to be stringent on spending for now. Will remember that things will work out and that the Most High has great plans for me.

i'm exhausted and i'm starting to worry more. i know the most high will take care but this is starting to get ridiculous. or at least i think it's starting to get ridiculous. be calculated. be persistant. be confident. be true. be uncomprimising and don't settle. must keep moving up. must keep moving.

Song for the Moment

Timeless by Sergio Mendes
Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody that you care

In the world that we live in
Everybody wants to be so cool
To be in the in-crowd
Got the hottest clothes,the hottest shoes
We're reading the tabloids
And we're flossing in the club
But the freshest thing you can do is
Give someone your love

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody you care

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment to...

Give someone your love
To give someone your lalala love
To give someone your love
Give someone your love
Your lalalala love
Give someone your lalala love

The clothes that your wearing
It will one day be out of style
The car that your driving
One day will vax out in miles
Your hair and your makeup
And the time that it takes up
It will take the same care of
Ya give someone ya love

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody you care

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment to...

To give someone your love
To give someone your lalala love
To give someone your love
Give someone your love
Your lalalala love
Give someone your lalala love

Give someone you love
Cause kindness is timeless

feeling very melancholy today. my job situation needs to solidify really soon. i don't know how much more i can take of this.

Still Catching Up

Myspace is a craze that has gone corporate. About two or three months ago, it was purchased by Rupert Murdoch/News Corporation. Since then, Myspace has been on television shows, films, commercials, books, everything you can think of...possibly because Murdoch owns them.

Friends at Google Corporate HR also mentioned that as part of their background check, they also look through Myspace. They check to see if their candidates have a site and get any additional information they can find on that person. What?!

I was fine when hiring managers and HR professionals told me they "googled" candidates to see what they could find on them but Myspace, too?

The USC Annenberg School for Communication is starting courses that study online communities and will most likely use Myspace as their "textbook."

The main reason why I decided to get a site was specifically for my family. For some reason those fools really aren't telephone talkers so that's the only way I know what the hell is going on in their lives.

I don't communicate with my friends through the online community unless I really have to. Maybe I'm just old fashioned like that. But I've always been slow to all the new haps, especially when I've been so used to speaking with people directly.

I don't use Myspace for networking and it has never been my intention to do so. Recently I've been asked to and I'm still thinking about it.....

Voyage to India on Repeat

India Arie is one of my favorite artists because, quite simply, she puts out good, honest music. I remember seeing her for the first time as the opening act for Sade in Mountain View. She tried to get people to stand up and dance and she jokingly said something to the affect, "When I come back a bigger star, I guess it'll be easier to get you out of our seats." Let me just say that I was dancing to you, girl!

Voyage to India is one of those cds I can have on repeat for months on end. In fact, I did when I first got a hold of it. This is definitely one of my gems in my collection. She addresses so many life lessons. "The Little Things" pays tribute to the simple things that make our lives that much more happy. "Growth" reminds us that change is the only constant in our lives so we might as well get used to it. It's all a part of the journey. "The Truth" is a perfect metaphor for that person who is just the right fit for you. A fit that's complementary to you nuances. "Beautiful Surprise" is another lovey dovey song that gives thanks to meeting that perfect person, especially when you weren't looking. I can attest to the natural high she sings of in this song. That special person will make you want to love him/her more each and every day even through arguments. "Get it Together" essentially says, learn from hurt and figure out how to heal. I can go on and on about this album. Basically, all the songs speak to me in one way or another.

Ms. Arie, thank you producing such great music. Listening to your tunes always uplifts my soul.

waiting

i went on a great job interview yesterday and determined that i really want it. i know it's bad to place all your hopes in one job that you have not received confirmation on but damnit i REALLY want it! the more i started to hear about the position and the foundation, the more i kept thinking, "was this job made for me? how is it that it fell on my lap?"

the foundation is in their first round of interviews and expect to have someone in place by the first of august, at the very latest. the hiring manager is going to be on vacation sometime during the middle of next month and doesn't want to start anyone while she's away. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that they call me back for a second interview.

damnit, i want it!

I received some relief today. It wasn't exactly celebrated as well as I had hoped. After numerous hours of being on my feet and agravation here and there throughout the day, it would have been nice to come home to something that was a bit more welcoming than what I experienced tonight. I just wanted about an hour of senseless television to relieve some tension and I ended up having to fight for what I wanted to watch from a nonresident! I guess it was too much to ask from a person who ALWAYS hogs the television especially during some petty game for the petty pleasure of watching a nonLA resident continue to prove why he's a great ballplayer.

What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

Has that proverbial question finally smacked me in the face? I'm in the midst of looking for a new position and there have been a few signs that point to that question and suggestions that I should have a plan. To what extent should I have a plan?

When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be able to look down on the planet and see the clouds swirling as the planet rotated in the universe. I wanted to be among the clouds of dust and particles in space and witness the miracles of the universe. But then I found out that most astronauts have scientific backgrounds. Science was fun for a while but never really my forte since I grew to learn that scientists spend most of their time in labs and don't really interact with people, which is what I'm more inclined to do.

As I became older, I found my leadership skills. I took on various student leadership positions that allowed me to interact with students, teachers, administrators and other school district officials. I really loved to see the whole school policy process take place. With all of that came the understanding of politics and lobbying.

College hit and I took a backseat to all the "leadership activities" that I did in high school. It didn't take very long until I was at it again. I was extremly active in the AS organization as well as various other related activities on campus and off campus. All the while, maintaining decent grades in my business program. I event attempted to get an ethnic studies certificate but it would have taken me another semester and more money, which was not an option. Along the way, I gained experience in the human resources field and marketing. Through all my experience in college, I gravitated towards marketing but if I ever had to, I could work in a human resources field but again...not really something I want to completely pursue.

Today, I find myself in LA, foreign territory. As I drove to work today, I started to recount my years spent at Kaplan. How many significant things did I really learn there? I learned how NOT to run a company, especially one the size of Kaplan, Inc. - an international conglomerate. I remember getting the opportunity to look at demographic and sales data and being a part of the planning process for classes and other test prep products and I remember how excited I was. It was finally something that allowed me to use my brain a bit more. Up to that point, I was droning away at the computer, performing tasks on Quark that required minimal knowledge of the program. I found so many ways to create shortcuts that I accomplished tasks in no time. Since I was among the two people who knew that program inside and out, I managed to survive four or five re-structures of the company, at least in the region I helped to manage.

During my last two years at Kaplan, I startd to get involved with community activities again. I started to re-build my network outside of work. Most of my community activities have been spent with the Pilipino American community, one that's still very young in getting politically and socially organized. All the while, I've tried to stick to the field that I have the most expertise in - marketing/public relations/promotions/event planning. So I guess that's what I want to be when I grow up. It'd be even better if I get into a company that will help offset some of my costs to get an MBA but again, how much value will an MBA add to my abilities? That's another question that I haven't quite been able to answer yet.

Another Reason Why Catholicism isn't All it's Cracked Out to Be

And they ask why non-Catholics AND Catholics are disillusioned with the religion. I hardly believe kneeling vs. not kneeling should be categorized as a mortal sin. Fanatical?...hm....

A Ban on Kneeling? Some Catholics Won't Stand for It
By David Haldane
LA Times Staff Writer

May 28, 2006

At a small Catholic church in Huntington Beach, the pressing moral question comes to this: Does kneeling at the wrong time during worship make you a sinner?

Kneeling "is clearly rebellion, grave disobedience and mortal sin," Father Martin Tran, pastor at St. Mary's by the Sea, told his flock in a recent church bulletin. The Diocese of Orange backs Tran's anti-kneeling edict.

Though told by the pastor and the archdiocese to stand during certain parts of the liturgy, a third of the congregation still gets on its knees every Sunday.

"Kneeling is an act of adoration," said Judith M. Clark, 68, one of at least 55 parishioners who have received letters from church leaders urging them to get off their knees or quit St. Mary's and the Diocese of Orange. "You almost automatically kneel because you're so used to it. Now the priest says we should stand, but we all just ignore him."

The debate is being played out in at least a dozen parishes nationwide.

Since at least the 7th century, Catholics have been kneeling after the Agnus Dei, the point during Mass when the priest holds up the chalice and consecrated bread and says, "Behold the lamb of God." But four years ago, the Vatican revised its instructions, allowing bishops to decide at some points in the Mass whether their flocks should get on their knees. "The faithful kneel … unless the Diocesan Bishop determines otherwise," says Rome's book of instructions. Since then, some churches have been built without kneelers.

The debate is part of the argument among Catholics between tradition and change. Traditionalists see it as the ultimate posture of submission to and adoration of God; modernists view kneeling as the vestige of a feudal past they would like to leave behind.

At the center of the controversy is the church's concept of Christ, said Jesuit Father Lawrence J. Madden, director of the Georgetown Center for Liturgy at Georgetown University in Washington. It's a question raised in the bestselling book "The Da Vinci Code."

Because the earliest Christians viewed Jesus as God and man, Madden said, they generally stood during worship services to show reverence and equality. About the 7th century, however, Catholic theologians put more emphasis on Christ's divinity and introduced kneeling as the only appropriate posture at points in the Mass when God was believed to be present.

Things started to change in the 1960s, Madden said, when Vatican II began moving the church back to its earliest roots. What has ensued, he said, is the predictable struggle of an institution revising centuries of religious practices.

The argument over kneeling, Madden said, is "a signal of the division in the church between two camps: those who have caught the spirit of Vatican II, and those who are a bit suspicious. Because it's so visible, what happens at the Sunday worship event is a lightning rod for lots of issues."

One flashpoint involves the Agnus Dei. Traditionalists say the faithful must then fall to their knees in awe for several minutes, believing that the bread and wine are literally the body and blood of Christ.

Lesa Truxaw, the Orange Diocese director of worship, said Bishop Tod D. Brown banned kneeling because standing "reflects our human dignity. It's not that we think we're equal to God, but we recognize that we are made in the image and likeness of God."

Orange County parishioners are still allowed to kneel at other points in the Mass, including the Eucharistic prayers. Kneeling is optional as worshippers receive communion.

No less an authority than the pope is on record as favoring kneeling. Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, who became Pope Benedict XVI last year, wrote in "The Spirit of the Liturgy," published in 2000, that the gesture, "comes from the Bible and the knowledge of God." He has not addressed the issue as pope.

American Catholic bishops have taken the opposite position. "Standing can be just as much an expression of respect for the coming of Christ," said Msgr. Anthony F. Sherman, a spokesman for the liturgy secretariat of the U.S. Bishops Committee on the Liturgy based in Washington.

That hasn't quieted critics.

"It's hard to understand why any bishop would prohibit his people from expressing reverence in the way they have done for centuries," said Helen Hull Hitchcock, a founder of the conservative Adoremus Society for the Renewal of Sacred Liturgy in St. Louis.

The controversy at St. Mary's by the Sea began to intensify late last year after Brown appointed Tran to lead the 1,500-family parish.

Tran took over following the retirement of the church's longtime pastor, who had offered a popular traditional Latin Mass.

Tran's Mass reverted to the more modern English form practiced in most American churches, and hundreds of parishioners signed a petition in protest. Then, to pull the church into the modern era, the priest told members, they were not to kneel after the Agnus Dei.

Many refused to comply. "Not kneeling would be sinful," said Manuel Ruiz, 45, "because that is what I believe I should do."

Mary Tripoli, 54, a former member of the parish council, was dismissed for her insistence on kneeling: "Standing may be reverence, but kneeling is adoration. It's the one thing that means Catholicism throughout the world. It's what sets us apart."

At least two altar boys, the parish altar servers coordinator and three members of the parish council have been dismissed from their duties for kneeling at the wrong time, according to parishioners.

Angered by the anti-kneeling edict, a group calling itself Save Saint Mary's began distributing leaflets calling for its return outside church each Sunday.

Tran responded in the church bulletin with a series of strident weekly statements condemning what he called "despising the authority of the local bishop" by refusing his orders to stand, and calling the disobedience a mortal sin, considered the worst kind of offense, usually reserved for acts such as murder.

Tran sent letters to 55 kneeling parishioners "inviting" them to leave the parish and the diocese for, among other things, "creating misleading confusion, division and chaos in the parish by intentional disobedience and opposition to the current liturgical norms."

Father Joe Fenton, spokesman for the Diocese of Orange, said the diocese supports Tran's view that disobeying the anti-kneeling edict is a mortal sin. "That's Father Tran's interpretation, and he's the pastor," he said. "We stand behind Father Tran."

Recipients of Tran's banishment letter said they have declined his "invitation" to depart.

Kneeling, said Teri Carpentier, 50, is praying "with our bodies, not just our minds."

During a recent Saturday afternoon Mass, dozens of worshippers defiantly knelt after the Agnus Dei.

One who didn't was Winifred Mentzer, 84.

"I've been standing lately," she later said, "because I'm all the way up front, and I know that the priest is watching. But I'm kneeling in my heart."

Romantic Nostalgia

So I admit to my romanticized memories of San Francisco. I haven't been there in a while and I'm starting to really crave for the cold air hitting my skin, the sweeping vistas of Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Angel Island, Pacific Heights, Twin Peaks, Golden Gate Park and Downtown SF from Lone Mountain. I miss depending on either the Geary or Balboa line to get me to where I want to be. I miss huffing and puffing my way up and down those damn hills. I miss the rare warm days sitting on the grass enjoying the few sunny sunny days The City gets. First goal after I get a new job - make a trip to SF AND Napa for an olive oil tour and wine tasting.

final numbers

finally was able to get final numbers from our event two weeks ago. i'm not really jumping out of me seat. sponsorships were up, as well as advertising and silent auctions. all expenses were lower than last year but overall, the net gain was about $2K more than last year. boo! :-(

out of commission again today. damn this cold! i ended up leaving after making a few phone calls and holding back my disgusting coughs. strange but it's stopped now that i'm home. hmmmm...interesting.

doh! damnit...tonight myspace became the black hole of my existance!

by the way, stomp is a little overrated after you've already seen way too many variations of tinikling and that other pilipino traditional dance where all the dancers are performing with two sticks in their hands and beating them to the music beat. witnessing other ethnic indigenous dances that use non-western instruments probably didn't heighten the stomp experience either. at some points in the performance, i thought of a group of kids throwing a tantrum and grabbing any possible thing in their midst to make large banging noises to add on to their frustrations.

at least i can say i saw it. thank goodness the tickets were free! thanks joey!

Praise the Lord in Heaven that SIPA's benefit dinner is done done done!!! Of course there were glitches along the way and plenty of people I want to choke hold but it's done and I'm releasing...and continuing on with my job search. Holla if you got some leads!

I've figured it out. Karaoke is only for those with really bad vocals, at least in public. I was contemplating this as I was watching the Lakers' game last night at Max's in Glendale and listening to people amuse themselves with their so-called talents.

I know I will offend some friends in saying this. But I truly think that is why people get on the Karaoke machines in public. There has to be some ounce of humor in the performance or it's just plain boring when someone that can stay on key and in time performs! It's not as funny. I was thinking back on all the moments The Joe and his friends have made me sit through those sessions and each time, they've attempted something humorous to make the experience somewhat enjoyable, at least for me. I think that's often times why I don't want to sing since I don't know really know how I can be funny on the mic unless you're like The Joe and expounds on some Tagalog song that speaks to how a Lola warns her grandchild about falling in love with someone that's not exactly in the same "breeding quality" as her family.

Yes, I do roll my eyes often when the word, "karaoke" even comes up. Yes, sometimes I do feel as if I'm being tortured. Yes, I do require a significant amount of intoxication to get me in the right mood to completely "play along." I can't help it. It's hard to listen to not so good stuff when you try to surround yourself with really good sounds all the time, especially in the crazy situations I often get myself into.

But just because I hate karaoke doesn't mean I don't love my friends and, I guess, my Joey. Just don't expect me to be the first to suggest this kind of entertainment.

Someone read my mind today!

Creating Confidence
Capricorn Daily Horoscope

You may begin to doubt your ability to provide for yourself today. This sense of insecurity could stem from anxiety over your obligations or challenges you may currently be facing. If you can look at your life with an optimistic eye and consider every problem to be a blessing in disguise, you’ll likely regain your confidence about your ability to shoulder your many responsibilities. Consider how well you have dealt with challenges in the past. To do so again, you may simply need to change your outlook and start to believe in your ability to find solutions. Today can be a wonderful time to create a step-by-step plan for seeing to your obligations.

Approaching our concerns with the notion that everything will work out allows us to put our worries aside and concentrate on seeking constructive solutions. In choosing to assume that a situation will turn out all right, our mental state gradually shifts to one where we become confident that we can deal with any problem. We also begin to have faith in our abilities. This optimism can keep us cheerful and practical-minded through good and bad times. Our positive mind-set allows us to see the possibilities rather than dwelling on concerns. Adopt a positive outlook today, and you will be able to focus on what needs to be done rather than worrying about what may or may not happen.

What I did for Mike's Spring Break

Just one of the many things...



Oh yes, the boy was hurting the next day but he had one hell of a ride! Take 2...

A New Stage

All the time I was wondering what the heck I wanted to do with myself and someone makes the decision for me. It's time to go back to corporate life, at least for right now. Time to build up more capital for myself and for The Joe, as he'd like to think, while continuing with all the community stuff as before. It's certainly been a wonderful time and I can fully understand the complexities of working in such an environment. I am also greatful for all the support I've received, personally and professionally...moving with courage and confidence.

Keeping Conscious

Here's a few things to remind all of us to live with meaning.

1. Live simply and live deliberately. By choosing not to get caught up in the details of this fast-paced world, you are doing your part to slow down the . You will also discover that you have more time to enjoy being alive.

2. Stay in touch with yourself. Soul searching, meditation, and journaling are just a few of the many activities you can take part in to stay aware and learn as much as you can about your emotions, reactions, likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears. Having a solid sense of self gives you a firm foundation for living in this world.

3. Support or teach others as often as you can. This can help you form connections with people while also giving you an opportunity to make the world a better place.

4. Consciously choose what you will allow into your being. The media bombards us with visions of hate, war, and pain. Be judicious about what you read, watch, and listen to.

5. Acknowledge the beauty that resides around you. Whether you live in a sprawling metropolis or a stereotypical suburb, there are natural and man-made wonders just waiting to be discovered by you.

6. Nurture your ties to your tribe. If you don't have one, create a community that you can belong to. Modern life can be isolating. When you have a tribe, you have a circle that you are a part of. Its members - loved ones, friends, or neighbors - can be a source of support, caring, guidance, and companionship.

7. See the larger picture. Remember that the way that you choose to live is not the only way to live. Widen your perspective by exploring other modes of being through research, travel, and discussion.

8. Embrace the challenges that life presents to you, and challenge yourself often. After a time, even the most exciting jobs or lifestyles can seem routine. Never stop assimilating new knowledge about whatever you are doing, and your life will never seem dull.

9. Move your body. In this busy world, it can be easy to live a sedentary life. Movement reacquaints us with our bodies and connects us to the earth in a visceral way. It also restores our vitality.

10. Make time for stillness, silence, and solitude. The world can be noisy, and we are subject to all kinds of noises nearly every waking hour. We are also often "on the go" and unable to relax. Being alone in a peaceful place and making time for quiet can help you stay in touch with yourself.

A New Baby

One of my lovely friends was down for a visit this past weekend. I took two days off to spend some time with her and always to take a breather from work. It's been very nice.

It was wonderful catching up with her. She's one of my friends whom I will die with and we will always have each other's back. She can finish my sentences when I don't know how to verabalize my thoughts. She understands the intonations in my sentences and just knows me even during the times when I can't see me.

Before she left, we talked again about starting our own business. We've been scheming about several different ideas for the past five years. I don't think it's necessarily about making money at the end of the day but being able to work for ourselves and doing things we really like to do has been the draw. Being able to work with a white canvass is something that has always attracted the two of us, as well. Some good thoughts were definitely shared. Maybe in the next three years?

A much needed breather

I've been working 9-11 hour days in the past few weeks. This doesn't really count the amount of additional time I spend at home so maybe the count should be more like 10-15 hours. I'm finally taking off tomorrow and Wednesday for some much needed rest. My throat has been scratchy for the past few days so I've been trying to fight that off, too.

I had a little yoga session this morning. I've forgotten how good a little meditation and movement feels first thing in the morning. For some reason, I've been waking up around 7am/7:30am for the past few weeks. Maybe my body is finally trying to regulate itself.

My day and evening were going relatively well until a little situation irked me around dinner. A few of us were gathering at our friends' place and I couldn't find parking on the main street. I had to park in the back of their alley and pass through a portion of the street that was semi-blocked by four car-loads of guys. They had their cars on and were parked on the street talking to each other like no one else was going to drive on the damn street. I'm not really one to ask to be walked somewhere, so you'd think one of the few times I'd ask, the one person who I thought would not question me or put up a fuss did. I was so hurt. And then the stupid prick attempts to playfully make peace by playfully...hell no...bastard! No apology as of yet, at least not a sincere one.

Tomorrow is a new day. I'll do some light work first thing in the morning and wait for Gellie and Bernie to get their asses over here. I don't understand why they haven't figured out that the 405 is the worst freeway to take in this area. Ah well...some people gotta get smacked on the ass a few times before they really get it.

Sad joePod

OMG! Tragedy struck today...my joePod went sad.

I made myself not overreact and calmy went to apple.com to see what they had listed under support. You know it's not a good thing when there's a direct link with the same icon on their homepage for iPod support. After going through all the steps I still couldn't fix it. The primary scare was that I don't have all my songs saved in iTunes so in cases like this, there is major reason to panic.

Then my lovely friend, Hiyas recommends I look through the forums since they are most often times more help than the "geniuses" at the Genius Bar. After reading over the forums, I found one discussion that related to my case. The last resort was to throw it against something and shake it up a bit. I didn't go through exactly the same extent but after I tried resetting it again after I shook it a little, it went into data mode and the light turned on! WOOHOO! Tragedy averted!

I'm currently uploading everything I have in joePod back into my iTunes playlist...never again! Thank you Jesus! I'm still taking it into the Genius Bar to make sure I've updated joePod's software correctly.

Mercury, you suck big knockers right now!

why am i fighting against myself? wtf! another blunder that's costing me a ton! i need some clarity and it needs to fuckin stick!

fun project of the day

just got approved for a grant to create a multi-media program at SIPA. that means all apple products including adobe photoshop, illustrator, indesign and possibly final cut pro and more ram! woohoo! i'm spending someone else's money to buy stuff i luv luv luv! the only downer is that i might end up taking on some of the tech support and training until we get a professional in here.

thank you, oh heavens above for all the days and new challenges you give me. but damnit...mercury in retrogade sucks ass! first strike today kinda hurts!

I HATE THE CITY'S BUILDING AND SAFETY DEPARTMENT!!! I had to call them to get information on a variance that I need to get in order to build a higher fence at our office. They put me on hold for freakin' 18.57 minutes!!! I have it recorded on my damn cell phone. When the stupid code engineer finally answered, he spent TWO FREAKIN' MINUTES talking with me to answer my damn question!!! FIND A BETTER WAY TO ANSWER FREAKIN' QUESTIONS! GET ON EMAIL, BASTARDS! mfs!

had an annual physical today...kind of like getting your car checked up. weird. waiting for the test results from all the fluids they extracted from my body. THANK GAWD they found the freakin' vein in my arm the first time they stuck the needle in it! one of the times i had to get blood drawn, the damn nurse poked around under my skin trying to find it. she wasn't successful and stuck with a "baby needle" on the top of my hand which HURT MUCH MORE! baby needle my ass!

this is the first time i've been a member of kaiser. thank you, most high for the fact that i can critique my experience with my health provider! i felt like i was being put through an assembly line. after my initial doctor's appt., i went downstairs to the lab to get blood drawn. they gave everyone numbers. when mine was called, i entered a hallway that lead to where 8 people were drawing blood for patients with numbers. weird. i wonder how long the 8 people spent just drawing blood from patients each day. i think the whole visit contributed to my anxiety of being in a hospital like setting. i practically grew up in them because of my dad. i still get messed up walking around in the damn hallways and elevators that all look the same. even the signs that tell you where you're going and where you are look the same so i rarely pay attention to them. if i ever get hospitalized (knocking on wood), i'd never leave my room for fear that i would never find my way back!

Ok, so I was raving about this cd when it was being blasted during KCRW's membership drive but I'm starting to give it second thoughts. The majority of songs are classic sambas and other Brazilian standards that artists have sampled world-wide. Timeless is filled with great reworked beats but a part of me feels like Mendes' artistry and contributions take a back seat to all the American Hip Hop/R&B stars that accompany his arrangements on this album. I think I may also be partially blinded by the fact that the Black Eyed Peas, aka Will.I.Am, haven't really been on my top 10 list of Hip Hop groups since they took on their female member and the depth of their lyrics began to erode. The songs that Will.I.Am raps on sound like every up tempo Black Eyed Peas song that's on their latest album...whoopty freakin' do! Can we be a little more original? So I admit that I may be a little over critical of this album but again it sounds like the producers and other contributors were going for a more "marketable" and "commercial" sound than really focusing on the artistry of the project. You be the judge.

listening

sometimes it's ok if the person you're speaking to can't give you advice on how to handle a challenging situation. it's probably because you really do have to figure out the answer on your own.

and sometimes, it truly does help to vent out your frustrations with someone else, which really does sometimes lead to your solution.

Dinner Season

Damn...I can feel it. It's been nonstop today. I hate unproductive ass meetings where people just like to hear themselves talk. What the hell are you going to call a damn meeting for if you nothing results from it! Some people!

I feel like I have 50 million things to take care of at home plus all the crap I have to take care of at work...weekends are made to just stay home. Thank goodness this only happens for a little while.

time to get my act in gear, time to start saving more, time to start taking care of myself more (spiritually and physically)...staying positive

Hero?

In the past week after the Pacquiao/Morales boxing match, everyone has been buzzing about their beloved "Pacman." Everyone, as in, all Pilipinos including my very dear Joe.

The main reason for my non-bandwagon jumping ass is that I'm highly disturbed that the Philippines and Pilipinos around the world, have found a new persona to place their "heroic" labels on, yet again. I can see it now. When Pacquiao retires from boxing, one of his "homies" is going to talk him into running for office and there you have it...the tradition of non-qualified elected officials and the Philippines being at the bottom of the international economy continues. I'm SO looking forward to it!

Ok, maybe I'm making too many assumptions. Who's to say that he'll decline pleas of running for office? Who's to say the he won't genuinely become more politically active and informed? So maybe he will be a great leader some day but that day has yet to come!

The bottom line is that Pilipinos have a history of placing "famous" people on pedastals as if they know all, see all, hear all, comman all. In general, expectations are set for falsely idolized individuals as high as God sometimes! And when things go awry, the blame gets placed on those individuals who were elected or put in charge. Shouldn't the blame go to the people who elected the person to office? (This, in particular, applies to all the Bush mo-fus, too.) The good leaders or at least the ones with a little more ethics are the ones who decline to be in such a position of power because they personally feel that they are unqualified for the duties. The ones who have helped to keep in the Philippines in disarray as well as maintain its wonderful status of "developing country" are most likely those who are in power and will most likely stay in power for the rest of the country's natural being.

Is there hope? If so, what kind of hope may that be? Can the country be "saved"? I'd like to remain optimistic. But just like my uncle who tills the talon and struggles to send my cousins to school, one at a time, it's difficult to keep hope if you get pushed down so often.

Security Measures

As much as BofA irritates me, they saved my ass this morning. A representative from their Fraud Detection office called me this morning asking me if I had authorized a check that was WAY more than what was in my check account right now. I didn't recognize the name of the person or the company's name that was on the check! SCARY that someone would have that much info on me to be able to do that!!! Bastards!

I filed my claim with BofA and went through the steps of closing my account and getting a new one. The only drawback is that I don't get new checks until next week and I don't have auto deposit on my paycheck for this cycle. The nice BofA rep I was dealing with at the Chinatown branch was kind enough to offer me a free cashier's check if I needed it before my actual checks arrived.

Lessons learned -
1. Don't make online payments or do online banking over unsecured wireless networks...never again!
2. Make sure your firewall is functioning the entire time!
3. Keep your account info as confidential as possible, particularly to those who have absolutely no business having it.
4. NEVER NEVER carry your social security card on you! If your wallet gets stolen with the card, it makes it that much easier to apply for finance with your identity...yes speaking from experience! After that, I've made it virtually impossible for other people to apply for finance under my identity and have made it even more difficult for me to get credit...may have a been a good thing for me. :-)

Safe shopping, my lovelies!

Letting go

It's good to verbalize and write down thoughts...just to get them off your chest...somewhat. :-)

Screeeeech

I was raked across the coals today. I kind of had a feeling it was coming but everything was constructive to hear. Would've been nice to have had the expectations explained explicitly to me from the very beginning. It was kind of a blur when I transitioned from one position to another.

Does it matter that I take a little more time to process when someone is yelling at me?

searching...

for a mood but haven't quite found one that fits yet

Last one for tonight

As much as I hate The Joe and some of his tendencies, this one's for him because I can just picture how big of a smile he'll have on his face.

My current tv obsession

Thank the stars for Google Video!!! This one's for my fellow obsessed roomie! "I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING!!!" ahahahahah!

My all time favorite cartoon!!!

The writers of this show were geniuses! Where are they now?!

One of My Toy Stores

This is going on this week. :-( Unfortunately, I can't say I've ever gone. Some of my friends up North are going tomorrow. I'd totally let the nerd part of my personality take over and go romping around through Yerba Buena Gardens and the Moscone Center to check out all the new toys and accessories! I would've gone stir crazy at the Apple store yesterday if The Joe wasn't around.

Another candle

Thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday this past weekend. Wonderful food was shared over dinner with wonderful company. Many blessings to you all and may this year continue to bring your more joy, strength and fun surprises.

A Tradition I wasn't Raised On

As much as I love creative activities, I'm bored by parades. The famed Pasadena Rose Bowl happened yesterday and I was astounded at how many people waited OVERNIGHT and sat in the rain to watch the entire thing. I guess it's a tradition that I was just not raised on but for some reason I've always hated parades. I remember being in the homecoming parade at school and although there was a significant number of people watching the parade, I remember spending hours upon hours looking for various resources to decorate the stupid float and then spending 20 mins. on the stupid float. Senior year, I was so stressed from all the planning for the homecoming float, I got sick and had to be dragged home by Michael and Matt and remember looking back through Mike's hatchback window at everyone working on the float. Trauma...maybe not. I've disliked parades for as long as I can remember, way before high school.

Looking for...

snow gear

I never go up and I'm spending New Year's Eve weekend with the Bernardo clan in Big Bear. Why would I ever need to get snow gear if I'm rarely there?

So I'm looking around for gear and The Joe is of no help to me. "I have to look for my own clothes." fucker.

It's Official

Advent season is now over and it is now officialy the Christmas seasons, through January 6th, that is. For those unfamiliar with the traditions and beliefs of our Catholic lives and upbringing, the Christmas season begins December 25th and ends on January 6th, the date biblical scholars believe to be the date when the Three Wise Men reached Baby Jesus.

I think I'm getting out of my bah-humbug phase. I still feel a little bit of it lingering. What can I say...opening presents and sometimes exchanging them really doesn't do it for me anymore. What's gotten me to start stepping out of the phase is my godson, JJ, running to me as I walked through their door and giving me a great big hug and telling me that he missed me and then plots a big fat kiss on my cheek. Anyone who can't react positively to that is really smoking some major crack. His sister, Jelisa, was as cute as can be in her frilly plaid and velvet Christmas dress, going around trying to eat everything with her chubby little fingers and cheeks that scream out, "pinch me, pinch me!" She is one of the friendliest two year olds I have ever met on the earth! She loves being held by anyone but likes her space when she feels like it and even tells you when to change her diaper by handing you a clean one! Ev was telling me that JJ doesn't like coloring with crayons and staying in lines but loves to paint for hours...goes after his ninang's heart! I hated coloring in lines and much preferred free-form art in elementary school. Both of them are super duper smart. When I was getting ready to leave, JJ gave me another big hug and said he was going to miss me. I can't wait to see them again in the Spring when they come down to go to Legoland. Since I've never been there, I figure I'd take the opportunity and go play with them. :-)

Afterwards, I went back to Auntie Inday's house to tsismis with more of my family and The Monster came running to give me a big hug and kiss as I walked to the family room where he had already gotten to the mahjong set and was creating space ships...just like the ones Aniken rides in. Oh, and apparently he's not Pilipino, he's Aniken-not just a name but a way of life. The Monster, aka Sebastian, has definitely lost a ton of his baby fat. He's as old as JJ but The Monster is about a foot taller.

If this keeps up, I'm really going to want some of my own in the near future. I have yet to see my god daughter so hopefully I can go spoil her tomorrow.

Something fun...

Your Birthdate: January 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Me...discriminate?

Ugh...I was just looking for information on a particular Pilipino family and happened to come across a entertainment gossip website. There were passages about some Pinoy star having a bday at a freakin' restaurant in LA's Chinatown (how fab?! ) and the how she just moved in to a condo in Marina Del Rey and is paying an arm and leg for the monthly rent (even more fab! ). Apparently the journalist was highly impressed.

A few other passages down the page covers the same star's babyshower or something with the same damn people and even more pseudo fabs and wanna be's.

Damn...I'm being such a hater. I don't even know these people. There's just something about the tendencies of OVERLY ma-arte Pinoys that rubs me the wrong way. At least with SOME American celebrities, I can respect them for their art and other societal contributions! But overall, I do detest what fame can do to some people.

because of procrastination...

Just what I was thinking!

December 22, 2005
Staying Afloat Amidst The Spin
Taking Things Personally

Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.

If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.

When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.

One cure for my ailments

Jill Scott - Beautifully Human

This one goes on the all-time best albums list. Every time I feel down, this album always lifts my mood, especially "Family Reunion." It makes me miss my family but creates the mood where you can revel in the fact that your family is crazy but you love them anyway.

My roomie and I love "My Petition," Ms. Scott's loveletter to our god forsaken nation. With all the talks about how the FBI and the government has infiltrated various nonprofit organizations and individuals because of supposed connections to various "terroristic" international groups, this one is probably the most poignant on the album.
"I want to love you but you lie to me repeatedly. I want to have faith in you but you just don't come through like you said you could....O say can you see...I want fresh fruits, clean water, air that I don't see, I want the feeling of being safe on my streets, I want my children to be smarter than me, I want to feel free, for real..."

Her writing is impeccable and incomparable to others in the R&B field right now. Go 'head Ms. Scott and shake your thang!

writer's block sucks...the amount of sleep I had last night or lack there of is probably not helping either

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I just received a message from my friend informing me her cancerous lymph nodes have significantly decreased. Yes, this was the best Christmas present...for everyone!

OMG! Weird...someone was reading my mind!

Gifts From The Heart
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
If you don't exercise care today, you may find that you are overspending your holiday or monthly budget. You may be inclined to express your respect, love, or affection for the people in your life by buying luxurious gifts. But the expensive presents you buy today can have a large effect on your finances tomorrow. Being creative in your giving can help you find the perfect gifts without breaking the bank. Putting aside materialism and looking for inexpensive yet heartfelt presents or making homemade gifts for loved ones can be a win-win situation. Your efforts to find and create wonderful gifts may be applauded as the holiday season progresses. Instead of looking to malls and boutiques for the right gift today, try looking into your soul.

Gifts that cost little or nothing are often the most memorable and meaningful because they come from the heart. Though it can be tempting to spend a lot of money to express your love or esteem, giving heartfelt gifts can ensure that the object of your affection will treasure and appreciate your gift for a long time. Gifts that come from the heart have the power to strongly influence the recipient's emotions and demonstrate that you put a great deal of thought into your choice of a gift. Such gifts are a true expression of your feelings and your thoughtfulness and are often much more individual than store-bought presents. Buying or making a gift from the heart today can be just the thing to make your loved ones' holidays special.

Mantra of the Day

"Treating yourself with gentleness as you move forward on your path today can help you avoid discouragement and inspire you to keep going."

presents

giving presents is an age old tradition of a means to pay reverance to someone for something. the world has transformed it into an absolute bottom line fattening scheme...greedy bastards. who could blame them? if you didn't make your year in sales, the last of the year is the absolute last time to do it before the end of the fiscal year, right? makes me not want to get anything at all, for the sheer principle. damn my principles.

Holiday...er Christmas Cheer

Oh man...tis the time of year! As you're reading the article, keep in mind a few more perspectives:
1. Seperation of church and state, according to US law - where do you draw the line and how far do you want to interpret it?
2. If schools are truly wanting to be more multi-cultural than have celebrations for all the damn holidays - Kwanzaa, Hanukah, Pagan Solstice & Christmas.
3. Does it really matter what stores/companies are doing? Is it not enough that you stay true to your own beliefs and keep your traditions strong in your families? How big of a battle are you looking to fight?

A Very Wary Christmas
Retailers and governments heed the wrath of Christians who seek recognition of the sanctity of the occasion. Attorneys are standing by.
By Stephanie Simon
Times Staff Writer

December 9, 2005

PARKER, Colo. — Christmas is back.

A few weeks ago, banners outside every Lowe's store in the nation announced a sale on "Holiday Trees." Hundreds of Christians called to complain that the home-improvement chain was shunning Christmas.

The banners came down. Now the fake firs and pines are clearly labeled "Christmas Trees."

Target, too, started the season with a generic marketing theme. It pushed holiday plates, holiday leggings, holiday ornaments, holiday trees — with nary a mention of Christmas. Then, more than 500,000 shoppers signed an online pledge to boycott the chain. This week, Target promised to bring more Christmas into its stores as Dec. 25 approaches.

For the third year in a row, Christians nationwide have mobilized to put the holy back in the holiday. And they are winning battle after battle.

Their most publicized victories have come in the retail realm, where they have urged stores to acknowledge that the December shopping frenzy is not just about scoring a cheap DVD player, but also about celebrating Christ's birth.

Walgreen Co. says it's too late to change this year's "holiday" circulars, but in response to dozens of customer complaints, it has promised to bring back the word "Christmas" in its 2006 ads.

Macy's — the subject of a small boycott last year — sent activists a letter touting its use of "Merry Christmas" in ads, store windows and a TV jingle. A Macy's executive vice president, Louis M. Meunier, pledged that the company would use Christmas in even more marketing next year.

Defenders of Christmas hailed the news with triumph.

But they haven't stopped at the mall door.

At least 1,500 attorneys have volunteered to sue any town that tries to keep Nativity scenes out of its holiday displays. About 8,000 public school teachers stand ready to report any principal who removes "Silent Night" from the choir program.

The volunteers are armed with a seven-page memo that lays out the case for Jesus in public school concerts, for creches in the classroom and for mangers in city parks (as long as the religious references are balanced with secular songs and decorations).

The memo was written by the Liberty Counsel, a nonprofit law firm based in Orlando, Fla., that is affiliated with the Rev. Jerry Falwell. The firm won a federal ruling in 2003 that said several Massachusetts high schoolers' free-speech rights were violated when they were suspended for distributing candy canes adorned with religious greetings.

This week, the Liberty Counsel won against two Florida towns that had agreed to let locals decorate a public park with a Christmas tree and a menorah but not a Nativity scene. The nonprofit law firm had no sooner filed suit in federal court than the towns reversed course and permitted a display depicting Jesus' birth.

Liberty Counsel President Mathew D. Staver has also threatened to sue two Wisconsin elementary schools over choir concerts he says deny the religious nature of Christmas by featuring songs about Santa instead of Jesus.

One of the districts Staver has questioned does include the religious song "Angels We Have Heard on High" in a "holiday sing." But he remains convinced that secularists have declared a "war on Christmas," in some cases going so far as to change the lyrics of songs like "Silent Night" to remove any reference to Christ's birth.

"People often think the safest route is to censor Christmas," Staver said. "But to be inclusive, you need to recognize all aspects of the holiday."

That message has even made its way into politics. After a decade as a generic holiday tree, the twinkling conifer at the Capitol is a Christmas tree once more, thanks to a request by House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.).

Some Christian leaders have taken their campaign to the White House, expressing outrage this week over the annual White House greeting card, which offers wishes for a happy "holiday season." President Bush, they said, had better start wishing them a "Merry Christmas" instead.

Such demands have some skeptics crying Grinch.

"To call out a team of lawyers to insist that people say 'Merry Christmas' — what could be less in the Christmas spirit?" asked Jeremy Gunn, director of the American Civil Liberties Union's Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief.

"Don't they have anything better to do?" he asked.

Christian activists respond that this is one of the most important causes they can imagine.

In their view, God, prayer and faith have been unfairly pushed out of the public square — out of classrooms, city halls and now shopping malls — in the name of multiculturalism.

"Even people who aren't normally churchgoers are saying they're sick of it," said Jennifer Giroux of Cincinnati, who has begun marketing $2 rubber bracelets stamped "Just Say 'Merry Christmas.' " In her first week in business, she sold about 5,000.

She and others see the secularization of Christmas as political correctness gone mad. Tying their campaign to such commercial yardsticks, such as the number of times the word "Christmas" is mentioned in an advertising circular, is their effort to elevate the holy, they say, by making sure no shopper, parade-watcher or first-grade choir student can forget what all the tinsel and trimmings are about.

That means insisting that everyone call Christmas "Christmas" — and nothing else.

"Christmas is not a holiday. A holiday is when you take a day off work and run around playing," said Randy Sharp, director of special projects for the American Family Assn., which led the Target campaign. Using the word "holiday" for Dec. 25 devalues "our nation's most holy day," Sharp said. "And I take offense."

Shoppers rushing into a Lowe's in this suburb south of Denver tended to agree.

"We're celebrating Christ's birthday," said Renee Tillitz, 34. "This is not just a time to buy people a lot of junk."

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! So call it Christmas!" Dick Warner, 77, fairly shouted.

The defenders of Christmas take pains to explain they're not asking to monopolize the season. They say they'd welcome store displays wishing customers a Happy Hanukkah or a Blessed Kwanzaa or even a Joyous Pagan Solstice along with a Merry Christmas. What they object to is the rigorously neutral message that has become common.

"Renaming a Christmas tree a holiday tree doesn't make any more sense than taking a menorah and renaming it a candlestick," said Staver of the Liberty Counsel.

The law firm and other groups have used the "battle for Christmas" as a fundraising pitch. Some activists have also tried to turn the campaign into a political issue. Fox News Channel host John Gibson came out with a book this fall called "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christmas Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought."

Critics on the left say right-wing leaders are creating a crisis to rile voters.

If so, it hasn't worked on Mary Rittler, 78.

She prefers "Christmas" to "holiday," but as she pushed her cart through a Lowe's parking lot, Rittler said the semantic scrap seemed much ado about nothing.

Then she paused.

Musing aloud, she said there was one holiday battle that seemed to her worth fighting.

"You talk about offended — I'm offended when stores start putting up Christmas lights in November," she said. "Let Thanksgiving have its day."

Challenge

The Joe and I have the task of preparing New Year's Eve dinner for the Bernardo/Domingo clan camping trip. I was thinking of putting a creative spin on things and making "good luck" dishes from various cultures after watching a few programs on The Style Network, The Food Channel, HGTV, and The Travel Channel.

I'm torn between how much preparation and research it's going to take and how much all the flavors are going to mix well with each other. So far, I've found out that noodles are for long life in the Chinese culture. I've only uncovered a few desserts from the Philippines. My mom always makes arroz caldo for the New Year. We'll see how this one goes.

Anyone else got any resources?

California, Sweet California!

I can firmly say that I've been to Utah and will NEVER live there! I was in Provo from Monday of this week through Thursday. I was there for supervisor training with the AmeriCorps*VISTA Program.

The people I was with were great! I met a number of colleagues in various nonprofit and public organizations throughout the West Coast. Why were the Californians the rowdiest?! It was great networking with a ton of people who were going through similar professional and community challenges! Admist all the negativity you hear regarding the United States, it was also wonderful and affirming to see other people who are dedicated to creating better communities in our nation. So I guess I was kind of proud to be an American during the time I was at the training.

Some interesting haps- figures that the Californians would get stuck in the room with the worst heating. It was as cold in our workshop room as it was outdoors. It was in the 40s the entire time with a bit of snow and tons of sun. The best part of the room were the windows that looked out onto the mountains a few miles away. The air was super thin since we were at a higher elevation. I decided to do a little yoga one morning and I almost died because the air was so thin.

Here's a picture of the hotel with the mountains in the background. The picture is from Marriott's website. As you can tell, it was probably taken in a non-winter month since there isn't any snow on the peaks. At least I got some use out of my cutsy red coat!


I went up with my workshop group to the Sundance Resort during the last night we were there. Too bad we got there AFTER the sun had set AND it was snowing. We walked around a bit and checked out the restaurants, deli, lodge and shop. It was cute, with a creek flowing through the middle of the resort. We ended up eating at The Foundry Grill. I had the salmon and one of the best pinot grigio's I've had in such a long time! I can't remember the name of the maker, though!!! It was so buttery, fruity and softly scented, I'm almost tempted to call the resort to find out where the heck I can get a bottle of it! So yes, eating at one of the best restaurants in the area totally made up for the hotel banquet food we were being fed the entire duration of training.

I totally felt like I was in "Oldtown America." The street behind the hotel had restored buildings with some stores that had been there since the 1800s. I guess things don't change very quickly in Provo. I went to a bar with three peeps on Tuesday night and shared a pitcher of Polygamy Porter, proudly dawning the tagline "Why have just one?"

It tasted like a fruitier and lighter version of Guinness. The other interestingly named brew was 1st Amendment Pale Ale. Benjamin Franklin appears on the bottle of this drink. Apparently it was in protest of some kind of alcohol tax in Utah. Each bar charges a sort of cover charge but I think I remember it being called a "membership fee." Nonlocals get a card that states they've paid the membership fee so they can come back for the duration of the card. Not sure what the story is behind this one.

Just as I was getting used to the thin air, it was time to get home. I came home to 80 degree weather...THANK GAWD I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! I'm never leaving this god-forsaken state!