A Dead Tired High

It's done...my first one! What a ride! I'm so freakin' tired but I was amazed that I still had the energy to go out with George and Elson afterwards to get some drinks. I was such on a high of just knowing that everything was pretty much taken care of and whatever happened that we couldn't control tonight just happened.

Some things to keep in mind next time I have another big event -

1. Make sure to get enough food and rest.
2. Delegate and empower as much people as possible to help with various tasks!
3. Know people's limits and your own.
4. Set expectations from the very beginning.
5. Hydrate as much as possible while on the job.
6. Try to enjoy the event a little more than just walking in and out to just check on the order of the program.

I'm done.

2 more days!

I CANNOT WAIT! I'm sleeping in on Sunday! We might end up meeting financial goals! Hopefully the silent auction will get us up there. I'm so freakin' exhausted but damnit, I do thrive on this mess! I don't like to have to do it all the time but shiiit, when I need to step up to the plate, better get ready 'cause I don't throw down for just anything. All of this hoopla is for increasing the capacity of SIPA to keep progressing. We have three more affordable housing developments in the works. We want to create more youth programming and continue to grow with the community around us. Hell yeah! Yes, I do love my job! So far, so good!

Unfair!?

Unfair?! I've been so busy for the past few weeks. I've hardly had time to do my laundry, much less cook for myself. I broke down the other weekend after I spent close to 5 hours at my house all week long because of work and sleeping elsewhere. Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with the one person in my life whome I thought would understand me as much as my girlfriends. Was I expecting too much again? How come I always have to be the one to ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling? How come I'm the one who usually initates the check-ins? AND, to top it off, I have to pull stuff out of him most of the time! What the hell is going on? For the first time, I'm finally fine with my professional life but it feels like things outside of it are in some sort of transition. I haven't been inspired to cook anything in such a long time. I want to do something with my room to rearrange or something but I don't know what. I want to do something different in the dining room but I don't know what. I haven't sketched anything in such a long time. What the hell kind of phase is this?!

Gray Matter Exercise

Will someone please dig me out of the drab intellectual hole I feel like I've been in for ages? The best thing about this is that I can't even figure out what I'm in the mood for. The last movie i saw in the theaters was Bride and Prejudice . It was such a smart and cheeky movie...definite chick flick and a I know a few boy toys who would love it!

I haven't even cooked in so long! I haven't felt very inspired. I miss the farmers' market I used to go to regularly. I need to make more of a point to go every Thursday in Chinatown or in Northridge. Inspritation...I can't do weekly trips to Trader Joe's, especially when I know I can pick up fresh produce a bit cheaper elsewhere.

Inspirition...inspiration...inspiration...where to find it...where to find it...where to find it.

Say it isn't so!

Have I really gotten too old for going out? I've just noticed lately that I don't have patience for all these stupid, ritzy, ditzy clubs. How many times do you go to the same damn place and go through the same damn routine...get your fit right, get your hair tight...blah blah blah. Have I really gotten that spoiled to just stick to clubs or night-outs where my friends and I have rented out a club/restaurant or at least a portion of it to just chill? Have I really gotten into the habit of extending so much energy during the day that I can't even fathom doing much in the evenings except chill out on my bed with a nice book or scroll through internet babble? Ummmm...maybe it's a phase...

Daily Download

What the hell am I feeling right now? Work has been kicking my butt and tomorrow will be another day. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS FREAKIN' EVENT IS OVER!! I completely asked for it. Growing pains...growing pains...growing pains. Man, it's been rough.

Came from a FAN mixer tonight. Not sure what to think about that group at this point. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. Maybe it's just the month. Only two board members were there tonight, minus the two advisors. I haven't been in the mood to network with anyone during the past few mixers. Someone put it quite well tonight - "I don't want to go to those things anymore. It's the same damn thing all the freakin' time. Do something different already!" EXACTLY! Do I still have hope for that group?...yes. Will it stand the test of time and get fully running on its own?...who knows? But just like anything, if people will for something, then it will happen.

The one thing I was impressed with tonight were the three people I met as I was walking out the door from the mixer. They were three men who started a record label in New York and have been in LA for the past year or so trying to push their music into the scene on the West Coast. All three were Pilipino and had mentioned that they were currently working with UCLA's Samahang on something. Taking into consideration that my perception of Samahang isn't too positive at this point, I think it's high time to introduce these boys to other, more general community organizations. I was impressed by their candor and their willingness to network with a whole load of different people. I immediately introduced them to one of the FAN board members and they took it from there. Good luck, Q.

After the whole program for this evening and having someone whine in my ear for most of the night, I'm just completely exhausted. I got on the computer with the intention of doing some work but I'm just not feeling it right now. As I said earlier, tomorrow is another day.

Breathing

Today was a damn hard day. I feel like I got trampled on left and right and tomorrow will be another day. It's amazing that I actually like what I'm doing. Growing pains...must be patient with myself and must continue to have a little more foresight.

Phases

For the first time in a long time, i can honestly say I'm in a state of peace. I was always looking for something more the entire time I was at Kaplan. I started to volunteer with other organizations to find out what I really wanted to do and through all of that, here I am, working with one of the groups I had volunteered with in the past. I am an advisor of a group that i was completely skeptical about joining to begin with. I have met the majority of my friends through the volunteer projects and organizations I have participated in over the past few years. Go figure. We'll see how long this phase lasts. But one thing's for sure...I'm enjoying every minute.

Let's go out!

Last night was the first time I have gotten drunk in such a long time! Had fun with some of my girls at Claudia & James' wedding. It was absolutely beautiful and the weather was perfect. Thank goodness the rain has passed, for now at least. It was the funnest time I've had with my girls in quite some time. I miss going out with Cris! Time to get the Spring/Summer party season started!

Heaven pt. 2

If I could take public transit every day of my life, I would be in heaven! I hate having to take care of my car and I hate having to drive everywhere I need to go! I hate being a slave to my car! I feel like it's a freakin' child - regular checkups, catering to every squeak, drip, noise. I HATE IT! Times like this I wish I was back in the Bay with regular access to mass transit.

Gone are the days I lived near over 5 bus lines that could take me anywhere in the City.
Gone are the days when I'd just hop on a MUNI line to just see different parts of the City when I was broke as hell.
Gone are the days when I'd look down on different parts of the City and figuring out how to get there by whicheve MUNI line was the closest.
Gone are the days when I would hear several different languages from all over the world being spoken next to my ear.
Gone are the days I'd watch that Asian dude walk up and down Market St. with his "Impeach Clinton, Bush, Nixon, Eisenhower, Grant" sign with his funky looking glasses and the same, curiously looking, grey suit with pant legs that ended just above his ankle.
Gone are the days I'd trudge into class late because I'd refuse to walk up the damn hill during morning rush hour because the minute I'd start, halfway through, a freakin' Balboa limited would drive past me and I'd be no where near a damn bus stop!
Gone are the days I used to get my monthly MUNI paid for by the company I was working for or get it included in my student activity fee!
Gone are the days when I used to laugh at all the people waiting in that long ass line for the cable car at the end of Powell and Market as I merrilly went my way on the Fulton or the Hayes or the F line.
Gone are the days when I took the MUNI from the fog-stricken Richmond and look towards Downtown, where the sun was needlessly bathing towering buildings so the people below could get no tan what so ever!
Gone are the days when I'd wait for the 33 Ghost to take me to our weekly family dinners with a side of Seinfeld.
Gone are the days when I'd wonder what kinds of characters would be joining me on my regular rides.
Gone are the days when I'd take the 33 Geary with my duffel bag full of laundry for the weekend to the Bart Station on Market and Powell so I could go home for the weekend to get some lovin' from my momma and jokes from my dad.
Gone are the days when I'd find new places to visit in the City just by randomly taking a new line to get to some of my usual spots.
Gone are the days when my girls and I, in our short, sexy skirts, and heels, would take the Fulton or the Hayes to get to Bahia for a night of samba, cumbia, salsa, reggae and maybe some hip hop if the stupid dj was smart and decided to spin some freestyle.
Gone are the days when I'd wait in anticipation to go to a new food venue to savor on some deletable dishes, usually accompanied by great friends.
Gone are the days I'd watch the sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge and Marin from that cool spot at Ft. Mason.

Man, I miss the City by the Bay. Calgone...take me to San Francisco! I can never have enough time there!

But, alas...I've made my bed. I've decided to live here, where EVERYONE is a slave to their vehicles. I always wonder how long it's going to take until I get ridiculously weary of traffic-infested SoCal.

Pac Plunder

Last weekend was the Pacquio vs. Morales boxing match. It was disaster in the making.

I knew by the second round it wasn't going to be a good fight for Pacquio aka "The Pacman," as so lovingly referred to by his fellow countrymen...which brings me to my bigger point. Pacquio fell...hard.

After his previous fight against Barreros, which was proclaimed a draw, many believed he should have been the rightful victor, including myself. He went back to the Philippines shortly after to do some press events. He received awards here and there, recognition from Malacanang, herself, as well as a few large sums of pesos, I'm sure. He comes back to the States and does a few more press events and gains a bit more recognition. All the while, I couldn't help to think he should've been spending more time in the gym than revelling in all the praises of his countrymen. And there's the rub.

For some reason, in the Pilipino community, we love to create idols that supposedly represent all of us. Maybe it goes back to the years of colonization and the suppressed mentalities we, as a people, have cultivated in ourselves. But time and time again, we tend to raise certain invididuals to heights that they never thought they would go. When the time comes for them to get down to business, either their heads are too big for their own good, or the mass' expectations are way too high for the idol's own good.

Every round Pacquio fought was ended with a big grin on his face. In no way am I discounting the work he did in the ring but maybe he should have paid more attention to his fighting than his dancing. It was evident by the people I was watching the match with that the almight Pacman was not guarding the other half of his body when he was hitting with the opposing side. Not sure what his energy level was towards the end of the match but he would hit Morales and then would not follow with stronger blows. Um...I don't watch boxing that much but I would think that a fighter that gains a second of advantage over their opposition would aim for keeping that advantage.

In any case, I can't help to feel as if Pacquio fell into the trap of getting his ego raised to heights that it should never have reached. He's a good fighter, confirmed by many friends who watch and understand boxing more than I. Let's hope he learned his lesson this time around and will spend more time in the gym than signing autographs and taking pictures.

Friendster Vacuum

Damn Friendster...I turned my computer on tonight specifically to do some work and I got sucked into the Friendster trap. Damn these vices! i haven't been on that website in ages and I got hooked trying to find some peeps. Ah well. Time for bed...my mind can't think anymore.

Crown me!

I've developed a greater appreciation for keeping my teeth clean and healthy. I went in to get a new crown on one of my teeth today. All the years of loving sweets have started to catch up to me. I better watch it or I may develop a minor condition of diabetes like my father. Damn my family for letting me have anything I wanted as a child, including sugar on my rice! I'd like to award my father for the grand prize of helping me develop my sweet teeth. Without him, my love for desserts would not be as potent. He still makes the best kusinta in the world!

Another reason to love LaLa Land

Los Angeles Council Passes Anti-Sweatshop Ordinance

Alright folks, time to get other ports of entry in this damn nation to follow suit.

Yoga by Nike

Seems like a contradiction, doesn't it? A practice that promotes peace and unity of mind, body and community has been embraced by one of the largest mulitinational companies who is notorious for human rights abuses in their sweatshops in numerous developing countries. Where do we draw the line? For more information on the anti-sweatship Nike campaign, check out GlobalExchange.com.

Denial

After a few months of denying myself anything Filipino, I have a weekend filled with nothing but Pinoy things.

Instead of taking a walk around the neighborhood today, Lola's Boy, Katscratches and I went for a walk around the Island Pacific Market Plaza in Panorama City, aka Daly City #2. As Lola's Boy was picking up Pinoy newspapers, I noticed a big poster in Goldilocks promoting a visit from Manny Pacquio, a feather weight champion boxer who will be fighting Morales, a Mexican boxer in Vegas during Vanessa's Wedding. So then and there, it was decided that we were going to come back later in the afternoon to see if we could take pictures with him, as well as have a few of our friends come out and revel in their Pinoy-ness by having their pictures taken with him. Bambu & Kiwi are apparently huge fans of Pacquio's, aka Pacman. (Not sure how formidable of a nickname that is but he's Pinoy...can't really say much else about that.)

After succumbing to the food coma brought on by lunch at Pinoy Pinay and a few hours of random house chores, we get back to Goldilocks just as Pacquio was walking out the door. I walked into the restaurant trying to look for Bambu and Kiwi but ended up losing Joe in the process. Considering his 6"1' frame, it wasn't hard to find him. This fool ended up following the crowd that was surrounding Pacquio and low and behold, Bambu & Kiwi were also part of that crowd, starting to shout out Pacquio's name. Everyone was taking pictures of him. My lovely, smart, dearest decides to get behind Pacquio while Bambu & Kiwi were taking pictures from the front. This was the first time I've ever seen Joe so star struck. Bambu & Kiwi, whom I have seen pretty cool and collected were like little school girls trying to get a hold of Pacquio's hand. AHAHAHAH! They were sooo cute! Kat, Cheryl and I were laughing hysterically at the whole thing. Lola's Boy managed to get close enough to the car so that he could bump fists with the Golden Fighter, himself. Katscratches and I were talking about taking pictures with Pacquio with signs that said, "Hi, Dad." Ah well...next time. So I don't get star struck all the time but hell, if all the people I'm with are getting into it, I guess I'll join in a little bit.

Later in the evening, we all trekked down to Carson City to attend a conference on a Philippine Studies Program, essentially an immersion program to help teach people Tagalog and be exposed to different aspects of Philippine life. I forgot we were going to a college. I also forgot that it was the first time this conference was happening. First of all, if their attempt was to get people who have never been to the program to attend it, the format needed great improvement. Joe was going to go to some of the workshops, but many of them and the attendants consisted of individuals who had already gone through the program. Big no-no when you're trying to attract people who have never been through the program or have had little to no exposure to it. Why would I want to go to an event where most people know each other already and then go to a variety show where comments are made that pertain only to the people who have gone through the program? I was willing to keep an open mind about this whole thing, considering I hadn't attended any of the workshops.

As I was sitting through the variety show, I kept thinking how we were all a product of our parents' generation. There always has to be some kind of performance related event attached to some kind of gathering, whether it be academic or not. Go figure. Each performance in the beginning was drama this, drama that. Most of the songs that were sung were slow ballads either about losing one's love or having love....da...dada...dada...dada. And, in true progressive fashion, out came the poetry readings. Lola's Boy and I joke with each other all the time when we sit through these things. We've seen so many of them, there are similar elements that are prevalent in many readings. There always has to be some kind of description of being in darkness and walking into the light, experiencing an awakening of some sort or feeling water on someone's face, washing away some kind of torment. The intonations of the voice are always the same, having that beat that sounds like many people I've heard perform live poetry. And how come I've heard hella poems about a parent sacrificing their life for their child and laying the responsiblity of carrying on "the struggles" to the child after the parent has passed. Damn those are hard challenges to take on, especially being told as a child!? I wonder what children think when they're told that. At that point, I'm sure they don't know the difference between their shoes or a new toy. All I'm saying is that there are so many similar themes that have been used in so many poems I've heard. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that but the way those themes are approached needs to be super unique for me to stand up and give a mighty ovation. I think it's just more respectable to the art that way. Absolutely no offense is meant to those who are reading this and perform poetry. I love all of you. I just think that sometimes we all get a little carried away with the emotions and don't always see how cliche our lines and themes are. I've been a victim of it, too so don't start all that head rollin'. Keep doing your thing, though because goodness knows there are way more people out there who can write better than I can.

Native Gunz were the feature of the evening, I think. Those guys are great! Why don't they have a record deal yet? Ha! It was such a stark comparison to seeing them on stage and seeing them go gaga over Pacquio. Those guys tear it up everytime they take center stage, though. I can't really say much else for their performance except that they were freakin' awesome! Thanks for letting me be a groupie for the night!

To top off our night. we decided to catch some bites at the Maynila restaruant in Carson. We were in Daly City #3, we might as well check out the digs. First we park in a lot that has a huge mural that looked like it was created by Eliseo Silva and then we hear loud ass music blasting from the restaruant. Apparently this place is open until 2am for karaoke. I was just hoping the kitchen was still open. Afte a few minutes, I knew where I was. I felt like I was sitting in a roadside restaurant in the Philippines with cold, bare floors, open air seating, and of course, listening to people sing on the karaoke machine. Except down there, I think it's called videoke. No clue as to the reason so don't ask. The food was pretty darn good especially for not having Pinoy food for quite some time. Don't know if I'll ever go back there again but it's good to know where to go when you're starving for some late night snacks.

So that was my all-thing-Pilipino Saturday. On to Sunday!

Trippy Thursday

Today didn't exactly started the way I wanted it to. I woke up way too late and didn't get into the office until 10am. Ooops. Thank goodness traffic wasn't too bad on the 405, well, until I reached the 101/405 junction. Whoever designed that portion of the damn freeway was on some straight crack. It totally needs to be redone but there is so much traffic that goes through there, who knows if they will ever touch it. Besides, all the bougie, nonpublic transit-friendly Westsiders would probably create some kind of legal prevention to stop from revamping the whole freeway. It's one of the worst ones to be on in LA!

After work, I was completely late to my meeting with Arnold and Rex. Sorry guys...I apologize profusely. It was a good meeting, none the less. I'm still trying to get comfortable in my advisor role to FAN . I just want to make sure it really does progress beyond the social part. It'd be great to get to a level where it has a nice mix of the two.

I've been preparing to transition over to SIPA, too. I can't believe how lucky I was to have landed a position with an organization that I really believe in. I'm sure the politics are going to be quite interesting. But you can't work with Pinoys without tsismis.

With the transition, I haven't felt like doing very much with my present position. I need to just organize information that whoever is taking over will need. Not sure how to do that but I'm sure I'll think of something. In the past few days, I've managed to do more organizing of my iPod playlists than anything else. Thanks to Jane for leaving the majority of her tunes in the harddrive! :-) I can't say that I'm coming away from Kaplan with a lot of bitterness...maybe a little bit but that would take too much energy that I could use for something else.

About an hour after I had gotten home tonight, Joe came and picked me up to attend a fashion show Arrian & Diane invited us to. It was in an art gallery in Studio City near Laurel Canyon & Topanga. It was quite interesting hanging out with the higher end arts fartsy crowd. We're more used to the community/grassroots arts fartsy crowd. I don't think either of us were "super fashionable" for the event but I didn't care. I wear what I like whenever I wish. If I'm not in the mood then so be it. I did manage to spot a painting I wanted to purchase. Too bad the pretty canvas was about $14,000. :-( It was a painting of a Flamenco dancer who was standing with one arm in the air and the other turned down towards the floor, each holding a corner of a shawl that she had just flung into the air. I was more enthralled in the movement of the shawl. It had flowers on it and tassles on the end, which added to its fluidity. The dancer looked too perfect, too statuesque, very unrealistic. The only real things on here were her hands. The painter managed to put the detail in her hands, showing how her fingers were tightened to keep the shawl from escaping them. The dress was the traditional red, with the ruffles at the bottom. The dancers face was flawless, like magazine pictures of models that have been Photoshop-ed. I'm not so sure the point of the painting showed through. I wasn't sure if the painter was emphasizing the dancer's stance, the movement of the shawl or her fingers. But then again, art is a person's perception. So I'm just going to continue to perceive my own thoughts.

We decided to go check out the hip hop "club" that was happening in Northridge afterwards, yes Northridge. It ended up being at some seedy looking joint on Parthenia and Nordhoff. Um...no. We didn't even dare go in. I saw a ton of rice rockets (yes, I do have to use the phrase...sorry to all those who think it's politically incorrect) and decided against getting out of the car. We could hear the music bumping from the place but wasn't too impressed. It was back home after that.

So now I'm sitting here trying to get my thoughts out and the time is flying. Thank goodness it's Friday. I've been waiting for the weekend since Monday. Think I'll play sick on Monday. :-)

Down with technology! - Pt. 2

What the hell was Apple thinking releasing their damn version of Itunes! I've been trying to connect my Ipod to my computer all day and each time Itunes freezes as it tries to recognize the freakin' ipod and I have to restart my damn computer. My poor baby has been restarted so many damn times today. I went on Apple's website to see if there are any solutions that have been posted by Apple Support. How convenient that the one they posted doesn't work for all users! I even went on some of the forums on Apple's site and found that I wasn't the only one having the same problem with the Itunes update. I think I'll just inundate Apple's feedback messages until they send out a correction for the damn problem. Mofos!

Another Great Has Passed

Just found out that Ossie Davis passed away earlier this month. He and his wife were deeply involved with civil rights issues aside from their acting careers. He was one of the few actors that I really admire for his work on and off the screen. May his soul continue to live on and may his memory continue to inspire all to fight for equality and social justice.

A weekend in the NW

My family is absolutely nuts! Take away the parentals and it get's even crazier! Despite the freezing temperatures, it was a wonderful weekend in the NW.

We got in a few days early and stayed with Dominique. It wasn't as cold as I had expected when we first got there. For some reason, Joe was still stuck in SoCal mode and decided not to take a coat with him when we went out after we had arrived at Dom's. This boy has got to stop thinking it's supposed to feel like SoCal weather everywhere he goes. He and I went touring around the university district and checked out UW. We were also able to walk around the International District, Pike's Market, the retail core and the Seattle Center. I have to say, the Space Needle is completely overrated. I refused to pay $12 to go up to the observatory, take a look at Seattle and Canada, probably for a good 15 min. and then come back down....um...no!

Had a little moment at the Wing Luke Museum. I didn't think I was going to be as moved as I was. There was an exhibit of the Japanese internment camps where one was able to walk through a small version of a bunk. The entire time I kept thinking how cruel we, as a society, can be. We let our fears take over and all our logic goes out the windows. And for those in places of power, sometimes they know they can get away with anything if they exploit their influence on people's fears.

I think I could spend two years there if I were accepted into UW's Urban Planning graduate program. The advisor I met with was pretty helpful and gave some insight to other programs available on the West Coast. It's a relatively small program so I wouldn't have to worry about getting lost in the numbers. There was this one building near their quad that looked like it was used as a cathedral at one point. It was like you were looking at a picture and trying to decide what didn't fit in the view.

It was over after we got together with il familia. The festivities began with being awestruck by Raster's cross-eyes or lazy eyes, whichever way you want to see it. HA! Poor cat...we were making fun of her all weekend. She was pretty chill and is my current desktop picture. She was probably the only sober one out of all of us the entire weekend.


Here's a view from the Bunnuelos Ranch.


Here's Raster in all her disco glory.

The party on Saturday was supposed to be a costume one. I had been too busy all week to think of one so one of my cousins had the idea of putting me in one of the sari's she had purchased on one of her trips. Though I enjoyed wearing something so beautiful for a bit, I kind of felt odd wearing it, especially since she and I were somewhat limited in our knowledge of how to wrap it. After a few more people showed up with saris, it was time for me to take it off. I just felt really odd wearing it. It was almost as if I was exotifying the practice of it. I know it's similar to when non-Pinoys wear barong tagalogs and such so I go back and forth with this thought.







The whole trip was an eating fest. I hadn't realized how much my cocousins and I had become such foodies. On Sunday, we had a Japanese spread that riveled any dinner I've had at a Japanese restaurant.



That there on the top left of the picture is my favorite yaki dish in the world - unagi! Manong Bong & John were awesome! And we continued to talk about food even after we sat down for the meal. The tapas dishes at the party were pretty damn good, too! We'd revert to talking about things that happened the last time we all got together to have a party at the Bunnuelos Ranch. All our parents kept bugging us because they didn't think there was enough food for everyone. Just goes to show that we can have our own successful parties our own way.

We topped off the trip with the Holy Grail....never again!





All came to an end as Manang Juzen drove me to the airport on Monday afternoon. It was an amazing flight into San Francisco. I hadn't realized how much I missed seeing the vistas of that city. It was absolutely amazing. There were billowing clouds sitting on top of The City and was completely clear as we touched down at SFO. Figures it would be clear south of The city. I remembered how much I despised the cloud-cover. Ah...part of The City's charm.

In retrospect, it was one of the best weekend I had spent with my family for quite some time. It didn't even compare to Christmas. Can't wait to get together with those fools again.