Another candle

Thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday this past weekend. Wonderful food was shared over dinner with wonderful company. Many blessings to you all and may this year continue to bring your more joy, strength and fun surprises.

A Tradition I wasn't Raised On

As much as I love creative activities, I'm bored by parades. The famed Pasadena Rose Bowl happened yesterday and I was astounded at how many people waited OVERNIGHT and sat in the rain to watch the entire thing. I guess it's a tradition that I was just not raised on but for some reason I've always hated parades. I remember being in the homecoming parade at school and although there was a significant number of people watching the parade, I remember spending hours upon hours looking for various resources to decorate the stupid float and then spending 20 mins. on the stupid float. Senior year, I was so stressed from all the planning for the homecoming float, I got sick and had to be dragged home by Michael and Matt and remember looking back through Mike's hatchback window at everyone working on the float. Trauma...maybe not. I've disliked parades for as long as I can remember, way before high school.

Looking for...

snow gear

I never go up and I'm spending New Year's Eve weekend with the Bernardo clan in Big Bear. Why would I ever need to get snow gear if I'm rarely there?

So I'm looking around for gear and The Joe is of no help to me. "I have to look for my own clothes." fucker.

It's Official

Advent season is now over and it is now officialy the Christmas seasons, through January 6th, that is. For those unfamiliar with the traditions and beliefs of our Catholic lives and upbringing, the Christmas season begins December 25th and ends on January 6th, the date biblical scholars believe to be the date when the Three Wise Men reached Baby Jesus.

I think I'm getting out of my bah-humbug phase. I still feel a little bit of it lingering. What can I say...opening presents and sometimes exchanging them really doesn't do it for me anymore. What's gotten me to start stepping out of the phase is my godson, JJ, running to me as I walked through their door and giving me a great big hug and telling me that he missed me and then plots a big fat kiss on my cheek. Anyone who can't react positively to that is really smoking some major crack. His sister, Jelisa, was as cute as can be in her frilly plaid and velvet Christmas dress, going around trying to eat everything with her chubby little fingers and cheeks that scream out, "pinch me, pinch me!" She is one of the friendliest two year olds I have ever met on the earth! She loves being held by anyone but likes her space when she feels like it and even tells you when to change her diaper by handing you a clean one! Ev was telling me that JJ doesn't like coloring with crayons and staying in lines but loves to paint for hours...goes after his ninang's heart! I hated coloring in lines and much preferred free-form art in elementary school. Both of them are super duper smart. When I was getting ready to leave, JJ gave me another big hug and said he was going to miss me. I can't wait to see them again in the Spring when they come down to go to Legoland. Since I've never been there, I figure I'd take the opportunity and go play with them. :-)

Afterwards, I went back to Auntie Inday's house to tsismis with more of my family and The Monster came running to give me a big hug and kiss as I walked to the family room where he had already gotten to the mahjong set and was creating space ships...just like the ones Aniken rides in. Oh, and apparently he's not Pilipino, he's Aniken-not just a name but a way of life. The Monster, aka Sebastian, has definitely lost a ton of his baby fat. He's as old as JJ but The Monster is about a foot taller.

If this keeps up, I'm really going to want some of my own in the near future. I have yet to see my god daughter so hopefully I can go spoil her tomorrow.

Something fun...

Your Birthdate: January 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Me...discriminate?

Ugh...I was just looking for information on a particular Pilipino family and happened to come across a entertainment gossip website. There were passages about some Pinoy star having a bday at a freakin' restaurant in LA's Chinatown (how fab?! ) and the how she just moved in to a condo in Marina Del Rey and is paying an arm and leg for the monthly rent (even more fab! ). Apparently the journalist was highly impressed.

A few other passages down the page covers the same star's babyshower or something with the same damn people and even more pseudo fabs and wanna be's.

Damn...I'm being such a hater. I don't even know these people. There's just something about the tendencies of OVERLY ma-arte Pinoys that rubs me the wrong way. At least with SOME American celebrities, I can respect them for their art and other societal contributions! But overall, I do detest what fame can do to some people.

because of procrastination...

Just what I was thinking!

December 22, 2005
Staying Afloat Amidst The Spin
Taking Things Personally

Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.

If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.

When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.

One cure for my ailments

Jill Scott - Beautifully Human

This one goes on the all-time best albums list. Every time I feel down, this album always lifts my mood, especially "Family Reunion." It makes me miss my family but creates the mood where you can revel in the fact that your family is crazy but you love them anyway.

My roomie and I love "My Petition," Ms. Scott's loveletter to our god forsaken nation. With all the talks about how the FBI and the government has infiltrated various nonprofit organizations and individuals because of supposed connections to various "terroristic" international groups, this one is probably the most poignant on the album.
"I want to love you but you lie to me repeatedly. I want to have faith in you but you just don't come through like you said you could....O say can you see...I want fresh fruits, clean water, air that I don't see, I want the feeling of being safe on my streets, I want my children to be smarter than me, I want to feel free, for real..."

Her writing is impeccable and incomparable to others in the R&B field right now. Go 'head Ms. Scott and shake your thang!

writer's block sucks...the amount of sleep I had last night or lack there of is probably not helping either

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I just received a message from my friend informing me her cancerous lymph nodes have significantly decreased. Yes, this was the best Christmas present...for everyone!

OMG! Weird...someone was reading my mind!

Gifts From The Heart
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
If you don't exercise care today, you may find that you are overspending your holiday or monthly budget. You may be inclined to express your respect, love, or affection for the people in your life by buying luxurious gifts. But the expensive presents you buy today can have a large effect on your finances tomorrow. Being creative in your giving can help you find the perfect gifts without breaking the bank. Putting aside materialism and looking for inexpensive yet heartfelt presents or making homemade gifts for loved ones can be a win-win situation. Your efforts to find and create wonderful gifts may be applauded as the holiday season progresses. Instead of looking to malls and boutiques for the right gift today, try looking into your soul.

Gifts that cost little or nothing are often the most memorable and meaningful because they come from the heart. Though it can be tempting to spend a lot of money to express your love or esteem, giving heartfelt gifts can ensure that the object of your affection will treasure and appreciate your gift for a long time. Gifts that come from the heart have the power to strongly influence the recipient's emotions and demonstrate that you put a great deal of thought into your choice of a gift. Such gifts are a true expression of your feelings and your thoughtfulness and are often much more individual than store-bought presents. Buying or making a gift from the heart today can be just the thing to make your loved ones' holidays special.

Mantra of the Day

"Treating yourself with gentleness as you move forward on your path today can help you avoid discouragement and inspire you to keep going."

presents

giving presents is an age old tradition of a means to pay reverance to someone for something. the world has transformed it into an absolute bottom line fattening scheme...greedy bastards. who could blame them? if you didn't make your year in sales, the last of the year is the absolute last time to do it before the end of the fiscal year, right? makes me not want to get anything at all, for the sheer principle. damn my principles.

Holiday...er Christmas Cheer

Oh man...tis the time of year! As you're reading the article, keep in mind a few more perspectives:
1. Seperation of church and state, according to US law - where do you draw the line and how far do you want to interpret it?
2. If schools are truly wanting to be more multi-cultural than have celebrations for all the damn holidays - Kwanzaa, Hanukah, Pagan Solstice & Christmas.
3. Does it really matter what stores/companies are doing? Is it not enough that you stay true to your own beliefs and keep your traditions strong in your families? How big of a battle are you looking to fight?

A Very Wary Christmas
Retailers and governments heed the wrath of Christians who seek recognition of the sanctity of the occasion. Attorneys are standing by.
By Stephanie Simon
Times Staff Writer

December 9, 2005

PARKER, Colo. — Christmas is back.

A few weeks ago, banners outside every Lowe's store in the nation announced a sale on "Holiday Trees." Hundreds of Christians called to complain that the home-improvement chain was shunning Christmas.

The banners came down. Now the fake firs and pines are clearly labeled "Christmas Trees."

Target, too, started the season with a generic marketing theme. It pushed holiday plates, holiday leggings, holiday ornaments, holiday trees — with nary a mention of Christmas. Then, more than 500,000 shoppers signed an online pledge to boycott the chain. This week, Target promised to bring more Christmas into its stores as Dec. 25 approaches.

For the third year in a row, Christians nationwide have mobilized to put the holy back in the holiday. And they are winning battle after battle.

Their most publicized victories have come in the retail realm, where they have urged stores to acknowledge that the December shopping frenzy is not just about scoring a cheap DVD player, but also about celebrating Christ's birth.

Walgreen Co. says it's too late to change this year's "holiday" circulars, but in response to dozens of customer complaints, it has promised to bring back the word "Christmas" in its 2006 ads.

Macy's — the subject of a small boycott last year — sent activists a letter touting its use of "Merry Christmas" in ads, store windows and a TV jingle. A Macy's executive vice president, Louis M. Meunier, pledged that the company would use Christmas in even more marketing next year.

Defenders of Christmas hailed the news with triumph.

But they haven't stopped at the mall door.

At least 1,500 attorneys have volunteered to sue any town that tries to keep Nativity scenes out of its holiday displays. About 8,000 public school teachers stand ready to report any principal who removes "Silent Night" from the choir program.

The volunteers are armed with a seven-page memo that lays out the case for Jesus in public school concerts, for creches in the classroom and for mangers in city parks (as long as the religious references are balanced with secular songs and decorations).

The memo was written by the Liberty Counsel, a nonprofit law firm based in Orlando, Fla., that is affiliated with the Rev. Jerry Falwell. The firm won a federal ruling in 2003 that said several Massachusetts high schoolers' free-speech rights were violated when they were suspended for distributing candy canes adorned with religious greetings.

This week, the Liberty Counsel won against two Florida towns that had agreed to let locals decorate a public park with a Christmas tree and a menorah but not a Nativity scene. The nonprofit law firm had no sooner filed suit in federal court than the towns reversed course and permitted a display depicting Jesus' birth.

Liberty Counsel President Mathew D. Staver has also threatened to sue two Wisconsin elementary schools over choir concerts he says deny the religious nature of Christmas by featuring songs about Santa instead of Jesus.

One of the districts Staver has questioned does include the religious song "Angels We Have Heard on High" in a "holiday sing." But he remains convinced that secularists have declared a "war on Christmas," in some cases going so far as to change the lyrics of songs like "Silent Night" to remove any reference to Christ's birth.

"People often think the safest route is to censor Christmas," Staver said. "But to be inclusive, you need to recognize all aspects of the holiday."

That message has even made its way into politics. After a decade as a generic holiday tree, the twinkling conifer at the Capitol is a Christmas tree once more, thanks to a request by House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.).

Some Christian leaders have taken their campaign to the White House, expressing outrage this week over the annual White House greeting card, which offers wishes for a happy "holiday season." President Bush, they said, had better start wishing them a "Merry Christmas" instead.

Such demands have some skeptics crying Grinch.

"To call out a team of lawyers to insist that people say 'Merry Christmas' — what could be less in the Christmas spirit?" asked Jeremy Gunn, director of the American Civil Liberties Union's Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief.

"Don't they have anything better to do?" he asked.

Christian activists respond that this is one of the most important causes they can imagine.

In their view, God, prayer and faith have been unfairly pushed out of the public square — out of classrooms, city halls and now shopping malls — in the name of multiculturalism.

"Even people who aren't normally churchgoers are saying they're sick of it," said Jennifer Giroux of Cincinnati, who has begun marketing $2 rubber bracelets stamped "Just Say 'Merry Christmas.' " In her first week in business, she sold about 5,000.

She and others see the secularization of Christmas as political correctness gone mad. Tying their campaign to such commercial yardsticks, such as the number of times the word "Christmas" is mentioned in an advertising circular, is their effort to elevate the holy, they say, by making sure no shopper, parade-watcher or first-grade choir student can forget what all the tinsel and trimmings are about.

That means insisting that everyone call Christmas "Christmas" — and nothing else.

"Christmas is not a holiday. A holiday is when you take a day off work and run around playing," said Randy Sharp, director of special projects for the American Family Assn., which led the Target campaign. Using the word "holiday" for Dec. 25 devalues "our nation's most holy day," Sharp said. "And I take offense."

Shoppers rushing into a Lowe's in this suburb south of Denver tended to agree.

"We're celebrating Christ's birthday," said Renee Tillitz, 34. "This is not just a time to buy people a lot of junk."

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! So call it Christmas!" Dick Warner, 77, fairly shouted.

The defenders of Christmas take pains to explain they're not asking to monopolize the season. They say they'd welcome store displays wishing customers a Happy Hanukkah or a Blessed Kwanzaa or even a Joyous Pagan Solstice along with a Merry Christmas. What they object to is the rigorously neutral message that has become common.

"Renaming a Christmas tree a holiday tree doesn't make any more sense than taking a menorah and renaming it a candlestick," said Staver of the Liberty Counsel.

The law firm and other groups have used the "battle for Christmas" as a fundraising pitch. Some activists have also tried to turn the campaign into a political issue. Fox News Channel host John Gibson came out with a book this fall called "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christmas Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought."

Critics on the left say right-wing leaders are creating a crisis to rile voters.

If so, it hasn't worked on Mary Rittler, 78.

She prefers "Christmas" to "holiday," but as she pushed her cart through a Lowe's parking lot, Rittler said the semantic scrap seemed much ado about nothing.

Then she paused.

Musing aloud, she said there was one holiday battle that seemed to her worth fighting.

"You talk about offended — I'm offended when stores start putting up Christmas lights in November," she said. "Let Thanksgiving have its day."

Challenge

The Joe and I have the task of preparing New Year's Eve dinner for the Bernardo/Domingo clan camping trip. I was thinking of putting a creative spin on things and making "good luck" dishes from various cultures after watching a few programs on The Style Network, The Food Channel, HGTV, and The Travel Channel.

I'm torn between how much preparation and research it's going to take and how much all the flavors are going to mix well with each other. So far, I've found out that noodles are for long life in the Chinese culture. I've only uncovered a few desserts from the Philippines. My mom always makes arroz caldo for the New Year. We'll see how this one goes.

Anyone else got any resources?

California, Sweet California!

I can firmly say that I've been to Utah and will NEVER live there! I was in Provo from Monday of this week through Thursday. I was there for supervisor training with the AmeriCorps*VISTA Program.

The people I was with were great! I met a number of colleagues in various nonprofit and public organizations throughout the West Coast. Why were the Californians the rowdiest?! It was great networking with a ton of people who were going through similar professional and community challenges! Admist all the negativity you hear regarding the United States, it was also wonderful and affirming to see other people who are dedicated to creating better communities in our nation. So I guess I was kind of proud to be an American during the time I was at the training.

Some interesting haps- figures that the Californians would get stuck in the room with the worst heating. It was as cold in our workshop room as it was outdoors. It was in the 40s the entire time with a bit of snow and tons of sun. The best part of the room were the windows that looked out onto the mountains a few miles away. The air was super thin since we were at a higher elevation. I decided to do a little yoga one morning and I almost died because the air was so thin.

Here's a picture of the hotel with the mountains in the background. The picture is from Marriott's website. As you can tell, it was probably taken in a non-winter month since there isn't any snow on the peaks. At least I got some use out of my cutsy red coat!


I went up with my workshop group to the Sundance Resort during the last night we were there. Too bad we got there AFTER the sun had set AND it was snowing. We walked around a bit and checked out the restaurants, deli, lodge and shop. It was cute, with a creek flowing through the middle of the resort. We ended up eating at The Foundry Grill. I had the salmon and one of the best pinot grigio's I've had in such a long time! I can't remember the name of the maker, though!!! It was so buttery, fruity and softly scented, I'm almost tempted to call the resort to find out where the heck I can get a bottle of it! So yes, eating at one of the best restaurants in the area totally made up for the hotel banquet food we were being fed the entire duration of training.

I totally felt like I was in "Oldtown America." The street behind the hotel had restored buildings with some stores that had been there since the 1800s. I guess things don't change very quickly in Provo. I went to a bar with three peeps on Tuesday night and shared a pitcher of Polygamy Porter, proudly dawning the tagline "Why have just one?"

It tasted like a fruitier and lighter version of Guinness. The other interestingly named brew was 1st Amendment Pale Ale. Benjamin Franklin appears on the bottle of this drink. Apparently it was in protest of some kind of alcohol tax in Utah. Each bar charges a sort of cover charge but I think I remember it being called a "membership fee." Nonlocals get a card that states they've paid the membership fee so they can come back for the duration of the card. Not sure what the story is behind this one.

Just as I was getting used to the thin air, it was time to get home. I came home to 80 degree weather...THANK GAWD I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! I'm never leaving this god-forsaken state!

Weekend with the Fam

Spent the weekend with the Family, my mom's side, to be exact. I didn't grow up with them so times spent with this side are greatly cherished. I love visiting everyone in Los Osos. This is the view of Morro Bay with Morro Rock from Los Osos.

We decided to make a stop in Santa Barbara since we had plenty of time to get up to my familys'. Chris and I parked along Ocean Ave., near Downtown. We parked and took a walk to the pier, hoping to grab a taste of good seafood from one of the places that was featured in an episode of $40 a Day with the overly chipper Rachael Ray. Folks, the fresh seafood at the Santa Barbara Shellfish Company at the end of the pier is no joke. All the prices are super affordable because they always sell the stock for the day. They just have counters to sit at, as well as public tables on the pier so plan accordingly. The crabsalad sandwich was super yummy and my friend was diggin' the calamari sandwich. Their market rate steamed lobster with salad was featured on the show. Market rate means that the price of the lobster is less during peak season (Oct.-Mar.), which also means that it's best to get the lobster then as opposed to any other time of the year. Having gone to school in San Francisco, Chris and I were both glad to be next to the clean ocean again. The sun felt so good on my skin, especially since I spent the last four days indoors, trying to recover from a cold. I just wanted to glab a blanket and sleep in the park until the sun went down and then continue our drive to Los Osos. We went in search of a gelateria on or near State St. after lunch but to no avail. We ended up at the Costco in Goleta to grab a cup of frozen yogurt before we proceeded northward. Thank goodness I remembered the exit! Thanks, UCSB Alums!

The drive along the coast is always breathtaking, rain or shine. You move from one beachside city to another until you curve inland through the mountain tunnel near Vandenberg AFB. Acres of farmland and rolling hills are passed on the drive up to Los Osos. We were tempted to stop at a winery but didn't think of it until we passed the last one in Santa Maria. Oh! Before I forget, if anyone wants to try a winery in Paso Robles, Eos Estate Winery is THE place to go to, especially when you want a great bottle of muscato and muscat canelli, a great dessert wine!

Uncle Andoy, Auntie Linda and Uncle Ray are all farmers. It's wonderful eating there. Not only do they live near the ocean so all the seafood is fresh, but all the vegetables and fruit are also very sweet, crisp and taste the way they used to when I was a kid. Very few experiences compare to being with them...everything about the visit is so down to earth.

My cousin, Ellaine, and I were joking about how her parents had invited the village to her sister's babyshower. The village was truly present yesterday. They helped with all facets of the festivities, down to cooking through the night to ensure that there was plenty of food for everyone at the party. Our families share the same experiences - descending from those who learned to live off the land, living in a 3 bedroom house with a small family in each room during the first years of our lives, growing up with an extended family, calling our parents' comadres and compadres "auntie and uncle" or "lolo and lola" because they looked after us (physically, mentally and spiritually) when our parents couldn't. I see us continuing the same traditions, hoping to extend that feeling of a village to our friends and family members who are not Pilipino. This is, indeed, one of the very many factors that make me feel proud to have been raised the way my brothers and I were. I come from a family of very strong individuals, people who have weathered way too many storms to count.

Everyone is getting older and hopefully a little wiser. My aunts were trying to marry off their sons for some reason. I couldn't help but think that maybe it would be worthwhile for my male cousins to leave home and figure out how to live on their own before they start looking for someone else to be their pseudo-moms. It's one thing to leave home for whatever reason and then come back to get your bearings, with the intention of leaving again. It's certainly another issue of never wanting to leave home until you potentially find "the one." Leaving home or just releasing yourself from your safety net has a ton to do with personal growth. Not being able to find "the one" has a hell of a lot do with that, as well. Questions or implications of marriage and/or children were rampant all weekend, as well. How could they resist with two grandchildren on their way? I think everyone is starting to feel rather aged. They want to see their family blossoming beyond their children. Um...that won't be happening for quite some time so no matter how many questions or implications keep coming, they just keep sliding off my back.

Funny moment #1
I was enthralled with the National Geographic Channel's show, Taboo . The program was about various cultures around the world including insects and spiders and other venomous creatures in their regular diets. I was so into the show that at one point, my mom shoves sinuman (sweet rice steamed in banana leaves) in my face and I jerk back thinking it was something as foreign as what I was watching on the television. That's the last time I'll be watching something like that before I sit down to eat.

Funny moment #2
Of course, the karaoke machine needs to break out at some point during a Pilipino gathering. Aunti Linda went so far as to make a contest out of it. The top three singers received cash prizes. Too bad I was still congested. After the sangria was whipped out and some line dancing started, I would have whipped all of the drunk aunties to an oblivion.

Many thanks to Auntie Amy who let Chris and I crash at their house. People were packed at Uncle Andoy's house. The bathrooms were madhouses and I didn't want to stick around to see what they were going to be like in the morning. Overall, the weekend was a wonderful end to the my ill-stricken week. Can't wait to hang out with the other side of the family come Christmas time.

It's raining, it's pouring and all LA natives think the sky is falling!

The one thing LA natives can't do is drive in the rain. The non LA natives know this and get freaked out so everyone gets all screwy on the roads during showers. This entire area is not built for water. The streets get flooded, the highways get flooded, backyards get flooded, garbage cans get flooded, critters' homes gets flooded. It's big news when it rains down here! All the stations think they should be outside IN the rain when they talk ABOUT the rain!

I'm feeling a little better today. Nasal passages have opened up and I can breathe out of my nose, finally!!! Maybe my sense of taste is back. My nose is still itchy and red. Yes, my only sickness for the year, damnit!

Would going to work for half the day today be overdoing it? I'm not completely sure if my director would like me being there but I know I have some cleaning up to do so I'm going anyway. Besides, I have to close tomorrow night for some event so I won't be going in until around noon or so.

Back to the grind...

the one thing i hate about being sick is losing my sense of taste. and with that goes your sense of smell and the ability to breathe out of your nose. sucks when you're trying to get to sleep. i currently have a bag of used tissue next to my bed...blech. at least i only get sick once a year so this better be the one time this happens! this probably also means that i should really start taking better care of myself, including ending all the excuses of not being able to exercise. a little at time, right...as long as i don't get this sick again, i'm all for it. i feel like i've been a hermit for the past two days. i only went out today because i needed to pick something up from a friend. even then, i felt like i was walking under water because my ears are plugged. i'm having the time of my life right now!