Letting go

It's good to verbalize and write down thoughts...just to get them off your chest...somewhat. :-)

Screeeeech

I was raked across the coals today. I kind of had a feeling it was coming but everything was constructive to hear. Would've been nice to have had the expectations explained explicitly to me from the very beginning. It was kind of a blur when I transitioned from one position to another.

Does it matter that I take a little more time to process when someone is yelling at me?

searching...

for a mood but haven't quite found one that fits yet

Last one for tonight

As much as I hate The Joe and some of his tendencies, this one's for him because I can just picture how big of a smile he'll have on his face.

My current tv obsession

Thank the stars for Google Video!!! This one's for my fellow obsessed roomie! "I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING!!!" ahahahahah!

My all time favorite cartoon!!!

The writers of this show were geniuses! Where are they now?!

One of My Toy Stores

This is going on this week. :-( Unfortunately, I can't say I've ever gone. Some of my friends up North are going tomorrow. I'd totally let the nerd part of my personality take over and go romping around through Yerba Buena Gardens and the Moscone Center to check out all the new toys and accessories! I would've gone stir crazy at the Apple store yesterday if The Joe wasn't around.

Another candle

Thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday this past weekend. Wonderful food was shared over dinner with wonderful company. Many blessings to you all and may this year continue to bring your more joy, strength and fun surprises.

A Tradition I wasn't Raised On

As much as I love creative activities, I'm bored by parades. The famed Pasadena Rose Bowl happened yesterday and I was astounded at how many people waited OVERNIGHT and sat in the rain to watch the entire thing. I guess it's a tradition that I was just not raised on but for some reason I've always hated parades. I remember being in the homecoming parade at school and although there was a significant number of people watching the parade, I remember spending hours upon hours looking for various resources to decorate the stupid float and then spending 20 mins. on the stupid float. Senior year, I was so stressed from all the planning for the homecoming float, I got sick and had to be dragged home by Michael and Matt and remember looking back through Mike's hatchback window at everyone working on the float. Trauma...maybe not. I've disliked parades for as long as I can remember, way before high school.

Looking for...

snow gear

I never go up and I'm spending New Year's Eve weekend with the Bernardo clan in Big Bear. Why would I ever need to get snow gear if I'm rarely there?

So I'm looking around for gear and The Joe is of no help to me. "I have to look for my own clothes." fucker.

It's Official

Advent season is now over and it is now officialy the Christmas seasons, through January 6th, that is. For those unfamiliar with the traditions and beliefs of our Catholic lives and upbringing, the Christmas season begins December 25th and ends on January 6th, the date biblical scholars believe to be the date when the Three Wise Men reached Baby Jesus.

I think I'm getting out of my bah-humbug phase. I still feel a little bit of it lingering. What can I say...opening presents and sometimes exchanging them really doesn't do it for me anymore. What's gotten me to start stepping out of the phase is my godson, JJ, running to me as I walked through their door and giving me a great big hug and telling me that he missed me and then plots a big fat kiss on my cheek. Anyone who can't react positively to that is really smoking some major crack. His sister, Jelisa, was as cute as can be in her frilly plaid and velvet Christmas dress, going around trying to eat everything with her chubby little fingers and cheeks that scream out, "pinch me, pinch me!" She is one of the friendliest two year olds I have ever met on the earth! She loves being held by anyone but likes her space when she feels like it and even tells you when to change her diaper by handing you a clean one! Ev was telling me that JJ doesn't like coloring with crayons and staying in lines but loves to paint for hours...goes after his ninang's heart! I hated coloring in lines and much preferred free-form art in elementary school. Both of them are super duper smart. When I was getting ready to leave, JJ gave me another big hug and said he was going to miss me. I can't wait to see them again in the Spring when they come down to go to Legoland. Since I've never been there, I figure I'd take the opportunity and go play with them. :-)

Afterwards, I went back to Auntie Inday's house to tsismis with more of my family and The Monster came running to give me a big hug and kiss as I walked to the family room where he had already gotten to the mahjong set and was creating space ships...just like the ones Aniken rides in. Oh, and apparently he's not Pilipino, he's Aniken-not just a name but a way of life. The Monster, aka Sebastian, has definitely lost a ton of his baby fat. He's as old as JJ but The Monster is about a foot taller.

If this keeps up, I'm really going to want some of my own in the near future. I have yet to see my god daughter so hopefully I can go spoil her tomorrow.

Something fun...

Your Birthdate: January 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Me...discriminate?

Ugh...I was just looking for information on a particular Pilipino family and happened to come across a entertainment gossip website. There were passages about some Pinoy star having a bday at a freakin' restaurant in LA's Chinatown (how fab?! ) and the how she just moved in to a condo in Marina Del Rey and is paying an arm and leg for the monthly rent (even more fab! ). Apparently the journalist was highly impressed.

A few other passages down the page covers the same star's babyshower or something with the same damn people and even more pseudo fabs and wanna be's.

Damn...I'm being such a hater. I don't even know these people. There's just something about the tendencies of OVERLY ma-arte Pinoys that rubs me the wrong way. At least with SOME American celebrities, I can respect them for their art and other societal contributions! But overall, I do detest what fame can do to some people.

because of procrastination...

Just what I was thinking!

December 22, 2005
Staying Afloat Amidst The Spin
Taking Things Personally

Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.

If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.

When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.

One cure for my ailments

Jill Scott - Beautifully Human

This one goes on the all-time best albums list. Every time I feel down, this album always lifts my mood, especially "Family Reunion." It makes me miss my family but creates the mood where you can revel in the fact that your family is crazy but you love them anyway.

My roomie and I love "My Petition," Ms. Scott's loveletter to our god forsaken nation. With all the talks about how the FBI and the government has infiltrated various nonprofit organizations and individuals because of supposed connections to various "terroristic" international groups, this one is probably the most poignant on the album.
"I want to love you but you lie to me repeatedly. I want to have faith in you but you just don't come through like you said you could....O say can you see...I want fresh fruits, clean water, air that I don't see, I want the feeling of being safe on my streets, I want my children to be smarter than me, I want to feel free, for real..."

Her writing is impeccable and incomparable to others in the R&B field right now. Go 'head Ms. Scott and shake your thang!

writer's block sucks...the amount of sleep I had last night or lack there of is probably not helping either

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I just received a message from my friend informing me her cancerous lymph nodes have significantly decreased. Yes, this was the best Christmas present...for everyone!

OMG! Weird...someone was reading my mind!

Gifts From The Heart
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
If you don't exercise care today, you may find that you are overspending your holiday or monthly budget. You may be inclined to express your respect, love, or affection for the people in your life by buying luxurious gifts. But the expensive presents you buy today can have a large effect on your finances tomorrow. Being creative in your giving can help you find the perfect gifts without breaking the bank. Putting aside materialism and looking for inexpensive yet heartfelt presents or making homemade gifts for loved ones can be a win-win situation. Your efforts to find and create wonderful gifts may be applauded as the holiday season progresses. Instead of looking to malls and boutiques for the right gift today, try looking into your soul.

Gifts that cost little or nothing are often the most memorable and meaningful because they come from the heart. Though it can be tempting to spend a lot of money to express your love or esteem, giving heartfelt gifts can ensure that the object of your affection will treasure and appreciate your gift for a long time. Gifts that come from the heart have the power to strongly influence the recipient's emotions and demonstrate that you put a great deal of thought into your choice of a gift. Such gifts are a true expression of your feelings and your thoughtfulness and are often much more individual than store-bought presents. Buying or making a gift from the heart today can be just the thing to make your loved ones' holidays special.

Mantra of the Day

"Treating yourself with gentleness as you move forward on your path today can help you avoid discouragement and inspire you to keep going."