a passion for creativity = an enthusiasm to create change = the power to fight for equality

After being on so many interviews and phone conversations about positions, I'm starting to warm up to the idea of not working in the Pilipino community anymore. More challenges = more growth. I'm keeping positive thoughts flowing. Need to be stringent on spending for now. Will remember that things will work out and that the Most High has great plans for me.

i'm exhausted and i'm starting to worry more. i know the most high will take care but this is starting to get ridiculous. or at least i think it's starting to get ridiculous. be calculated. be persistant. be confident. be true. be uncomprimising and don't settle. must keep moving up. must keep moving.

Song for the Moment

Timeless by Sergio Mendes
Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody that you care

In the world that we live in
Everybody wants to be so cool
To be in the in-crowd
Got the hottest clothes,the hottest shoes
We're reading the tabloids
And we're flossing in the club
But the freshest thing you can do is
Give someone your love

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody you care

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment to...

Give someone your love
To give someone your lalala love
To give someone your love
Give someone your love
Your lalalala love
Give someone your lalala love

The clothes that your wearing
It will one day be out of style
The car that your driving
One day will vax out in miles
Your hair and your makeup
And the time that it takes up
It will take the same care of
Ya give someone ya love

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment
To show somebody you care

Kindness is timeless
Love is so easy to give
It just takes a moment to...

To give someone your love
To give someone your lalala love
To give someone your love
Give someone your love
Your lalalala love
Give someone your lalala love

Give someone you love
Cause kindness is timeless

feeling very melancholy today. my job situation needs to solidify really soon. i don't know how much more i can take of this.

Still Catching Up

Myspace is a craze that has gone corporate. About two or three months ago, it was purchased by Rupert Murdoch/News Corporation. Since then, Myspace has been on television shows, films, commercials, books, everything you can think of...possibly because Murdoch owns them.

Friends at Google Corporate HR also mentioned that as part of their background check, they also look through Myspace. They check to see if their candidates have a site and get any additional information they can find on that person. What?!

I was fine when hiring managers and HR professionals told me they "googled" candidates to see what they could find on them but Myspace, too?

The USC Annenberg School for Communication is starting courses that study online communities and will most likely use Myspace as their "textbook."

The main reason why I decided to get a site was specifically for my family. For some reason those fools really aren't telephone talkers so that's the only way I know what the hell is going on in their lives.

I don't communicate with my friends through the online community unless I really have to. Maybe I'm just old fashioned like that. But I've always been slow to all the new haps, especially when I've been so used to speaking with people directly.

I don't use Myspace for networking and it has never been my intention to do so. Recently I've been asked to and I'm still thinking about it.....

Voyage to India on Repeat

India Arie is one of my favorite artists because, quite simply, she puts out good, honest music. I remember seeing her for the first time as the opening act for Sade in Mountain View. She tried to get people to stand up and dance and she jokingly said something to the affect, "When I come back a bigger star, I guess it'll be easier to get you out of our seats." Let me just say that I was dancing to you, girl!

Voyage to India is one of those cds I can have on repeat for months on end. In fact, I did when I first got a hold of it. This is definitely one of my gems in my collection. She addresses so many life lessons. "The Little Things" pays tribute to the simple things that make our lives that much more happy. "Growth" reminds us that change is the only constant in our lives so we might as well get used to it. It's all a part of the journey. "The Truth" is a perfect metaphor for that person who is just the right fit for you. A fit that's complementary to you nuances. "Beautiful Surprise" is another lovey dovey song that gives thanks to meeting that perfect person, especially when you weren't looking. I can attest to the natural high she sings of in this song. That special person will make you want to love him/her more each and every day even through arguments. "Get it Together" essentially says, learn from hurt and figure out how to heal. I can go on and on about this album. Basically, all the songs speak to me in one way or another.

Ms. Arie, thank you producing such great music. Listening to your tunes always uplifts my soul.

waiting

i went on a great job interview yesterday and determined that i really want it. i know it's bad to place all your hopes in one job that you have not received confirmation on but damnit i REALLY want it! the more i started to hear about the position and the foundation, the more i kept thinking, "was this job made for me? how is it that it fell on my lap?"

the foundation is in their first round of interviews and expect to have someone in place by the first of august, at the very latest. the hiring manager is going to be on vacation sometime during the middle of next month and doesn't want to start anyone while she's away. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that they call me back for a second interview.

damnit, i want it!

I received some relief today. It wasn't exactly celebrated as well as I had hoped. After numerous hours of being on my feet and agravation here and there throughout the day, it would have been nice to come home to something that was a bit more welcoming than what I experienced tonight. I just wanted about an hour of senseless television to relieve some tension and I ended up having to fight for what I wanted to watch from a nonresident! I guess it was too much to ask from a person who ALWAYS hogs the television especially during some petty game for the petty pleasure of watching a nonLA resident continue to prove why he's a great ballplayer.

What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?

Has that proverbial question finally smacked me in the face? I'm in the midst of looking for a new position and there have been a few signs that point to that question and suggestions that I should have a plan. To what extent should I have a plan?

When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be able to look down on the planet and see the clouds swirling as the planet rotated in the universe. I wanted to be among the clouds of dust and particles in space and witness the miracles of the universe. But then I found out that most astronauts have scientific backgrounds. Science was fun for a while but never really my forte since I grew to learn that scientists spend most of their time in labs and don't really interact with people, which is what I'm more inclined to do.

As I became older, I found my leadership skills. I took on various student leadership positions that allowed me to interact with students, teachers, administrators and other school district officials. I really loved to see the whole school policy process take place. With all of that came the understanding of politics and lobbying.

College hit and I took a backseat to all the "leadership activities" that I did in high school. It didn't take very long until I was at it again. I was extremly active in the AS organization as well as various other related activities on campus and off campus. All the while, maintaining decent grades in my business program. I event attempted to get an ethnic studies certificate but it would have taken me another semester and more money, which was not an option. Along the way, I gained experience in the human resources field and marketing. Through all my experience in college, I gravitated towards marketing but if I ever had to, I could work in a human resources field but again...not really something I want to completely pursue.

Today, I find myself in LA, foreign territory. As I drove to work today, I started to recount my years spent at Kaplan. How many significant things did I really learn there? I learned how NOT to run a company, especially one the size of Kaplan, Inc. - an international conglomerate. I remember getting the opportunity to look at demographic and sales data and being a part of the planning process for classes and other test prep products and I remember how excited I was. It was finally something that allowed me to use my brain a bit more. Up to that point, I was droning away at the computer, performing tasks on Quark that required minimal knowledge of the program. I found so many ways to create shortcuts that I accomplished tasks in no time. Since I was among the two people who knew that program inside and out, I managed to survive four or five re-structures of the company, at least in the region I helped to manage.

During my last two years at Kaplan, I startd to get involved with community activities again. I started to re-build my network outside of work. Most of my community activities have been spent with the Pilipino American community, one that's still very young in getting politically and socially organized. All the while, I've tried to stick to the field that I have the most expertise in - marketing/public relations/promotions/event planning. So I guess that's what I want to be when I grow up. It'd be even better if I get into a company that will help offset some of my costs to get an MBA but again, how much value will an MBA add to my abilities? That's another question that I haven't quite been able to answer yet.

Another Reason Why Catholicism isn't All it's Cracked Out to Be

And they ask why non-Catholics AND Catholics are disillusioned with the religion. I hardly believe kneeling vs. not kneeling should be categorized as a mortal sin. Fanatical?...hm....

A Ban on Kneeling? Some Catholics Won't Stand for It
By David Haldane
LA Times Staff Writer

May 28, 2006

At a small Catholic church in Huntington Beach, the pressing moral question comes to this: Does kneeling at the wrong time during worship make you a sinner?

Kneeling "is clearly rebellion, grave disobedience and mortal sin," Father Martin Tran, pastor at St. Mary's by the Sea, told his flock in a recent church bulletin. The Diocese of Orange backs Tran's anti-kneeling edict.

Though told by the pastor and the archdiocese to stand during certain parts of the liturgy, a third of the congregation still gets on its knees every Sunday.

"Kneeling is an act of adoration," said Judith M. Clark, 68, one of at least 55 parishioners who have received letters from church leaders urging them to get off their knees or quit St. Mary's and the Diocese of Orange. "You almost automatically kneel because you're so used to it. Now the priest says we should stand, but we all just ignore him."

The debate is being played out in at least a dozen parishes nationwide.

Since at least the 7th century, Catholics have been kneeling after the Agnus Dei, the point during Mass when the priest holds up the chalice and consecrated bread and says, "Behold the lamb of God." But four years ago, the Vatican revised its instructions, allowing bishops to decide at some points in the Mass whether their flocks should get on their knees. "The faithful kneel … unless the Diocesan Bishop determines otherwise," says Rome's book of instructions. Since then, some churches have been built without kneelers.

The debate is part of the argument among Catholics between tradition and change. Traditionalists see it as the ultimate posture of submission to and adoration of God; modernists view kneeling as the vestige of a feudal past they would like to leave behind.

At the center of the controversy is the church's concept of Christ, said Jesuit Father Lawrence J. Madden, director of the Georgetown Center for Liturgy at Georgetown University in Washington. It's a question raised in the bestselling book "The Da Vinci Code."

Because the earliest Christians viewed Jesus as God and man, Madden said, they generally stood during worship services to show reverence and equality. About the 7th century, however, Catholic theologians put more emphasis on Christ's divinity and introduced kneeling as the only appropriate posture at points in the Mass when God was believed to be present.

Things started to change in the 1960s, Madden said, when Vatican II began moving the church back to its earliest roots. What has ensued, he said, is the predictable struggle of an institution revising centuries of religious practices.

The argument over kneeling, Madden said, is "a signal of the division in the church between two camps: those who have caught the spirit of Vatican II, and those who are a bit suspicious. Because it's so visible, what happens at the Sunday worship event is a lightning rod for lots of issues."

One flashpoint involves the Agnus Dei. Traditionalists say the faithful must then fall to their knees in awe for several minutes, believing that the bread and wine are literally the body and blood of Christ.

Lesa Truxaw, the Orange Diocese director of worship, said Bishop Tod D. Brown banned kneeling because standing "reflects our human dignity. It's not that we think we're equal to God, but we recognize that we are made in the image and likeness of God."

Orange County parishioners are still allowed to kneel at other points in the Mass, including the Eucharistic prayers. Kneeling is optional as worshippers receive communion.

No less an authority than the pope is on record as favoring kneeling. Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, who became Pope Benedict XVI last year, wrote in "The Spirit of the Liturgy," published in 2000, that the gesture, "comes from the Bible and the knowledge of God." He has not addressed the issue as pope.

American Catholic bishops have taken the opposite position. "Standing can be just as much an expression of respect for the coming of Christ," said Msgr. Anthony F. Sherman, a spokesman for the liturgy secretariat of the U.S. Bishops Committee on the Liturgy based in Washington.

That hasn't quieted critics.

"It's hard to understand why any bishop would prohibit his people from expressing reverence in the way they have done for centuries," said Helen Hull Hitchcock, a founder of the conservative Adoremus Society for the Renewal of Sacred Liturgy in St. Louis.

The controversy at St. Mary's by the Sea began to intensify late last year after Brown appointed Tran to lead the 1,500-family parish.

Tran took over following the retirement of the church's longtime pastor, who had offered a popular traditional Latin Mass.

Tran's Mass reverted to the more modern English form practiced in most American churches, and hundreds of parishioners signed a petition in protest. Then, to pull the church into the modern era, the priest told members, they were not to kneel after the Agnus Dei.

Many refused to comply. "Not kneeling would be sinful," said Manuel Ruiz, 45, "because that is what I believe I should do."

Mary Tripoli, 54, a former member of the parish council, was dismissed for her insistence on kneeling: "Standing may be reverence, but kneeling is adoration. It's the one thing that means Catholicism throughout the world. It's what sets us apart."

At least two altar boys, the parish altar servers coordinator and three members of the parish council have been dismissed from their duties for kneeling at the wrong time, according to parishioners.

Angered by the anti-kneeling edict, a group calling itself Save Saint Mary's began distributing leaflets calling for its return outside church each Sunday.

Tran responded in the church bulletin with a series of strident weekly statements condemning what he called "despising the authority of the local bishop" by refusing his orders to stand, and calling the disobedience a mortal sin, considered the worst kind of offense, usually reserved for acts such as murder.

Tran sent letters to 55 kneeling parishioners "inviting" them to leave the parish and the diocese for, among other things, "creating misleading confusion, division and chaos in the parish by intentional disobedience and opposition to the current liturgical norms."

Father Joe Fenton, spokesman for the Diocese of Orange, said the diocese supports Tran's view that disobeying the anti-kneeling edict is a mortal sin. "That's Father Tran's interpretation, and he's the pastor," he said. "We stand behind Father Tran."

Recipients of Tran's banishment letter said they have declined his "invitation" to depart.

Kneeling, said Teri Carpentier, 50, is praying "with our bodies, not just our minds."

During a recent Saturday afternoon Mass, dozens of worshippers defiantly knelt after the Agnus Dei.

One who didn't was Winifred Mentzer, 84.

"I've been standing lately," she later said, "because I'm all the way up front, and I know that the priest is watching. But I'm kneeling in my heart."

Romantic Nostalgia

So I admit to my romanticized memories of San Francisco. I haven't been there in a while and I'm starting to really crave for the cold air hitting my skin, the sweeping vistas of Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, Angel Island, Pacific Heights, Twin Peaks, Golden Gate Park and Downtown SF from Lone Mountain. I miss depending on either the Geary or Balboa line to get me to where I want to be. I miss huffing and puffing my way up and down those damn hills. I miss the rare warm days sitting on the grass enjoying the few sunny sunny days The City gets. First goal after I get a new job - make a trip to SF AND Napa for an olive oil tour and wine tasting.

final numbers

finally was able to get final numbers from our event two weeks ago. i'm not really jumping out of me seat. sponsorships were up, as well as advertising and silent auctions. all expenses were lower than last year but overall, the net gain was about $2K more than last year. boo! :-(

out of commission again today. damn this cold! i ended up leaving after making a few phone calls and holding back my disgusting coughs. strange but it's stopped now that i'm home. hmmmm...interesting.

doh! damnit...tonight myspace became the black hole of my existance!

by the way, stomp is a little overrated after you've already seen way too many variations of tinikling and that other pilipino traditional dance where all the dancers are performing with two sticks in their hands and beating them to the music beat. witnessing other ethnic indigenous dances that use non-western instruments probably didn't heighten the stomp experience either. at some points in the performance, i thought of a group of kids throwing a tantrum and grabbing any possible thing in their midst to make large banging noises to add on to their frustrations.

at least i can say i saw it. thank goodness the tickets were free! thanks joey!

Praise the Lord in Heaven that SIPA's benefit dinner is done done done!!! Of course there were glitches along the way and plenty of people I want to choke hold but it's done and I'm releasing...and continuing on with my job search. Holla if you got some leads!

I've figured it out. Karaoke is only for those with really bad vocals, at least in public. I was contemplating this as I was watching the Lakers' game last night at Max's in Glendale and listening to people amuse themselves with their so-called talents.

I know I will offend some friends in saying this. But I truly think that is why people get on the Karaoke machines in public. There has to be some ounce of humor in the performance or it's just plain boring when someone that can stay on key and in time performs! It's not as funny. I was thinking back on all the moments The Joe and his friends have made me sit through those sessions and each time, they've attempted something humorous to make the experience somewhat enjoyable, at least for me. I think that's often times why I don't want to sing since I don't know really know how I can be funny on the mic unless you're like The Joe and expounds on some Tagalog song that speaks to how a Lola warns her grandchild about falling in love with someone that's not exactly in the same "breeding quality" as her family.

Yes, I do roll my eyes often when the word, "karaoke" even comes up. Yes, sometimes I do feel as if I'm being tortured. Yes, I do require a significant amount of intoxication to get me in the right mood to completely "play along." I can't help it. It's hard to listen to not so good stuff when you try to surround yourself with really good sounds all the time, especially in the crazy situations I often get myself into.

But just because I hate karaoke doesn't mean I don't love my friends and, I guess, my Joey. Just don't expect me to be the first to suggest this kind of entertainment.

Someone read my mind today!

Creating Confidence
Capricorn Daily Horoscope

You may begin to doubt your ability to provide for yourself today. This sense of insecurity could stem from anxiety over your obligations or challenges you may currently be facing. If you can look at your life with an optimistic eye and consider every problem to be a blessing in disguise, you’ll likely regain your confidence about your ability to shoulder your many responsibilities. Consider how well you have dealt with challenges in the past. To do so again, you may simply need to change your outlook and start to believe in your ability to find solutions. Today can be a wonderful time to create a step-by-step plan for seeing to your obligations.

Approaching our concerns with the notion that everything will work out allows us to put our worries aside and concentrate on seeking constructive solutions. In choosing to assume that a situation will turn out all right, our mental state gradually shifts to one where we become confident that we can deal with any problem. We also begin to have faith in our abilities. This optimism can keep us cheerful and practical-minded through good and bad times. Our positive mind-set allows us to see the possibilities rather than dwelling on concerns. Adopt a positive outlook today, and you will be able to focus on what needs to be done rather than worrying about what may or may not happen.

What I did for Mike's Spring Break

Just one of the many things...



Oh yes, the boy was hurting the next day but he had one hell of a ride! Take 2...

A New Stage

All the time I was wondering what the heck I wanted to do with myself and someone makes the decision for me. It's time to go back to corporate life, at least for right now. Time to build up more capital for myself and for The Joe, as he'd like to think, while continuing with all the community stuff as before. It's certainly been a wonderful time and I can fully understand the complexities of working in such an environment. I am also greatful for all the support I've received, personally and professionally...moving with courage and confidence.