F*@kin' USF!

My lovely friend, Ev, calls me last night and informs me that USF has ended all of the recognition ceremonies for the students of color. What the hell?! So the Department of Student Activities wants to make everyone feel as if they are "equal," huh?! Apparently, USF has grown more diverse, which in turn, is producing more alumni of color. Makes sense? Sure does to me! Let's see how they feel when alumni of color start pulling our their funds and participation if this decision is irrevocable. Time to start doing some snooping.

Self Realizations

I like participating in interviews. I always learn something new about myself whenever I do one. Last night was the first night that I felt like I solidified my reason for my desire to work with the community. It stems from the fact that I was raised with the idea of having to take care of my younger siblings and basically all of those who are younger than me. This idea has extended throughout my entire life. Another major drive is the fact that i am a woman of color and it took quite some time to find my own voice and become comfortable with my own identity. To realize that my role in society is significant - regardless of my social status, ethnically or financially and being able to do my part in continuing organizations and facets in society that will foster others to find their own voices and solidify their personal identities is a powerful thing. This is my greatest passion.

Down with technology!

I hate this stupid ipod! I spent the majority of my day yesterday freakin' uploading songs onto it amidst a bunch of cleaning I was doing! All that time and come to find that I was uploading songs in a format that was taking up more freakin' memory than needed! This is a prime example of how freakin' technology can complicate your damn life! And now there's this damn limewire hookup that I can't get out of my damn playlist and I can't find the damn source on my freakin' harddrive! MF! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Is this how it's supposed to work?

I've always told myself that I would never grow too dependent on people to the point where I cannot do things on my own. When you are on the verge of being able to share your life with someone else, where do you draw the line?

I was dissapointed tonight because he wasn't going to join us for dinner. I hadn't seen him all day and I was kind of looking forward to it. Have I really grown this needy, this dependent? We spent the majority of the day yesterday. He finally let me learn how to drive his car and watched a few movies after we had dinner. Was this not enough time spent for the weekend? Was this not enough time spent for the week? How do I measure enough being enough? So, lf course, this got me thinking. How much of my time do I really want to compromise for him?

There's been so many things I've wanted to get done lately. I finally was able to purge my files today and got rid of a ton of old bills and other old documents that have been lying around for way too long. On top of that, I made a list of a bunch of other tasks I want to accomplish around the house. A few more weekends like this and my room will actually be spotless. Everytime he comes over, I feel like I have to make use of my time by myself so I can get a few things done before he comes over so we can actually hang out. Is this how it's supposed to work? Is this how it's going to be forever?

I've wanted to do a few more things to just help me be a happier and more positive person. For instance, I really want to get in the habit of making time to read more books. I figured this would be a good activity to do together and still be productive individually. So a week or so ago, I suggested that Sunday be a reading day unless other things came up. This idea hasn't really panned out too well. I want to do more walking around our neighborhood, especially when it's nice and sunny. Most of the time I've suggested this, my idea has been knocked down. I don't even mind if we go out in the evening! I feel safe doing so, especially if I have someone else with them. As the sun is staying out longer hours, I want to try to do more things outdoors. So there are many things that I'd like to do and, being the super multitasker that I am, I try to incorporate him so we can share some time. Should I even continue to make any more suggestions like the latter two if I've been knocked down a few times already? Damn...might as well do these things by myself!

So how much should I really involve him in my life? Am I being completely over dramatic about this? I think these are valid questions to ask, especially when one wants to continue moving forward in a committed relationship.

And another thing, why the hell does he feel like he always has to make things better when he really can't?! I realize there are times when I am being completely unreasonable and I accept that. Often times, it's just a way to release my frustration. I also know that the only person that can get me out of that frame of mind is me. I have to logically think my way out of whatever bummer of a situation I find myself. And there is nothing in this world anyone else can do to make me change my state of mind, not even him. We've already had a discussion about this. I told him that there are times that he just needs to let me be. JUST LET ME BE, DAMNIT! Have confidence that I know when I'm being unreasonable - at least most of the time. When I think I'm on the borderline, I'll ask for other people's opinions; and that includes him! This is the way I've always been and will most likely continue to be. I like my internal conflicts just the way they are. I think it's perfectly healthy to self-analyze. There are so many facets to my personality. I like exploring all of them in as a part of the process of building a strong character.

So where does this leave me? I'm still awake and a still a bit fuming and his ass is fuckin' snoring off in LA LA land. Serves him right to be reading this tomorrow instead of talking to me first about it. MF!

PS
No discussions will be had regarding this matter at places of employment. This definitely means YOU!

One for the portfolio

Here's an image of my future house:



We found the house in Baldwin Hills after Joe, Elson and I went to the MLK parade last week. I made Joe take a picture of it when he and Elson stopped to take a view of the city. Here's one of the views of the city from Baldwin Hills.



It's a spanish style home with a large window on the left side of the house, a patio in the front, good sized backyard in the back and sits on a small hill. It's adorable. I love the foliage in the front. I'd put a few more flowers and make the foliage a little more tropical but for the most part, it looks perfect. I think it was two stories. If it has wood floors, it's over. :-)

Tourist-ing

One of my favorite buildings in Los Angeles is the Disney Concert Hall. It's this immense, shiny, wavy building that rises from the skyline as you come up the hill on 1st from Historic Filipinotown. Everything about it is gorgeous! The metal panels are laid on top of each other which allows light to be shot through the bottom of the building and through each panel. Since there is no direct light on the building, in th evenings, it looks like it's glowing. It's definitely one of this century's great works of art with great functionality.

The last time Michael came to visit, I took him over there to check out the sites. Here's one of the pictures we took there.



I absolutely adore this picture. It was up against one of the walls in the Concert Hall's garden and the lighting is beautiful. And, yes, my little brother is also absolutely adorable and comes from great genes, if I do say so myself. :-)

Passion #101

Among the many things I'm interested in, food and spirits is definitely two things that I have quite an affinity for. After a late morning start, I turn on KCRW, as I do every morning, and begin to listen to their weekly cooking show, Good Food. I haven't had the opportunity to listen to this show in the past but, man, did this spark up a tremendous amount of creative energy.

One of the topics that were discussed was the insurgence of food blogs in the online community. I remembered one of my long time friends, Les, who added on a magazine idea to his many lists of lifetime goals just recently. And everything just came together! Blogs are free and he and I, combined, can say so many things about food places and experiences we've had in the past and intend to have in the near future. Why not start one of our own? I'm just waiting for his ass to wake up and answer all my freakin' messages.

Diplomacy

There's been all this drama lately about the Filipino American Library's collection being moved to UCLA, West LA College or remaining with SIPA. I can't believe people with the library are actually scoffing at the fact that the public has been making assumptions about why things are happening. If they had put out information to the public about their potential decisions to begin with, no one would have the need to be making assumptions about anything! I've been on a string of emails about this issue and I finally decided to write one of my own summing up the major problem of the situation. I have to say that I've impressed myself at how much I was very diplomatic in this letter.

As a concerned Filipino American community member of Greater Los Angeles, I feel compelled to write this statement on my personal behalf and in response to the numerous emails that have been written about the Filipino American Library’s future and recent events.

I, too, mourn the loss of another historical monument and valuable resource in Historic Filipinotown. As various community factions have devoted some of their energy in contributing to the revitalization of the area, it is disappointing to know that a major resource will be vacating Historic Filipinotown, an area that comprises one of the largest concentration of Filipino Americans in the City of Los Angeles. This, I think, will be a great setback in the economic and cultural redevelopment of Historic Filipinotown.

Over the past few weeks, many messages have been dispersed asking for further information in the form of a community forum or townhall meeting with the Filipino American Library Board in regards to the fate of the library collection. The public’s attempts to gain more clarification on the issue have been futile as hearsay continues to be spread about the Library Board’s final decision on the collection’s fate.

The public’s concern and ownership of the library is natural considering it is a public institution. These sentiments can be likened to the LA Central Library closing or moving. Information regarding such drastic events would naturally be released to the public in the beginning stages of the plans. This would allow the public the opportunity to contribute their ideas for a solution, as well as gain further understanding of the issues pertaining to the situation. In the FilAm Library’s case, no such information was ever shared with the public except for a select number of people.

A press release or FAQ document of some sort that detailed issues concerning the move and FAHI’s final decision would have sufficed. I do not believe paid subscribers or past financial and collection contributors to the library were informed, at the very least. Why were these steps to inform the public and past contributors not taken?

If there was public notice, I am certain the community would have stepped up our involvement in order to maintain the library in its current location. How could the community know how to address the needs of the library without the direction of the library’s leadership?

In a previous email, Ms. Prosy de la Cruz stated, “some folks might be prematurely concluding, without full investigation of what the facts are.” I completely agree because “folks” were never given the opportunity to find out what the exact facts are. So those who have not been privy to meetings with the FAHI Board are left to continue to speculate until the Board exchanges communication with the public. Why has the FAHI Board not yet taken the opportunity to communicate with the public?

Below are questions that have been asked in previous emails (attached below) or from other concerned community members, which could all be addressed in an FAQ or press release, should the Board choose to do
so.
· What does the move of the FiL Am library to UCLA mean? Is this a permanent move?
· Does it mean the Board members have given up control of its management and that they are now relieved of their responsibility to operate/manage it?
· Who controls the Fil Am library now?
· Does UCLA own the Fil Am collection now & that the Filipino Community no longer has a say in library policies & procedures?
· Wasn’t there anyone among those consulted who made an offer to take over the enterprise? Not even a community campaign to save it?
· The move to the UCLA library may have been the best solution from the Board’s perspective, but it is good to hear various grievances now so we can assess the impact/consequences of the move & address them. Is there still a Fil Am library Board member who cares about this?
· It [Fil Am library] was also a venue for a number of activities among Filipinos that enabled them to share their books or gain information, knowledge & education about our community, country of origin, & culture. In that sense, the FIL AM library will be sorely missed. Is there a way we can still bring together Filipinos for similar events at the UCLA library & feel at home?
· What is the main reason the library is being under-used? Was a community education/marketing campaign created to address this matter?
· What kinds of programs has the library initiated to create more public attendance? How successful were these programs? What could have been improved in the process of initiating these programs?

Best regards,
Gerlie Collado

Thanks goes out to Jonathan for forwarding my statement to the entire Board of Directors for the FilAm Library!

roAR!

For some reason, this year started off with a murmer which eventually grew into a roar. There have been drama here in there about different things. Good or bad, all of them have been great reminders of how it really feels to be alive. There are sayings that urge as to live life like we mean it but sometimes we get lost along the way and wonder why we do the things we do every single day of our lives. As a firm believer that there are always reasons to why things happen, I also believe that everything we experience in our lives is just to help improve us to become the beings that we were designed to be. I have so many things to be thankful. I want to continue to give thanks for the life that I lead, for the activities that I have the privelege of performing. I thank the Most High for all of the talents I have been blessed with.

One last time I mention this...I was standing on the House of Blues stage on Sunday...the very stage Prince, Chaka Khan, Jill Scott, Talib Kweli, Gangstarr and many others have stood! Aw yeah!

Off to a Running Start

So tomorrow's the big day. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out at 8:45am tomorrow. Maybe I should go to sleep. :-( I'm starting to feel a little "nice." Kickin' it with my roommates is great.

So it's also the end of the year and people are making their promises of things to do in the coming year. I hate making resolutions. For some reason I always break them. Maybe it is high time to start writing things down, just to help me really make the self improvements I have been meaning to make. Well...nothing like being on a liquid diet for a few days to get a new diet started. Ah...damnit...time to sleep.

That feeling...

I don't know why I'm still awake. It's damn past 1am and I'm still not that sleepy. I was practically falling asleep at church tonight AND I still need to recover from my damn cold. I haven't been able to speak in the past few days! I've been searching for something...that feeling...that feeling that lets me know it's Christmas time.

Every year I get like this. I can buy/make/receive as many gifts as I want and it takes a lot to get that feeling. Maybe because I'm older and more jaded and just see through many things. This year is no different. I don't know how to get that feeling either. Maybe I need to make note of it when it does happen so I'll remember for future holidays. Christmas doesn't really start for me until the 25th anyway. And it really doesn't end until the 6th. :-) God bless those three wise men, and of course, Lola Cresing!

Community is...

This past weekend was another great one. It was busy but very productive.

I was finally able to speak with LR regarding a business opportunity that has direct connections to the Pinoy community. She's getting older and would like to retire soon. The contributions she has made to the community have been tremendous. She's always a willing and wonderful supporter of various events and wants to ensure that the work she has done continues after she's retired. I felt extremely honored that she would think of me as having a hand in continuing such contributions. The main task at hand is to look for a physical space for the business venture. Hopefully the dust will settle soon with a related organization so that plans can be a bit more concrete. Since LR's business relates directly to another organization that is in a small state of limbo, it would be ideal to ensure that services do not overlap once transitionary states have ceased.

Saturday evening was a bit hectic. I'm always amazed how quickly the FilAm ARTS team can pull something together. It just goes to show how great we all are at working together. It was the last night of Dogeaters and it was FilAm ARTS' night to co-sponsor the show. We had a reception before-hand so there was plenty of good food to go around. The caterers were running a bit late so Jilly was running around trying to find them in the beginning. I've grown to just come prepared for setbacks here and there. I've learned to just go with it.

The people on the panel discussion after the event were: Jessica Hagedorn, one of the directors of the Ma-Yi Theater Company from NY, the new Filipino American studies professor from UCLA, Joel, JIlly, Alison and Jon Lawrence Rivera, director of Dogeaters. My stomach always jumps a bit whenever I encounter these types of people from my ethnic community; individuals who have made significant social and cultural contributions that have helped to progress our ethnic group's role in the development of American society. I have great admiration for this kind of work and still hope that one day, I can make similar contributions. There was a panel discussion after the show and the major question to me was, "Where do we go from here?" The play has created a ton of momentum for another production AND SIPA. I was speaking to one of the main people who did the promo for the play and he mentioned how many Pinoys did not even know SIPA exists - another tell tale sign of how much SIPA is lacking in marketing their services to those outside of LA, which kind of makes sense since they mainly service the people who live within a 5-10 mile radius of the office. Many things were said about wanting to see and support more Pinoy productions. No one will give us a voice if we don't demand it and it has to keep going. Much was mentioned on the topic of theater acting as a tool of community organization. Where would this world be without art?

One amusing tidbit of the evening was when I went to bring the panelists bottles of water. When I was leaving, I managed to knock over the tray of water bottles. Of course, there were a number of laughs and giggles in the audience but whatever. I laughed it off and decided to just come back for the tray. ahahahahaha! It had to be one of my best public performances in quite some time.

Afterwards, the majority of us ended up a party down the street. Dulce was hosting it, someone who had been a active with FilAm ARTS a while back. Her property was great! She's renting out this beautiful house that's at the bock of her lot and it's absolutely gorgeous! Joe wanted to show it to me specifically because he knew I was going to fall in love with it!!!! I can't stop thinking about the house! It's in a great spot and it's on the most unique things I've seen in quite some time. I've been in search of someone to get to move in to that place since I can't move in; mine as well keep it in our circle of friends!!!

Reflecting on the entire weekend, I feel more blessed to know that these people have enriched my life in so many ways. It never crossed my mind that I would make such strong relationships with the people I have since I have moved down here. So many faces, so many characters, so much attitude. I love it! It gives me hope that the future will be a little better, a little brighter and a lot more enriched with flavors from all spectrums of life. It feels good to know where I've come from and that I have so much more to go.

Friendly Reminder

It's nice to be reminded how much our friends are truly great blessings in our lives.

AIM IM with Tk
9:51 PM, 12/1/04
AIM IM with Tk: hey you, jus got out of the shower
AIM IM from g1: hi
AIM IM from g1: me too
AIM IM with Tk: got to hit the sac soon
AIM IM from g1: checking email
AIM IM with Tk: guess what
AIM IM from g1: what
AIM IM with Tk: i met a cool ass chick
AIM IM from g1: nice
AIM IM from g1: how cool
AIM IM with Tk: guess what else
AIM IM from g1: your track record hasn't been that great lately
AIM IM from g1: she lives in bakersfield
AIM IM with Tk: nope.....she used to live in stk but now in sac
AIM IM with Tk: she is philipino
AIM IM from g1: what's her name
AIM IM from g1: shut up
AIM IM with Tk: Jemelyn
AIM IM from gcollado1: last name?
AIM IM from gcollado1: and what does she do and how'd you meet?
AIM IM with Tickleme2k: not sure yet...haha
AIM IM from g1: if she's in sac
AIM IM from g1: ahaaha
AIM IM from g1: how long have you known her?
AIM IM with Tk: i met her thru randy
AIM IM with Tk: like a month or so
AIM IM from g1: AND YOU DON'T KNOW HER LAST NAME?!
AIM IM from g1: is that really how you spell her name?
AIM IM from g1: what does she do?
AIM IM from g1: dude...i'm hella suspicious of pinays until i've met them
AIM IM from g1: otherwise, i think they're all shady
AIM IM from g1: i should know!
AIM IM with Tk: i know but she is soooo different from the rest of girls i have dated
AIM IM with Tk: very down to earth
AIM IM from g1: like me?
AIM IM from g1: aha
AIM IM with Tk: yes
AIM IM from g1: o
AIM IM from g1: ok
AIM IM from g1: she's starting to sound a little better
AIM IM from g1: so what does she do
AIM IM with Tk: she has a good head on her shoulders
AIM IM from g1: student or professional?
AIM IM with Tk: she grad from uop same year as me
AIM IM with Tk: she was a communications major
AIM IM from g1: AND she's from stockton
AIM IM from g1: even more shady!
AIM IM from g1: is that where she's originally from?
AIM IM with Tk: she is from san jo
AIM IM from g1: EVEN MORE SO!
AIM IM from g1: ahaha
AIM IM with Tk: ok
AIM IM with Tk: just meet here and you'll b amazed
AIM IM from g1: i haven't even met her...i'm already being critical
AIM IM with Tk: IF this works out
AIM IM from g1: right
AIM IM from g1: IF
AIM IM from g1: so what is she doing now?
AIM IM from g1: if she graduated same year as you, i assume she's a few years younger
AIM IM with Tk: she starts her new job this week...either tomorrow or thursday
AIM IM from g1: and what is that?
AIM IM with Tk: not sure exactly what she does
AIM IM with Tk: i'll find out tonight and let you know
AIM IM from g1: dude...how often do you guys speak?
AIM IM with Tk: ahaha
AIM IM from g1: k
AIM IM from g1: you do that
AIM IM with Tk: i do say she's awesome now but i realize i just met her and i have much to learn about her.....and i am aware of all the mistakes i have made before...i am taking this slowly and carefully
AIM IM from g1: thank goodness!
AIM IM from g1: because i will be the first to say something
AIM IM from g1: but i'm sure you already know that
AIM IM with Tk: i do know that well and i appreciate everything you have to say.....i wouldn't be who i am now if i never met you
AIM IM from g1: ahaha
AIM IM from g1: me either
AIM IM from g1: i mean - won't be me without you
AIM IM from g1: you know what i mean
AIM IM with Tk: thanks...thats very sweet
AIM IM from g1: anyway...she's still on the shady side with me until i interact with her
AIM IM with Tk: sometimes i wonder if i even have an impact on people's lives
i know
AIM IM from g1: WHAT?!
AIM IM from g1: of course you do!
AIM IM from g1: you are another person who motivates me to strive for more than what i've achieved thus far
AIM IM from g1: and to keep improving as a person
AIM IM with Tk: thats so tight
AIM IM from g1: and also remember that life is a trip and we should all enjoy it before things completely pass
AIM IM from g1: i meant, i'm reminded by that from you
AIM IM with Tk: very true
AIM IM from g1: i am so thankful i met you
AIM IM with Tk: me too!
AIM IM from g1: you're one of my many blessings, love
AIM IM from g1: don't ever forget that
AIM IM with Tk: you know my mom still talks about you all the time and how blessed i was to find friends like you and matt
AIM IM with Tk: aw
AIM IM from g1: i love mom, too!
AIM IM with Tk: i never will and i plan on keeping the blessings coming for you

Listen!

Again, I fail to hear my friends when they aren't necessarily speaking. One of my dear friend's birthdays is today. I didn't listen to her when she said she didn't want to make a fuss for her birthday. And yet, I insisted. I can't imagine anyone not wanting to make a big deal about celebrating however many years the great High Being has given them and has allowed them to roam the world and affect those around them! BUT...that's just me. I feel like I failed her. A few of us went out last Saturday and things didn't work out the way she had hoped they would, the way I had hoped they would. And after a while, I didn't know what else I could do to make her happy. Our other friends would probably tell me, "She's an adult. She can have a good time if she wants to. Just have fun and let her be." And yet, it still hurt to see her sadness. I guess that's what happens when we're emotionally bound to loved ones. So what I've learned is to not fight it but go with it. Sometimes we just have to. And then ask, "What do you want me to do to help?" Rather than thinking someone will be happy doing something we personally enjoy. Doesn't always work out that way, as I've found out too many times before. So now, it's time for some redemption. We're all allowed to fall every now and then. Let's hope that we all learn from our mistakes and remember them.

Stuffing

I think it's safe to say the eating frenzy is now over. This was the first Thanksgiving I've spent away from home. It was inevitable. Things change and we just have to go with them. It was really great still being able to cook for people, though. Joe and I tag-teamed on a few things for Thanksgiving dinner at his house. It was fun. I love feeding people and seeing their faces and hearts gratified by the gesture. And I love it even more when things taste they way they're supposed to. I think out of all the things I made for dinner this year, the stuffing had to be the best. It had several different herbs, sweet Italian sausage, apples, onions, bellpeppers, celery, crumbled cornbread and stale bread. Man, it was good! There are a few leftovers so we'll see how long they last. Just a few more weeks until Christmas and the eating begins yet again.

When I spoke to my parents earlier, I was really missing them. My poor Mom - she was threatening to go somewhere if Dad didn't take her anywhere. I can't blame her. When she's working all the time, it's nice to be able to do thing you can't normally do, like go to freakin' Jackson where all the lovely clinking and blinking machines area! I can't believe how often they go there. Maybe it just seems more often to me since I talk to them during their down time when they really want to go. It's more Mom's will than Dad's. I assured her that we were all going to be there for Christmas so she's looking forward to that. I told her I'd cook again since she missed the turkey I made last year. That was a great ego booster. I didn't think she was impressed at all by the food I cooked last year. I guess I'll just have to take it up a few notches to top what I did last year. Too bad Manong Bong isn't going to be there for Christmas this year. I was going to enlist his help.

I'm feeling a bit nostaligic. I don't know where it's coming from. Maybe it's just the season. I was just watching a program on BET Jazz which highlighted teenagers in a jazz band, sponsored by The Grammy Foundation. The vocalists were awesome! For some reason, I'm always brought back to San Francisco whenever I hear jazz. It reminds me of the days I would sit in my room listening to KJZZ while the rain was hitting the rooftop or sitting in Phelan or Lone Mountain watching the fog roll in. I remember the few times I would sit in my living room on 5th Ave., listening to the cars go whizzing by or the bus arrive and leave at the nearby stops. I miss the act of getting motivated to take the MUNI in hopes that the ride wouldn't be too long or too crowded. The 38 Geary would get super crowded on weekends and during rush hour. Whoever thought of the commuter buses were geniuses! Every MUNI ride was an interesting one. Out of all the lines, the 33 Stanyan was the one I dreaded the most. My cousins and I used to call that line, "The Ghost." One time I waited in the rain for about an hour or so just so I could meet up with Manong Bong, Manang Juzen and Manong Ped at the Castro Apartment for our weekly family dinner! I miss the sweeping vistas and all the greenery. The sound of jazz really reminds me of the busy city, how life just keeps rolling by, no matter what you do to try to make it stop. The synchopated beat of jazz embodies the fast and slowness of life; one minute, you're going so fast you can hardly hold your breathe and the next moment, all is calm, chill. Different types of jazz reminds me of different types of people. When my friends and I were all in PMC, we would have periodic dance breaks. That's where I learned all these moves to Latino dances. I had many Latino friends at the time and they were all up in the mix with the cumbia, salsa, and merengue. I remember one time, my dear friend Goodman, asked our friends, Rita & Chris to do a workshop on salsa for his program, in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Even though Rita & Chris were in the know about salsa originating in the tropics rather than Mexico, they still politely accepted the invitation and taught the group cumbia instead. Jazz is the basis of many of the different types of music I listen to. Thus, it would only make sense for me to remember certain memories based on music.

Smells bring me back, as well. I recognize the smell of the seasons. I can tell when Autumn or Spring is coming. I remember smells from when I was a child, down to the type of lotion my mom used to use and how that felt when I would put it on during a sweltering summer day in Stockton. Those were the types of days we couldn't leave the house until the sun had already gone down. It was painful to stay inside the house all day but it would have been more painful to step outside when the sun was at it's hottest. I have yet to recognize different smells according to the seasons down here in LA. It's hard to distinguis the seasons here at all! It was in the mid to low 60s here today but it felt as if it was in the low to mid 70s! I could have worn shorts today! AND IT'S NOVEMBER!

It's in the low to mid 40s right now and it's freezing in the house. I feel like I'm in an ice chest. Thank goodness for my personal heater. It keeps my room nice and toasty. Makes me want to go to sleep. 'Til next time.

Beginning

Thanksgiving marks the beginning of the holiday season for me. I can't believe I started to hear Christmas songs LAST Thursday! I'm going to get sick of them sooner than I thought. I hope to god the girls don't play Christmas songs at work! I'm going to go batty! Thank you marketers for extending the holiday season; more shopping days = more dinero!

My family is, yet again, going through whatever conflicts that's preventing them from all getting together for Christmas. My cousins and I have already made alternative plans to get together at my parent's house. I love my parents for not giving a shit as to the conflicts that are going on between people. When it comes down to it, family is the most important thing anyone can have in their lives. They will make any effort to be together and will do their most to promote that.

It's going to be weird not being with my family for Thanksgiving. This is the first year I've attempted to do it. I've just been up north so many times this year. I'm very much looking forward to just staying home. I don't think I can handle the holiday traffic right now. I'd drive Joe crazy, even without him in the car! :-)

Holidays just aren't the same anymore. I miss the feeling of being a kid and having that excitement of opening presents. And then you grow up to understand the commercialism of it all. The older my family and I have gotten, the more important it is to be together.

I'm either making presents or shopping online for them this year. I can't take the madness in holiday shopping. It gets worse every year. With the positivity of the economy lately, there's no telling how crazy it will get. Thank goodness for the internet!

Ay nako!

So, to top off my wonderful week, a few great things were in store for me this weekend.

I managed to lose my freakin' car key in a dumpster. I don't even want to go into the explanation. Let's just say it wasn't one of the smartest things I've ever done. Thank goodness for my Honda Care Insurance. Freakin' AAA was only willing to reimburse me $60 of the cost to create a new key, whereas Honda is reimbursing me $100. (To all of those thinking of purchasing new cars anytime soon, I've become an avid Honda user. Their services have been top of the line, thus far. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND investing in any of their hybrids.) So that took me about 3 hours AFTER the Taste of Hollywood event to settle. I completely LOVE Joe and Elson for staying and keeping me company until I was able to get a locksmith to the location and get a new key programmed.

After the whole fiasco on Saturday, I was just ready for a calm day on Sunday. After church I joined Joe's familia for lunch. I was privy to a colorful discussion between Joe and his mother in regards to dealing with overseas importing and international workers. Joe gets so frustrated when he speaks to his family, especially when they get into discussions about opposing viewpoints. It was a good discussion, especially watching Joe get so heated over his attempt to get his mother to see the complexities in working with international companies and the affects they have on developing countries. Brian and I got a nice laugh out of it. Nonetheless, we completely understood where both of them were coming from. When talking about business, Joe tends to lean more towards the social end so sometimes it's hard for him to think just about the business end. I think that's where they were differing the most in the discussion today.

Later in the afternoon, I ended up going to see Magnifico with Joe and his mom.

This movie was a bit predictable but it was one of the better Filipino films I've seen to date. I'm not going to give away the movie to those who have yet to see it but I think it deserved the awards it's garnered since it's been out. A large portion of the plot dealt a great deal with the strength of the human spirit and touched on the innocence that I think we all have, even as we get older. I think it comes out more when we're dealing with the realities of life and death. Needless to say, it was a definite tear-jerker. In addition to the crying, I was also able to enjoy the uncontrolled commentary by the older Pinays in the audience. I hate watching movies in a theater setting with older Pinays! They don't know how to whisper! I'm concious of the fact that sometimes I talk in movies but at least I whisper to the person next to me. The people around me don't need to know my conversation or thoughts! I'll save it for the end of the film. AARRRGGGHHH!

It's 11pm and my eyes are getting heavy. The boys are playing foozball yet again and I'm ready to turn in. Goals for the week - send out coverletter & resume to at least 3 listings, laundry, organize papers/bills/cds and FINISH the crochet project before the weekend. TWO DAY WORKWEEK! Can't beat that.

Political Garble

Man, it's been a long week...a lot to download. I remember when I was younger and how much I kept saying that I would never get involved with politics. I loathed it. Now, what do I find myself doing? I've developed such strong convications for social justice issues, for humanitarian issues, and basically anything that affects the masses. I have never been an elitist nor will I ever be. My family saw to that, my father saw to that. That's probably another major reason why I think the way I do. Below is a discussion I had with one of my good friends today. She's a supporter of The Idiot and I was curious to find out why.



Oh no, this dicussion will never be over. That's the joy in participating in a discourse of the minds. :-)

Thank you for your diplomatic response. I do agree that there should be a balance between the "War on Terror" and taking a proactive response to national social justice issues.

Consider this, what exactly is the so-called "War on Terror?" Terrorism has occurred throughout history, on all different levels. I don't think people paid as much attention to terrorist acts until 9/11/01. That event was such at a large scale, it brought the world to its knees. It was determined, by US National Security, that the person responsible was Osama Bin Laden in Afghanistan NOT Saddam Hussein in Iraq. When and how did the US come to focus more on Hussein than Bin Laden? The reason for the Iraq war beginning was based on the alleged fact that Iraq had "weapons of mass destruction" or the capacity to create "weapons of mass destruction." The US and its allies went against the resolution of the United Nations Council and began to wage war on a country and its leader that had less to do with 9/11 than the Little Bugger in Afghanistan. For that very reason alone, The Idiot, the most powerful leader of the free world, launched a massacre of this country's sons and daughters, as well as other countries of the worlds' sons and daughters for what? For reasons that were never warranted. To this day, the supposed weapons or the machinery to make them have never been found, innocent lives are being taken on all fronts and our country's economy and education are continuing in a spiral downfall.

I don't disagree that we should strive to fight terrorrism but have we fully identified the causes? The Patriot Act was created in response of to 9/11 by the xenophobia of The Idiot's administration. As a result, numerous individuals have been discriminately targeted due to their ethnic backgrounds. The different levels of terror alerts and other indications of the amount of security this country supposedly needs has thrown the masses into hysteria. The reality is that the US is in as much danger as it was several years ago when Regan was playing with the Russians and their missiles, The Older Idiot was messing with the Iraquis, yet again, or when Clinton was in office and the World Trade Center was bombed. The "War on Terrorism" is no different from the "War on Poverty" or the "War on Crime." It's just on a more massive scale, thanks to the national media, who is fed information from the government, of course. So what are the true causes of terrorism? We can continue to fight battles but we will never win the war if we don't go to the source. The US government is as much a cause of terror as these other countries and supposed threats, particularly the present adminsitration.

In no way am I trying to sway your opinion, only stating some things that have entered my head throughout these past few months, especially because of the National Elections. The present Iraq War is wrong because it was waged for unwarranted reasons. As a results, thousands of lives have been taken, thousands of families' lives have been torn apart. For as long as US Troops are on duty in the Middle East, I will continue to voice my disagreements.



-----Original Message-----
From: n2
Sent: Fri 11/19/04 4:48 PM
To: Gerlie Collado
Subject: Re: Discussion

Ok-

I think that to conclude this conversation so that both "sides" are
addressed here's my ending statement:

For now, I am satisfied where we are in terms of political decisions. I
feel that the US is a leader and showing an example for the rest of the
world. One day I will tell you that it is "time" to pull out and focus
PRIMARILY on social injustices here in the US... the time is not now. The
best that we can do as individuals is to support the president and our
troops in times of trial. Uniting, although nearly impossible, can move
mountains... it can give the US strength that it has never had before. In
reality, there should be a balance struck between local injustices and war
on terror . For me, the focus should be leaning towards the war. It will
all settle down sooner or later. BUT pulling out now is a choice to be
regretted by both sides.

Have a great weekend.

n2





"Gerlie Collado"
11/19/2004 04:19 PM

To n2

n2 (4:11:15 PM): apart from the effects of war such as the loss of
life (which is not trivial but is an outcome of war) how are people
economically "suffering"?
n2 (4:11:21 PM): since that is what we are talking about
gcollado1 (4:11:42 PM): that is what we are addressing right now
n2 (4:11:53 PM): brb
gcollado1 (4:12:07 PM): my allusion to people suffering is the fact that
the US is under it's greatest rate of unemployment in years
gcollado1 (4:12:21 PM): more and more people are living under the poverty
level
gcollado1 (4:12:43 PM): our educational system is still not up to par with
the international community
gcollado1 (4:13:07 PM): which affects the economy in that people are not
receiving the right amount of education to obtain higher paying jobs
n2 (4:13:19 PM): my boss is back so it may take awhile to answer your
comments but keep typing
gcollado1 (4:13:25 PM): the higher you get in the levels of education, the
more elitist it becomes
gcollado1 (4:13:26 PM): ok
gcollado1 (4:13:28 PM): no biggee
gcollado1 (4:14:00 PM): the fact is that the rich are getting richer and
the poor are getting poorer
gcollado1 (4:14:13 PM): and close to nothing is being done about that
gcollado1 (4:14:21 PM): well, that's a little drastic to say
gcollado1 (4:14:34 PM): but i feel more can be done but it's not happening

Another day....DONE!

Today began with bad tidings. I spent almost two hours in traffic, heard tidbits about all the drama going on at USF today w/The Puppet's visit, and experienced the shadiness of Corporate America, yet again. I tried looking for job opps tonight but was just distracted, either by my own restlessness or my roomie and friend going over one of my favorite poems about LA or Joe asking why his computer isn't working correctly. There's always tomorrow, right? It usually takes me a day or two to gather my thoughts. I need to kick a step up. Another day done, another day to spend in a building, away from the sun and the breeze. I don't know what to think about work anymore. The shadiness of it all...the shadiness of it all...I'm still having an internal debate of what I should do. Is it worth my time to try to change something I don't see myself sticking with for much longer? Damn...I think I just answered my own question. These fuckers are going to get what they deserve eventually, I'm sure. Oh Highest One, please keep me strong and focused. I'm ready to take on the task, especially the ones I've been pushing aside for too long. Love....love...find what you love....do what you love....keep what you love....remember what you love. DONE!

Makati

This one is one of my favorite pictures from the trip Christina and I took to the Philippines last year.
Brian's parents took us to Makati for dinner and we were walking around checking out the sites. It was so good to be back in the city after almost getting stranded in the Ballesteros countryside and weathering a code 3 or 4 typhoon. Apparently, the higher the number, the greater the danger. Ah...fun times. I think we were more worried about the spirits. Thanks a ton, Lolo & Lola! Next time, I'll make sure to announce our presence before walking in for a visit.