6.28.2005

I'm doing...

I'm enjoying where I am a lot more than where i was a five months ago.
I'm not working a 9 to 5 job.
I'm working for a community I really care about.
I get to throw fabulous events for big and small funders/supporters.
I get to check out other events that affiliate groups throw and meet all sorts of interesting people.
I'm healping to increase the perpetuity of one Pilipino organization.
It's all about the money but all for the good reasons.

What if I can be more effective if I wasn't an official member of one group?
Would it be the same case if I were to be with another ethnic organization?
How affective do I really want to be?
What kind of affects do I want to instill in my community?

I can't change the world on my own. I don't know why that thought ever entered my mind...wishful thinking...maybe.

It's a job...it's a career? Still thinking. It'll definitely develop into something, that's for certain.

6.27.2005

Starting off the week...

How is it that pain becomes more intensified as we get older...more so with women, I guess?

And how is it that the first phone call I get this freakin' morning comes with a huge dose of attitude and rudeness even if it's not my fault!?! MF!

Trying to stay positive...the long weekend will definitely not come too soon!

trying to fight off emotional meltdown...damn these freakin' hormones!

i just want to crawl into a little hole and sleep until tomorrow...

6.26.2005

Spirituality and Freedom

To the so-called progressive freedom fighters out there who do not feel that religion should not play a big role in fighting for freedom, I have two words for them - liberation theology.

For the less materially blessed - of necessities and wants, those who really have nothing as strong as their spirituality to make it through; may the blessings of The Creator shine upon you always. Nothing will ever be as strong as your faith and no one can examine it better than you.

Fanaticism kills.

6.20.2005

Ano ba?

An LA hip hop group just put out a new cd which contains a Tagalog song penned from one of their members, I'm sure. It's not the most content driven Tagalog track. But I see it's significant purpose of helping to open doors for other Pinoy artists to introduce their songs to the masses and show how enlightening a Tagalog rap can be other than talking about eating adobo and wanting to be friends instead of getting married. Overall, the cd is full of dance beats which will more than likely be played out at all the clubs this summer.

My first question, where did all the content go? Did their meaningful lyrics go out the door the minute they finished recording the track about getting retarded and took on a female member?

This is one of my favorite hip hop groups. They have been originals throughout their entire career. What kills me the most is their Tagalog track was released in the Philippines with a special promo disc containing a video shot with a bunch of booties shakin' everywhere, as I'm told. It just seems that they have started to fall into really being in the limelight and producing tracks that those who are not as interested in content would definitely purchase, aka, the masses. If that's really the case, sige. I support them but don't think I'll be polluting my ears with a ton of their tunes any time soon. Please don't get too retarded.

6.10.2005

Miffed

if there is nothing in your power to change something, why try?!

6.07.2005

What happened?

Did I just attempt to apply for a position and just get turned down for it? "No thanks, but I'm sure we'll be able to do more with you in the future." I sincerely hope so. Luckily, this is a good friend and there are ways of getting around this one. Oh yes, he will give in.

6.02.2005

Subservience

not a good feeling...not a good feeling at all.

5.24.2005

The Force Explained

Ok...not going to ruin it so no need to panic. With all the hoopla going around about this damn epic, you'd think that the characters and events in this movie were real. Lucas has done a tremendous job of continuing one of his greatest professional creations and, bottom line, make more money for all. Don't mean to sound cynical but that's pretty much what it usually boils down to.

In regards to the movie...it was pretty damn good. Tons of eye candy most of the time but spectacular scenes, none the less. The work that went into creating this movie should and cannot be discounted at all. In all seriousness though, people...it's just a movie. There's no need to go on and on about differences in story line, perceptions on character's personalities and the like. Another bottom line, it's just a movie, a simple story that has many parts. The success of the epic can only be attributed to the populus who continue to treat the story lines and characters as real beings. Instead, I must urge that we take the meanings of the stories more seriously than the literal depictions of the characters and events.

Lesson 1
The idea of equalities always existing in the universe has existed throughout the centuries.

Lesson 2
No matter how hard we try, escaping our destiny can sometimes be a fleeting attempt. Thus, other inevitable events are set to follow with whatever decisions and actions we undertake.

Lesson 3
Releasing all attachments to material things - objects and beings, really is a good thing, indeed. Helps you keep your focus on the non-tangible things.

Lesson 4
No matter what the challenge, focus on the task at hand in order to reach your overall goal. Release all distractions that may come from it and keep on truckin'.

Lesson 5
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, except when they try to knock off a limb with a big ass laser thing.

Lesson 3
Get to a busy ass theater at least 30 mins. before starting to allow yourself plenty of time to hit the concession stand.

Lesson 4
Go to a theater that has reserved seating if you're going to watch something that the entire world has been waiting for. Thank The Almighty for Arc(h)light!

Damn my new found moroccan mint tea obsession! I should've drank this hours ago! Must find other things to tire my mind now. Good night!

5.22.2005

Summer has begun!

First unofficial pool party of the year! if only more weekends can be like this. Went to another bbq yesterday at one of my girl's place. Took in some sites in El Serreno, behind South Pas, and just before Alhambra. Went to dinner at Shamshiri's with the roomies later on that evening. Checked out a new club Jointz has started in Hollywood on Sunday afternoons. Can't beat the free stuff. Came back home to bbq again with the roomies and some homies. Do we really have to go to work tomorrow?!

5.20.2005

Hobby #101

Oh yeah, forgot one more thing. The new project of the moment - growing new plants: basil, rosemary, mint and chocolate mint. The orchids are still growing strong. I let my African Violets run their life. My little vine from college is still growing strong. I supppose I should move that into a new plant holder sometime soon so it can fill itself out. Maybe I did inheret a green thumb from good old dad. I miss fresh fruits and vegetables. I remember the first time I ate an organic tomatoe, it tasted like the ones I would bite into when I was younger...the ones my mom would buy every Saturday at the farmer's market. Kind of sad. Can't wait to eat some seasonal fruits and vegies from Dad's garden.

Who? Me?

"Every so often the cosmos treats us to a bewitching month, one so special it can only be described as truly breathtaking. Dear Capricorn, precisely this sort of month lies ahead for you. You are a hardworking, ambitious sign, but even you realize from time to time that you need balance."

Nice start to the month, wouldn't you say? It's been about three months since I've transitioned to a new work environment and an all around new work neighborhood. The areas I have worked in are drastically different, down the noise I hear every day come 2 o'clock in the afternoon. From the silence I would hear at my cube, comes the pounding and yelling of little ones excited for another afternoon to paint, internet surf, dance, throw, run, read, talk to their hearts' content. I love the noise. My focus grows as the noise gets louder. I've been told that, in essence, this quality is perfect for one in my new line of work.

So now my work life is in gear. Time to make sure my personal life is just as manageable. I need to get all my projects in line. I've been trying to clean my room in weeks. Seems like this is always the case unless someone special is coming over. I've been this way for ages. I remember being just as busy in high school and my mother yelling at me to clean my room. "But Mom, if I cleaned my room, I would never be able to find anything!" I realize that this would allow me to relax and even think a little more clearly but that's just the way I've always been. Something to work on? Well...yeah. All in due time. I'll kick myself in the ass to get in gear when I feel it's really time to do so. Probably another thing I should think about working on - procrastination. I guess if I really want to be a more productive person, I should certainly pick up the pace a little more.

Starting to ramble...maybe it's time for bed. My eyesight is going a bit. It's starting to get a little more difficult for me to look at the screen. Definitely time for bed before I say something non-coherent.

5.10.2005

Truth in History

I was first introduced to Professor Howard Zinn in college through Professor James Taylor's "Race & Ethnic Politics" class. With the many students who had taken Professor Taylor's class, the movement to bring Professor Zinn to campus grew, at least from what I recall. Seeing him speak was one of the few times in my life that I actually felt "starstruck." To see and hear a man who had fought his entire life for labor equality, civil liberties and, of course, social justice, was quite remarkable. It drove my quest to gain more information on how "the system," whether it be capitalism, the great US democratic system, or globalism, can be learned from and changed from within. Being introduced to Professor Zinn and to the concept that justice, in essence, is not always fair, solidifed my own fight for equality.

These types of people are my heros, those who tell the truth about life, about people's experiences, particularly those who have been shun from the dominant society for way too long.

My father was the first. Throughout my lifetime, he has always reminded me of the significance of those who are not always at the top of the economic ladder. Those who toil to bring food from the ground to our tables. Those who perform the most repetitive of jobs simply to ensure that their families and themselves will live as equally as those who have postions that require a bit more grey matter exercise.

To those who continue to speak the truth and fight for it, thank you for your honesty, thank you for your bravery and thank you for your verocity. I pray that you will never lose yourself in the movement or "the system."

5.09.2005

On the Contrary

Ain't that about a bitch! I heard praises all morning long about the great event that was put on last weekend that I worked on. Then I get a nice slap in the face to inform me that not everyone was happy. Ah well...you just have to love how much drama people like to raise, especially those who like to do it often, particularly when it comes to raising awareness of a particular person's power. I can't help to feel a little relief towards the potential shift in power that could happen in the next few weeks. Man, that would be the simple, silent and sweet top to this whole situation.

KCRW always makes me feel better. Sabor a Mi, sung by Los Lobos just started. This song always makes me envision a cool summer night, sitting among the trees, reminiscing about some past love, hearing children play in the neighborhood, and just enjoying the life that the Almighty has given me.

5.08.2005

A Dead Tired High

It's done...my first one! What a ride! I'm so freakin' tired but I was amazed that I still had the energy to go out with George and Elson afterwards to get some drinks. I was such on a high of just knowing that everything was pretty much taken care of and whatever happened that we couldn't control tonight just happened.

Some things to keep in mind next time I have another big event -

1. Make sure to get enough food and rest.
2. Delegate and empower as much people as possible to help with various tasks!
3. Know people's limits and your own.
4. Set expectations from the very beginning.
5. Hydrate as much as possible while on the job.
6. Try to enjoy the event a little more than just walking in and out to just check on the order of the program.

I'm done.

5.06.2005

2 more days!

I CANNOT WAIT! I'm sleeping in on Sunday! We might end up meeting financial goals! Hopefully the silent auction will get us up there. I'm so freakin' exhausted but damnit, I do thrive on this mess! I don't like to have to do it all the time but shiiit, when I need to step up to the plate, better get ready 'cause I don't throw down for just anything. All of this hoopla is for increasing the capacity of SIPA to keep progressing. We have three more affordable housing developments in the works. We want to create more youth programming and continue to grow with the community around us. Hell yeah! Yes, I do love my job! So far, so good!

4.30.2005

Unfair!?

Unfair?! I've been so busy for the past few weeks. I've hardly had time to do my laundry, much less cook for myself. I broke down the other weekend after I spent close to 5 hours at my house all week long because of work and sleeping elsewhere. Excuse me for wanting to spend quality time with the one person in my life whome I thought would understand me as much as my girlfriends. Was I expecting too much again? How come I always have to be the one to ask him how he's doing and how he's feeling? How come I'm the one who usually initates the check-ins? AND, to top it off, I have to pull stuff out of him most of the time! What the hell is going on? For the first time, I'm finally fine with my professional life but it feels like things outside of it are in some sort of transition. I haven't been inspired to cook anything in such a long time. I want to do something with my room to rearrange or something but I don't know what. I want to do something different in the dining room but I don't know what. I haven't sketched anything in such a long time. What the hell kind of phase is this?!

4.29.2005

Gray Matter Exercise

Will someone please dig me out of the drab intellectual hole I feel like I've been in for ages? The best thing about this is that I can't even figure out what I'm in the mood for. The last movie i saw in the theaters was Bride and Prejudice . It was such a smart and cheeky movie...definite chick flick and a I know a few boy toys who would love it!

I haven't even cooked in so long! I haven't felt very inspired. I miss the farmers' market I used to go to regularly. I need to make more of a point to go every Thursday in Chinatown or in Northridge. Inspritation...I can't do weekly trips to Trader Joe's, especially when I know I can pick up fresh produce a bit cheaper elsewhere.

Inspirition...inspiration...inspiration...where to find it...where to find it...where to find it.

4.28.2005

Say it isn't so!

Have I really gotten too old for going out? I've just noticed lately that I don't have patience for all these stupid, ritzy, ditzy clubs. How many times do you go to the same damn place and go through the same damn routine...get your fit right, get your hair tight...blah blah blah. Have I really gotten that spoiled to just stick to clubs or night-outs where my friends and I have rented out a club/restaurant or at least a portion of it to just chill? Have I really gotten into the habit of extending so much energy during the day that I can't even fathom doing much in the evenings except chill out on my bed with a nice book or scroll through internet babble? Ummmm...maybe it's a phase...

4.27.2005

Daily Download

What the hell am I feeling right now? Work has been kicking my butt and tomorrow will be another day. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THIS FREAKIN' EVENT IS OVER!! I completely asked for it. Growing pains...growing pains...growing pains. Man, it's been rough.

Came from a FAN mixer tonight. Not sure what to think about that group at this point. I don't even know what to say to them anymore. Maybe it's just the month. Only two board members were there tonight, minus the two advisors. I haven't been in the mood to network with anyone during the past few mixers. Someone put it quite well tonight - "I don't want to go to those things anymore. It's the same damn thing all the freakin' time. Do something different already!" EXACTLY! Do I still have hope for that group?...yes. Will it stand the test of time and get fully running on its own?...who knows? But just like anything, if people will for something, then it will happen.

The one thing I was impressed with tonight were the three people I met as I was walking out the door from the mixer. They were three men who started a record label in New York and have been in LA for the past year or so trying to push their music into the scene on the West Coast. All three were Pilipino and had mentioned that they were currently working with UCLA's Samahang on something. Taking into consideration that my perception of Samahang isn't too positive at this point, I think it's high time to introduce these boys to other, more general community organizations. I was impressed by their candor and their willingness to network with a whole load of different people. I immediately introduced them to one of the FAN board members and they took it from there. Good luck, Q.

After the whole program for this evening and having someone whine in my ear for most of the night, I'm just completely exhausted. I got on the computer with the intention of doing some work but I'm just not feeling it right now. As I said earlier, tomorrow is another day.

4.26.2005

Breathing

Today was a damn hard day. I feel like I got trampled on left and right and tomorrow will be another day. It's amazing that I actually like what I'm doing. Growing pains...must be patient with myself and must continue to have a little more foresight.