had an annual physical today...kind of like getting your car checked up. weird. waiting for the test results from all the fluids they extracted from my body. THANK GAWD they found the freakin' vein in my arm the first time they stuck the needle in it! one of the times i had to get blood drawn, the damn nurse poked around under my skin trying to find it. she wasn't successful and stuck with a "baby needle" on the top of my hand which HURT MUCH MORE! baby needle my ass!

this is the first time i've been a member of kaiser. thank you, most high for the fact that i can critique my experience with my health provider! i felt like i was being put through an assembly line. after my initial doctor's appt., i went downstairs to the lab to get blood drawn. they gave everyone numbers. when mine was called, i entered a hallway that lead to where 8 people were drawing blood for patients with numbers. weird. i wonder how long the 8 people spent just drawing blood from patients each day. i think the whole visit contributed to my anxiety of being in a hospital like setting. i practically grew up in them because of my dad. i still get messed up walking around in the damn hallways and elevators that all look the same. even the signs that tell you where you're going and where you are look the same so i rarely pay attention to them. if i ever get hospitalized (knocking on wood), i'd never leave my room for fear that i would never find my way back!

Ok, so I was raving about this cd when it was being blasted during KCRW's membership drive but I'm starting to give it second thoughts. The majority of songs are classic sambas and other Brazilian standards that artists have sampled world-wide. Timeless is filled with great reworked beats but a part of me feels like Mendes' artistry and contributions take a back seat to all the American Hip Hop/R&B stars that accompany his arrangements on this album. I think I may also be partially blinded by the fact that the Black Eyed Peas, aka Will.I.Am, haven't really been on my top 10 list of Hip Hop groups since they took on their female member and the depth of their lyrics began to erode. The songs that Will.I.Am raps on sound like every up tempo Black Eyed Peas song that's on their latest album...whoopty freakin' do! Can we be a little more original? So I admit that I may be a little over critical of this album but again it sounds like the producers and other contributors were going for a more "marketable" and "commercial" sound than really focusing on the artistry of the project. You be the judge.

listening

sometimes it's ok if the person you're speaking to can't give you advice on how to handle a challenging situation. it's probably because you really do have to figure out the answer on your own.

and sometimes, it truly does help to vent out your frustrations with someone else, which really does sometimes lead to your solution.

Dinner Season

Damn...I can feel it. It's been nonstop today. I hate unproductive ass meetings where people just like to hear themselves talk. What the hell are you going to call a damn meeting for if you nothing results from it! Some people!

I feel like I have 50 million things to take care of at home plus all the crap I have to take care of at work...weekends are made to just stay home. Thank goodness this only happens for a little while.

time to get my act in gear, time to start saving more, time to start taking care of myself more (spiritually and physically)...staying positive

Hero?

In the past week after the Pacquiao/Morales boxing match, everyone has been buzzing about their beloved "Pacman." Everyone, as in, all Pilipinos including my very dear Joe.

The main reason for my non-bandwagon jumping ass is that I'm highly disturbed that the Philippines and Pilipinos around the world, have found a new persona to place their "heroic" labels on, yet again. I can see it now. When Pacquiao retires from boxing, one of his "homies" is going to talk him into running for office and there you have it...the tradition of non-qualified elected officials and the Philippines being at the bottom of the international economy continues. I'm SO looking forward to it!

Ok, maybe I'm making too many assumptions. Who's to say that he'll decline pleas of running for office? Who's to say the he won't genuinely become more politically active and informed? So maybe he will be a great leader some day but that day has yet to come!

The bottom line is that Pilipinos have a history of placing "famous" people on pedastals as if they know all, see all, hear all, comman all. In general, expectations are set for falsely idolized individuals as high as God sometimes! And when things go awry, the blame gets placed on those individuals who were elected or put in charge. Shouldn't the blame go to the people who elected the person to office? (This, in particular, applies to all the Bush mo-fus, too.) The good leaders or at least the ones with a little more ethics are the ones who decline to be in such a position of power because they personally feel that they are unqualified for the duties. The ones who have helped to keep in the Philippines in disarray as well as maintain its wonderful status of "developing country" are most likely those who are in power and will most likely stay in power for the rest of the country's natural being.

Is there hope? If so, what kind of hope may that be? Can the country be "saved"? I'd like to remain optimistic. But just like my uncle who tills the talon and struggles to send my cousins to school, one at a time, it's difficult to keep hope if you get pushed down so often.

Security Measures

As much as BofA irritates me, they saved my ass this morning. A representative from their Fraud Detection office called me this morning asking me if I had authorized a check that was WAY more than what was in my check account right now. I didn't recognize the name of the person or the company's name that was on the check! SCARY that someone would have that much info on me to be able to do that!!! Bastards!

I filed my claim with BofA and went through the steps of closing my account and getting a new one. The only drawback is that I don't get new checks until next week and I don't have auto deposit on my paycheck for this cycle. The nice BofA rep I was dealing with at the Chinatown branch was kind enough to offer me a free cashier's check if I needed it before my actual checks arrived.

Lessons learned -
1. Don't make online payments or do online banking over unsecured wireless networks...never again!
2. Make sure your firewall is functioning the entire time!
3. Keep your account info as confidential as possible, particularly to those who have absolutely no business having it.
4. NEVER NEVER carry your social security card on you! If your wallet gets stolen with the card, it makes it that much easier to apply for finance with your identity...yes speaking from experience! After that, I've made it virtually impossible for other people to apply for finance under my identity and have made it even more difficult for me to get credit...may have a been a good thing for me. :-)

Safe shopping, my lovelies!

Letting go

It's good to verbalize and write down thoughts...just to get them off your chest...somewhat. :-)

Screeeeech

I was raked across the coals today. I kind of had a feeling it was coming but everything was constructive to hear. Would've been nice to have had the expectations explained explicitly to me from the very beginning. It was kind of a blur when I transitioned from one position to another.

Does it matter that I take a little more time to process when someone is yelling at me?

searching...

for a mood but haven't quite found one that fits yet

Last one for tonight

As much as I hate The Joe and some of his tendencies, this one's for him because I can just picture how big of a smile he'll have on his face.

My current tv obsession

Thank the stars for Google Video!!! This one's for my fellow obsessed roomie! "I'm NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CRYING!!!" ahahahahah!

My all time favorite cartoon!!!

The writers of this show were geniuses! Where are they now?!

One of My Toy Stores

This is going on this week. :-( Unfortunately, I can't say I've ever gone. Some of my friends up North are going tomorrow. I'd totally let the nerd part of my personality take over and go romping around through Yerba Buena Gardens and the Moscone Center to check out all the new toys and accessories! I would've gone stir crazy at the Apple store yesterday if The Joe wasn't around.

Another candle

Thanks to all who helped celebrate my birthday this past weekend. Wonderful food was shared over dinner with wonderful company. Many blessings to you all and may this year continue to bring your more joy, strength and fun surprises.

A Tradition I wasn't Raised On

As much as I love creative activities, I'm bored by parades. The famed Pasadena Rose Bowl happened yesterday and I was astounded at how many people waited OVERNIGHT and sat in the rain to watch the entire thing. I guess it's a tradition that I was just not raised on but for some reason I've always hated parades. I remember being in the homecoming parade at school and although there was a significant number of people watching the parade, I remember spending hours upon hours looking for various resources to decorate the stupid float and then spending 20 mins. on the stupid float. Senior year, I was so stressed from all the planning for the homecoming float, I got sick and had to be dragged home by Michael and Matt and remember looking back through Mike's hatchback window at everyone working on the float. Trauma...maybe not. I've disliked parades for as long as I can remember, way before high school.

Looking for...

snow gear

I never go up and I'm spending New Year's Eve weekend with the Bernardo clan in Big Bear. Why would I ever need to get snow gear if I'm rarely there?

So I'm looking around for gear and The Joe is of no help to me. "I have to look for my own clothes." fucker.

It's Official

Advent season is now over and it is now officialy the Christmas seasons, through January 6th, that is. For those unfamiliar with the traditions and beliefs of our Catholic lives and upbringing, the Christmas season begins December 25th and ends on January 6th, the date biblical scholars believe to be the date when the Three Wise Men reached Baby Jesus.

I think I'm getting out of my bah-humbug phase. I still feel a little bit of it lingering. What can I say...opening presents and sometimes exchanging them really doesn't do it for me anymore. What's gotten me to start stepping out of the phase is my godson, JJ, running to me as I walked through their door and giving me a great big hug and telling me that he missed me and then plots a big fat kiss on my cheek. Anyone who can't react positively to that is really smoking some major crack. His sister, Jelisa, was as cute as can be in her frilly plaid and velvet Christmas dress, going around trying to eat everything with her chubby little fingers and cheeks that scream out, "pinch me, pinch me!" She is one of the friendliest two year olds I have ever met on the earth! She loves being held by anyone but likes her space when she feels like it and even tells you when to change her diaper by handing you a clean one! Ev was telling me that JJ doesn't like coloring with crayons and staying in lines but loves to paint for hours...goes after his ninang's heart! I hated coloring in lines and much preferred free-form art in elementary school. Both of them are super duper smart. When I was getting ready to leave, JJ gave me another big hug and said he was going to miss me. I can't wait to see them again in the Spring when they come down to go to Legoland. Since I've never been there, I figure I'd take the opportunity and go play with them. :-)

Afterwards, I went back to Auntie Inday's house to tsismis with more of my family and The Monster came running to give me a big hug and kiss as I walked to the family room where he had already gotten to the mahjong set and was creating space ships...just like the ones Aniken rides in. Oh, and apparently he's not Pilipino, he's Aniken-not just a name but a way of life. The Monster, aka Sebastian, has definitely lost a ton of his baby fat. He's as old as JJ but The Monster is about a foot taller.

If this keeps up, I'm really going to want some of my own in the near future. I have yet to see my god daughter so hopefully I can go spoil her tomorrow.

Something fun...

Your Birthdate: January 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Me...discriminate?

Ugh...I was just looking for information on a particular Pilipino family and happened to come across a entertainment gossip website. There were passages about some Pinoy star having a bday at a freakin' restaurant in LA's Chinatown (how fab?! ) and the how she just moved in to a condo in Marina Del Rey and is paying an arm and leg for the monthly rent (even more fab! ). Apparently the journalist was highly impressed.

A few other passages down the page covers the same star's babyshower or something with the same damn people and even more pseudo fabs and wanna be's.

Damn...I'm being such a hater. I don't even know these people. There's just something about the tendencies of OVERLY ma-arte Pinoys that rubs me the wrong way. At least with SOME American celebrities, I can respect them for their art and other societal contributions! But overall, I do detest what fame can do to some people.