Looking for...

snow gear

I never go up and I'm spending New Year's Eve weekend with the Bernardo clan in Big Bear. Why would I ever need to get snow gear if I'm rarely there?

So I'm looking around for gear and The Joe is of no help to me. "I have to look for my own clothes." fucker.

It's Official

Advent season is now over and it is now officialy the Christmas seasons, through January 6th, that is. For those unfamiliar with the traditions and beliefs of our Catholic lives and upbringing, the Christmas season begins December 25th and ends on January 6th, the date biblical scholars believe to be the date when the Three Wise Men reached Baby Jesus.

I think I'm getting out of my bah-humbug phase. I still feel a little bit of it lingering. What can I say...opening presents and sometimes exchanging them really doesn't do it for me anymore. What's gotten me to start stepping out of the phase is my godson, JJ, running to me as I walked through their door and giving me a great big hug and telling me that he missed me and then plots a big fat kiss on my cheek. Anyone who can't react positively to that is really smoking some major crack. His sister, Jelisa, was as cute as can be in her frilly plaid and velvet Christmas dress, going around trying to eat everything with her chubby little fingers and cheeks that scream out, "pinch me, pinch me!" She is one of the friendliest two year olds I have ever met on the earth! She loves being held by anyone but likes her space when she feels like it and even tells you when to change her diaper by handing you a clean one! Ev was telling me that JJ doesn't like coloring with crayons and staying in lines but loves to paint for hours...goes after his ninang's heart! I hated coloring in lines and much preferred free-form art in elementary school. Both of them are super duper smart. When I was getting ready to leave, JJ gave me another big hug and said he was going to miss me. I can't wait to see them again in the Spring when they come down to go to Legoland. Since I've never been there, I figure I'd take the opportunity and go play with them. :-)

Afterwards, I went back to Auntie Inday's house to tsismis with more of my family and The Monster came running to give me a big hug and kiss as I walked to the family room where he had already gotten to the mahjong set and was creating space ships...just like the ones Aniken rides in. Oh, and apparently he's not Pilipino, he's Aniken-not just a name but a way of life. The Monster, aka Sebastian, has definitely lost a ton of his baby fat. He's as old as JJ but The Monster is about a foot taller.

If this keeps up, I'm really going to want some of my own in the near future. I have yet to see my god daughter so hopefully I can go spoil her tomorrow.

Something fun...

Your Birthdate: January 6

You tend to be a the rock in relationships - people depend on you. Thoughtful and caring, you often put others needs first. You aren't content to help those you know... you want to give to the world. An idealist, you strive for positive change and dream about how much better things could be. Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Me...discriminate?

Ugh...I was just looking for information on a particular Pilipino family and happened to come across a entertainment gossip website. There were passages about some Pinoy star having a bday at a freakin' restaurant in LA's Chinatown (how fab?! ) and the how she just moved in to a condo in Marina Del Rey and is paying an arm and leg for the monthly rent (even more fab! ). Apparently the journalist was highly impressed.

A few other passages down the page covers the same star's babyshower or something with the same damn people and even more pseudo fabs and wanna be's.

Damn...I'm being such a hater. I don't even know these people. There's just something about the tendencies of OVERLY ma-arte Pinoys that rubs me the wrong way. At least with SOME American celebrities, I can respect them for their art and other societal contributions! But overall, I do detest what fame can do to some people.

because of procrastination...

Just what I was thinking!

December 22, 2005
Staying Afloat Amidst The Spin
Taking Things Personally

Every time you interact with others, you have the choice to listen to, acknowledge, and let go of their words, or you can take what they are saying personally. Taking things personally is often the result of perceiving a person's actions or words as an affront or slight. In order to take something personally, you must read negative intent in an individual's words or actions. But what people do and say has no bearing upon you and is usually based on their own experiences, emotions, and perceptions. If you attempt to take what they do or say personally, you may end up feeling hurt without reason.

If you are tempted to take a comment or action personally, creating some distance between yourself and the other person can help you. Try to determine what is at the root of your feelings. Ask yourself if the other person's words or actions are just reinforcing some insecurity within you or if you can really be sure that an offense was intended. You may even want to ask them what they meant. Finally, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Instead of taking their words as the truth, or as a personal affront, remember that whatever was said or done is based on their opinion and is more reflective of what is going on inside of them, rather than having anything to do with you. You may have been an easy target for someone having a bad day, and their comments may have been offered with no ill intentions.

When you recognize that what anyone says or does doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, you will no longer feel hurt or attacked. While it's easy to take things personally, you should never let anyone's perceptions or actions affect how you see yourself or your worth. Your life is personal to you, and it is up to you to influence your own value and sense of well-being.

One cure for my ailments

Jill Scott - Beautifully Human

This one goes on the all-time best albums list. Every time I feel down, this album always lifts my mood, especially "Family Reunion." It makes me miss my family but creates the mood where you can revel in the fact that your family is crazy but you love them anyway.

My roomie and I love "My Petition," Ms. Scott's loveletter to our god forsaken nation. With all the talks about how the FBI and the government has infiltrated various nonprofit organizations and individuals because of supposed connections to various "terroristic" international groups, this one is probably the most poignant on the album.
"I want to love you but you lie to me repeatedly. I want to have faith in you but you just don't come through like you said you could....O say can you see...I want fresh fruits, clean water, air that I don't see, I want the feeling of being safe on my streets, I want my children to be smarter than me, I want to feel free, for real..."

Her writing is impeccable and incomparable to others in the R&B field right now. Go 'head Ms. Scott and shake your thang!

writer's block sucks...the amount of sleep I had last night or lack there of is probably not helping either

The Best Christmas Present Ever

I just received a message from my friend informing me her cancerous lymph nodes have significantly decreased. Yes, this was the best Christmas present...for everyone!

OMG! Weird...someone was reading my mind!

Gifts From The Heart
Capricorn Daily Horoscope
If you don't exercise care today, you may find that you are overspending your holiday or monthly budget. You may be inclined to express your respect, love, or affection for the people in your life by buying luxurious gifts. But the expensive presents you buy today can have a large effect on your finances tomorrow. Being creative in your giving can help you find the perfect gifts without breaking the bank. Putting aside materialism and looking for inexpensive yet heartfelt presents or making homemade gifts for loved ones can be a win-win situation. Your efforts to find and create wonderful gifts may be applauded as the holiday season progresses. Instead of looking to malls and boutiques for the right gift today, try looking into your soul.

Gifts that cost little or nothing are often the most memorable and meaningful because they come from the heart. Though it can be tempting to spend a lot of money to express your love or esteem, giving heartfelt gifts can ensure that the object of your affection will treasure and appreciate your gift for a long time. Gifts that come from the heart have the power to strongly influence the recipient's emotions and demonstrate that you put a great deal of thought into your choice of a gift. Such gifts are a true expression of your feelings and your thoughtfulness and are often much more individual than store-bought presents. Buying or making a gift from the heart today can be just the thing to make your loved ones' holidays special.

Mantra of the Day

"Treating yourself with gentleness as you move forward on your path today can help you avoid discouragement and inspire you to keep going."

presents

giving presents is an age old tradition of a means to pay reverance to someone for something. the world has transformed it into an absolute bottom line fattening scheme...greedy bastards. who could blame them? if you didn't make your year in sales, the last of the year is the absolute last time to do it before the end of the fiscal year, right? makes me not want to get anything at all, for the sheer principle. damn my principles.

Holiday...er Christmas Cheer

Oh man...tis the time of year! As you're reading the article, keep in mind a few more perspectives:
1. Seperation of church and state, according to US law - where do you draw the line and how far do you want to interpret it?
2. If schools are truly wanting to be more multi-cultural than have celebrations for all the damn holidays - Kwanzaa, Hanukah, Pagan Solstice & Christmas.
3. Does it really matter what stores/companies are doing? Is it not enough that you stay true to your own beliefs and keep your traditions strong in your families? How big of a battle are you looking to fight?

A Very Wary Christmas
Retailers and governments heed the wrath of Christians who seek recognition of the sanctity of the occasion. Attorneys are standing by.
By Stephanie Simon
Times Staff Writer

December 9, 2005

PARKER, Colo. — Christmas is back.

A few weeks ago, banners outside every Lowe's store in the nation announced a sale on "Holiday Trees." Hundreds of Christians called to complain that the home-improvement chain was shunning Christmas.

The banners came down. Now the fake firs and pines are clearly labeled "Christmas Trees."

Target, too, started the season with a generic marketing theme. It pushed holiday plates, holiday leggings, holiday ornaments, holiday trees — with nary a mention of Christmas. Then, more than 500,000 shoppers signed an online pledge to boycott the chain. This week, Target promised to bring more Christmas into its stores as Dec. 25 approaches.

For the third year in a row, Christians nationwide have mobilized to put the holy back in the holiday. And they are winning battle after battle.

Their most publicized victories have come in the retail realm, where they have urged stores to acknowledge that the December shopping frenzy is not just about scoring a cheap DVD player, but also about celebrating Christ's birth.

Walgreen Co. says it's too late to change this year's "holiday" circulars, but in response to dozens of customer complaints, it has promised to bring back the word "Christmas" in its 2006 ads.

Macy's — the subject of a small boycott last year — sent activists a letter touting its use of "Merry Christmas" in ads, store windows and a TV jingle. A Macy's executive vice president, Louis M. Meunier, pledged that the company would use Christmas in even more marketing next year.

Defenders of Christmas hailed the news with triumph.

But they haven't stopped at the mall door.

At least 1,500 attorneys have volunteered to sue any town that tries to keep Nativity scenes out of its holiday displays. About 8,000 public school teachers stand ready to report any principal who removes "Silent Night" from the choir program.

The volunteers are armed with a seven-page memo that lays out the case for Jesus in public school concerts, for creches in the classroom and for mangers in city parks (as long as the religious references are balanced with secular songs and decorations).

The memo was written by the Liberty Counsel, a nonprofit law firm based in Orlando, Fla., that is affiliated with the Rev. Jerry Falwell. The firm won a federal ruling in 2003 that said several Massachusetts high schoolers' free-speech rights were violated when they were suspended for distributing candy canes adorned with religious greetings.

This week, the Liberty Counsel won against two Florida towns that had agreed to let locals decorate a public park with a Christmas tree and a menorah but not a Nativity scene. The nonprofit law firm had no sooner filed suit in federal court than the towns reversed course and permitted a display depicting Jesus' birth.

Liberty Counsel President Mathew D. Staver has also threatened to sue two Wisconsin elementary schools over choir concerts he says deny the religious nature of Christmas by featuring songs about Santa instead of Jesus.

One of the districts Staver has questioned does include the religious song "Angels We Have Heard on High" in a "holiday sing." But he remains convinced that secularists have declared a "war on Christmas," in some cases going so far as to change the lyrics of songs like "Silent Night" to remove any reference to Christ's birth.

"People often think the safest route is to censor Christmas," Staver said. "But to be inclusive, you need to recognize all aspects of the holiday."

That message has even made its way into politics. After a decade as a generic holiday tree, the twinkling conifer at the Capitol is a Christmas tree once more, thanks to a request by House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.).

Some Christian leaders have taken their campaign to the White House, expressing outrage this week over the annual White House greeting card, which offers wishes for a happy "holiday season." President Bush, they said, had better start wishing them a "Merry Christmas" instead.

Such demands have some skeptics crying Grinch.

"To call out a team of lawyers to insist that people say 'Merry Christmas' — what could be less in the Christmas spirit?" asked Jeremy Gunn, director of the American Civil Liberties Union's Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief.

"Don't they have anything better to do?" he asked.

Christian activists respond that this is one of the most important causes they can imagine.

In their view, God, prayer and faith have been unfairly pushed out of the public square — out of classrooms, city halls and now shopping malls — in the name of multiculturalism.

"Even people who aren't normally churchgoers are saying they're sick of it," said Jennifer Giroux of Cincinnati, who has begun marketing $2 rubber bracelets stamped "Just Say 'Merry Christmas.' " In her first week in business, she sold about 5,000.

She and others see the secularization of Christmas as political correctness gone mad. Tying their campaign to such commercial yardsticks, such as the number of times the word "Christmas" is mentioned in an advertising circular, is their effort to elevate the holy, they say, by making sure no shopper, parade-watcher or first-grade choir student can forget what all the tinsel and trimmings are about.

That means insisting that everyone call Christmas "Christmas" — and nothing else.

"Christmas is not a holiday. A holiday is when you take a day off work and run around playing," said Randy Sharp, director of special projects for the American Family Assn., which led the Target campaign. Using the word "holiday" for Dec. 25 devalues "our nation's most holy day," Sharp said. "And I take offense."

Shoppers rushing into a Lowe's in this suburb south of Denver tended to agree.

"We're celebrating Christ's birthday," said Renee Tillitz, 34. "This is not just a time to buy people a lot of junk."

"It's Christmas! It's Christmas! So call it Christmas!" Dick Warner, 77, fairly shouted.

The defenders of Christmas take pains to explain they're not asking to monopolize the season. They say they'd welcome store displays wishing customers a Happy Hanukkah or a Blessed Kwanzaa or even a Joyous Pagan Solstice along with a Merry Christmas. What they object to is the rigorously neutral message that has become common.

"Renaming a Christmas tree a holiday tree doesn't make any more sense than taking a menorah and renaming it a candlestick," said Staver of the Liberty Counsel.

The law firm and other groups have used the "battle for Christmas" as a fundraising pitch. Some activists have also tried to turn the campaign into a political issue. Fox News Channel host John Gibson came out with a book this fall called "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christmas Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought."

Critics on the left say right-wing leaders are creating a crisis to rile voters.

If so, it hasn't worked on Mary Rittler, 78.

She prefers "Christmas" to "holiday," but as she pushed her cart through a Lowe's parking lot, Rittler said the semantic scrap seemed much ado about nothing.

Then she paused.

Musing aloud, she said there was one holiday battle that seemed to her worth fighting.

"You talk about offended — I'm offended when stores start putting up Christmas lights in November," she said. "Let Thanksgiving have its day."

Challenge

The Joe and I have the task of preparing New Year's Eve dinner for the Bernardo/Domingo clan camping trip. I was thinking of putting a creative spin on things and making "good luck" dishes from various cultures after watching a few programs on The Style Network, The Food Channel, HGTV, and The Travel Channel.

I'm torn between how much preparation and research it's going to take and how much all the flavors are going to mix well with each other. So far, I've found out that noodles are for long life in the Chinese culture. I've only uncovered a few desserts from the Philippines. My mom always makes arroz caldo for the New Year. We'll see how this one goes.

Anyone else got any resources?

California, Sweet California!

I can firmly say that I've been to Utah and will NEVER live there! I was in Provo from Monday of this week through Thursday. I was there for supervisor training with the AmeriCorps*VISTA Program.

The people I was with were great! I met a number of colleagues in various nonprofit and public organizations throughout the West Coast. Why were the Californians the rowdiest?! It was great networking with a ton of people who were going through similar professional and community challenges! Admist all the negativity you hear regarding the United States, it was also wonderful and affirming to see other people who are dedicated to creating better communities in our nation. So I guess I was kind of proud to be an American during the time I was at the training.

Some interesting haps- figures that the Californians would get stuck in the room with the worst heating. It was as cold in our workshop room as it was outdoors. It was in the 40s the entire time with a bit of snow and tons of sun. The best part of the room were the windows that looked out onto the mountains a few miles away. The air was super thin since we were at a higher elevation. I decided to do a little yoga one morning and I almost died because the air was so thin.

Here's a picture of the hotel with the mountains in the background. The picture is from Marriott's website. As you can tell, it was probably taken in a non-winter month since there isn't any snow on the peaks. At least I got some use out of my cutsy red coat!


I went up with my workshop group to the Sundance Resort during the last night we were there. Too bad we got there AFTER the sun had set AND it was snowing. We walked around a bit and checked out the restaurants, deli, lodge and shop. It was cute, with a creek flowing through the middle of the resort. We ended up eating at The Foundry Grill. I had the salmon and one of the best pinot grigio's I've had in such a long time! I can't remember the name of the maker, though!!! It was so buttery, fruity and softly scented, I'm almost tempted to call the resort to find out where the heck I can get a bottle of it! So yes, eating at one of the best restaurants in the area totally made up for the hotel banquet food we were being fed the entire duration of training.

I totally felt like I was in "Oldtown America." The street behind the hotel had restored buildings with some stores that had been there since the 1800s. I guess things don't change very quickly in Provo. I went to a bar with three peeps on Tuesday night and shared a pitcher of Polygamy Porter, proudly dawning the tagline "Why have just one?"

It tasted like a fruitier and lighter version of Guinness. The other interestingly named brew was 1st Amendment Pale Ale. Benjamin Franklin appears on the bottle of this drink. Apparently it was in protest of some kind of alcohol tax in Utah. Each bar charges a sort of cover charge but I think I remember it being called a "membership fee." Nonlocals get a card that states they've paid the membership fee so they can come back for the duration of the card. Not sure what the story is behind this one.

Just as I was getting used to the thin air, it was time to get home. I came home to 80 degree weather...THANK GAWD I LIVE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! I'm never leaving this god-forsaken state!

Weekend with the Fam

Spent the weekend with the Family, my mom's side, to be exact. I didn't grow up with them so times spent with this side are greatly cherished. I love visiting everyone in Los Osos. This is the view of Morro Bay with Morro Rock from Los Osos.

We decided to make a stop in Santa Barbara since we had plenty of time to get up to my familys'. Chris and I parked along Ocean Ave., near Downtown. We parked and took a walk to the pier, hoping to grab a taste of good seafood from one of the places that was featured in an episode of $40 a Day with the overly chipper Rachael Ray. Folks, the fresh seafood at the Santa Barbara Shellfish Company at the end of the pier is no joke. All the prices are super affordable because they always sell the stock for the day. They just have counters to sit at, as well as public tables on the pier so plan accordingly. The crabsalad sandwich was super yummy and my friend was diggin' the calamari sandwich. Their market rate steamed lobster with salad was featured on the show. Market rate means that the price of the lobster is less during peak season (Oct.-Mar.), which also means that it's best to get the lobster then as opposed to any other time of the year. Having gone to school in San Francisco, Chris and I were both glad to be next to the clean ocean again. The sun felt so good on my skin, especially since I spent the last four days indoors, trying to recover from a cold. I just wanted to glab a blanket and sleep in the park until the sun went down and then continue our drive to Los Osos. We went in search of a gelateria on or near State St. after lunch but to no avail. We ended up at the Costco in Goleta to grab a cup of frozen yogurt before we proceeded northward. Thank goodness I remembered the exit! Thanks, UCSB Alums!

The drive along the coast is always breathtaking, rain or shine. You move from one beachside city to another until you curve inland through the mountain tunnel near Vandenberg AFB. Acres of farmland and rolling hills are passed on the drive up to Los Osos. We were tempted to stop at a winery but didn't think of it until we passed the last one in Santa Maria. Oh! Before I forget, if anyone wants to try a winery in Paso Robles, Eos Estate Winery is THE place to go to, especially when you want a great bottle of muscato and muscat canelli, a great dessert wine!

Uncle Andoy, Auntie Linda and Uncle Ray are all farmers. It's wonderful eating there. Not only do they live near the ocean so all the seafood is fresh, but all the vegetables and fruit are also very sweet, crisp and taste the way they used to when I was a kid. Very few experiences compare to being with them...everything about the visit is so down to earth.

My cousin, Ellaine, and I were joking about how her parents had invited the village to her sister's babyshower. The village was truly present yesterday. They helped with all facets of the festivities, down to cooking through the night to ensure that there was plenty of food for everyone at the party. Our families share the same experiences - descending from those who learned to live off the land, living in a 3 bedroom house with a small family in each room during the first years of our lives, growing up with an extended family, calling our parents' comadres and compadres "auntie and uncle" or "lolo and lola" because they looked after us (physically, mentally and spiritually) when our parents couldn't. I see us continuing the same traditions, hoping to extend that feeling of a village to our friends and family members who are not Pilipino. This is, indeed, one of the very many factors that make me feel proud to have been raised the way my brothers and I were. I come from a family of very strong individuals, people who have weathered way too many storms to count.

Everyone is getting older and hopefully a little wiser. My aunts were trying to marry off their sons for some reason. I couldn't help but think that maybe it would be worthwhile for my male cousins to leave home and figure out how to live on their own before they start looking for someone else to be their pseudo-moms. It's one thing to leave home for whatever reason and then come back to get your bearings, with the intention of leaving again. It's certainly another issue of never wanting to leave home until you potentially find "the one." Leaving home or just releasing yourself from your safety net has a ton to do with personal growth. Not being able to find "the one" has a hell of a lot do with that, as well. Questions or implications of marriage and/or children were rampant all weekend, as well. How could they resist with two grandchildren on their way? I think everyone is starting to feel rather aged. They want to see their family blossoming beyond their children. Um...that won't be happening for quite some time so no matter how many questions or implications keep coming, they just keep sliding off my back.

Funny moment #1
I was enthralled with the National Geographic Channel's show, Taboo . The program was about various cultures around the world including insects and spiders and other venomous creatures in their regular diets. I was so into the show that at one point, my mom shoves sinuman (sweet rice steamed in banana leaves) in my face and I jerk back thinking it was something as foreign as what I was watching on the television. That's the last time I'll be watching something like that before I sit down to eat.

Funny moment #2
Of course, the karaoke machine needs to break out at some point during a Pilipino gathering. Aunti Linda went so far as to make a contest out of it. The top three singers received cash prizes. Too bad I was still congested. After the sangria was whipped out and some line dancing started, I would have whipped all of the drunk aunties to an oblivion.

Many thanks to Auntie Amy who let Chris and I crash at their house. People were packed at Uncle Andoy's house. The bathrooms were madhouses and I didn't want to stick around to see what they were going to be like in the morning. Overall, the weekend was a wonderful end to the my ill-stricken week. Can't wait to hang out with the other side of the family come Christmas time.

It's raining, it's pouring and all LA natives think the sky is falling!

The one thing LA natives can't do is drive in the rain. The non LA natives know this and get freaked out so everyone gets all screwy on the roads during showers. This entire area is not built for water. The streets get flooded, the highways get flooded, backyards get flooded, garbage cans get flooded, critters' homes gets flooded. It's big news when it rains down here! All the stations think they should be outside IN the rain when they talk ABOUT the rain!

I'm feeling a little better today. Nasal passages have opened up and I can breathe out of my nose, finally!!! Maybe my sense of taste is back. My nose is still itchy and red. Yes, my only sickness for the year, damnit!

Would going to work for half the day today be overdoing it? I'm not completely sure if my director would like me being there but I know I have some cleaning up to do so I'm going anyway. Besides, I have to close tomorrow night for some event so I won't be going in until around noon or so.

Back to the grind...

the one thing i hate about being sick is losing my sense of taste. and with that goes your sense of smell and the ability to breathe out of your nose. sucks when you're trying to get to sleep. i currently have a bag of used tissue next to my bed...blech. at least i only get sick once a year so this better be the one time this happens! this probably also means that i should really start taking better care of myself, including ending all the excuses of not being able to exercise. a little at time, right...as long as i don't get this sick again, i'm all for it. i feel like i've been a hermit for the past two days. i only went out today because i needed to pick something up from a friend. even then, i felt like i was walking under water because my ears are plugged. i'm having the time of my life right now!

Remembering our Ancestors

Dia de los Muertos, aka Day of the Dead, aka Feast of All Souls just recently passed. It's an indigenous celebration that was passed to The Church by colonized ethnic groups who continued to practice this tradition long after they become christianized. It's a time to remember our ancestors, all of the struggles they endured in their lifetime and remembering that we stand on their victorious shoulders.

I was completely amazed at the traditions of this celebration when I was in the Philippines in 2003. I grew up knowing very little about this tradition. As far as I knew, you're supposed to build altars to your ancestors during special occassions and place the same food and beverages on the altar as that which the entire party would be eating. In the Philippines, not only was food placed on altars but an all out party was hoppin' at the cemetary. If it hadn't rained the night before, I'm sure they would have had karaoke machines bumpin' until sundown. Family members from afar came home for the occassion to help clean the debris on ancestral gravesites, decorate them, light candles in their ancestors' memories and take time to truly remember them.



My lovely friends introduced me to Dia de los Muertos in college. It was so similar to Pilipino traditions, it was not hard to embrace it. Besides, with all the pasteles y decoraciones hermosas, who could resist?

To my dearest Lola, Lolo and Uncle Gimo, thank you for your strong spirits. Your loving memories lives on in me and inspires me everyday of my life. Lola, you inspire me to be as great of a woman as you were in your lifetime. My most vivid memories of the Philippines are of you. Lolo, you inspire me to seek the truth in all that I do. Uncle Gimo, you remind me to live life to it's fullest and find the silver lining in everything. I miss all of you dearly but I know you're always with me and will always be there when I need a kick in the ass to keep going. I promise to share the gifts you've given to me to others I encounter in my lifetime.

I'm totally bummed that I can't travel right now, at least not as extensively as I want. I kind of feel like just isolating myself from everyone else so I don't have to feel envious of other people's whereabouts. Many factors come into play as to why I can't go very far - money, time, money, time, money.

At this point, I would be completely satisfied with being able to just relax and take a little break from work. I've been working my ass off this past month. All for the greater good but god damn it...it hurts sometimes. And to top it off, my mind has gotten so used to thinking very quickly and shooting off in different directions at one time that when it is time to just chill out, it takes a while for me to get into that mindset and the next thing I know it, it's time to go to work again.

I try to stay away from discussions about the area I work and/or any issues pertaining to it. But I've found that when opportunities arise, you gotta take advantage of it...or do you? I've really tried to stay concious about dividing my personal time with work but it really does get to you after you spend more of your time at work and find yourself with less personal time as usual.

I have the entire week of Christmas off. It seems so far away. I haven't seen my family in about a month or so, not since my parents came down here to move my brother into school. He comes around whenever he can but I think I particularly miss my cousins. Those bastards went to the big sumo convention in Vegas last month. V is getting bigger by the day, I'm sure and I have yet to see her. I haven't been to San Francisco in months. I miss my friends...I miss being with people who just know me, the ones who need no explanation of how I feel or what I'm feeling...they just know. Even planning time to see them feels like additional effort I can hardly extend right now.

Desire...wanting to roll into a ball and wait for the new year to come.

Erwin Federizo, one of my favorite visual artists right now, did this



and this




I love his style! I even ended up purchasing a print from him at FPAC this year. His designs are very fluid and historical in context. He had this great graphic of halo halo which I'm told is also in his kitchen at home. The artists that stand out to me have distinct touches to their work. If I like artists' work enough, I should be able to see or hear their work and pinpoint exactly who created it.

Erwin will be designing ads for Addidas and other big accounts for an ad agency in The City for the next month. Congrats to him! If he ever starts his own business again, I'm soo going to advocate for people to work with him!

My Hero & Inspiration

Blank Man, the ghetto fabulus hero to save the day!

just when i thought i was going to regulate my sleeping, exercising and working patterns...damnit...had a long talk with one of my roomies...life's challenges are what they are and definitely make you feel alive!

Maybe I'm not understanding something but how can one be working on a political campaign but not be fully engaged in the process by not being a registered voter? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? The rules can't be changed if you don't play the game first...right?

Ok...another random story...

This article should have been titled, "Outlawing Magic."
Before you build anything, shouldn't you automatically think to check with The City, especially when the safety of a child is involved? "Outlawing Magic?!" COME ON!


Not in My Neighbor's Backyard
By Martha Groves
Times Staff Writer

October 26, 2005

The mansionization battle rustling the leaves of North Barrington Avenue is something new even for Brentwood.

It's a dispute not over a 12,000-square-foot neo-Tudor monster or a towering modernist cube, but over a backyard treehouse for an 18-month-old girl.

This being Brentwood, of course, the edifice at issue is no ordinary treehouse.

When Les Firestein, a television producer, and his wife, Gwyn Lurie, a screenwriter, wanted to do something really special for their daughter, Sydney, they enlisted their friend Roderick Wolgamott Romero.

Romero is a renowned builder of elaborate treehouses for such celebrities as Sting and Donna Karan. His work can be found in the "fantasy gift" section of this year's Neiman Marcus holiday catalog. Beginning price: $50,000.

In the backyard of the Firestein-Lurie home, which sits on a tree-studded half-acre north of Sunset Boulevard, Romero and his buddies built a roughly 10-foot-by-10-foot structure of reclaimed wood, salvaged windows and vintage stained glass from Buenos Aires that would quicken the heart of any fun-loving child or parent. The treehouse includes a viewing deck bordered by a railing crafted from tree branches from the backyard.

In return, Romero asked for a week's worth of lodging and all the Baja Fresh meals he could eat. With his tattooed arms and braided, knee-length hair swept up under a tweed cap, Romero and his pals worked for days, even in the rain.

Richard Fleming, the couple's next-door neighbor and a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, was not amused.

He feared that children could perch in this aerie and look in on him and his wife in their backyard pool and hot tub. He suspected, also, that city codes had been violated.

Enter the city of Los Angeles. As the treehouse neared completion last Thursday, city inspector Thomas Sze arrived on the Firestein-Lurie doorstep, responding, he told them, to an anonymous complaint.

"Oh, that's big," Lurie said he told them after looking at the treehouse and the much larger platform on which it rested. Sze also expressed concern about the structure's safety. On Friday, he delivered a written order that all work be halted.

"We're requiring plans and permits if [they] want to continue," Dave Keim, the city's chief of code enforcement, said in an interview Tuesday. "We'll work with them to try to legalize this…. It's not going to be easy."

The city does not require permits for nonhabitable structures less than 8 feet square, but Keim said the treehouse exceeds that size and therefore requires city permission. Firestein and Lurie can appeal whether a permit is required.

Firestein, whose credits as a TV producer and writer include "The Drew Carey Show" and "In Living Color," said his rights have been violated. "We just want to make this a magical place," he said. "It's as if the city has come in and said: 'We're outlawing magic.'

"And where do we go from here? No viewing platforms? No climbing in trees? No swing sets? No children playing? It is, figuratively and literally, a slippery slope."

The slope on which the Firestein-Lurie treehouse sits is dramatic. The steep hillside spills down from the back steps of their house to an expanse of green dotted with a play set, a trampoline inserted directly into the lawn and a picnic table. The rear is lined with towering eucalyptus trees. A moss-covered path zigzags from the main house and deck to the grass.

From down below, one can look back up the hill to the underside of the platform that supports the treehouse. The platform, which by the city's estimation is 20 feet by 30 feet, vaguely resembles a ship, with its "prow" pointing toward the lawn. It is more or less triangular, built around three eucalyptus trees. The platform's beams rest on a system of steel rods that have been inserted into the trees. An arborist assured the homeowners and the builders that the poles would not harm the trees.

The windows of the treehouse face onto the Firestein-Lurie property. The treehouse originally had a rear window that overlooked Fleming's property. After Fleming complained, the builders repositioned it. Firestein and Lurie have also vowed to plant trees and vines to mask the view of the treehouse from Fleming's property.

The couple expressed surprise that the situation has come to this, given their efforts to keep neighbors informed of their intentions — and given the care they say they've taken to ensure that the treehouse is safe.

Shortly before Firestein and Lurie moved in in August, the couple who sold them their house held a dinner party to introduce them to the neighbors. Fleming and his wife were there. When Firestein and Lurie announced their plan to build a treehouse, Lurie said, one neighbor offered to create a piece of art for it.

Fleming, however, said the treehouse plan "never crossed these ears." If it had, he added, "I would have raised questions immediately."

Dressed in blue scrubs, Fleming stood on his front lawn one recent afternoon and said that "it may turn out to be fine."

After living cheek-by-jowl with neighbors at the beach for several years, he said he values the privacy that this leafy Brentwood neighborhood affords. So does his wife, Margaret Michaels.

The dispute has taken much of the fun out of the treehouse experience for Firestein and Lurie.

They have received encouragement from their neighbor to the south, Craig Butler, a graphic designer.

"I think it's really beautiful," Butler said. "From my vantage point, it is so well integrated, non-obtrusive and very charming. It's like a little clubhouse."

His wife, Alexis, however, noted that in this neighborhood, residents crave total privacy. "Whether it's beautiful or not is not the issue," she said. "If I thought they were looking into our pool, it would be upsetting."

Why I Have a Love/Hate Relationship w/USF

LOVE

#1
New Green Class Offered to Students of USF's School of Business and Management (aka McLaren School of Business for the old folks)
by Emily Coon
“The objective is to stay in business indefinitely.” Todd Sayre

This fall, Todd Sayre, associate professor - accounting, launched USF’s first course on sustainable business. Using science and economics, Sayre will demonstrate how sustainable practices make good business sense. Sustainable businesses seek to balance the necessity of economic achievement with environmental quality and social justice. A quick scan of the Dow Jones
Sustainability Index reveals how extensively corporate America is embracing this new perspective. Sayre asserts, however, that education has not kept up with the trend. He is eager for USF to “get on board.”

“The university’s Vision and Mission Statement is a good fit with the principles of sustainability,” he said. The new course boasts a stimulating line-up of guest speakers including the co-founder of Global Exchange and a top executive of Interface. Sayre has been coordinating with USF’s chapter of Net Impact, a national organization that promotes corporate social responsibility, green business, public policy, and legislation. They plan to publicize the speaker schedule as a lecture series open to the public.

Two field trips are planned for the end of the semester. One is to Frog’s Leap Winery, which employs sustainable farming practices such as the use of spiders rather than pesticides. The other trip is to Solar Living, an “off-the-grid” community in Marin.

The sustainable business course has proven popular with undergraduate students and is at maximum enrollment. Says Sayre, “I am excited about the semester. I have many socially aware students.”

#2
USF has increased their ethnic minority recruitment for instructors in the past few years and one of them on the tenure track is Assistant Professor Victor Rios. This picture does little justice to this fine specimen of a homie from around the way turned budding sociology professional with an expertise in gang formation and the juvenile justice system in the United States.
USF Alumni Donnettes, check out the latest issue of "USF in the News," Vol. IV, No. 2. Yes, I must confirm that I would have had further distraction besides the ocean views if this man were around back then.

HATE
eh...check out my other blogs...I've included tidbits on USF's shadiness...I'm sure I can dig up more dirt later. The University has been spending money like water to update dilapidated facilities and actually make it more asthetically attractive to go to school there. I'm sure some kind of drama is bound to come from that. Besides, it's good to still be in touch with faculty and administration.

Went to another fundraiser tonight and low and behold, Big Tone was there! First of all, this is the largest grossing fundraiser in the Asian Pacific American community I have been to, thus far. And it's only their 22nd year doing this. Of course, the politics were steep in this event. (I think I've grown a bit more cynical through all of the things I've been doing in the past few months.) Then Big Tone gets presented his awards and this ass doesn't even remember the name of the damn organization that's honoring him! This fool was apparently involved with the agency over the course of a decade, at the very least! Maybe he should lay off his press events and spend a little more time behind his damn desk.

I think the highlight of the night was when they called my friend's name in a drawing to win a car! It was so freakin' random and she wasn't even there! Her company was there to represent her! My other friend and I screamed at the same time when they called out the name! SO RANDOM! Too bad the ticket was paid by her company after she had pleaded to purchase the ticket to begin with. Maybe next time.

Value in Education

As I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to a radio program addressing education in Los Angeles, specifically the significance of Magnet schools in the district. Being a product of them from elementary through high school, I'm all for magnet programs!

According to a UCI professor on the radio show who wrote her dissertation on social ramifications of magnet schools, they began sometime in the '70s to address the need to have integrated campuses within public school districts due to economic, ethnic and other social differences. After the first couple of years they were running, people liked them so much, no one wanted to get rid of them. Then we come to present day and now there is a divide between those who claim that magnet schools and programs are simply for integration purposes and those who emphasize the academic excellence of the programs. In a city as large as Los Angeles, we see stand alone magnet schools, such as Bravo Magnet, that are governed by the same requirements as regular district schools and magnet programs within large district schools, such as the math, science and performing arts magnet programs at Van Nuys High School. The demand for these programs have gotten so high that the process to enroll students have now become quite competitive. The Magnet Program Director of LAUSD tried to explain on the radio show some point system they use to determine enrollment but it sounded a bit too complicated.

I wish I could have listened to the rest of the show but there were tons of interesting topics there were discussing. The moderator inquired about the overall academic performance of students in magnet schools and programs versus the overall performance of students in non-magnet programs. I think the fact that Bravo Magnet is the second top academic performing school in LAUSD is pretty damn significant. Principal Flores-Torres of Bravo mentioned that there are about 30% "gifted" students enrolled, along with a number of lower performing students. The fact that the school has a mix of academic performance levels is good because those who are not performing so well can get guidance and motivation from their peers who are. Coming from a magnet program within a larger school, all the honor students were typically also enrolled in the magnet programs. Our classes were smaller, we had more group projects and were more often hands-on. Our forest ecology classes contributed to the fire/deforestation research with the Calavares Big Trees Park. The marine biology class contributed to research on the marine life in and near the Monterey Bay Aquarium. How more hands on can you get?

The major question that stood out in my mind during the radio show was, can the way programs are being run in the magnet schools be integrated into regular programs within LAUSD? The Magnet Program Director said that some non-magnet schools are examining ways of using successful teaching methods in regular programs. Can this be a way to advance the overall academic performance of LAUSD? Let's hope so. If these changes are successful, I'm sure other districts will use it as a model to integrate their teaching methods, as well.

The reality of the educational system in the United States is apalling. The fact that some schools who have the resources employ development professionals to aid in finding funds for programs they do not want to cut is clear evidence on how strapped for cash our schools are. The fact that the stupid dork running California's government wants to take more money away from the public school system while his children are safely tucked away in private schools is even more disturbing. And they wonder why California's children are not academically performing as high as other states. Hm...maybe we kept more money in the schools and allowed each child to get a simple text book might help. THINK!

There's something about the Fall/beginning of the holiday season that jump starts my creativity. As I was getting ready this morning, tons of ideas were flowing through my head as to what I'd like to do for my lovies this season. Maybe it's the motivation and the fact that I should have more free time during these cold months to do stuff. Ah well...default is to just stay in bed, read books and play with my powerbook all day...if only!

Good times

HOTTIES! This was before the crazy reception at Moonie and Lovella's wedding, the most rowdiest one I've been to, thus far! I clearly remember when this picture was taken.






However, I can't quite remember this one.

Teen Beat

That's my friend, Xochitl and I. My sweet little brothers had to dig through the crates for this one! This was before I figured out Johnny Depp is a bit off his rocker. I have no idea why I ever thought it would be cool to take this picture! I'm embracing the phase.

Yes, that's Patrick Swayze in the background...Dirty Dancing phase, before he tried to make an album. There were probably a few New Kids on the Block and Debbie Gibson posters floating around on the walls, as well. I'm owning up to it.

Screw all of the posers!

Stepped into the Wardrobe

Disney finally hit the jackpot. They're putting out book one of CS Lewis' "The Chronicles of Narnia" - "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" THIS December!

Before Harry Potter came along, The Chronicles blew all the other similar fantasy tales out of the water. A whole new world is created in the first book, one in which parallels of reality and biblical parabels are perfectly presented in the eyes of a child. It was until later in college that I really started to study CS Lewis and found that he was a devout Christian - OOH! It explains the parallels between God and Aslan's role in the Narnian series. Lewis also wrote numerous papers examining Jesus, Christianity and faith. Lewis' Narnia series was a huge social commentary on political, educational and religious views of man.

In terms of the movie, many of the creative people were the same ones who helped to develop the Lord of the Rings movies so one can clearly imagine the scope of this film's visual effects. I CANNOT WAIT! I remember watching the BBC versions as a child and thinking, "this is great to get visuals of the books." Getting better visuals is astounding. I really hope they remain true to the stories. December can only tell!

Missing Pedestal

For some reason, I feel like gloating about this - "A Minor Trail? Not for Filipinos."

I hope this is another reason why Pinoys should not put their beloved artists on pedestals, more so than US artists!




A Minor Trial? Not to Filipinos
A drug possession case features a name that many in her homeland, and among L.A.'s immigrants, adore. She's an actress now in a sobering role.
By Jia-Rui Chong
Times Staff Writer

September 29, 2005

The People vs. Nora Cabaltera Villamayor, a small drug possession case being heard in a branch courthouse near LAX, has received little attention in the U.S. news media.

But in the Philippines, the coverage has been so extensive, and at times breathless, that it rivals the U.S. fixation on Michael Jackson and Martha Stewart.

For her first court date recently, a crowd including journalists from Manila and fans who flew in from across the United States swarmed the petite 53-year-old star of stage and screen. A puzzled Associated Press photographer turned to a Los Angeles correspondent for the Philippine Daily Inquirer covering the arraignment and asked, "Is she as big as Sophia Loren is in Italy?"

"Way bigger," the reporter replied.

Villamayor is anonymous in the United States, except among Filipinos, to whom she is better known by her stage name, Nora Aunor.

On March 30, authorities say, a federal baggage screener at Los Angeles International Airport reached into her black duffel carry-on and pulled out a glass pipe and 6.69 grams of methamphetamine inside a knotted-up baggy concealed in a sock. At the time, authorities didn't know of her celebrity, said Deputy Dist. Atty. Marguerite Rizzo.

But at home, and among Southern California's huge population of Filipino immigrants, Aunor is called simply "the Superstar."

Presidential candidates have been known to call her seeking an endorsement. Former President Joseph Estrada gave her a house in 1998 after she helped him with his campaign. She has been called the Philippines' greatest pop icon.

Aunor's legions of fans — Noranians, they call themselves — compare her as an actress to Meryl Streep. They have flocked to the more than 170 movies in which she has starred. As a Broadway-style belter in the style of Barbra Streisand, she has cut more than 20 albums.

Some in the Filipino press have portrayed Aunor's drug case as if it were one of her screen melodramas.

Her fans are divided over whether to believe the government's case but say they plan to stick by their star.

"We realize that Nora Aunor is no saint," said Epee Rafanan, a 55-year-old San Francisco resident and officer of the International Circle of Online Noranians, a fan club.

Rafanan and seven other fan club members from the Bay Area drove overnight so they could sit in on the arraignment at which Aunor, who is free on bail, pleaded not guilty.

For that first court date, April 21, fans outside shrieked and raised placards reading "Noranians Forever" and "We Love You Ate Guy." (Ate is a respectful term for older sister in the Philippines, and Guy is a nickname from high school that stuck.)

The fans followed her into the courtroom and filled the rows behind her. Some winked or smiled at her from their seats. Others walked over to whisper in her ear or pass her candy.

Erlinda Valderrama, a 57-year-old Baldwin Park resident who saw Aunor in concert recently, called her "a strong woman."

"She's going to get over it. She's been through worse," Valderrama said.

Corabel Ybanez, 55, also considers herself a Noranian but worries that the star has lost her direction.

Ybanez, who lives in New York City and was recently visiting relatives in Carson, thinks most people pity the actress now.

"I'm sad," she said. "She's practically alone, and she spends her time with friends who lead irregular lives."

Aunor has grown so popular with Filipinos because they identify with her rags-to-riches story, said Momar G. Visaya, editor of the Asian Journal, a Los Angeles-based newspaper for Filipinos.

"She's from a really poor, poor family in the Bicol region," he said. "People see her as an inspiration — if she can do it, anybody can."

To earn money as a child, Aunor would sell water at the train station or cooked food throughout town from a woven tray carried on her head.

She became famous at 14, when she won a national singing competition.

Aunor distinguished herself from many stars of the day by acting in an understated style and speaking in Tagalog, not English. She opened the door for a new kind of movie star, Visaya said.

Fans are especially loyal because Aunor goes out of her way to recognize them, Rafanan said.

After she regaled the audience with her golden voice at a January concert in Hawaii, she signed autographs for hours.

"People at the venue decided it was taking too long, and they would like to close the gates," Rafanan said. "There was still a long line of people waiting for her signature. Nora said, 'Well, I'm going to continue signing autographs outside.' She didn't stop until the last fan."

At a concert in Reno last spring, Rafanan recalled, Aunor walked to the seat of a 95-year-old woman in the audience and told the crowd that this woman had flown from New York to spend her birthday at the concert.

"These are older people who are saying, 'Oh, I didn't see you in the Philippines, but oh, I see you here. I'm so happy,' " Rafanan said.

Aunor, who was released on bail hours after her arrest, is continuing a U.S. concert tour, which has included recent dates in Glendale and Las Vegas.

This month, she was the guest star of a show at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut. The audience feverishly applauded her versions of "What a Feeling" and "The Impossible Dream."

Waiting backstage in a black and fuchsia ball gown and size-2 heels, Aunor said in halting but clear English that her lawyers had instructed her not to discuss details of the trial other than to say she denied the charges.

But she did say she had reached a state of calm about it. The only time nerves got the better of her, she said, was at her second court date.

"At the preliminary hearing, I was so nervous I cried," she said, clutching a reporter's arm. "But then I realized, when I do nothing, I don't have to be nervous or afraid. I believe in God."

Aunor has been living in the San Francisco area since August 2004, said her business manager, Norie Sayo. She declined to name the city, saying she didn't want fans to mob Aunor's house.

Aunor said she hoped to establish residency in the U.S. because she wanted to live a more anonymous life.

"I don't want to be called 'the Superstar,' " she said. "I was happy before when I was just in the provinces."

In Manila, she said, fans who saw her on the street would pinch her, just to say they had touched the Superstar. She never left her house to go shopping. Boutiques brought the newest fashions to her.

"California is nice," she said. "I can do everything I cannot in Manila. I can shop. I can go walking anywhere."

In the Bay Area, Filipino Americans might spot her at the Target or Radio Shack, but they usually leave her alone.

But she still inspired some hysteria during the Walnut concert. As soon as she stepped outside, a group of about 20 women surrounded Aunor, shouting, "Ate Guy! Ate Guy!"

All tried to hug her. Sayo had to pull Aunor free by the arm so she could sign autographs at a nearby table. As cameras flashed around the star, about 40 more people, looking delighted, waited while she signed programs, CDs and old photographs fans had brought.

Most did not mention the trial, but one fan did offer Aunor a business card. The woman told Aunor in mixed Tagalog and English to call her if she needed help because her husband knew someone in the district attorney's office.

For the trial, Sayo has been trying to downplay Aunor's celebrity status.

"I told the fan clubs, Don't come anymore" to court, she said. "We just want it to come out like a regular case, nothing special."

Aunor faces up to three years in prison and possible deportation if convicted. The trial is scheduled to begin Oct. 14, said prosecutor Rizzo.

Rizzo said she hadn't heard of Aunor until after the arraignment, when other lawyers in the office handed her the case and told her Aunor was famous. "She's just a defendant that I'm prosecuting," Rizzo said.

Fund Raising 101

When you're trying to raise money for the less fortunate, why would you target the less fortunate to attend an event or fund raiser? Um...maybe targeting a crowd that has more disposable income might help in the cause? I think this is one of the big things that get to me when I attend "art for art's sake" fund raisers. Most of the time, I see artists and other supporters who don't necessarily have the disposable to allow them to give.

The Youngest Maxim Reader

This boy's a trip. Maddux Paras is one of the chubbiest and cutest babies I know! I could just eat him!

The Soul of a Revolution

I finally had a chance to watch "Diarios de Motocicleta" tonight. I can understand why it was nominated for Academy Awards. It was a beautiful movie which took you through stunning landscapes of Sur America. It was also a wonderful story of how Ernesto "Che" Guevarra and his friend, Alberto Granada, experience the people and the land of which their priveleged lives allowed them to experience.

Throughout the journey, we see the two move out of their comfort zones and begin to see the inequalities and divisions that exist in their society. We see how they are affected by it and what they choose to do about their feelings and their passion to create change in their society. It's an inspirational story that not only makes you want to travel the world but learn from the people who keep this world turning - working families.

I've never examined any of Che's writings or philosophy. Time to put another one on my list.

By the way, get your dvd copies now!

Santa Barbara Camping

All we did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep and drink.


Noel apparently was the pro at all this camping stuff.



The boys came up with a super smart game...who could throw a rock the farthest into the ocean.


And for the "wiener," Noel got to wear these stylin' glasses...er goggles?


We went wine tasting afterwards. Don't let these pictures fool you. The first winery we went to had wines stored in metal barrels...yech! We could taste the metal in the wine. How 'bout using glass barrels?


It was back to LA after traipsing through Santa Barbara County, particularly in Solvang. We were done after the hunt for THE Cheese store was over. Tons of wine on a hot day is not always a great idea.

Next year...Yosemite!

"Filipinotown Searching for Its Center"

I've heard so many damn comments about this freakin' LA Times article in the past few days. I guess it was expected since I do work in Historic Filipinotown with one of the largest community organizations there.

I don't quite understand what the purpose was of the article? From what I heard when people were being interviewed for this article, it sounded like the writing was going to be a bit more extensive than what appeared in the paper. For those folks who were "misquoted" how 'bout writing into the opinion section of the LA Times and setting it straight. If you don't make any noise, who's going to hear you? Besides, whatever you write will most likely make the paper since it's in direct response to a previous article and it looks like The Times wants to give more focus to the other brown folks in this city. It's about freakin' time, no?

So what about the people who know nothing about Historic Filipinotown. Let's hope this article drives them to find out more. It's great publicity for SIPA, I can tell you that!

The question remains, is an economic center for Historic Filipinotown the right direction to go when the majority of the Filipino American community has yet to figure out how to work together? Is an economic center something that we, as a community really need? Maybe this area needs to grow as naturally as other Pilipino-centric areas have such as Panorama City, West Covina, Carson City and National City. How are you going to participate in the change? Talk is cheap.

Restless

What to do, what to do...I'm supposed to get motivated and start exercising again...tomorrow? I guess it would be a good thing if I actually disciplined myself more...tomorrow?

Sweeet, Apple!

The company is blasting the electronic music industry out of the water. It has cornered 82% of the market. To many, Steve Jobs is God! To me, he's a freakin' genius. The leadership he has given to Apple is incomparable. So what do you do when you've determined your largest market share? Create more developments so you make more money in that market!

Some new developments -
1. New version of Itunes w/functions that allow users to make it more convenient for users to listen to the music THE WAY THEY WANT
2. The exclusive acquisition of all of Madonna's albums
3. The exclusive acquisition of all of the audio books of Harry Potter
4. An exclusive partnership with Motorola to provide an Itunes phone through Cingular's network - gives access to music anywhere in the world through the network combined with the phone features....the ads for this are fuckin' AWESOME...ok, some are corny but they get the message across and Apple, Cingular and Motorola will be reaping the rewards from this for quite some time
5. more deals have been made with Honda, Acura, Audi and Volkswagen to offer ipod connectivity in their cars - by 2006, 30% of all cars in the US will offer this option
6. Ipod Mini be gone! - they've introduce the Ipod Nano that's as small as the coin pocket in traditional jeans. It carries 1,000 songs and is in color! Feast your eyes....kids, this is smaller than the stupid Razr phone that I've been lusting about since it came out. The smallest will have 2 gigs and holds 500 songs. It's selling for $199. It's just $70 more than the Shuffle. Which one would you get? Keep in mind the Shuffle has no display screen.



So is this whole entry an Apple ad? OF COURSE! Simply because they rock! Until the next big company comes along, my statement stays! I've worked on their systems since I was in 4th grade and I'm not backing out anytime soon.

Go Steve Jobs and your peeps! Thanks for my super cute Powerbook, too!

Palengke Politics

In a palengke (market), there's tons of activities going on but in the midst of all the chaos, exchanges of goods are had, individuals communicate but everything can never really seem to come together and work in unison. I witnessed a wonderful example of palengke politics tonight. SIPA had a community meeting for two of our housing developments.

Magnolia Tree is on 2nd & Lake. It's an affordable housing development with 46 family units. We're going to break ground in October and it's going to go off without a hitch.

Mango Tree is the mixed used, Seniors' housing development that's going to be across the street from our existing offices. It has received little backing from the City of LA, thus far. The purpose of the community meeting was to get names and people to physically back the project so the logistics could start getting processed by the City of LA.

First of all, the presentation of the material was a bit confusing, particularly for the audience. It wasn't even clear to me at first what was going to happen. A presentation was made about SIPA and then they went in to the transit survey and the housing developments. When you are presenting to an audience who is a bit physically older and mentally slower, holds English as a second language, you might not want to frame your statements with words and concepts that are at a higher intellectual level. I was a bit astounded at how things were presented. There were several times I just wanted to grab the mics out of all of the speakers hands and clearly explain everything.

The community was brought together to:
1. learn more about SIPA and the services that are offered to the surrounding community-in-need
2. participate in a transit survey to improve the conditions of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown
3. get more information about SIPA's two housing developments
4. pledge their committment to physically call the council district office to state their support for the Mango Tree project

Why did it take more than one hour?! Granted, people did eat but some of the questions that were asked were a bit ridiculous only because the material was not presented in a very clear manner.

When information was being given about SIPA and our services, you could hear the leaves rustling in the wind. Statements like case management and counseling, telecom rights campaign, and empowerment and leadership programs were way too sophisticated of words for the audience. You would think that presenters would get this way before-hand. Things were being translated in Spanish but I don't think that helped very much either!!!

The transit survey was presented and things just kept going downhill. All they needed to say was, "We want to improve all of the bus stops in Historic Filipinotown by placing seats with covers and lights at the most frequented stops. We need you to fill out this survey with your comments and needs so we have proof to give to the City of LA so we can tell them that the community really does want to make these changes!"

The housing part was what killed me the most. It took forever for people to freakin' get the point that Magnolia Tree had no issues. Mango Tree was the development in danger. If no calls and/or backing gets to the City of LA, there will be no development, there will be no senior housing, there will be no new townhouses, there will be no new SIPA offices so we can do more and the future of other affordable housing developments in Historic Filipinotown becomes greatly jeopardized. Why that was so hard to get was solely based on the fact that concepts were just way too intangible for the audience.

In the midst of the entire event, people were talking amongst each other. People were answering cellphones. This one man kept standing up and started to walk around the room for whatever reason. Those who were hard of hearing were freakin' yelling at each other while they were attempting to ask questions of each other. Peter was laughing hysterically. Staff told the audience several times to give their attention to the speaker. Al Garcia had to give his interepretation of all the concepts in loud-ass Tagalog every so often. I was a bit jealous since I really wanted to do the same damn thing but in English so the other presenters could see how to properly address the audience.

I'm so addressing this madness at our next management meeting!

Tomorrow...tomorrow...tomorrow

It's time for my pops to stop smoking. I mean really, it's time. He's smoked for years and I was so scared when I talked to him today. It actually made me want to run home. He sounded as if he was hooked up to a respirator, gathering as much breath as possible to talk to me. Turns out he's been on respiratory antibiotics. He was with Mike at the clinic because he's been sick for the past few days, as well. I love my dad...always taking care of everyone else but himself. Not always a good trait to have, though. His little saying of "do as I say, not as I do" has been ringing through my head for years. He promised he'd stop smoking. I'm holding him to that.

Say "NO" to CA Sushi Bowl!

Just in case anyone plans on eating at the California Sushi Bowl on Vermont and Melrose anytime soon, I'd recommend you don't. That was the last thing I ate last Thursday before I started to feel a little off. Friday, it got worse. I started to feel more queasy and had a headache for most of the day. It then proceeded to nausea but I never through up, which may or may not have been a good thing.

I tried to get up on Saturday morning to go to the bathroom. As I was standing in front of the mirror, I felt extremely light headed and felt as if I was going to faint. The last time I felt that way was before I fainted in high school before I was diagnosed with anemia. I proceeded to panic trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. All the roomies peaced-out for the weekend so luckily The Joe was gracious enough to look after me while I was sweating away all of Saturday. I was knocked out! I was too weak to eat or drink anything, which sucked because that left me extremely weak!! I managed to muster up enough strength to move to the living room in the evening. I didn't have the strength to move after that so I spent the night on my futon in the living room.

The next morning was a little better. With a little mental will, I managed to get a little bit of cereal in me and take a warm shower after I determined that I had enough strength to actually stand for longer than a minute. I was still out of breath afterwards but felt a little better.

Today is another day and I'm still trying to recover my strength. No lifting big, fat boxes. Lots of fluids, though.

Lesson learned, kids...be extremely picky which "B" places you get food from.

$$$$$$$$

The almighty green devil...this freakin' world can't live without it. Working in the world of nonprofits really changes your view of money. It's a means of survival. You travel that fine line between making a profit for profits' sake and making a profit for the sake of the segment of the community you serve.

Being anti towards the corporate community is pointless. The reality is that the majority of the financial support that exists in the Pilipino community comes from corporations, not from individuals. But for non-corporate types, if you don't have events, it makes it look as if the organization "isn't doing anything." There's such a large disconnect from the people being served and taking advantage of the services and donors. That's one of the paradoxes I've observed over the past few months. It's quite hilarious. People expect you to better the community but they don't want to pick up their own torches to start supporting the community they often criticize for being disconnected and difficult to organize.

Where is it going to stop? I see the same attitudes passed on through generations. I keep thinking a change has to come soon but I keep getting discouraged when people in MY generation don't see the value in investing in themselves, in their people, in their families, in their youth, in their peers. And I'm just not talking about money. I'm talking about time and developing relationships that will help to sustain a cause, an organization.

And then there are those who want to take on every single issue possible. Intentions are grand, a little too grand. It takes a while for them to realize that you can't save the entire world by yourself. You're going to have to work with other people. Politics is a given. Whether you like to deal with it or not, you're going to need to learn how to play the game. Just be careful who your bedfellows are. Sometimes they don't always have the best intentions.

Lastly, there are tons of people who like to hear themselves speak. They want their grandstands because they think that's really going to make people listen to them. I've always had the experience of people not listening to those who are yelling. Stop yelling people, it's not going to get anywhere and will most certainly not get you what you want.

So all of these attitudes begin and end with money. What doesn't? I guess the key is to figure what kind of good you want to get from it and how do you go about getting what you want with it.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

YOU MUST THINK I'M STUPID! Motherfucker...think again!

We going campin'!

God only knows how this weekend is going to be. What has been a long time coming, had a few bumps along the way and is now actually happening is a bit hard to believe. I'm looking forward to it, though. Hopefully these fools won't be late so we can actually get a good camp site.

We're going to El Capitan. It looks beautiful, right on the ocean and connected to Refugio State Beach.

Uncle Andoy and Auntie Evelyn, along with Lanie are going to be at the Santa Barbara Farmer's Market. Can't wait to see them, either. I haven't seen family in a while. I even managed a little visit with Manong Ped and Lee while those fools are down here with Karen and Marie.

This is going to be a nice little getaway that has certainly been a long time coming. Pictures to come!

Where did it go?!

Dear Most High, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card, please let me find the office depot card.


8/10/05 8:18am
WOOHOO....found it! The best thing about it is now my laundry is seperated and ready to go! Mercury still sucks!

Happiest Place on Earth?

We're going here on Monday. As much as I don't want to be in the office, it's going to be a tad bit nerve racking considering we have a big event on Thursday and we're supposed to sell out on tickets.

Besides that, I'm not really looking forward to the heat and all the kiddies running about. Maybe I'm just being bah-humbug but damnit, it couldn't have come at such an inopportune time! Everytime I'm there, I also keep thinking of how happy can Disneyland be? It's a company that was started very long ago and had a different focus then. Now, the corporation has presented stories in a way that can be compared to how fastfood has stormed the nation. Disney has managed to dull down stories as much as their big name studio friends who make the movies that tell half truths.

Why am I being so cynical lately? Vacation time...

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

With the good comes the bad. I had a good day today...press conference this morning w/food and government officials talking about how the Voting Rights Act needs to be reapproved by the US Congress...came back for about an hour and then went to lunch and had the BEST MEATLOAF EVER!!!...took a nice tour of the Hollywood Hills, Lake Hollywood, drove by the Hollywood sign and salivated over all the super nice haciendas in the Hills...came back to the office and was let off early. Hoped to spend time with someone I haven't seen all freakin' damn week and now there's some stupid emergency and I'm back at work...again...writing in this damn journal...friend is getting a pedicure...my head feels heavy and all I want is a damn hug...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?! motherfucker!

Winding down

It's late and I just got home about 15 minutes ago. Can't go to sleep yet so doing some winding down. I have so much pent up emotion right now.

I've been working like mad lately. Even friends who contact me at work can't get a hold of me.

We had to go to a movie premiere/screening of Miramax Films "The Great Raid" tonight. It was extremely difficult to watch scenes of the movie since the entire time I kept thinking about my relatives who lived through World War 2 and the Bataan Death March. I've been asked to keep my critiques to myself until after the next screening next week but hey, who's going to tell?



I kept waiting for something to be pronounced correctly by the purow/putit in the production. There were a couple of Tagalog words muttered by one of the actors but for the most part, everything else was pronounced with a very westernized tongue. I had a bit of a problem with the flawless makeup some of the women wore, particularly in the so-called battlefield and war-torn country. I didn't expect for them to show much of the story from the perspective of the Philippines and its people, the country that was raped by BOTH SPAIN AND THE UNITED STATES. I guess the edit would have been a little too long to show all of that. So what's it come down to, people? I think we're going to really need to start making our own damn films since none of the major western production companies are going to do it...ideal situation, no?

Sometimes I see these things and think, "Are we, as Pilipinos, ever going to break out of the mentality that we're not good enough to be in the forefront of media outlets or even in society?" How long are we going to settle for being portrayed as the "supporting actors?" I hear way too often, "Oh, it was a great story. Really shows how the Pilipino People are so caring." Always taking care of other people aside from themselves. It's a paradox that I see often, even from those in our community who feel they are trying to break the cycle. They're waiting for the next super power purow/putit to save them from themselves. When are we going to start taking care of ourselves? When are we going to begin telling our own stories and SUPPORTING each other through that?

Although this story could be portrayed as just another one that shows how Americans save the day, yet again, it also shows how vital it was to work with the Pilipino rebel soldiers. Before we get all pro-US, let's also remember that these same "rebel soldiers" were probably also the same ones who revert to fighting the US Baboys after they didn't want to get out of the country. The movie also neglected to show the exchange of the "deed" of the Philippines between Spain and the US. I guess that would have added a little more time to the movie than they wanted to, as well.

Overall, this movie was fine in showing the struggles and disparities of war, as well as the so-called true heroes. It shows the benefits in working with a group of individuals from different backgrounds, as well as highlights the historical significance of the piece. It's definitely something everyone should see. But I highly urge that this is definitely not where we, as Pilipinos and Pilipino Americans should stop. Fine, support a "mainstream" movie that takes place in the Philippines but let's work towards stopping Hollywood and the entertainment industry, as a whole, it's exoticism of the country and its people. I love meeting entertainment or corporate types who love to tell me how "exotic" my look is after they find out I'm "FIlipino." "I love that country. The people are sooo beautiful and oh so friendly!" It's a good thing they haven't opened their eyes to how the Philippines' people are just accomodating them in order to become as capitalistic as it's dominators in hopes of gaining more financial wealth than its oppressors so they can be just like them! Who's the bad guy again?

Aside from that, I'm exhausted, braindead and really, truly missing personal time.

Home Sweet Home

Found out someone attempted to break in to my mom's Pathfinder last Friday in broad daylight. Those are some fuckin' balls! Then, when they call the police for a report, they're told that they'd have to fill out a form online! What about the people who have limited or no access to the internet, as well as those who don't know how to use it?! My poor mother. No one has shown her how to even turn on the computer. I went ahead and filled out the stupid form online for her and sent the Stockton Police Department a nice little message.


From: Gerlie
Subject: Police Reporting
Date: August 1, 2005 11:08:28 PM PDT
To: police@ci.stockton.ca.us
Cc: Mom, Mike, Dist6@ci.stockton.ca.us

To whom it may concern,
My parents experienced an attempted auto theft last week in broad daylight. Although their car was not stolen, the feeling of violation on their personal property and well being continues to linger.

An attempt was made to contact the Stockton police department to report the crime shortly after the discovery of their damaged vehicle. The person they spoke with informed them that they would not send out a police car and instructed my mother fill out a police report online. I was a bit taken aback that the only option presented to them was to fill out the report online. I realize that the online reporting may make the process a bit more efficient. Is there any other way to get access to your services for those with 1) limited personal access to the internet, 2) limited or no knowledge of how to use the internet? I am concerned because having access to this type of technology is not always afforded to those of older age nor to those at low levels of income.

The crime happened on Friday, July 29th around 5pm. I did not hear about the news until today, 8/1/05. Because my parents have limited knowledge of the internet, I filled out the application for them even though I now live in Northridge in Southern California. If you would like to reference the temporary police report number, it is T05001721. It was submitted today, 8/1/05 at 19:12.

I applaud the technological advancements the Police Department and the City of Stockton have made with offering online services but I hope provisions have been made for those who have yet to afford access to those technolgical advancements. I have already suggested to my mother that she and my father look into advocating for a neighborhood watch program if there is not one already, as well as working with the local neighborhood council or their city council district office to ensure the well being of their neighborhood. Should you hear of more crimes in that area, I strongly advocate that police cars perform periodic drive-throughs on top of residences' efforts to maintain the well being of their communities.

Sincerely,
Gerlie Collado
Thomas Edison High School - Class of 1997
Stockton resident - 15 years


I took the liberty of copying their council district office, as well as one of my dingbat brothers who hasn't taught my mom how to use the freakin' computer! I promised mama I would teach her basics as long as she learned how to check her voicemail on her cellphone. No voicemail, no internet training. :-)

The Hunt

PREPARATIONS

Time to feed one of my cravings......shoes!!! I haven't purchased any cute ones in a while!!! I can't even remember the last time I got new shoes! When these cravings hit, you just have to satisfy them or it's going to start eating at you! Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Now find the right ones, that's the fun of the hunt! Anyone who can locate these gets a prize!

THE PRIZE


WOOHOO! Found them in tan in a random store AND they were on sale! My day was made! :-)

Babies solve everything

Too many complaints and negative energy right now...but baby made me feel better.

F*$%in' Flips!!!

I HATE CRAB MENTALITY!!!! Learn to be freakin' supportive, damnit! Oh...are you feeling neglected...ohh...let me baby you so you can feel better about yourself! Get over it already, f*$%ers!!!