I'm totally bummed that I can't travel right now, at least not as extensively as I want. I kind of feel like just isolating myself from everyone else so I don't have to feel envious of other people's whereabouts. Many factors come into play as to why I can't go very far - money, time, money, time, money.

At this point, I would be completely satisfied with being able to just relax and take a little break from work. I've been working my ass off this past month. All for the greater good but god damn it...it hurts sometimes. And to top it off, my mind has gotten so used to thinking very quickly and shooting off in different directions at one time that when it is time to just chill out, it takes a while for me to get into that mindset and the next thing I know it, it's time to go to work again.

I try to stay away from discussions about the area I work and/or any issues pertaining to it. But I've found that when opportunities arise, you gotta take advantage of it...or do you? I've really tried to stay concious about dividing my personal time with work but it really does get to you after you spend more of your time at work and find yourself with less personal time as usual.

I have the entire week of Christmas off. It seems so far away. I haven't seen my family in about a month or so, not since my parents came down here to move my brother into school. He comes around whenever he can but I think I particularly miss my cousins. Those bastards went to the big sumo convention in Vegas last month. V is getting bigger by the day, I'm sure and I have yet to see her. I haven't been to San Francisco in months. I miss my friends...I miss being with people who just know me, the ones who need no explanation of how I feel or what I'm feeling...they just know. Even planning time to see them feels like additional effort I can hardly extend right now.

Desire...wanting to roll into a ball and wait for the new year to come.